This book was such a fun, dark, and subversive twist on the typical fantasy heroine journey with just the right amount of spice, sarcasm, and soul that had me hooked from start to finish.

Ysabel is a fantastic FMC: jaded, flawed, reckless, and deeply human despite being revered as a literal Holy Maiden. Her power to heal with a touch is interesting, but the cost (losing a day of her life for every life she saves) is a brutal and heartbreaking setup.

Now add in the political and religious manipulation she suffers at the hands of the Head Cardinal, and you've got a character who is desperate to reclaim her agency, even if it means breaking all the rules she’s been raised to follow.

Enter Kaine; the wounded, mysterious, and brooding Dark Lord who refuses her healing to spare her life.

Their chemistry? Delicious.
Their dynamic? Chaotic and flirty in the best way.

I loved how their connection slowly builds from reluctant allies to something more; mutual respect, desire, and genuine care. And the banter? I loved it!

There’s also a rich backstory of political tension, class conflict, and magical intrigue that adds a real weight to the plot. This makes it so much more interesting for me.

Read this if you are into:

✔️ Dark fantasy themes

✔️ Subversive holy maiden trope

✔️ Enemies-to-lovers flirtation

✔️ Political rebellion & court intrigue

✔️ Found family & feminist rage

✔️ Morally grey characters with heart

If you like your fantasy with sass, spice, and just enough sacred scandal, then give this one a go.

I would like to thank the publisher for sending me an audio copy in exchange for an honest review through NetGalley.

Ysabel is the holy maiden, the only one in the world who can heal people with a touch. However, her gift comes with a price, and for each person she saves she loses a day of her own life, and while she's forced to give up her life piece by piece she must also maintain an image of purity... though behind the scenes she is far from it. With the head Cardinal holding her brother hostage and forcing her to remain in the city and heal people as the countdown begins for her to become a human sacrifice, Ysabel refuses to drag anyone else into her problems. So when she finds a man horribly wounded in her clinic and he declines her healing, she's absolutely intrigued. And it turns out that man also happens to be Dark Lord Kaine. Kaine wants revenge on the people who tried to poison him, and Ysabel decides to use this as her opportunity to get away, stop a war, protect the innocents in and around the city, and try and avoid her fate, even if it's just for a little while longer.

THIS WAS AMAZING! And absolutely hilarious. I loved Ysabel, and all the moments between her and Kaine are fantastic. Let me first say, the representation in this was perfection. Now, when it comes to plot, I was all about, well, everything. From the whole Holy Maiden thing she had going on to the dominatrix in the bedroom and the way Kaine was her sub was wild, and I was here for it. Then there's the games and why they hold them, which helped with more world building and was entertaining. I love the way that we get to see the power dynamics between the different races of people (ie humans, dwarves, elves, etc) through the way that she goes about handling things -- especially since women are still on the bottom run of that ladder. And then there was the end which I will not spoil because wow that felt like a complete flip from the cozy(ish) vibes of the rest of the book, but it worked. And then there's our himbo/barbarian Dark Lord who is such a sweet and sexy man. And let's not forget her amazing bodyguard who is just itching for a fight and I was here for it. I honestly loved everything about this. But also, I would've loved to have seen her step on him again. Because wow, that was hot. I would definitely recommend this book, and the audiobook? Perfection. I loved the way the characters were brought to life. 10/10 would recommend.

A Holy Maiden’s Guide to Getting Kidnapped is a delightful and lighthearted standalone novel that is part of the Scandals of the Gifted series. I suspect that this series will feature interconnected standalones.

The heroine, Holy Maiden Ysabel, is a formidable and confident individual with a manipulative streak. However, she also possesses face blindness and a divine gift of healing, which comes at a steep price—a day of her own life per patient healed. Consequently, her goodwill is constantly exploited.

On the other hand, the hero, Dark Lord Kaine, is not cunning or conniving, but he possesses the ability to detect bad intentions and possesses other unique magical abilities that he steals. Initially, Ysabel is cautious around Kaine due to his title, as the previous Dark Lord had wronged her, and she fears that it might happen again. However, he proves to be as caring and righteous as she is.

