I was really very excited to read The Taste of Blue Light by Lydia Ruffles, especially as I have a mild version of synathaesia myself.  However, despite trying several times to read this book I just couldn't find my feet with it.

Really interesting take memory loss and trauma, Initially, Was surprised to learn this was a debut. Lux's has such a distinct voice and dialogue was natural.

I wasn't a big fan of the protagonist and the plot didn't work very well for me either. I would try it out if you're interested, but it wasn't for me.

This was a fantastic example of young adult contemporary fiction. It offers a nuanced and thought-provoking exploration of mental health issues, in particular, PTSD. Lux is a difficult character to connect with at times but her complexity just makes her all the more realistic and memorable. The writing style is phenomenal and kept me engaged from beginning to end. I would highly recommend this.

This is an extraordinary novel which I just couldn't put down. It's beautifully written, harrowing and mesmerising. One of the strongest publications of 2017 and I'm really excited to read Lydia's next book.

The Taste of Blue Light is a book I’ve had for a while, but recently picked up when a friend demanded I read it immediately. Not one to ignore such a request, I started it and I was not disappointed.

Our introduction to Lux Langley and her school – a school for children gifted in the arts, with not much of a nod to discipline – seems to deliberately set her up as somewhat unlikeable. I’m not sure whether I felt this more acutely because I am well above the target audience for this book, or whether it was a ploy to just make us think ‘well, if she just drank too much and blacked out it’s her own fault’, but that very thought was articulated by one of her classmates later on in the book so maybe that was the author’s intention all along.

I won’t even begin to imagine what it feels like to have missing hours or days in your life, but Lydia Ruffles does a great job in trying to convey that, the sense of something missing and the pressure to try and remember and she also gives an enlightening look at how the world looks different for someone with synaesthesia, where the stimulation of one of the senses can create a reaction in another – hence the title of the book.

I think what I liked most about this book was that, although the blurb indicated that finding out what happened to Lux was the crux of the book, the reveal (wow, by the way) happened in the middle, leaving a lot of time for Lux and her friends and family deal with the aftermath. This provided a better resolution for me than simply finding out at the end and wondering what went on after I’d closed the book. It was very well done.

After reading The Taste of Blue Light I added Lydia Ruffles’ new book (Colour Me In) to my reading list as, if it’s anything like this, it’s sure to be a cracker!

The Taste of Blue Light is published by Hodder Children’s Books. You can find out more about Lydia Ruffles and connect with her on Twitter.

Lux thinks her life is great. Parties and freedom for creative souls like hers. Her friendships will last forever and she'll always be carefree. However, when she wakes up in hospital after a party and can't remember how she got there, things take a different turn. Her parents, doctors and therapists keep asking her what happened and she just can't find the answers.
After the accident, nothing much happens for about half the book. I was interested and really wanted to find out what had happened, but it mostly felt like filler, waiting for a revelation that would explain everything.

Having finished the book, it has left me with a complicated mess of feelings.

On the one hand I thoroughly enjoyed it; the lyrical writing with the pages teeming with metaphors made the main character Lux seem larger than life and I feel that this extensive use of imagery was successfully used in conveying Lux’s artistic mindset. However on the other hand while in the beginning and middle the plot was quite strong (I was invested in figuring out what had happened to Lux to so drastically affect her), I felt that the story lost momentum in the last part of the book, which is not what I was expecting or hoping for considering the fast pace in the first half of the book. At times I found myself thinking that actually the book could’ve ended a good 70 pages sooner than it did as the main plot was wrapped up quite early on in relation to how long the book is. Due to this the ‘part two’ in particular seemed almost pointless.

Another thing that did annoy me at times was that by using so much metaphor it did make it hard to figure out what was happening in certain scenes, although I can appreciate this may have been what the author intended as most of the story had a hazy and dreamlike quality to it.

I will say that I did like this book a lot though despite any faults and I felt that I connected with the whole setting and characters at Richdeane. Lydia Ruffles’ writing style is certainly matched well with this kind of story and I’m interested to see what she comes out with next.

Overall I enjoyed the artistic style of the book and the writing was a high point for me however the ending did leave me feeling unsatisfied and almost wishing it had ended when everything had come to a head, once Lux discovers what happened to her, as I feel that would’ve left more of an impact.

Received for free through Goodreads First Reads.

POPSUGAR Reading Challenge: prompt #16, a book about mental health.

'I’m not sad. That’s too small. A tiny word.'

I read the The Taste of Blue Light and it felt like stepping inside my own head as I read Lux’s stream-of-consciousness narrative. Although my experience with mental illness is vastly different in circumstance to Lux’s, the building blocks of it were there; the feeling of not knowing how it happened, not being able to trust your mind, feeling trapped and suffering with no idea why, no reason that you can fathom when you know that your life is good. I think Ruffles has created an incredibly important novel regarding mental health and how (although Lux’s is the result of a trauma) it can sometimes go wrong with no reason. 

'I knew nobody had ever felt how we did. If they had, they never would have grown up. They’d have kept writing, painting, flying like Peter Pan, scared to land in case touching their feet to the ground ruptured the magic, making them old and scared and slow.'

