Vanessa Wye is an insecure, emotionally immature 15 year old girl from a working class family who feels out of place and alone at Browick, the prestigious New England boarding school she attends. Abandoned by the only friend she had managed to make there, she becomes an easy victim for predatory English teacher, Jacob Strane.

The way Strane grooms Vanessa, honing in on her insecurities and making her feel valued, clever and special (“Haven’t you always felt like an outsider?” he asks. “I’ll bet for as long as you can remember you were called mature for your age.”) is painful and sickening to observe, but very cleverly written and sharply observed. At that time (early 2000s) society hadn’t yet woken up to the level of abuse committed by men (and, much more rarely, women) in positions of power. However, when we meet Vanessa again she is 32 years old and she becomes unwittingly embroiled in a #metoo style campaign by a group of ex-Browick pupils who are determined to make Strane pay for his crimes.

Vanessa is a complex and somewhat disturbing character. She convinces herself that what she and Strain shared was a deep, passionate and misunderstood love and that the women who are making accusations against him are jealous, vengeful and misguided. Despite the fact that her life took a downward turn after she is forced to leave the school, with all her early intelligence and potential lost as she embarks on a chaotic and self-destructive existence, she refuses to blame the man who has cast such a malevolent shadow over her life.

I was gripped by Vanessa’s story, it makes for very uncomfortable and disturbing reading at times but brought a totally new perspective to my understanding of abuse and obsession and a relief that powerful abusers like Strane are finally getting the retribution and public vilification they deserve. Topical, poignant and very hard hitting, this novel will give book groups and individual readers alike a lot to think about.

I agonised over how to review this book. Firstly - Russell is an incredibly talented writer. This book is an utterly compelling read and it's unbelievable that this is her first novel. Without a doubt, I would read more by her again. But, and this is a big but, it's far too long. About a whole third longer than it really needed to be. And this is such a shame because in this case, it really detracts from how utterly powerful the book should be.

Be warned - this, as the title and blurb would suggest, is a very dark read. The story is told from the perspective of Vanessa, who falls in love with her abuser, her teacher, who started a 'relationship' with her when she was 15. Clearly the subject matter is more than a little challenging. But what makes it even more of a difficult read, is how adamant she is that she was not abused. She truly believes they had a loving relationship and that she was not taken advantage of in anyway. There are moments where her naivety will make your toes curl, but make no mistake, this is absolutely the intention.

"I just need it to be a love story. You know? I really, really need it to be that".
"I know," she says.
"Because if it isn't a love story, then what is it?"

We slowly see this story unravel, through the teenage memories of a now adult Vanessa, as other allegations about her abuser start to surface. Her incredulity at their claims is painful to witness. Her instinct to protect him is more than a little discomfiting.

The real power of this book is how plainly it sets out the way abusers are able to manipulate young girls in this way. They make them feel special, romanced and unique. Vanessa vehemently denies that there was anything untoward about their relationship, as she is so convinced by Strane that theirs is a love story.

"If there's one thing you take away from this class, it should be that the world is made of endlessly intersecting stories, each one valid and true."

Like I say, I would have been totally bowled over by this if it weren't so unnecessarily long. This book could pack such a punch, but a lot of the superfluous detail diminished the overall result. It's such a heart wrenching book and there are moments that will make you feel utterly wretched. But that is the sign of a truly talented author. You cannot achieve that emotional reaction just by writing about a difficult subject matter, you have to handle the story bravely and sensitively, and Russell does both. It's a really important book, and if you can get through some of the filler, it's likely to impact you in quite a significant way.
  
Thanks to the Publisher and Netgalley for this preview copy in return for an honest review.

 
My Dark Vanessa was published on 10th March 2020 by Fourth Estate

This was a deeply unsettling read. Following our main character as she reevaluates her love affair with her teacher. A relationship that she deemed to be perfectly acceptable and normal she is now beginning to see in a different light as complaints of inappropriate behaviour against the teacher begin to come to light.

