Cover Image: My Mother, the Psychopath

My Mother, the Psychopath

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Member Reviews

This is a really well written account of growing up with an abusive mother who also happens to be a psychopath. Although well-written, this wasn't what I expected: it was more along the lines of 'A Child Called It' - a very heart-wrenching account of an abusive childhood in the "misery lit" genre

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My Mother the Psychopath: Growing Up In The Shadow of A Monster by Olivia Rayne is a true story focusing on the dynamics of an innocent girl growing up with a psychopathic mother. This is a gripping story, reading like fiction so I found myself forgetting that it was real. Remembering that made it so much more authentic and intriguing, making this a very good book which will hook you the whole way through.

The story
Olivia Rayne tells the true story of her childhood, growing up with a psychopathic mother, Josephine. It is told from Olivia as child, with anecdotes from her toddler years right through to adulthood, when Olivia finally managed to break free of her holds. Each anecdote represents another trait of psychopathy, painting the overall picture of Josephine being a full-blown, high functioning psychopath.
Why I enjoyed this book...
My Mother the Psychopath by Olivia Rayne is great because it is such a personal story and you can feel the raw emotions behind the words and actions described. Olivia is a person I feel full sympathy for, not because I can understand, but because she makes me understand what it could be like to be in a situation like this. The reality of this book could really help others who are caught in a psychopath's web, whether a family member, friend or partner and will hopefully help people to identify and avoid them generally.
Rayne's honesty about how her mother made her feel makes this book so intriguing, as she does not try and cover just how terrible psychopaths can make you feel. Her admittance of self-blame throughout the years is striking and the contrast to her personality around other people is stark. I will say that I didn't understand why she never searched the behaviour online; it surprised me because she knew her mother's behaviour was not normal but never Googled it, just brushing it off as her being crazy. I also thought that there were a couple of instances where the anecdotes blended, as they escalated, so could have been written in shorter sections. This made the novel a bit longer that it had to be.
Overall, I mostly enjoyed My Mother the Psychopath by Olivia Rayne because it is a well-written piece of non-fiction which had me on the edge of my seat. I wanted to know how Olivia would escape, where she would go and who she would become without her mother and I was not disappointed. Thank you NetGalley and Ebury for my e-proof copy of My Mother the Pscyhopath by Olivia Rayne in exchange for an honest review.

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This book is fascinating - and also chilling. The way that she's able to articulate the feelings she experienced and the way her mother behaved.... not gonna forget this one!

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A valuable insight into psychopathy and doubtless a painful account to recall. I'm sure that others will relate to, and take comfort from, this book. Gratitude to the author for giving us a glimpse into a world often concealed from public view.

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A poignant and well written recount of Olivia Rayne who grew up in the shadow of a monster...her own Mother.
The pschological and physical damage her mother inflicted on her over the years is unbelievable. A manipulative and evil woman who tried to charm anyone around to help her continue her hold and control over Olivia.
How anyone can treat their child in this way beggars belief. It was very sad to read and enraged me throughout. Her mother was such a vile person, even when she was nice you knew Olivia would pay for it later.
I hope Olivia continues being strong and enjoys her freedom x

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My Mother, the Psychopath by Olivia Rayne. I don't usually read "Memoir’ genre but I'm so glad I did.
It was a brilliant read and the best book I have read this year so far!

This is a True Story of Olivia Rayne and her Psychopathic mother Josephine. Olivia is only daughter of a French mother and British father, they don't live in one place for long. Josephine appears to be completely normal and a loving mother to Olivia to the outside world but behind closed doors she displays all the signs of being a psychopath – unbeknown to her daughter until her adulthood.
Olivia grew up feeling scared, worthless and exploited.

This is a great gripping read and so painful to read, this reminded me of someone was very dear to me........and finally got the courage to live my life without them!

I Highly Recommend this book! Brilliant book xxx

Thank you to Penguin Random House UK and Olivia Rayne for this ARC in return for an honest review.

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A brutally honest and heartbreaking account of the authors life as a young girl. Olivia grew up knowing that her mother wasn’t like any other, a difficult childhood living with a woman who was cruel and manipulative. A beautifully written memoir that reads like a well structured psychological thriller.

When reading such a painful account of someone’s life it’s hard to use the word enjoyed when describing how I felt about the book, I truly appreciated this book and the awareness that the author was putting across by sharing her story.

