There are books you read to enjoy and then there are books that you read because they are challenging, show you a different world view, invite you into the darker sides of Humanity and shine a light on it. My Dark Vanessa is definitely in the latter category.

Grooming and child sexual abuse is a fraught topic. Triggering for many, uncomfortable for most, it's a dark and difficult subject. Particularly given societal propensity to be biased against teenage girls, to see them as perhaps not willing participants, but at least as provocateurs.

So I didn't enjoy My Dark Vanessa. I don't think you're supposed to. There was a lot that I liked about it, though. I liked how cleverly it exposed the manipulations of Strane, even through the perspective of Vanessa as a young girl. I liked how it explored the power dynamic between them - the way Vanessa thinks she has all the power, but we as the reader can see that it's Strane letting her think that. I liked how despite finding Strane an abhorrent human being, it was possible to see from Vanessa's perspective exactly why he was so alluring to her.

None of it sat comfortably, but only by taking steps outside of our comfort zones will we start to recognise and challenge problematic behaviours, or the warning signs in young girls (and boys). It's a dark facet of Human nature that needs exposing to the light, if only so we can all see it for what it is and better eradicate it.

A thoughtful, interesting novel.

Wow this was an emotional read and also very gripping - I had heard about the book so I knew a premise of what it was about but it was still a difficult book to read. The story of Vanessa is told in a dual narrative both from her point of view - one when she is 15 years old and the second when she is in her 30's. I couldn't put it down and when I was finished I was left with lots of questions. I think that this book will stay with me for a long time yet - fantastic book so well written

My Dark Vanessa is a difficult read. The story of Vanessa who is groomed and abused as a teenager by her English teacher. The novel jumps between the past and the present where other girls are coming forward with allegations of abuse from the teacher and Vanessa looks back on their relationship in a different light.
Stories like Vanessa’s, and other #metoo accounts, are important but I found the book to be unnecessarily over-detailed making an already difficult subject matter even harder to process.
Russell is clearly a very talented writer and I look forward to reading more of her work but due to the subject matter, this one wasn’t for me.
Thank you to NetGalley and Fourth Estate for the copy.

My Dark Vanessa is a deeply emotional read that deals with the complex subject of adolescent abuse. The writing is powerful and really hits home the disturbing reality of a teacher grooming a 15 year old girl, and the consequences this has for the woman who tries to come to terms with what happened to her.

This was a hard book to read given its content but I thought it was utterly gripping and so well written. I love books that stretch your brain and question your perceptions. I have been thinking about this book for days after I finished it, it was so impactful. Flipping between the present and the past, we see a love story between a student and her teacher, obsession, teenage infatuation or is it abuse and manipulation? An absolute must read ! I have already recommended this book to peers and friends. Thank you to Kate Russell, William Morrow an Netgalleu UK for an ARC in return for a fair and honest review.

The #MeToo movement has led to the fall of many high and mighty men (less high and mighty ones too) and belated justice for many wronged women. More importantly, however, this movement has highlighted that the issue of abuse on women goes deeper than just the immoral and illegal actions of individual men. Often, the abuse could not have been perpetrated without the complicity, the connivance or, at the very least, the lack of concern, of wider society.

The stories which we have seen in the media in the past years have also shown how complex the matter of “consent” can become. We have heard abusers defending themselves by saying that their victims “consented” to or even encouraged their advances. And, at a very superficial level, in some cases there could be some truth in this ‘defence’. But what exactly counts as “consent”? Where one of the parties is a minor, or in a vulnerable position, can it ever be present?

My Dark Vanessa, Kate Elizabeth Russell’s debut novel, is unafraid to face these thorny questions head on. Its protagonist and narrator is the “Vanessa” of the title. As a wide-eyed, fifteen-year-old outsider at college, she is flattered by the attention she receives from her English tutor, Jacob Strane, thirty years her senior. This attention, however, soon changes into something far creepier, developing into a sexual liaison which will mark and traumatize Vanessa well into adulthood. As Strane is accused by other ex-students in the wake of #MeToo, Vanessa has to face past horrors head on, and to admit to herself that what she considers the “love affair of her life” is, in reality, a sordid case of manipulation and abuse.

Russell’s novel is intelligent and nuanced. Whilst it is clear throughout that Strane is an abuser and Vanessa his victim, this is neither a black-and-white account nor a one-sided manifesto. And the novel is so much the better for this. It helps, for instance, that Vanessa is not a particularly likeable character and that her negative traits cannot all be blamed on Strane. This in no way lessens the gravity of the abuse she suffers – on the contrary, the novel shows how the weaknesses of a potential victim can be worked upon by an abuser. Russell also points to the factors which have allowed abusive practices to take place unchecked – from a reluctance of the authorities and family members to admit to inconvenient truths in the hope that they will just “go away”, to the subtle glorification of abusive relationships whether in “high” or popular culture (from literature to pop songs). At the same time, Russell hints at some ambivalence about #MeToo as a "movement", in the sense that she emphasizes that the history of each victim is different and there is no exclusively "valid" response to trauma. Trigger warning - some descriptions are explicit and revolting but, then again, the novels subject is not for the squeamish.