I did enjoy this read however I can see how people may find it deeply triggering. 
It feels wrong to say I enjoyed this read considering the subject matter and watching the grooming happen sentence by sentence was very disturbing. Seeing it through the eyes of the main character then and now just goes to show how deep-rooted abuse can live.

It was a very 'enjoyable' read.

One of the deepest novels I’ve read this year. A powerfully chilling book, it weaves every type of abuse imaginable into one story. Women will resonate with Vanessa and hopefully find the courage to tell their own stories so they no longer feel alone, undermined, and barely existing in self-doubt. But it is also a book for men. 

Vanessa (15) is a lonely girl longing to be loved and typical of girls her own age, a loner. Dumped by her best friend, she is dangerously vulnerable to the predatory Strane; a master manipulator and narcissist. Central to the plot is her loyalty and the chipping away of her own identity which, if left alone, would have developed at its own speed. You can’t help thinking what life might have been like for Vanessa if Strane hadn’t polluted it, and in this way the novel examines Strane’s ruthlessness and exploitation of her youth. She is puzzlingly obsessed with a man so much older than herself and with few physical attributes a girl of her age would naturally find attractive. But there is a meeting of the minds, an academic magnetism that draws her to Strane; the catalyst being the book Lolita, given to Vanessa by Strane. In Lolita, Humbert is obsessed with ‘nymphets’ aged from 9 - 14, and as Lo unwittingly stretches her legs across Humbert's excited lap, so too does Vanessa in Strane’s study. This is how she defines love.

As the relationship progresses, Vanessa is blind to Strane’s disturbed personality — irritatingly so — because she is oblivious to his motive. Strane’s greed causes indescribable pain and tragedy to Vanessa alone, where she is expelled from a school she loves in order to protect his name. The frustration a reader may feel is Vanessa’s powerlessness and emotional immaturity, and most importantly the lack of statutory rape laws to protect her. The issue here is that Vanessa doesn’t feel she’s been raped because she’s in love, and Strane, in his own twisted way, loves her. She is inescapably bound to him and cannot form attachments with boys of her own age. Neither Taylor nor a reporter, desperately trying to build a case about Strane, can get through to Vanessa. Even Vanessa’s counsellor has met her match. 

The relationship continues outside the school for a brief period until she is too ‘old’ to satisfy Strane’s fantasies. We see her robbed of her innocence too early to understand its complexities and the damage incurred by Strane’s selfishness. Vanessa is already on a downward trajectory, although I kept hoping for retribution as a result of Strane’s sudden diffidence.

I found the last third of the book a little lacklustre compared to the opening chapters which are an emotional roller-coaster. Gripping and horrifying, it’s hard to put down because you ache for Vanessa and you hope she will see the light. Parts of it were so emotional for me I had to put it down for a while to process what I’d just read. 

Beautifully written and riveting from start to finish, the after-effects will be with the reader for months to come.

At 15 Vanessa is excited to receive a scholarship to a prestigious boarding school.  A year later and she is without friends and struggling, her love is English Literature and her charismatic teacher Mr Strane.  He is 45.  Seventeen years later and Vanessa is obsessed with the fact that Strane is being named as an abuser by another student from the school.  Vanessa knows she wasn't abused, her relationship with Strane was love.
This is an incredibly strong novel about a very difficult subject.  The story uses themes from literature to frame thoughts, the motif of Lolita is both obvious and also slightly scary. Vanessa's victimised thought-processes are all too real.  I can't say this book made easy reading but it is very prescient and very powerful

Vanessa Wye was 15 when her relationship with her English teacher first began. So what that he was her teacher, they were in love. That counts for something, right? The answer for Vanessa is yes, their love counts for everything. At least it used to. Now she is questioning everything. 

Told across two timelines, her school days in 2000 and the growing Me Too movement of 2017, My Dark Vanessa is an uncomfortable read, as it should be. Yet Kate Elizabeth Russell’s writing also makes it a compelling read. I can see why it is triggering for many people, particularly survivors of sexual assault, especially because Russell doesn’t shy away from depicting scenes of sexual abuse and rape. 