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I'll prefix this by saying that I have a close family member who is without a shadow of a doubt a sociopath and possibly a psychopath too. This person made my life a misery when I was younger and still tries to now. Now that I have a thicker skin I react in the way I know makes this person angry - by laughing at his insults and abuse then walking away. I also made the promise to myself many moons ago that I would make absolutely sure I never grew up to be like him. The total lack of empathy for others, the malicious intent, anger and that facade which makes the individual seem normal to the outside world are not traits I have thankfully. He's racist, homophobic and an all-around nasty piece of work; I am an equality campaigner who loves everybody, and friends and family would probably go so far as to say I am overly empathetic, but I am super-duper fine with that. I have some horrific memories, but I am all the stronger for them; living with a narcissist/sociopath/psychopath is not a pleasant experience, and there's a reason they're known as hoovers - they try to suck the life out of those around them in order to boost their own self-esteem.

As the traits of sociopaths and psychopaths somewhat overlap I recognise many of the behaviours Olivia experienced at the hands of her mother, and because of that this was a dark, disturbing and emotionally challenging read for me but it also gives us reason to be hopeful and tips on how to counteract the abuse. The description of being one thing in public and another in private I certainly recognised - the person in my life runs up the backsides of non-family but treats those who should come first like dirt. Make no mistake this is a hard-hitting emotive read; I think it hit me much harder because I could relate to Olivia and many of her experiences, unfortunately.

I have never heard this person apologise for what he's done even when it was 100% him in the wrong, and he has no interest in what is happening with anyone else, just himself. He's selfish through and through and one of the coldest people you'll ever meet. It's crazy that he worries more about how outsiders perceive him than he does about what his closest family think. One thing I think is very important to mention if you are living a nightmare with one of these types - do not show them that they have upset you. Why? Because in my experience they love that; they get a kick out of it; they feed off what they see as weakness. They spend a lot of time working out the best way to upset you e.g. if you've confided to family that you have a self-image issue they'll likely use that to hurt you.

It's normal to think that you are the only one living with such a monster, but in reality, there are more of them around than you think. This is a truly heartbreaking, eye-opening memoir, and although it is truly terrifying it is written in an eminently readable style. I now spend time campaigning to lessen the stigma of mental health as I realise that the mental abuse I suffered every day is happening to others. I have deep admiration for Ms Rayne for sharing her story and being a strong, courageous fighter against the manipulative evil she grew up with. I'm sad to say I connected with this so much that I found myself tearful as I relived some of the memories the book brought to the forefront of my mind. Oh, and the information about cutting ties with such people is absolutely sound - there is no hope of reconciliation so run as far away from these people as possible - for your own sanity. Like Olivia, I am a survivor and not a victim.

NB. This is my most personal review to date by a long shot, but I want to add that it wasn't written for sympathy, as I know some people love to play the victim, and I feel more than a little exposed by sharing this information, but I feel that it's another step in the right direction for me in coming to terms with everything. I usually keep these sort of things to myself, and as I'm pretty introverted I try to keep the glare of the spotlight away from myself at all times. I don't understand those who crave attention. I'm the girl who is quiet as a mouse unless I need to defend myself; it's then when I turn into a tigress.

Many thanks to Ebury Press for an ARC.

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I read this book in one sitting, I couldn't put it down. I was overwhelmed by sadness reading Olivia's story. It made me realise how lucky I was having a good childhood, a special bond and love I had with my mum.. Olivia certainly didn't have that, she must have felt sad and lonely throughout her childhood and my heart breaks thinking about her.

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I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Olivia talks about her life with her mother, who is a psychopath.

Each chapter lists a typical psychopathic trait and connects those traits to Olivia's memories.
Her story broke my heart. I just had to take a break after each chapter. It's one thing to read about psychopaths or see a report. But if the child of such a person describes the common life with named person, then it is something completely different.

The most intriguing scene for me was right at the beginning, when sick Olivia is looked at by her mother. She signaled with her voice concern, but this feeling simply did not reach her face. I got a shiver and this scene still causes tears just tinking back.

I can recommend this book to anyone, if only to develop a sense of their own how to observe other people, e.g. Olivia's grandmother or Amelia, who quickly noticed something is wrong with Olivia's mother.

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⭐️⭐️⭐️ Stars

This was an easy to read book describing the author’s difficult childhood with a psychopathic mother. The subject matter wasn’t easy of course but the writing style was very simple and easy to follow.