The world-building in this novel is intricate, and the magic system and its quirks are truly unique. The characters are well-developed, each with their own quirks and personalities. Kaine is portrayed as a playful and obedient puppy, but be warned, he is loyal and has a bite. Ysabel, on the other hand, is portrayed as a self-sacrificing and submissive individual, but she secretly enjoys dominating in the bedroom. It’s rather frustrating that she’s a feminist who helps the needy, improves people’s lives, and then bows down to Jiang and the other cardinals. When she refuses help, it irks me. I suppose it wouldn’t be much of a story if she always made the right choices. Fortunately, she learns to lean on her people by the end.

Alzira, Ysabel’s loyal companion, is a hilarious character. She makes some rather amusing remarks, such as, “One of these days, the queen will step into a dark alleyway, and I’ll be there.”

I appreciate that LGBT characters are represented in this novel, and one of them is even a main character.

Jiang and the cardinals are quite unremarkable in terms of their personalities. Aside from Jiang, the cardinals have no magical abilities. The story seems to drag on when Ysabel repeats herself regarding the political challenges she faces. However, it picks up in the last two hours of the audiobook, during the World Games and when Jiang’s schemes are revealed. Overall, it’s an entertaining story about a heroine who finally learns her worth and saves the world with friends by her side.

The audiobook is narrated by Hollie Jackson, and her performance is excellent. I enjoyed the variety of character voices she employs, and her tone and pitch are spot-on. Her speed is consistent, and I played it at 1.25x, which was perfect for me. The only confusion is Ysabel’s bodyguard’s name. It sounds like Altheada but it’s spelled Alzira in the book synopsis.

Lastly, huge thanks to Katy Nyquist, Podium Publishing and Victory Editing NetGalley Co-op for providing me with an ALC, which allowed me to listen to the book and voluntarily provide an unbiased review.

TROPES/ THEMES: self sacrificing, suicidal, opposites attract, gods, cardinals, necromancers, magic, dom/sub, politics, LGBT representation

This book is a wild ride. I kept catching myself laughing out loud. I really enjoyed the premise of the book. I loved the characters. I loved that we follow the holy maiden, who definitely is not holy. This book takes typical romantic tropes and turned them all on his head. And I was here for every minute of it.
Don’t get me wrong. This book does have a lot of comedy, but it does bring a lot of societal issues to the forefront. If you’re looking for a wacky, good time, I would definitely recommend this book.

I did enjoy the narration in this book as well

Thank you to Netgalley for this ALC

This book is a wild ride. I kept catching myself laughing out loud. I really enjoyed the premise of the book. I loved the characters. I loved that we follow the holy maiden, who definitely is not holy. This book takes typical romantic tropes and turned them all on his head. And I was here for every minute of it.
Don’t get me wrong. This book does have a lot of comedy, but it does bring a lot of societal issues to the forefront. If you’re looking for a wacky, good time, I would definitely recommend this book.

I did enjoy the narration in this book as well

Thank you to Netgalley for this ALC

This one is literally all over the place, but in a wonderful way. The FMC is a holy maiden who isn’t quite holy. The MMC is a dark lord who is honestly a stoic comedian. There’s complex world building, complex religious building, complex magic system, it is all pretty complex. But for its complexity, it is very enjoyable. The author basically takes all of the different aspects of fantasy and romantasy and stirs up the pot!

The FMC’s inner monologues are often funny and cheeky. Her sharp wittiness is one you cannot help but love. She is sarcastic, feisty, and sassy, but she has depth to her personality. She is also very self-aware of who she is and how she got there. There exists both tragic backstory and empowerment, as the FMC does not fall victim to her past.

Hollie Jackson was also an amazing choice for a narrator. He past work with fantasy and sci-fi novels (For those of you Ice Planet Barbarian’s fans) gives this one that bit of an edge that takes it a bit out of fantasy and makes it more real, and I am here for it.

