Struggle to put into words just how good this book is, it’s outstanding and I raced through it and was gutted when it was over.

It’s not just your average police thriller, it’s also about two young girls Aoife and Mary who both are felt a pretty bad hand from day one, they both crack on and try to do the best with what they have and it doesn’t always work out.

It’s about child abuse and grooming, sudden infant death and how what happens when your young shapes you into the person you are today, it’s extremely sad in places especially the life that Aoife and Mary had, but I loved it and really enjoyed it

One of the best books I’ve read in a very long time, I didn’t see the ending nor the twists that were in it and that’s unusual for me, a truly great read and I wish there were more out there like this one

A must read, fantastic novel

Really enjoyable read. Good characters and a Good story. Well worth a read. Think others will enjoy.

This book touches on two emotional subjects - sudden infant death and child sexual exploitation. The story is split between two time periods where the chapters alternate between the past and the present. The past tells of Aoife and Mary as young girls in care being exploited by an older man which results in tragedy. The present deals with the investigation of sudden child death where Eve, the pathologist who is firm in her opinion that the cases she investigates are deliberate acts caused by the mother. When one case is successfully appealed and Joanne the mother released questions begin to be asked by Nell, a DS dealing with a new child death which Eve attends and again points the finger at the mother. Nell along with an analyst Carla begin to delve deeper into the cases dealt with by Eve and when letters appear that have been sent anonymously to her emerge the investigation leads to the past. I
A complicated and enjoyable thriller that keeps you guessing about Eve to the very end.

Whilst I enjoyed this book I found there were a few inconsistencies which bugged me as I was reading it. I’m not sure if this was down to the fact that I was reading an arc and in final publication they would be corrected.
The book tells the story of the investigation into a baby’s death and the letter which arrives accusing the pathologist Eve of fabricating the mother’s guilt and referring the police to a previous case, when the father of the child is subsequently murdered the police begin to look into the connections.
Who is Mary ( the writer of the letters), what is her connection to Eve, Joanne( the previously accused mother) and the baby’s parents.
The book flits between Then- told by Mary and Now -as the investigation team look into the deaths.
Thanks to Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review

A really good police thriller that kept me reading right to the end. The main characters had substance and were believable. I could image them as characters in a drama on T.V. The story was about the friendship of two girls. Life had dealt them both a bad hand and they did the best they could to survive. Not a comfortable read about child grooming, abuse and betrayal. The plot was good and the ending was not what I expected.

We meet Aoife and Mary in a bleak seaside care home, both victims of neglectful and abusive parenting. Vulnerable and seeking affection, they are groomed into another dependent, sexual relationship until a pregnancy blows it all apart.
Some years later, a young mother is wrongly convicted of murdering her baby, and the past begins to catch up with the present.
A UK set crime novel featuring the usual embattled cops, I enjoyed the original opening. However, it was very clear early on where this was going and I’m no Miss Marple.

That said, it was an enjoyable read, not edge of seat thrilling, but an interesting premise nonetheless.

Oh wow!! What a book. Not the usual police procedural but something different with an investigator Nell and Crime Analyst Carla. A new concept shown where the analyst digs through mountains of electronic data to assist the field investigators.

A young couple with a dead child suspected of unnatural causes brought pathologist Eve to the picture. 6 threatening letters written by Mary embroiled Eve deeper into another mystery of her past reports. Nell and Carla investigated.

A debut by Merilyn Davies got my interest soaring and my passions fired up. I love the way the story got me thinking about the possibilities and suspects. The chapters written about the past was an added flavor.

The story had two strong women analyzing the crime from different angles. There was a slow building up of trust. The author being an analyst has used her experience in the story, and that showed in the way this story was written. It was leaps different from the rest.

My passions were at its peak when the analyst showed her humane side and hid certain data. I was angry because she was supposed to be a police woman of sorts before other relationships. I kept taping on her name (read tapping the screen of my kindle) hoping to knock some sense into her.

Such were the emotions as I read through this intriguing one of a kind crime drama which was quite a convoluted story. You have to read it to believe it.