It’s a very descriptive book and didn’t quite hold my attention as it has with others.

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Stories like Olivia Rayne’s are heartbreaking but sadly, not isolated instances. Everyone knows there are horrible parents around the world, but we rarely get an insight into just how awful living with a manipulative parent can be.

Olivia Rayne’s story is gutwrenching and terrifying. Growing up with a mother who is cold and distant sounds hard enough, but dealing with a mother who constantly reels you back in only to knock your self-esteem once again is torturous.

My mother, the Psychopath is a brilliant read. I found myself not wanting to put this book down!. The writing style is easy to read and I personally loved the inclusion of psychopathic symptoms at each chapter. It really shaped the direction of the novel and highlighted the traits Olivia Rayne’s mother showed in each section.

I’d recommend this to anyone who can stomach reading difficult stories. I think books like this are important as it reminds us that people like Olivia Rayne are more than just case studies, she represents the voice that so many suffering children do not have. As someone aiming to become a social worker, I only hope that one day I can prevent children from suffering at the hands of people like Olivia’s mother.

I’d like to thank the author and Netgalley for the eARC copy in exchange for an honest review.

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This was a brilliantly written and straight forward piece of writing.
It has taken what is a horrific upbringing and wrote it with heart and sense.
I loved that the ‘writing duo’ were friends and both experienced some of of the dreadful actions.
This was a great book about a wonderfully resilient woman.

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I don’t typically go for the ‘misery memoir’ genre of reading because quite frankly I find much of the books that proliferated at the peak of its popularity grim, unrelenting and almost voyeuristic. However when the contents move away from a catalogue of actions to something more thoughtful, an exploration of a person, well I find that fascinating.
Olivia Rayne always knew as she was growing up that other mothers didn’t behave like hers but it was probably more of a slow realisation to making the leap to giving her the diagnosis of a psychopath. This term is thrown about with a fair degree of abandon these days, thanks in part to the popularity of Jon Ronson’s The Psychopath Test which educated the population that not all psychopaths are serial killers, in fact the vast majority move among us.
Mothering though is generally accepted to require all the good skills, protecting, nurturing, and caring which don’t square with what comes naturally to the psychopath. This of course means any child born to such a parent, and you could argue particularly if it is the mother who is wired in this way, is going to suffer to some degree. Coupled as these people often are to weak and ineffectual partners and the result is disaster.
Rayne heads up each chapter to her memoir with a description of one of the 20 accepted psychopathic traits and then follows it with an example of her life with her mother. Some of these events took place when Olivia was a small child, some more recently but many show that the face presented to the world was far from that which she used to scare and humiliate her daughter away from the public gaze. Of course this methodology also allows the reader to make a judgement on the truth of what we are being told in a way that a list of awful events is less likely to have the same impact on the reader.
The book is also testament to that movement that I am desperately hoping will gather pace. Olivia isn’t using what happened to her in childhood as a reason for behaving like a victim. She’s hidden her identity in part so that she can continue working amongst her peers without the prurient details defining her for ever more. Most fascinating of all was the discovery that Olivia had broken ranks on the silence of her childhood a couple of years ago when she submitted an article about her mother to an online paper. The reaction was in line with that which had occurred when she initially broke off contact, a ceaseless barrage of emails in turns abusive and appealing, not just to Olivia herself but to her boss, colleagues and friends.
With a definite feeling that this book is both putting the past behind her and reaching out to others who are in this little studied relationship and giving a feeling of hope for a different type of life. For that you can only applaud this brave author.
I’d like to say a big thank you to Ebury Press who allowed me to read a copy of My Mother the Psychopath. This unbiased review is my thanks to them.

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This book was such a heart breaking and eye opening read, I was drawn into the book straight away.

Highly recommended read.

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It is ingrained in us to trust our parents and some would say, our mothers especially. So what is one supposed to do when that person is the one person in the world that frightens you the most. Olivia Rayne grew up in a world where she was treated cruelly, abused and humiliated by her mother behind closed doors, but to everyone else, her mother was charming, funny and loving. It wasn’t until adulthood that Olivia realised that this behaviour was not normal or acceptable and attempted to cut ties with her Psychopathic mother. Except it wasn’t as easy as just walking away as her mother kept her claws in right through to Olivia’s early twenties and used new and frightening ways to keep complete control over her daughter. Now that Olivia has come to terms with her upbringing and her past, she has shared her experiences with the world through this book.