Quirky, fast-paced, and unexpectedly cozy. I was hooked from page one!
The Holy Maiden’s Guide to Getting Kidnapped sucked me in immediately with its snappy opening and never let go. This book is a rare blend of laugh-out-loud banter, strong character chemistry, and cozy fantasy vibes, all wrapped in a narrative that never drags. If you love witty dialogue and fast pacing, this is one to grab ASAP.
The heroine is delightfully intriguing, smart, sarcastic, and easy to root for. Her dynamic with the other characters sparkles, and the banter is top-tier. While there’s minimal spice, the tension and connection between characters still sizzle in a more emotional, character-driven way.
One of the absolute highlights of this book is the thoughtful and respectful LGBTQ+ and kink representation. There’s a casual inclusivity here that feels genuine and well-integrated, not performative; especially in its handling of trans and queer identities. It’s clear the author put care into portraying a wide spectrum of people in a cozy, affirming fantasy setting.
Highly recommend if you're into:
✨ Witty, banter-heavy writing
✨ A fast, fun plot
✨ Cozy queer fantasy
✨ Subtle kink and LGBTQ+ rep done right
✨ Characters that feel like real, lovable weirdos
Will definitely be watching for more from Katy Nyquist!

This book was an absolute riot. The story line was fun and exciting and I found myself giggling quite a few times. I loved the representation in the diverse cast of characters. The politics and magic system were also interesting. I do wish that the book had not been a sprint and had slowed down a little so we could spend more time in different scenes. The narrator really was the icing on the cake with this one, she really weaved her magic into reading this book.

The characters are so fun, and the dialogue is hilarious. The story drags a little, I kept checking how many pages were left.

The main character is face blind! I thought it was so cool to see that represented and how it affects her day to day life. She was a little annoying in how fast she is willing to give up when it comes to herself vs how hard she would fight for a stranger. I get that she has reasons to be that way, but it became really grating after a while to keep hearing about it.

I liked the tone of the book a lot, even when it felt a little bit social justice warrior-y — I’d way rather that than the alternative!

I am going back and forth on this review, whether it is 2 or 3 stars. This book had so many great aspects to it, but then when I was being sucked into the plot and all the parts I did REALLY enjoy about this book, it would ruin it by A) our FMC being so whiny and annoying, or B) throwing in some random agenda, or C) the MMC in general.

Things I enjoyed: The faceblindness cause I related so freaking hard to that! The way our FMC manipulated everyone in the kingdom to further her wants. And the comedy was on point! The female guard that our FMC created was fabulous. I would read a book just about that story. The politics were deep and politicking (is that a word?) and were so so so interesting seeing the way she would manipulate everyone to do her wishes, I was swept up in just that!

What bothered me was the fake whining of the FMC to any man and the pathetic whimpering, but then she claims to be big and strong and is a strong independent woman who can do anything (also a Dom??? which was kinda random). Then the second was the excessive list of agendas. With any fantasy book, I always ask why we have these agendas here in a fantasy world when they could just not be in your world you create to begin with? There was just way too much of it happening when it did not need to be there and took away from the story. Finally, the MMC was not sexy. He was kinda terrible to her, never listening or really caring what she had to say. Kinda just trusted aside her feelings and went after what he wanted. Not really something I enjoyed about this guy.

I would recommend this book to people who liked: That Time I Got Drunk and Saved A Demon

Okay, real talk: "A Holy Maiden’s Guide to Getting Kidnapped" by Katy Nyquist is the kind of spicy, hilarious, and unexpectedly deep fantasy I didn’t realize I needed in my life. It’s like if you took all the tropes you’re used to—meek heroines, brooding dark lords—and said, “Nah, let’s just shake it up a bit.” And boom, what you get is Ysabel, a Holy Maiden who’s basically the coolest girl at fantasy camp. She’s got healing powers that come with a hefty dose of guilt and a side of existential crisis, all while juggling her desire to drink, party, and maybe even flirt with her dark lord (because why not?).
The characters? Chef’s kiss. Ysabel isn’t some clueless “pure” heroine. Girl’s face-blind (literally), drinks her feelings, and isn’t afraid to call out religious bigots for their toxic bullshit. And her relationship with her loyal badass bodyguard Alzira? OMG, they’ve got friendship goals written all over them—loyalty so fierce I wanted to clone them both. Then there's Kaine, aka the “Dark Lord,” who’s actually a gigantic dork, and honestly, I shipped their awkward, slow-burn bond so hard I almost forgot this was supposed to be a fantasy.
Representation? Yes, please. Nyquist gives us trans characters who aren’t cardboard cutouts—real, fleshed-out, funny, and relatable. Plus, there’s a lot of talk about bodies, identity, and what it means to be truly yourself. Honestly, I loved how the story took time to explore these things instead of just glossing over them for plot convenience.
Now, I gotta drop the tea: this book hits some pretty heavy and uncomfortable themes right out of the gate—rape, pedophilia, abuse—without trigger warnings, so if you’re sensitive to that stuff, be cautious. The vibe isn’t all lighthearted hilarity; there’s some serious angst and dark moments that will stick with you. That said, it’s balanced out by moments of humor, adorable awkwardness, and a dash of hope.
Overall, I was so surprised by how much I loved this. It’s fun, fierce, and, honestly, deeply human in all the right ways. Hollie Jackson’s narration just makes it an even better ride, so if you’re into stories that mix comedy, social critique, and badass characters, give this one a shot. Just keep some tissues nearby—you might cry a little, laugh a lot, and walk away with a new appreciation for flawed, fabulous heroines.