I loved how Lux recognised her own privilege and struggled to accept her mental health because she couldn’t see a reason for it. After blacking out and waking up in hospital she knows something has happened to her, she can’t remember and can’t understand how a night out gone too far has left her with crippling migraines and anxiety – she is white, she is wealthy, she is at a prestigious art school for those not suited to ‘normal’ academia, so why should she be suffering in any way? And I feel that so hard. There is not always a reason and I think it is so important for that to be explored, as well as showing that people suffering from mental illness can be extremely difficult to be around. Even when she was unaware of what happened to her, Lux’s feelings were still valid – mental illness does not discriminate, it does not care what your circumstances are or who you are.

'It doesn’t always help to know that you are privileged. To know it and fail to feel it means you are even more broken.'

For me, this novel was an incredibly realistic portrayal of mental illness and the long, slow, and hard road to recovery – learning to live again in a way that works, in a way that is no longer the same is so difficult, and Lux stumbles a lot as she tries to put her self back together. She is in no way perfect, and although she has the luxury of loving, wealthy parents who can provide her a home, she still has to overcome what happened to her, especially when she remembers what happened on the night she blacked out. 

'The story is full of me, gifts and shrapnel, smudges and shadows, starting to reveal themselves.'

Review sent for another edition. A captivating story. 
Though Lux is not the most likeable of characters, you can’t help but feel intrigued by her story.

I met the author at YALC (she is fab) and she kindly donated a copy of the book to the library I work in, and I also received a copy on Net Galley for review: 

So this book introduces us to Lux, a student at a boarding school for artists (I loved this concept.) Lux is finishing her final year after waking up in hospital not able to remember what got her there. Much of the book is figuring out why she is now struggling, touching on mental health issues. 

I really enjoyed this book and the reason Lux ended up in hospital was not what I had expected, and made you think about the aftermath of such an experience. But I think once I knew what had happened, the concluding chapters did not grab me as much as the rest of the book did unfortunately.

However overall I would recommend this book, and especially enjoyed the art school setting and the topics it tackled.

I honestly don't know what to say about this book. Lux has no memories of a traumatic event that happened over the summer, and goes back to her arts school with hazy dreams full of the colour red and a scar running down her arm. I really enjoyed the writing style of the book, as it is similarly hazy. This worked especially well because the reveal of what happened to Lux isn't revealed until very near the end of the novel. However, the reveal is a little bit out of the blue, and strains reality.

This is a very rare and fabulous read.

Lux has no memories of one Summer and this tells her story brilliantly. She has a really hard time trying to remember but with nightmares and her emotional struggle it's very difficult for her.

This book is one that is written so fabulously and the plot is amazing, I genuinely didn't see it coming. 

I was at times as confused as Lux, but that was a good thing as I felt I was moving along with her, rather than wanting the reveal too soon 

highly recommended

My favourite thing about this was the writing style - it was so beautifully crafted whilst also being very easy to read. It's the exact sort of writing that grips me in and makes me want to keep on reading. The 'reveal' element of the story was also unexpected and it tackled a topic that I'd never seen represented in YA before so in that aspect it was very thought provoking. 
Whilst I did enjoy this book on the whole, the reason I didn't rate it higher is because I wasn't overly invested in any of the characters, and in particular in the relationship. I also kind of wish the boarding school setting had been used even more than it was. 
Overall, I'd rate the book 3.5/5 stars and I'd definitely like to read more from the author in the future - as I said her writing style was wonderful!

Something has happened to Lux. Something traumatic that leaves here with migraines and a scar on her arm but she can't remember what it is. Back in her elite art school, she battles with her demons in the hope that it will help her find herself again. Poetic language and an overwhelming darkness, you won't expect the ending.

This was a really interesting book that went in a lot of unexpected directions. I wasn't sure how it would go at first, but I quickly really came to like the characters and the school was so interesting and creative. While the school probably wouldn't work in real life, it was really cool to imagine. It also had this cult-like undertone that gave a good in-joke type vibe. 

The trauma that Lux showed was really intense. I loved how they gave such little pieces of information at a time. I couldn't possibly have guessed what really happened. 

In all though, it's hard to say much without giving too much away, but I just loved the atmosphere of the book and the secrets and lies involved in the mystery. 

Definitely a good book about trauma.

I don’t even have the words to describe this book. It started off promising; Lux, the main character, suffers from amnesia after a traumatic event. 

Lux is probably the hardest character to connect with. She treats her friends and family awfully, nothing she does makes sense and the trauma that occurs doesn’t even fit with the book. As a heavy partier, hard drinker and recreational drug user, you’d expect the twist to be something along the lines of what happened at a party, but the trauma is completely removed from everything in the novel, and it comes straight out of the blue. I just don’t think that this book made much sense.

And Richdeane, being set in the UK, just wouldn’t work. They literally just teach art. Even at the most artistic of secondary schools, they still have to be taught English and Maths. None of this book made sense.