Wow, wow, wow. I don’t know where to start with this. Before I picked this book up, I knew it was going to make me emotional and it did just that. It made me angry, deeply sad, it shocked me and finally it made me feel such pride in Olivia. The fact that she has been through everything that she has been through (I’ll let you read to find out) and has been able to move on and find her own way in the world as well as be brave enough to share all of that in this book is astounding.

As this is a true telling, I don’t feel quite right talking about the “characters”. These are real people with real issues, but I do have to touch on some of the things on my mind. Firstly, the father. My oh my the father. How spineless can a man be seriously? I can’t decide if it was his love for the mother, his selfishness or just simple cowardice that allowed him completely abandon his duty to protect his child. For me, that was something that stuck with me throughout and something that I just kept coming back to. Secondly, Olivia’s friends and colleagues in her new life. What absolute angels! I can imagine that if someone was to share a story like Olivia’s with you it would be incredibly hard to digest yet all of these people around her completely supported her, understood and helped her to maintain her new life. The world needs more people like you guys.

Olivia Rayne, you are an amazing woman to have endured so much over so many years of your life but to have gained back your self confidence and taken control of your own life. I can’t imagine the internal fights you must have been through over the years, wanting to break away from a mother who is so very cruel, but whom you love so much. The fact that you found the strength to put yourself and your own life first is inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story with the world.

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My Mother the Psychopath- Olivia Rayne-
A brave book, an interesting read. One many people should read to know about others. When you hear “the truth is stranger than fiction” read on…..Where do I begin...This is a difficult one to write. Not because of the book but because there are many people who perhaps don’t quite realise to what extent that not all mothers are caring and loving and may not want to know about how others have suffered, not that they are naive, these things just don’t come to light until something really bad happens. We hear of “psychopathic” killers, do we ever consider that they are also perhaps parents? They don’t have to be a murderer to be this way and inflict torture on others and make their lives a misery, a living nightmare. Oh heck, misery doesn’t even begin to cover it. Olivia gives her life story. Each chapter is fronted by a little more about the traits of psychopaths and how her mother demonstrated this particular trait as Olivia grows up. Josephine does occasionally show kindness and shower gifts on Olivia- other psychopaths can be even more narcissistic and not show kindness at all- other than to the rest of the world who thinks they are wonderful and entertaining. They only think about how the world sees them and how others think of them. “They are excellent conversationalists, able to tell the most plausible stories in a powerful and authentic way” . Olivia realises early on that there is something not right about Josephine and begins to spot the signs when she is about “to turn”. Her Father appears powerless and does his best but is ruled and overruled by a much stronger character. A story of a child who early on realises something is amiss. For many this may not happen until well into adulthood with all of the consequences that may entail. I salute you Olivia not only for writing this, but for being able to let go.
For more reviews please see my blog http://nickibookblog.blogspot.co.uk/
or follow me on Twitter @nickijmurphy1
Amazon Top 1000 reviewer.

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This is a truly heartbreaking story. I felt so sorry for Olivia with the way she wasbei g treated by her mother- her lack of a mother daughter loving relationship.
It was a heartbreaking story. This book is certainly well written and was raw in places.
Highly recommended
Thank you to both NetGalley and Penguin Random House UK for my eARC of this book in exchange for my honest unbiased opinion.

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They say "truth is stranger than fiction" and boy, oh, boy reading this incredibly raw and brutal account of Olivia's relationship with her psychopathic mother made my skin crawl and my blood boil.

This is Olivia Rayne's TRUE story of living with a psychopathic parent.  The only daughter of a French mother and British father, Olivia grew up under the cruel and often humiliating control of her Mother (Maman), whilst her weak and, in my opinion, spineless father just looked on helplessly.  This book doesn't read like a memoir, it reads like one of the worst psychological thrillers/domestic noir books I've read and the fact that it is all true makes it so much more moving and sad.

It's a difficult book to review because I found it utterly compulsive reading, gripping, tense and at times painful to read, but the fact that this is someone's actual LIFE that I am reading made my "enjoyment" tainted.  I'm not naive enough to think everyone has a rosy childhood full of love, compassion and support, however I hope that now Olivia has finally written her story and shared her traumatic past, she finds unconditional love and happiness.

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I read this book in a couple of sittings, my heart aching for Olivia. A well written, pertubing account...that i found quite difficult to read in places. As an only child, desperate to please her mother, this is the brave, courageous story of a strong fighter. 5 stars

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