The story was phenomenal I absolutely adored it. The characters and their adventure were so fun. However. I just can not stand the voice chosen for the main character. It’s so grating.

Ok first of all the title absolutely slaps and paired with the stunning cover, is the whole reason that I picked this one up, but my god was this a wild ride.

I want to go into this saying that I didn’t hate this book, or love this book. This was just DEFINITELY not the book for me, but I am sure that there are some readers out that who will eat this up and love every single second of it (I just wasn’t one of those people, ok?)

The whole book has been super confusing and hard to understand from the word go, and I had no idea what was actually happening at any given moment. Don’t get me wrong, I love it when a book just jumps straight into all of the action and the drama, but there WAS LITERALLY NO BACKGROUND INFO, WE HAD NOTHING! We were just thrust into this without any context or info about any of the intricacies that are happening in the world, and just expected to know what was going on? Yeah, no.
I wholeheartedly think that this was my biggest gripe with the whole book, because it just gave everything the weirdest tone and was kind of giving me whiplash to listen to. I don’t need to be babied through a book to understand what is happening, but a little context and a little explanation at key moments goes a long way to making a confusing book something exciting to read.

I feel like there is loads of promise with this book, and it did remind me a lot of ‘Apprentice to the Villain’ but it really did seem like the author has just tried to cram as much in here as possible and it’s just left things feeling messy.
I really think that a lot of things could have been left out because of how weird and out of place they were, as well as a lot of ‘sassy’ comments from the characters could have been left out too because they were just thrown in at weird times to I guess remind the reader that this isn’t like other fantasy books?
Again, a shame because there was so much promise here, especially with some of the comments that the author was trying to make on society and misogyny (that again were just overshadowed by this forced quirkiness)

And a personal beef that I had with this was the narrator (but in hindsight it makes perfect sense and actually fits really well with the character). The narrator just made this whole book so INFURIATING to listen to. I know the female lead is meant to be a very flowery and feminine and over the top kind of character, but my god did she sound so annoying and breathy all the time, which was just grinding on me.

Objectively I can say this was a very clever book with some really great social commentary. Unfortunately in my case this just felt like a 900 page book, not 300-400. It dragged a lot for me and was almost too irreverent/quirky for my tastes. I imagine some people will really love this, but it was not for me.
I really like the narrators voice and inflection for the characters, but they also were very very slow. I cannot imagine anyone being able to listen to this at 1x speed. I was actually able to jump up to 3x and could still following along easily. (For reference I typically max out at 1.75). So this also might have factored in on why the story felt like it dragged. 14 hours is very long audiobook for a story of this length,
Overall, I really wanted to like this because I think they storyline could have been great, but it just wasn’t able to capture my attention.

What a WILD ride this book turned out to be. So much was happening that it has taken me a minute to compose my thoughts.

Let’s start on the positives. This book is so funny that it borders on ridiculous. Even during the darkest scenes of the book, Ysabel’s inner monologue has me cackling. And don’t get me started on the Dark Lord himself. Usually when you read a Romantasy about a dark lord, he’s not a sub and yet here we are. Man was BEGGING to be stepped on by the love of his life. Every character had so much personality and humor. This made the book such a treat.

Now for the not so positives. The book was entirely too long for what it was and the passing was off as well. So much so that I would sometimes get lost. Where I would think a logical end for the book would be, we would just keep going. Given that this is the first book by this author, I can forgive this. I think she has a great ability to adapt and tighten up whatever future book she writes.