When a former student publicly states that she was sexually assaulted by Jacob Strane, Vanessa doesn’t know how to react. Strane insists the allegations are not true and Vanessa wants to believe him because the man she loved couldn’t possibly be a sexual predator. 

Switching between the past and Vanessa’s present, we watch Strane groom Vanessa and see the hold he continues to have over her life 17 years later. As Vanessa rethinks their entire relationship her understanding of what really happened shifts, multiple times, as she grapples with the realisation that while she doesn’t see herself as a victim or survivor they may in fact be accurate descriptors for her. This evolution is really well handled by Russell and is as complicated and messy as you’d expect.

This was a difficult book to read. A 15byearold was seduced by her teacher. She was then abused and mistreated. set in America there are political references which didn't interest me  and didn't add to the story. I have read books like this before which even though a difficult subject, was treated much more sympathetically,

This book is impossible to put down. A story of grooming and abuse told by a narrator whose whole selfhood is wedded to the fact that  her relationship with a much older teacher at school was a love affair. It manages to be both a compulsively readable first person narrative and a commentary on sexual politics. Highly recommended.

My Dark Vanessa is the book everyone's already been talking about for months, and it's not hard to see why when you read it. Centred around Vanessa, who is picked and groomed by her school teacher when she's fifteen, we follow her life after and see how the relationship in her formative years defines her life.

This is literary and beautifully written, with clear allusions to different poets and writers throughout. It's well tied together, perfectly crafted, but, oh, it's hard to read in places. This is a descent into the mind of someone who has been used and crafted by an abusive relationship as a teenager, and so every interaction she has is muddied and twisted into something dark. 

This felt like an important read - it explores the idea of victimhood, love and agency. How do you conquer something when you feel like you welcomed it? How do you get over abuse without becoming a victim? 

I feel like this is going to spark some excellent discussions and would make a brilliant book club read. It was definitely hard going as a reader, because of the subject matter, and because you're sitting in Vanessa's mind, knowing exactly how and why she's doing things, and you're desperately sad for her, hoping she'll break the cycle and escape the past. This isn't an uplifting book, but it's an important one. The writing was skillful.

An uncomfortable read as we discover the mechanics of grooming.

A woman in her thirties reflects on a past 'affair' when she is contacted by someone involved in an historic sex abuse case. She has always considered it an affair with an older man, who also happened to be her teacher. The book mainly focuses on how the relationship developed with sections of how her life is in the present.

The theme ultimately is about power. The teacher is thirty years older than his student and manipulates the child - young woman - into doing what he wants while pretending that she is in control. He cannot help himself and will never do anything against her will. 'Are you sure you are ok with this' is the type of thing he frequently says. He makes her believe that she is different to other teenage girls, mature, special but also dark like him. What they are doing is illegal and she will be as much to blame as him, she has the power to destroy his career and his life. Just her.

She enjoys the power over him. Flattered that someone finds this introverted and lonely girl different, talented and attractive is what she finds the most appealing thing. Never at any point does she think of him as attractive in return. She notes his grey hairs, his protruding belly and the thick body hair and no other pleasant features. In her mind he worships her and that is exhilarating and the most sensuous experience she has known in her short life. Eventually  guilt, shame, victimhood and accountability are considered.

The subtle details in this account of grooming make this a gripping if slightly sickening read. There is sex and some of it is gratuitous made even more so by the fact that it is abusive, albeit unacknowledged as such. The story would benefit from being a little shorter as the parts following her move from the school (thus the end of the grooming and relationship) are a little aimless and lack the tension of the earlier story. The character's habit of chewing inside her cheek is overused to the point where is becomes trite and a tad irritating.

There is no doubt that this book is of its time in as much as the investigation of historic abuse and how we, as a global society, consider these situations. But, unlike Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, which is consistently referenced, this book will not become a classic in that way. Valuable nonetheless, it is worth reading for the discussion it provokes.