The Taste of Blue Light by Lydia Ruffles completely bowled me over. There were times when I really struggled with it, times when I wanted to give up, but I am so glad I stuck with it, because it's incredible!

Lux is unravelling. Over the Summer, she went to a party, and then blacked out, waking up in hospital. She doesn't remember why she blacked out, she doesn't remember waking up in hospital. But she knows she's different now. Suffering from intense migraines, terrifying nightmares in red, synaesthesia - where the senses overlap, hence the title, and obsessive episodes. All she knows is she wants to get back to who she was before. There's nothing physically wrong with her, and all her doctors and her therapist think she will start to get better if she just remembers what happened. But she has to. If she doesn't start to get better soon, she'll be taken away from everything she loves, her friends and her life at Richdeane, an elitist art school. But those are not the only things she risks losing, as with every moment, she loses more of herself.

I really struggled with this book at first. The way it was written just left me completely confused, in that I didn't know what was happening. The first chapter starts with Lux remembering a party at the beginning of the Summer, weeks before her blackout, and it was just baffling. Not the party itself, but Lux's thoughts. The way she worded her thoughts was just completely bizarre to me. I thought The Taste of Blue Light was going to be one of those arty books you had to be super intelligent to understand, because I was completely lost. Several times, I thought about giving up, because I just lost, but the story itself was so intriguing. I'm so glad I stuck with it, because I kind of got used to the strangeness, and came to realise it's not the writer being arty, it's how Lux is now, as she loses herself.

It was heartbreaking being with Lux as she tries to figure things out, but gets worse and worse. She'll have obsessive, compulsive thoughts - but not how we would generally think of OCD. For example, at one point where she's certain someone or something is after her, that it's in the woods, but she gets it into her head that she has to face whatever it is instead of hide, and so runs into the woods - and runs and runs, terrified, but also certain she will find whatever she's felt that's after her, and once she faces it, she'll get better - and gets herself lost, and doesn't remember afterwards exactly why she was running in the woods in the first place. Or her desperation to connect with former Richdeane student, actor and singer Jade Grace, with this overwhelming feeling that they are the same, and if only Jade Grace would respond to her incessant, obsessive, almost stalker-like emails, she would start to get better. As the story goes on, she just seems to lose her mind a little more, and I was so engrossed in the story, I felt like I was unravelling right along with her. I'd put my book down at the end of my lunch break and go back to work and just feel really strange, because I have to shelve books, but I was just running in the woods with Lux, it was just such an odd feeling. And it was so hard, so unbelievably upsetting, to see Lux slip away when she tries so hard to hold on. She is just so unwell, and she doesn't know how to make herself get better, and her therapist just keeps on at her to remember. She is struggling, drowning and not knowing which way is up, and it's just heartbreaking.

And then she remembers. It was a punch to the gut, reading about what caused her to black out. It was emotional, and it hurt. It was so upsetting, because this book is just so, so timely. It's horrific, and you come to completely understand why her mind would want to protect her from this, and why she would unravel, even thought she couldn't remember. I just got it. I've never experienced what Lux did, but we all have experience of reacting to such events when we hear about them, and with my anxiety, I have felt like I was hanging on by just a thread, and I've not even lived it. So for Lux to have reacted to what she went through the way she did, it was just so completely understandable, and I just wanted to give her the biggest hug. I just wanted to hold her and cry with her. Even now, I'm writing with tears in my eyes, because it just affected me so much.

I'm not the biggest fan of the ending, though. I understood why we had the ending, the purpose of the ending, but at the same time, I didn't really enjoy it. I think I would have preferred the book to have finished around 30% earlier. Those last few chapters just felt unnecessary to me, simply because of the time scale. I just thought it wasn't very interesting; I know I don't like books that have the climax, and then end abruptly, but for me, this felt like it was dragged out a bit two much. I don't think Part Two was necessary as it was. It just didn't work for me, but I can see other people enjoying it.

This book is absolutely incredible. It's not the easiest of reads, but it's such an important one. It's upsetting, but it's powerful and moving, and really, just a triumph. Such a wonderful debut novel.

Thank you to Hodder Children's Books via NetGalley for the eProof.

I don't often say this, but this book was a real effort to get through. I didn't really warm to any of the characters, some were too sketchy, others were way too self-possessed and self-obsessed for my liking. The plot was quite good, but the book as a whole was overly long and drawn-out - I felt it could have been much more succinct.

Thanks to the publishers and NetGalley for allowing me to read this in return for my honest review.

I loved the authenticity of Lux's voice right from the off - that starry-eyed arrogance of privileged youth and the giddy restlessness of as-yet-unknown potential. Anyone who was ever a teenager remembers that feeling and Ruffles recreates that feeling beautifully well. As the story turns darker, the mystery is truly compelling and had me flipping through the pages ravenously, immersed in the wittily drawn world of Richdeane. The book cleverly touches on important questions about the value of art, while gently poking fun at it as well, and there were some wry, laugh-out-loud moments to be found as Lux navigates the politics of being a young woman. The vivid language of her synesthesia elevates the story beyond 'just' YA. A lovely read.