Is My Dark Vanessa the great book it is being touted to be? Admittedly, it is neither formally adventurous nor particularly striking in style and language. But it tells a timely and important story and does so effectively, leaving the reader with much food for thought.

This is a book I had to request after seeing it all over twitter and instagram.
I have not been disappointed. This is darker than I expected, I have really enjoyed reading this one. I’ve found it difficult to put down.

This is one of the best books I’ve read for a long time.

It takes a very serious and disturbing topic - child grooming - and turns it into a very readable book. The standard of writing is so high you keep reading even though the descriptions of the grooming are uncomfortable and unsettling. Told from Vanessa’s (the child) perspective - it isn’t grooming, it’s love ... isn’t it? Even as an adult Vanessa is still in denial that it was grooming rather than love.

I can’t recommend this book highly enough. It really is a compelling, quality read. Make sure you get a copy.

A tough but gripping read. Could put this book down, touches on a horrific subject with excellent tact.

Oh my goodness, what an incredible book. This is a really tough read and I think that's what made it so incredible - I initially gave it three stars because it made me so uncomfortable when I was reading, and it was only when I looked back and realised that was the point that I realised what a well-written book it is. Very deserving of all of the praise I've been hearing about it.

This is a deeply disturbing and visceral story about grooming and sexual abuse. Its power lies in the depth of understanding that the writer brings to her harrowing subject matter. Paedophile teacher, the vile and repulsive Jacob Strane preys on 15-year-old Vanessa Wye. He compliments her persistently, making her feel special, then his slow flirtations ramp up into full blown abuse.

Told in two time frames, we live and breathe the warped situation with teenage Vanessa, while in other sections, ten years on, a momentum to bring Strane to justice is building amid the me-too movement. Vanessa though refuses to accept that Strane raped and abused her, instead choosing to hold onto the misguided notion that theirs was true love.

This is testament to just how far Strane had manipulated her. He made her feel good about herself, powerful, how then, she asks herself, could it have been abuse? She can barely recall the way she cried the first time he raped her. In her refusal to acknowledge what really happened, she apes the behaviour of adults in the past who were aware of Strane’s involvement with her, but did nothing about it. When she later meets a teacher called Henry Plough, Vanessa is again forced to confront the wrongness of her relationship with Strane.

Russell traverses this uncomfortable ground so well. At times the writer almost fools you into forgetting that this is no teenage romance - in the same way that Vanessa herself is being fooled by Strane - but always there is the conniving Strane lurking and persuading coercing. Strane is so excellently drawn that he had me feeling simultaneously repulsed and enraged. He is absolutely loathsome. There was one particular scene where I felt so churned-up and disgusted by what was happening that I began to wonder whether I could carry on reading.

But read on I did because I had to know what happened to the brilliant but brain-washed Vanessa. She is a victim and Strane is the perpetrator, but in the end it is clear just who is the weak one in this most warped of relationships.

Vanessa’s voice is so powerful that while you may want to turn away from what is happening to her, she pulls you in so much that the novel is impossible to put down. Indeed I spun through the pages so quickly that I finished the novel in a matter of days. And all the while my heart twisted ever more tightly.

This is an exemplary, faultless work with excellent world building and pace. It may be remarkable, but it is no easy read.

Vanessa, our main character, was only fifteen and a student when she met and was groomed by Jacob Strane, her English teacher. Strane was thirty at the time. Now, as an adult, Vanessa is shocked to learn that Strane faces allegations of historical sexual abuse brought forward by another student, Taylor Birch, on the back of the #MeToo movement. Vanessa wants no part in the case - what happened between she and Strane was different. He loved her. Didn't he? How could he be capable of hurting someone when he treated her so lovingly?

This is a really hard book to read, I found Vanessa's head a really dark place to be and that's probably why I struggled to maintain enthusiasm (it ended up taking me months to finish). The grooming was very difficult to read about, I really hated Strane and how his actions affected every single area of Vanessa's life whether she realised it or not.

Comparisons, naturally, will be drawn to Lolita (which I hated) - but where Humbert Humbert was almost a parody of himself, Strane is pure evil (I have written in my notes "a horrible, manipulative, gaslighting POS" which I fully stand by).