I read this book after all the controversy. I know people have their own opinions on all that so I wanted to read this purely for what it is & to judge it on literary merit alone. Suffice to say this book blew me away. The writing is concise, piercing & beautiful. KER handles this incredibly painful & problematic subject with grace, bravery & sensitivity. Her characterisation is flawless. I feel I have learnt so much from reading this book - about my own history & that of those around me. This is a stunning tour de force & I am waiting with bated breath for whatever she writes next. A must read.

I have previously (twice - about a month ago) written a thought-through review for My Dark Vanessa, only for it to evaporate into the ether. This one, then, will be shorter. 

This is an intelligent novel exploring the concept of a student-teacher relationship. It would be easy, as many novels have done, to create a lily-white young victim and a monstrous predator. And to an extent, that is what Vanessa and Mr Strane are, even though neither sees the relationship quite that way.  

There are multiple time lines, one with Vanessa at school as her relationship with Mr Strane takes off. Then she is at college, and now, several years later, she approaches middle age as some of Mr Starne's former students feel he deserves to be exposed. 

The thing here is that Vanessa was certainly a consenting partner - and there are suggestions she might even have initiated the relationship. And it seems that Vanessa was starting a pattern, having a relationship with another tutor who, ironically, seems to be a friend of Mr Strane. Vanessa does not see herself as a victim and is appalled at the idea of joining some kind of class action against her former (and perhaps continuing) lover. 

Strane, on the other hand, is a very disturbing creation. He plays power games. He asks Vanessa to role play a father-daughter scenario. He is always Mr Strane; there is never even the slightest hint of equality. And he maintains contact, and maintains this domineering contact even as Vanessa is an adult. As the journalists circle, looking for blood, Vanessa and Mr Strane send each other text messages. 

My Dark Vanessa is a creepy and unsettling read that makes one question some aspects of the Me Too movement and, most of all, question how we should respond to a victim who refuses to see herself as such.

My Dark Vanessa can not at all be described as an enjoyable read, but it is a thought provoking and compelling one. It tells the story of Vanessa and her relationship with her teacher when she was fifteen years old. Rather than playing the victim she truly believes what they had was special. But when other confessions from other girls start to come forward Vanessa realises she might not have been as special or unique as she thought. It’s an interesting viewpoint to give on a very hot topic at the moment in the height of #MeToo. Vanessa’s narrative makes for a hard read as she defends and pines after her abuser. The plot brings up important discussion points on the ideas of rape and the views of society – as well as highlights the failing of the school systems at that point in time. The teacher Strane is a well-developed character – we hear all of his manipulation and justifications through her and as a reader we beg her to see sense and leave him. 

The book itself changes perspective between flashbacks of the past when Vanessa is fifteen and the present where she is in her thirties and still trying to move on. My only criticism here was in the Kindle edition I read it was a little hard to tell the time jumps as they seemed to occur randomly within chapters which made it a little jolting. Perhaps a heading with the date for each jump or a simple ‘Now’ and ‘Then’ would have helped this out a little. In general, the book also seemed a little too long, although the story was engaging, we could have done with a little less of some sections - particularly towards the end. I felt the ending was a little disappointing – a missed opportunity but perhaps that is what makes the book feel realistic – there is no neat fairy-tale ending to tie it all together.

Although emotionally hard to read in places the book is engaging and flowed easily. You are easily drawn to see Vanessa’s point of view and you feel her pain throughout. Some parts of the book are triggering and uncomfortable but that’s to be expected with this subject matter. 

Overall, My Dark Vanessa is a dark, uncomfortable, powerful and compelling read – just make sure to read the blurb before deciding if it’s for you. Thank you to NetGalley & 4th Estate for the chance to read the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

It’s difficult to review this book as I felt uncomfortable reading some parts of it but had to keep on reading to find out whether Vanessa would come to any resolution about what happened to her. It’s such a complicated, many-layered novel, a little long perhaps but brilliantly written. It’s gripping despite the often harrowing subject matter. This book probably isn’t for everyone and at times I questioned why I was reading it but decided it was because the writing was so good and I cared deeply about what happened to Vanessa. I so wanted her to be okay. It’s a powerful and absorbing read and it makes you think. The narrative works very well all from Vanessa’s perspective and at times I thought, ‘How can she think that?’ but of course she was just 15 and what happened to her coloured the rest of her life. A difficult, impressive read.