Overall, this was a fun time and I am interested in seeing what comes next in this world.

Oh my stars! ✨📖 *A Holy Maiden's Guide to Getting Kidnapped* is a whimsical, daring dance through a world where magic, mischief, and forbidden desires collide! Ysabel, our radiant heroine, defies every rule—drinking, kissing, escaping her destined sacrifice—she's a fearless spark of rebellion in a sea of expectations. 💖🔥

Her shimmering gift of healing is both a blessing and a curse, and her fight to break free from the shadows cast by a corrupt church is nothing short of inspiring. When the dark and brooding Kaine crashes into her life, wounded and unwilling to accept her healing, a fiery chemistry ignites—think stolen glances, secret flirtations, and dangerous promises. 😘🖤

With her loyal Alzira by her side, Ysabel’s journey is a rollercoaster of heart-flutters, fierce protectiveness, and daring escapes. Will she choose the sacred path laid out for her or chase the wild, forbidden love that promises to set her free? 💃🌹

This book is a sassy, sensual ode to breaking rules and embracing your true self—packed with magic, mischief, and that irresistible pull of forbidden love. A must-read for anyone dreaming of a heroine who dares to rewrite her story! ✨💫💕

#FeminineFantasy #MagicAndMischief #BoldAndBeautiful

“If she’s using magic… Than she is angry!”

AHolyMaidensGuideToGettingKidnapped
by KatyNyquist is book one in the ScandalsOfTheGifted series, and is a 3 ⭐️ read.

This book had me laughing from the first chapter! When you come across a woman who is hiding her true self in plain sight, it brings for the best kind of comedy.

Hollie Jackson’s comedic timing was brilliant, and you can tell she had herself a lot of fun reading this book for us. If I was going to have anything to add that would be the Dominant side of Ysabel wasn’t as dark as I would have liked to hear. However, overall it was good listening!

Favourite Quote: “I exclusively like stepping on my lovers, not the other way around! Not that I would take John, if he delivered himself hog tide with a ball gag!”

Spicy Level - 🌶️🌶️

Note: Please read and review all trigger warnings before reading any recommended book. We love to read for our pleasure, so keep your mind, and emotions safe!

Audio Book Available
Publisher: Podium
Narrator: HollieJackson
Publication date: 17June2025

“A Holy Maiden should never drink, get kidnapped, nor kiss a Dark Lord, but Ysabel is breaking all the rules to escape her fate as a human sacrifice”

Ysabel is destined to be a human sacrifice. In a world of magical powers, she has the power of healing at the expense of a single day of her own life. The head cardinal abuses her gift and traps her in her city, until the Dark lord Kaine arrives at her clinic and is the first person to ever refuse her gift because of the cost to her.

•••

The representation in this book was next level; our FMC is a holy maiden (against her will) with a dominatrix kink and a neurological conditional, prosopagnosia (face blindness) that I’ve never heard of before and it was not just used as a plot device but just a factor she lives with. I learnt so much about this condition and it was really interesting to see the continuity of this through the book. We see so many different expressions of femininity and moments of feminism. There was also a great trans representation in one of the leading characters that didn’t fall into stereotyping.

The content was quite heavy with numerous mentions of rape and pedophilia and the oppression of women, but was delivered in a jovial, camp tone of voice.

Nyquist has so many incredible ideas that I wish were teased out and put into its own book.

Thankyou netgalley and Victory editing for this audio ARC

What a wild, witty ride! A Holy Maiden's Guide to Getting Kidnapped delivers sharp world-building, smart twists, and a heroine who's all brains and boldness. She's not just strong and resourceful, she's strategic in a way that feels genuinely refreshing. I need book two immediately.

Hollie Jacson was an amazing narrator!

Thank you NetGalley and Podium Publishing for the chance to listen to this title in exchange for my opinion.

3.5 stars
I liked the idea of the special magic being "gifts" and how it came with restrictions. I loved the diversity and the themes the book discusses. But the book felt slow and so long and the parts that could've been turning points felt rushed.

I read this as an audiobook and the narration was excellent! The different accents and intonation were perfect and was able to differentiate each character.

Thank you NetGalley and Podium for this ALC