This is a novel that I was so keen to read and I’m really pleased to say that it lived up to my expectations. This is a novel that centres around an infant’s death, and the pathologist who believes the baby was murdered by one of her parents then begins receiving threatening letters. The novel is told in two timelines and looks at two teenagers who are in the care system, and in the present is the case looking at the murdered baby. I found this one of those novels that I just couldn’t put down, it had me hooked all the way through. I had my suspicions at various points in the novel but it was only a little while before the reveal that I finally put everything together. This novel is a mix of police procedural and thriller and it’s such a gripping and engaging read. I’m really happy to see that this is actually going to be the first book in the series as I loved the detectives and I can’t wait to read more!

A crime fiction novel which tackles hard subjects within the complex investigation spawned by the death of a young child.

Eve is a pathologist who is sure that a young child has lost her life due to the mother's actions despite the father being less than co-operative. The diagnosis is complicated when a letter is received which has details of the case that no-one should know and accusing Eve of wrongly convicting a mother in the past. If that wasn't enough intrigue we have an older timeline relating to two teenaged girls residing in a care home. Fortunately the author brings the strands together in the end although I admit my credulity was stretched.

This appears to be the first in a series and I do have to applaud the depiction of the police, all the characters are realistically drawn with believable dialogue in evidence throughout so I'm hopeful that the next episode will be a touch less convoluted to allow the great writing its true place in the spotlight.

I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest, independent review.

"A young couple in Oxford are the lead suspects for the murder of their only child, and it’s up to detective duo DS Nell Jackson and Crime Analyst Carla Brown to unpick the truth. So when the forensic specialist working on the case starts receiving threatening letters containing information only the police would know, the investigation takes on a new level of urgency. Does someone want revenge? How far will they go to expose the truth? As Carla and Nell dig deeper, it soon becomes clear that this case isn’t the first of its kind. And this time the danger lies closer to home."

I was a little confused with the plotline. The story opens with the murder of a child, but the story does not focus on this. However, as the story moved on further, and the main story developed, I got to grips with the story.

I did find the story confusing at times - there were a lot of characters to keep track of and I found myself getting confused who was who at times.

However, I must say that the subjects of child loss and child abuse were handled sensitively and with care.

The story came together nicely in the end, but just a little confusing for me unfortunately.

Everything changes when a child dies. Kelly- Anne lost her child. Forensic pathologist Eve feels Kelly- Anne killed her own child. DCI Bremer along with the crime analyst Carla and DI Nell investigate the case. But things quickly change when Eve receives letters pertaining to the case. As the investigation progress, it brings out dark secrets that are 35 years old.

A debut novel by Merilyn Davies. Being a former crime analyst Merilyn Davies brings depth to the story. It’s an unusual story with a mind-bending twist.

Police procedurals have a tendency of going flat but this one keeps the pace and the thrill till the last page. I am sure for many people some part suspense will be an easy guess. But there is an attraction that keeps you hooked to the book. The author’s writing is crisp and articulate which contributed to this effect.

One of the good things about the book is its limited number of characters. That’s why all the characters received a justified amount of space. You can understand the motivation behind each of the characters.

The main theme of the book is child abuse and branches somewhat to domestic violence. It also gives you a perspective on how child abuse shapes the mind of a child. This can be detrimental to not just relatives but society at large. The author played in the past and present format. The chapters in the past give readers' reflection of the thoughts of an abused child. The past and the present merge seamlessly forming an intriguing climax.

Overall, it is a compelling mystery with real issues of society which seem minor but how it affects society.

I give this book 4 stars.

I would like to thank NetGalley, Random House UK, Cornerstone for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

A great book, I really enjoyed it.
Nell and Paul are called the death of a young baby, they are greeted by pathologist Eve who is convinced the mother is guilty of murdering her child.
Nell is unconvinced and when Eve receives threatening letters, the plot thickens.
The story is told from two aspects. Mary & Aoife are in a children’s home and become fast friends. They befriend the local cafe owner, but he subjects them to horrific abuse, ending in Aoife’s pregnancy.
The two girls hide their secret until they have to eventually have to tell Alf, the cafe owner. His actions define the rest of Mary’s life.
How do the two stories fit together?
A well told and intriguing storyline.

This book is told from 2 viewpoints. The police are trying to solve a murder of the father of a baby who he is thought to have killed. Eve, a pathologist., has investigated several baby deaths but has started getting some disturbing letters, accusing her of hiding a secret from the past.
Meanwhile we flip back to Mary and aoife, two girls placed into care, who become firm friends. However there trusting nature leads to disaster.
These 2 storylines are cleverly interlinked and we see how the relationships are all intertwined. This book kept me guessing to the end....I absolutely loved it and thoroughly recommend.

