I wanted to like this book so much.

The way that it deals with mental health - but the kind of mental health you don't read about so much in YA - was so good. It tries to normalise the taking of antidepressants, it deals with memory blackouts, hallucinations, paranoia, anxiety, panic attacks, psychosis. It's never judgy about any mental health issues, it compares a 'broken mind' to a broken leg in that every part of us can need help. 

I just couldn't connect with it. I didn't find Neena relateable at all, and not all characters have to be of course, but there was nothing drawing me to her. There were a lot of parts of the storyline that felt very generic - strict Pakistani parents, old best friends jealous of new best friends, a boy who can save everything. 

And while I do think the mental health aspect of this book is great, it wasn't enough to make me like this book. It was all just very... meh to me. I don't feel anything great towards it or against it. There were large parts where Neena's mental health was particularly bad that I had real trouble actually following the book. And while I can appreciate that was done deliberately to show how chaotic it was inside her mind, and how confused she was, it was very disjointed and didn't flow as a novel. 

So, while I can understand the hype around it, I didn't connect with this book and it just wasn't for me. 3 stars.

Neena Gill has always been good. She does well in school, she has parent-approved friends, she has never had a boyfriend, and she does what she is told. However, since her brother Akash has gone, she is slowly unraveling. She has different friends, she is breaking her parent’s rules, and she has a boyfriend. She feel free, but she is heading down a dangerous path. As she becomes more impulsive and as her behaviour spirals out of control, her parents drop some life changing new on her and finally, everything becomes too much for her and she finally reaches breaking point.

trigger warnings: depression, anxiety, alcohol abuse, drug use, psychosis, suicide.

The Million Pieces of Neena Gill is a powerful, poignant, and important book about grief, depression, and anxiety and Emma Smith-Barton deals with the topic of mental health – specifically anxiety, depression, and psychosis – with great care and sensitivity. It was also really great to see this type of representation featuring a character of colour too as Neena is British Pakistani.

Neena was a brilliantly complex and engaging character and I really loved watching her story progress and how she overcame her struggles and I loved the support she got from the loved ones around her. Through Neena, we saw her determination to find out of what happened to her brother and the love she had for him. It was interesting to watch Neena struggle to cope with the different expectations people had of her and how different people expected her to act. Expectations from her parents, her old friend, and her new friend, and then her boyfriend. She was pulled in so many different directions, it was no surprise that she really struggled to cope.

I really loved the family dynamics is this one too. Families are complicated things and I really loved the complicated relationship Neena had with her family. After Akash, they got even stricter with Neena as it was their way to cope and to try and protect their last child, yet for Neena is was overwhelming and restricting.

The Million Pieces of Neena Gill is an incredible important & relevant book about mental health, featuring a South Asian protagonist – a much needed book in UKYA.

What a hauntingly beautiful book.

A wonderful change to see a British Pakistani represented character in a book, we follow Neena coping with the disappearance of her brother, coping the only way she knows, much to the disappointment and beliefs of her strict parents.

A moving story that shows the spiral of mental illness through the eyes of the person themselves, which makes it difficult to read as it can sometimes show that the narrator is unreliable, but oh my goodness I loved her.

Grab this one, I think it is going to sky rocket!!

A brilliant book about growing pains and grief.

I have to be honest, I don't read YA books unless you count the countless Judy Blume books I read during my own coming-of-age a thousand incarnations ago. But this book was a brilliant baptism into a genre that I could truly grow to love.

Neena Gill lives with her strict, religious, conservative Pakistani parents and one night, her older, beloved brother, Akasha simply vanishes without a trace after a party. The book deals with the different ways in which people experience and cope with (or don’t cope with) extraordinary losses. Neena’s character is full and rich, sometimes child-like even for a 15-year-old, and we traverse her journey through her loss, her confusion and her guilt as she tries to make sense of someone she loves dearly simply not being there anymore.

This book gives depth to issues such as depression in all its forms as well as other mental health issues such as anxiety, suicidality and psychosis. The de-stigmatisation of mental health issues is a topic I am very passionate about – especially in adolescents – so I was moved by how the author navigated these issues; all very subtly and delicately written. The effect of mental illness was, perhaps, better addressed in this book than in some books I have read aimed at an adult audience.

The writing is accessible and flows beautifully. I read this book in a few days. There are moments of desperation and gut-wrenching sadness. I admit to shedding a few tears and having a lump in my throat at times. But it is also a story of how young people are forced to grapple with two disparate worlds: the one they grew up in where their parents dictate the status quo and the one they are striving to make their own reality, their independence. This conflict fuels much of the story. 

There is even a softer, sweeter love story that took me back to my days as a teen, crushing hard and awkwardly on a boy. It is very bitter-sweet and poignant and also displays Neena’s growing defiance as she makes choices in her romantic relationship that could jeopardise her future plans. 

This book provides accurate, I believe, insight into the multi-faceted, fragile mind of a teen who is slowly losing hers. 

I highly recommend this book and I do believe I am unashamedly a YA convert now. 


Desiree-Anne Martin


Breakaway Reviewers received a copy of the book to review.