This is really a book about a woman coming to terms with the events that shaped her current reality, but it's one I found myself wondering if I really needed to read or not - I don't feel like I gained anything by finishing it. In saying that, the writing is smart, the social commentary is biting, and the story is ultimately one of hope. I just don't think it needed to be as long as it was, it could have lost 150 pages and still been a powerful novel.

I received a copy to review via Netgalley.

Vanessa Wye is an insecure, emotionally immature 15 year old girl from a working class family who feels out of place and alone at Browick, the prestigious New England boarding school she attends. Abandoned by the only friend she had managed to make there, she becomes an easy victim for predatory English teacher, Jacob Strane.

The way Strane grooms Vanessa, honing in on her insecurities and making her feel valued, clever and special (“Haven’t you always felt like an outsider?” he asks. “I’ll bet for as long as you can remember you were called mature for your age.”) is painful and sickening to observe, but very cleverly written and sharply observed. At that time (early 2000s) society hadn’t yet woken up to the level of abuse committed by men (and, much more rarely, women) in positions of power. However, when we meet Vanessa again she is 32 years old and she becomes unwittingly embroiled in a #metoo style campaign by a group of ex-Browick pupils who are determined to make Strane pay for his crimes.

Vanessa is a complex and somewhat disturbing character. She convinces herself that what she and Strain shared was a deep, passionate and misunderstood love and that the women who are making accusations against him are jealous, vengeful and misguided. Despite the fact that her life took a downward turn after she is forced to leave the school, with all her early intelligence and potential lost as she embarks on a chaotic and self-destructive existence, she refuses to blame the man who has cast such a malevolent shadow over her life.

I was gripped by Vanessa’s story, it makes for very uncomfortable and disturbing reading at times but brought a totally new perspective to my understanding of abuse and obsession and a relief that powerful abusers like Strane are finally getting the retribution and public vilification they deserve. Topical, poignant and very hard hitting, this novel will give book groups and individual readers alike a lot to think about.

I agonised over how to review this book. Firstly - Russell is an incredibly talented writer. This book is an utterly compelling read and it's unbelievable that this is her first novel. Without a doubt, I would read more by her again. But, and this is a big but, it's far too long. About a whole third longer than it really needed to be. And this is such a shame because in this case, it really detracts from how utterly powerful the book should be.

Be warned - this, as the title and blurb would suggest, is a very dark read. The story is told from the perspective of Vanessa, who falls in love with her abuser, her teacher, who started a 'relationship' with her when she was 15. Clearly the subject matter is more than a little challenging. But what makes it even more of a difficult read, is how adamant she is that she was not abused. She truly believes they had a loving relationship and that she was not taken advantage of in anyway. There are moments where her naivety will make your toes curl, but make no mistake, this is absolutely the intention.

"I just need it to be a love story. You know? I really, really need it to be that".
"I know," she says.
"Because if it isn't a love story, then what is it?"

We slowly see this story unravel, through the teenage memories of a now adult Vanessa, as other allegations about her abuser start to surface. Her incredulity at their claims is painful to witness. Her instinct to protect him is more than a little discomfiting.

The real power of this book is how plainly it sets out the way abusers are able to manipulate young girls in this way. They make them feel special, romanced and unique. Vanessa vehemently denies that there was anything untoward about their relationship, as she is so convinced by Strane that theirs is a love story.

"If there's one thing you take away from this class, it should be that the world is made of endlessly intersecting stories, each one valid and true."

Like I say, I would have been totally bowled over by this if it weren't so unnecessarily long. This book could pack such a punch, but a lot of the superfluous detail diminished the overall result. It's such a heart wrenching book and there are moments that will make you feel utterly wretched. But that is the sign of a truly talented author. You cannot achieve that emotional reaction just by writing about a difficult subject matter, you have to handle the story bravely and sensitively, and Russell does both. It's a really important book, and if you can get through some of the filler, it's likely to impact you in quite a significant way.

Thanks to the Publisher and Netgalley for this preview copy in return for an honest review.


My Dark Vanessa was published on 10th March 2020 by Fourth Estate

This was a deeply unsettling read. Following our main character as she reevaluates her love affair with her teacher. A relationship that she deemed to be perfectly acceptable and normal she is now beginning to see in a different light as complaints of inappropriate behaviour against the teacher begin to come to light.

I did enjoy this read however I can see how people may find it deeply triggering.
It feels wrong to say I enjoyed this read considering the subject matter and watching the grooming happen sentence by sentence was very disturbing. Seeing it through the eyes of the main character then and now just goes to show how deep-rooted abuse can live.

It was a very 'enjoyable' read.

One of the deepest novels I’ve read this year. A powerfully chilling book, it weaves every type of abuse imaginable into one story. Women will resonate with Vanessa and hopefully find the courage to tell their own stories so they no longer feel alone, undermined, and barely existing in self-doubt. But it is also a book for men.