Quite a difficult story line to read to be honest, but sadly that’s part of life. I thought it was well very put together and well written. 

Thank you NetGalley for my complimentary copy in return for my honest review.

My Dark Vanessa puts you in the head of Vanessa who at 15 has sex with her English teacher and build within her the idea of this grand love story. However 32 we see the effects this has had on her life and when other women come forward to say that they have been abused by the same English teacher Vanessa focuses in on her life to question all that has happened. 
This book is not an easy read. It does not shy away from the details of what happens to Vanessa. There is not let up from her thoughts and feelings as you are constantly in her head. This does make for compelling reading.
My only criticism is that the book is maybe a touch too long.

https://medium.com/@LexBrookman/recommendation-my-dark-vanessa-by-kate-elizabeth-russell-6286013b9cab

My Dark Vanessa is really strong stuff. It is a powerful novel about a girl who is brainwashed into believing that her abuse is love. Vanessa's affair with Jacob Strane ruins her life while he is free to abuse vulnerable girls again and again. This book made me so angry about what was done to Vanessa, and reinforced over the years. It as if Vanessa has been poisoned by her teacher, and cannot live a normal life. The Vanessa that she ought to have been has been killed, emotionally. It is so well realised and really puts you into Vanessa's head and heart. Five stars.

#Gifted: I obtained this arc for free via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

*Trigger Warning*

This book contains references of rape, death and drug use.

Personally what drew me to the book was the fact I have spoken to some older men online over the last couple years who made me question how good natured they were.

It was a disturbing read (I found myself only wanting to read 10-20 pages over a day) yet well written. A traumatic topic openly addressed.

The chapters move between 2000 and 2017, which ultimately meet up by the end of the book. It’s this kind of back and fourth that brings out a strong reaction in the reader. It had me thinking about the strangeness of adolescence: the juxtaposition of being a child but constantly told you’re the now and future…

Vanessa, now an adult, dealing with the rape of her fifteen year old self.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book has been on my radar for months so I was interested to find out if it would live up to it’s advanced praise and it certainly did. My Dark Vanessa is not an easy book to read. It is dark and it is disturbing but it is also essential reading which will leave a lasting indelible impression on it’s readers. The book follows Vanessa both in the past, when she was 15 and had an intimate relationship with her english teacher, Jacob Strane and also in 2017 as a 32 year old woman in the midst of numerous allegations against powerful men and also against Strane himself.

My Dark Vanessa is incredibly complex in the way it portrays Vanessa’s story. I recently read an article in The Guardian featuring the author, Kate Elizabeth Russell and I think it gets straight to the point of what I think is so powerful about this book. Russell talks about not giving in to the pressure to create a ‘likeable victim’  which, to be honest, Vanessa is not. Vanessa is difficult to warm to, stubborn and generally unsympathetic to abuse victims, all of which makes her character hard to empathise with. But the point is, why does a victim’s personality or likeability make any difference whatsoever to what has been done to her? It’s an interesting question and one I’ve been thinking about a lot since reading this book. I liked that My Dark Vanessa is entirely from Vanessa’s point of view and never crosses into the perpetrator’s psyche. Strane is a detestable man and his manipulation and grooming is so obvious to the reader, but Vanessa’s perspective shows us how insidiously clever men like him are in the way they make it seem like everything is the victim’s choice, assigning them the allusion of agency to lessen their own disgraceful behaviour in their minds. It is so crucial to witness this behaviour in a way that, whilst uncomfortable and anger-inducing, is also so very important.

I could go on and on about how well written and nuanced My Dark Vanessa is but honestly I would just say – read it. It is so current, challenging and deserves a huge amount of praise and attention for starting a very difficult conversation.