Smith-Barton has crafted an incredible story to raise awareness of mental health issues in young adults and older readers.  

After the disappearance of her brother, and the growing constraints placed upon her by her family, Neena starts to become more and more worried and paranoid.  Where is her brother?  Are her family and friends, even teachers out to get her?

Until one night, Neena realises that she needs to be pieced back together, all the millions part of her.  

A very important book for YA and adult readers alike.

A powerful read full of representation, deals with issues of loss and mental health so well and thoughtfully, a real thought provoking story. This is very well written , heartfelt read, very emotional , another book that will be with me for a long time.


Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy for an honest opinion

Really well handled; both hard-hitting and sensitive.  Thanks so much for giving me the opportunity to read it!

I got a copy of this book from the publishers via NetGalley. Thank you.

The storyline didn't feel very fresh - the same old problems and misunderstandings with parents, age gap, sibling relationships, a kid who just wants "out" etc. We all have been there and maybe we all have felt like we have mental problems.

Books like this is a good mirror to see what it's like for someone who actually does have mental problems.

It's a good book for kids with such concerns, and parents who go through doubts about their kids.

A beautifully written stories. Certainly a refreshing read. 
High recommended read.
Loved it.
Thank you to both NetGalley and Penguin Random House for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for honest unbiased review

The Million Pieces of Neena Gill is a story following the journey of a young girl who is suffering from the loss of her brother ten months previously.
The tragedy, where her brother went missing, affects the whole family in damaging ways, but the effect this incident had on Neena slowly unravels as the story is told.
A tale woven with the heartache of mental illness, as Neena suffers from psychosis, and all the trauma that comes with it.
It was interesting with the added cultural twist of Neea coming from a Pakistani Christian family too.
Initially, I found it a little hard to get into, but as the story wound on, I became more and more engrossed.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Random House for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

The Million Pieces of Neena Gill is one of those books that’ll make you realise the power of having an unreliable narrator (and then make you cry when you find out the truth).

The plot follows Neena, ten months on from her brother’s disappearance, as she starts taking more risks, going to more parties, and becoming a freer version of herself. But the more she does, the more she starts to spiral out of control.

One thing I loved about this book is how it builds up Neena’s spiralling, how it foreshadows it until you reach that breaking point and you realise that this is what has been coming all along. It doesn’t come out of the blue, because everything leading to it is meshed into the plot and writing so subtly and seamlessly. You can see it happening, but you can’t stop it. And it’s nothing sensationalised at all. You know like how, particularly in films, psychosis gets magnified to an extreme and exaggerated? Here there’s none of that.

I also loved the family relationships in this book. The best stories are ones that tug at your heartstrings when it comes to family, and this one did just that, especially at the end (I did almost cry, I’ll tell you that). Honestly, I think if you like Melina Marchetta’s way of writing family relationships, this one will be right up your alley.

If there’s one thing I wasn’t too keen on in this book, it’s the whole storyline with Jay (and Fi and Chris by extension). Akash (Neena’s brother) is 3 years older than her (so would be 18 at the time the story is taking place). Jay, his friend, is 20. Jay comes onto Neena and starts kissing her. He’s 20, she’s 15, you can see why I’m pretty leery about that. I guess it’s framed as part of her psychotic episode by the end, but it also does get brushed aside a little bit, so I’m not sure what the point was. Keeping with age and relationships, we’re never actually told how old Fi, who was Akash’s girlfriend, is. She’s at school with Neena, though not in her classes, but she starts dating a 19 year old over the course of the book. So yeah, basically some of the relationships made me a little kind of uncomfortable (especially because Neena is under the age of consent). Thankfully, Neena and Josh (the main relationship) are both 15 (though maybe felt a little underdeveloped? But that wasn’t the main story so I didn’t mind).

In summary: I hope my rambles have somehow convinced you to read this book.

Firstly  Iokento thank Netgally and the Publisher for sending me a copy of this to review 
This book does contain triggers for mental health. We meet Neena at the start and we find out that her  brother is missing and  we follow Neena and her family as they process what has happened to her brother. I enjoyed the book a lot the mental health rep is alot on and its unique perspective also we get to see  a different culture and person of clour deal with mental health issues through out and the stigma that it has on Neenas life. The plot was good it kept me hooked the plot twists in this book I didnt expect. The chapters were short and I loved the illustrations on the chapter headings. I thought the chractures were really well thought out and they had good development. Personally i felt the drinking and the drug taking was a bit too much and at times didnt really give the plot oomph it also felt that people with mental health problems always turn to drink or take drugs wich as a reader felt harmful. I loked that they dealt with grief well and followed Neenas recovery well
 All in all I enjoyed the book and really recommend 4 out of 5 stars

The Million Pieces of Neena Gill by Emma Smith-Barton a five-star read everyone should read. This is a powerful read, it is filled with topics that will surprise ad upset at times, but overall there is so much to hear that you need to finish it even when at times you don’t know if you can. But don’t read my words and think euggh dark and depressing, it’s not its powerful and sweet at times. This is definitely one that will divide opinion, most will love it, but I am sure there will be some that won’t get the underlying story and won’t enjoy it. I just hope you go in with an open mind and enjoy this amazing story.