Vanessa (15) is a lonely girl longing to be loved and typical of girls her own age, a loner. Dumped by her best friend, she is dangerously vulnerable to the predatory Strane; a master manipulator and narcissist. Central to the plot is her loyalty and the chipping away of her own identity which, if left alone, would have developed at its own speed. You can’t help thinking what life might have been like for Vanessa if Strane hadn’t polluted it, and in this way the novel examines Strane’s ruthlessness and exploitation of her youth. She is puzzlingly obsessed with a man so much older than herself and with few physical attributes a girl of her age would naturally find attractive. But there is a meeting of the minds, an academic magnetism that draws her to Strane; the catalyst being the book Lolita, given to Vanessa by Strane. In Lolita, Humbert is obsessed with ‘nymphets’ aged from 9 - 14, and as Lo unwittingly stretches her legs across Humbert's excited lap, so too does Vanessa in Strane’s study. This is how she defines love.

As the relationship progresses, Vanessa is blind to Strane’s disturbed personality — irritatingly so — because she is oblivious to his motive. Strane’s greed causes indescribable pain and tragedy to Vanessa alone, where she is expelled from a school she loves in order to protect his name. The frustration a reader may feel is Vanessa’s powerlessness and emotional immaturity, and most importantly the lack of statutory rape laws to protect her. The issue here is that Vanessa doesn’t feel she’s been raped because she’s in love, and Strane, in his own twisted way, loves her. She is inescapably bound to him and cannot form attachments with boys of her own age. Neither Taylor nor a reporter, desperately trying to build a case about Strane, can get through to Vanessa. Even Vanessa’s counsellor has met her match.

The relationship continues outside the school for a brief period until she is too ‘old’ to satisfy Strane’s fantasies. We see her robbed of her innocence too early to understand its complexities and the damage incurred by Strane’s selfishness. Vanessa is already on a downward trajectory, although I kept hoping for retribution as a result of Strane’s sudden diffidence.

I found the last third of the book a little lacklustre compared to the opening chapters which are an emotional roller-coaster. Gripping and horrifying, it’s hard to put down because you ache for Vanessa and you hope she will see the light. Parts of it were so emotional for me I had to put it down for a while to process what I’d just read.

Beautifully written and riveting from start to finish, the after-effects will be with the reader for months to come.

At 15 Vanessa is excited to receive a scholarship to a prestigious boarding school. A year later and she is without friends and struggling, her love is English Literature and her charismatic teacher Mr Strane. He is 45. Seventeen years later and Vanessa is obsessed with the fact that Strane is being named as an abuser by another student from the school. Vanessa knows she wasn't abused, her relationship with Strane was love.
This is an incredibly strong novel about a very difficult subject. The story uses themes from literature to frame thoughts, the motif of Lolita is both obvious and also slightly scary. Vanessa's victimised thought-processes are all too real. I can't say this book made easy reading but it is very prescient and very powerful

Vanessa Wye was 15 when her relationship with her English teacher first began. So what that he was her teacher, they were in love. That counts for something, right? The answer for Vanessa is yes, their love counts for everything. At least it used to. Now she is questioning everything.

Told across two timelines, her school days in 2000 and the growing Me Too movement of 2017, My Dark Vanessa is an uncomfortable read, as it should be. Yet Kate Elizabeth Russell’s writing also makes it a compelling read. I can see why it is triggering for many people, particularly survivors of sexual assault, especially because Russell doesn’t shy away from depicting scenes of sexual abuse and rape.

When a former student publicly states that she was sexually assaulted by Jacob Strane, Vanessa doesn’t know how to react. Strane insists the allegations are not true and Vanessa wants to believe him because the man she loved couldn’t possibly be a sexual predator.

Switching between the past and Vanessa’s present, we watch Strane groom Vanessa and see the hold he continues to have over her life 17 years later. As Vanessa rethinks their entire relationship her understanding of what really happened shifts, multiple times, as she grapples with the realisation that while she doesn’t see herself as a victim or survivor they may in fact be accurate descriptors for her. This evolution is really well handled by Russell and is as complicated and messy as you’d expect.

This was a difficult book to read. A 15byearold was seduced by her teacher. She was then abused and mistreated. set in America there are political references which didn't interest me and didn't add to the story. I have read books like this before which even though a difficult subject, was treated much more sympathetically,

This book is impossible to put down. A story of grooming and abuse told by a narrator whose whole selfhood is wedded to the fact that her relationship with a much older teacher at school was a love affair. It manages to be both a compulsively readable first person narrative and a commentary on sexual politics. Highly recommended.