There are not many books to prioritise over work but this was one of them. At every opportunity I took snatched minutes and hours to devour When I Lost You.

Following the sad death of a baby, there are poison pen letters suggesting that the pathologist on the case is compromised.
The story is told in two timelines. 1) Now – from the view of the police analyst Carla Brown. And 2) Then, many years earlier starting with two girls Mary and Aoife in a care home. It's unclear at the beginning how the two timelines meet, but when they do it is explosive.

A fantastic debut.

I really hope to see more of DS Nell Jackson and Crime Analyst Carla Brown.

VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

Thank you so much the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with a complimentary electronic copy in return for an honest review.

This book should come with a warning, graphic crime scene descriptions, some very tough to read. Details of murder, infant death, and abuse.

However, this doesn’t take away just how brilliant this book was.
A story spanning decades, the devastating death of a child and the horror that follows.

A strong storyline with great characters.

It took me a good few chapters to get into this one but by chapter 6 I was hooked because I had a feeling I was in for a shock.

The book starts in the Present day with a baby that is found dead,the police pathologist points her finger at the very young and clearly traumatised mother Kelly-Anne.

We learn that several years ago there was another mother convicted of murder, she had been convicted by the evidence of that same pathologist - Eve.

As the book jumps to the past, to some 35 ago we learn a story of two abused young girls who meet in a care home and form a bond which will connect them for the rest of their lives. Will this be significant to the story?

When DS Nell Jackson and her colleague Paul attend an unexpected death scene of baby Georgie, they like many of us expect it to be a tragic case of sudden infant death, only for the pathologist (Eve) to quickly determine that it's a murder case. Nell is dealing with a new DI, a hotshot catapulted into Thames Valley from the Met, and PTSD from an attack she is desperate to put behind her. Meanwhile we meet Crime Analyst, Carla and she is finding herself challenged, by both her DI's expansion of her role and Nell's hostility, while at home her boyfriend is desperate for her to settle down and become a mother.

Coming together we have a team work together while they investigate just why pathologist Eve has accused more mothers of murder than statistically likely and what, if anything, this case has to do with a tragic case of child grooming several decades ago. Is it anything to do with the letters from M which begin to appear? Who is M?

The book takes on the themes of motherhood, abandonment, child abuse, child death, PTSD and in doing so creates an unputdownable book that is worthy of giving your times up to read!

This was a good read even though I had to read some bits again. Twists that you do not expect from the past and then the present day. Keeps you turning the pages to find out more.

My thanks to Random House U.K. Cornerstone /Arrow for an eARC via NetGalley of Merilyn Davies’ ‘When I Lost You’ in exchange for an honest review. As the price was appealing, I elected to purchase its ebook/e-audiobook combination for an immersive experience.

This is a police procedural set in Oxford. When a couple are accused of murdering their baby, Crime Analyst Carla Brown and D.S. Nell Jackson are assigned to the investigation. However, what appears to be a straightforward case is thrown into doubt when the lead forensic pathologist receives a letter accusing her of misleading the police. It transpires that she has received a number of similar letters.

Aside from the investigation, we get tantalising glimpses into the mind of the letter writer. Also, there are flashbacks to Portsmouth in the early 1980s and events concerning two teenage girls, who were residents of a care home and groomed and abused by an older local cafe owner.

The novel deals with difficult subjects: infant death, child abuse, and murder. It is a complex plot though it comes together beautifully building to a shattering climax.

Merilyn Davies has worked as a Crime Analyst for the Met so has firsthand knowledge of this particular role. I found this a very accomplished debut and am hoping that this will be the first of many from her pen.

Its cover art is very striking and atmospheric with the rocking horse toy and shadowy figure glimpsed through rain-splattered window.

I so very nearly gave up early n with this complicated and multi layered story but stuck with it to the end. I’m not a whole lot clearer now and right through it I had to think who was who so many times it got annoying.
Difficult subject matter which was sensitivity handled but on the whole not one of my favourites.

Although this book is essentially about infant death, child abuse and murder it isn’t as dark as that seems, possibly due to the good writing and tight plotting. Even though I worked out pretty early how the story would unfold, this didn’t diminish my enjoyment. I particularly liked the two police women and hope to see more of them in future books.