I really enjoyed this story. Neena’s story is beautifully told. There is a lot of emotion and great characters. There heartbreak and also hope and the love of a family and friends. I would definitely recommend this book.

Thank you to Netgalley for my copy.

A refreshing YA novel from the perspective of a Pakistani girl. I have quite mixed feelings but it tackles a very important topic. I just found it difficult to read.

A really brave novel that felt raw and real! Neena comes from a modern Indian family but when tragedy strikes the family they begin to fall back on more traditional ways. Like any other teenager, Neena is struggling to find her identity, and exploring new love but at the same time she has some very real pressures and anxieties which makes her life both challenging and confusing. 
The author does a great job of getting inside the head of Neena and we live her experiences with her. She paints a rich family life and we feel the pain of loss, It was a compelling read and the reader is routing for Neena the whole way as she navigates through a tricky time in her life.

I found this book hard going initially but as I became more interested in Neena and her relationships I became more invested in the story.  I know how depression can affect youngsters and felt that her slide into a psychotic episode was well portrayed.

A hard story to read but one I will recommend particularly with its positive outcome.  Neena was a fighter who came through with the support of her family and friends.

DNF- 60%
Very generic book, that was a struggle to read- I ended up giving up just over halfway through. 
There was nothing wrong with the writing, just the storyline was something that has been done multiple times over, and did not make me want to continue reading. 
Strict parents, 'wild child', missing sibling, and wild friends. It also felt like the trope of "girl can only be cured with the guys attention" from what I read of it.

This story of Neena Gill's descent into psychosis as she shatters in the aftermath of the disappearance of her brother is beautifully written, and simply oozes with atmosphere. Neena is a sympathetic, totally relatable main character, and her chafing against her parents' strict rules is really wonderfully drawn. Neena's world is changing faster than she can cope with, and as she tries to deal with the loss of her brother and the changes wrought by that loss, as well as normal teenage upheavals and the difficulty of dealing with adolescence, it all gets to be too much for her. Thrown in on top of this, Neena tries to solve the mystery of her brother's disappearance, working with her brother's girlfriend, and is trying to do it all while her parents insist that she stay in and study for her upcoming GCSEs. With everything going on, it's no wonder that cracks start to appear, and Neena fractures into a million pieces.
I requested this book because I saw it compared to Emily Barr, Jennifer Niven, and Nicola Yoon, all of whom I have read and enjoyed. And yes, I can totally see why these comparisons have been made. The characterisation is finely drawn, the understanding of the author is visible in every word, and the depiction of mental illness, the causes, triggers, and impacts is beautifully portrayed.
That's why I found it quite odd that I actually didn't really like this book. Having given it the benefit of a few weeks' thought, I think this is a lot more to do with me than it is to do with the book. I don't think I was in the right mindset to read this, and if I read it at a different time, I would probably have liked it a lot more. Emma Smith-Barton clearly has skill, empathy, and a great grasp on characterisation, as well as a nuanced understanding of the unreliable narrator. Her debut is a finely wrought example which navigates lines of identity, heritage, mental health, family, siblings, adolescence and much more with depth, nuance, and deep, sympathetic understanding. If I had an actual complaint or criticism of the book, beyond 'this didn't work for me', I think it would be that Neena's relationship with her friend, who was so forgettable that I actually can't pull her name at the moment, needed more. She was a hugely important part of Neena's life, and played a pivotal role in the denouement, but very little page space was dedicated to her. I would have liked to see more of that.

Overall, though, this was a book with a lot of depth and promise to it. The combination of examining mental health and a British Pakistani main character was a really interesting one that I hadn't seen before - definitely something to advocate for. Loads of potential here, and although it didn't quite hit the spot for me, I'm 100% sure that many people will absolutely adore this.

The Million Pieces of Neena Gill

This was quite a strange book in many ways.  It tells the story of a girl whose brother has vanished and the impact this has on Neena and her family.  Neena perceives her family as being very strict, originally from India she feels she is not able to have the same freedom as her contempories and starts to rebel against her parents.
   Neena is fifteen in the story and the book gave an insight into the turmoil some teenagers feel as they grow up and have all the problems that involves including meeting someone they care for as well as coping with exams.  Neena also has to deal with the trauma of losing her brother which ends up tipping her over the edge.  As the story unfolds we begin to understand the full extent of her state of mind.  The subject of depression is dealt with well and we can feel the anxiety Neena feels over losing her brother.   The book deals sensitively with issues which face many of us including drug use, depression and suicide, but this has been done with quite a light touch so the book itself is never depressing.  Neena is an engaging character who has an innocence about her and it is easy to sympaphise with her situation.  Her blossoming romance with Josh is beautifully described and I really wanted the book to have a happy ending.
This book was obviously aimed at teenagers which I hadn’t realized when I requested it.  I am a pensioner but still found plenty to enjoy in reading this.    It is a very good first book from Emma Smith-Barton.  Thanks to NetGalley for allowing me to read and review this book.