Unfortunately, I could not finish this book, however, I appreciate the opportunity. Thank you, Netgalley.

Friendships can be intense in adolescence, when young people are struggling to define themselves. Friendships can be a tool for one defining themselves in relation to their close friends, but it can also turn into a barrier to struggle against. This book explores a best friendship that is struggling to accommodate the changes two young women are experiencing. Using the alternating chapter perspective that's really popular in YA romance was an interesting and insightful choice.

Really enjoyed this, I felt it was quite relatable probably to most people - it definitely made me think about the friendships I haven't pit enough effort into recently. I look forward to reading more by this author. Thank you

We Used To Be Friends is a friendship break-up book, a character-driven story about James and Kat and everything that leads them to not be friends anymore. Alternating chapters between the two girls, while also jumping the time around, the story retells their senior year. From James's mom leaving to Kat coming out as bisexual, the year is emotional charge and very intense. Their friendship changes and they slowly grow apart. This was what brought me to the story, to be honest, and what I found instead was a very underdeveloping mess that didn't have a point.

James and Kat are both very messy characters and that's fine. Kat is self-center, trying so hard to please everyone, she loves the spotlight and throws herself into relationships forgetting other people around her. James doesn't want things to change, she loves the steady and constant relationship she has and when things start to go all wrong everywhere, she doesn't know how to cope. She's jealous and lashes out, hurting everyone around her. There's so much miscommunication, so many grievances never aired between them. As we see more of their senior year, I was kind of rooting for their break-up. It's clear that their friendship is not healthy anymore and they both need to grow.

But that's the thing, the story is so flat. It starts with August after senior year, James reaching out to Kat, and then it goes back to show everything that happened between them in that year. But also, how they experienced so many things by themselves, changing on their own. But in terms of character development, we get nothing. We see their flaws, their flaws are called out, but nothing happens about that. The story starts and ends in the same place and I don't really care about them. There's no point to the story; we know they're going to break-up, the break-up happens but we don't really see the emotional toll it has on them, and they really don't change for the better at all. Why should I care about two white girls fighting and being just the worst? I promise friendship break-up, I was expecting heartbreak and gut-punch conversations and so much grief. And that's not what I got. I got nothing.

This is supposedly a character-driven story, you're supposed to care about them and their relationship, that's the whole point of the story! Besides that, Amy Spalding spent so much time with the senior year when she could have given us more of their childhoods and fierce friendship. Sure, we're told that they are best friends forever but we don't really ever see that at all.

I would have preferred to see more of what happens next, especially with that whole thing of James reaching in chapter one. If we are going to believe that reconciliation is possible, I have to see if they're working to do better. Otherwise, I just don't care, better for everyone that they're not friends anymore.

ALSO a huge pet peeve, but the way Amy Spalding goes back to show a moment that the other girl already hinted about because apparently, we need to see it twice, really annoyed me. For example, from the beginning we know James breaking up with Logan is all about what happened with her mom, so why go back to show us when we have all moved on? A waste of space, really. We didn't need to see the same scenes twice, we get it, we understand what you're implying omg.

Overall, I was just really disappointed by this story and I don't want to think about it anymore. What a mess.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years it’s that relationships end. Romantic ones, friendships, and even casual acquaintances can and will come and go. That doesn’t make it any easier when they do end though. Growing up is intense and learning how to navigate the changes that occur doesn’t always come easy. We Used to Be Friends plots the senior year of Kat and James, two girls who have been best friends since kindergarten. From both perspectives, it follows the same sort of story format that the musical The Last Five Years used where each character tells the story in one order. James opens the book at the end of the summer after their senior year, as she’s about to leave for college and then Kat’s perspective starts before their senior year begins.

When I say that this story hurt, I mean it broke me in the best way possible. I had a really important friendship end when I was a junior in high school and the impact of that has followed me well into adulthood. Reading this book at 24 I wished I could have handed it to my 17 year old self. I think that it was not only comforting but also might have had me taking different steps from what I did. To see how the choices that each character made caused ripples throughout each other’s lives helped to highlight what it can take to make a friendship work. 

Kat and James are a bit of personality opposites, similar enough to make it work but when outside circumstances begin to come in between them it begins to cause a schism that ultimately changes their relationship entirely. Kat is a bit of an eternal optimist, using this to compete with anxiety about changes she experiences. James, on the other hand, experiences unexpected changes and ends up catastrophizing the events which leads to even more unexpected changes. As a teenager it’s easy to wish the best for life and to think that you have everything figured out. Being a senior can give you that invincible high on life feeling and having to accept the open endedness of the future is a struggle. It doesn’t help that high schoolers are immature, even those seniors that think they have it all figured out! When you begin to get caught up in your own issues, you can lose sight of what’s going on around you, often to the point of neglecting things you shouldn’t.

As the story unfolds, Kat sees things falling together while James sees things falling apart. They both had their own lessons to learn and while these did pull them apart, it also allowed them to grow as their own people.  Sometimes it’s easier to pretend that you have your entire life figured out and that everything will go according to plan but in the end you have to face things no matter how hard it might be. Amy Spalding did a fantastic job of weaving the pairs stories together and giving them unique voices while still being inexplicably linked. I loved seeing into each of their perspectives and connecting the dots of the overall arc as the novel progressed. 

Having a friendship end at any age is hard but when you’re in high school when things change with a “best friend for life” it can be absolutely heartbreaking. One of my favorite things about We Used to Be Friends was how open ended so many aspects of it were. Reminiscent of life itself it drove home for me the fact that there are no guarantees and there is always a chance for things to change. We want happy endings, we want things to turn out perfect, we want all of our plans to work out but that’s not something that we’re promised. This was a touching and realistic novel about growing up. It navigates those relationship changes and allows the reader to reflect on the choices that each character made. Friendships are a two way street and when you accumulate so many years with someone it’s easy to assume that nothing will ever get in the way of many more years. We might not all get the chance to reconcile or have the ability to make different choices. To put it frankly, losing friends SUCKS and this book illustrated an almost grieving process between a best friend duo. This is one of my new favorites and an easy five star rating at that. A highly cathartic read for anyone who has found themselves in a changing friendship I couldn’t recommend this more!

DNF. Thank you NetGalley and Publisher for this early copy! I decided to not keep reading this one, it was not for me. Thanks!

I gave this a three out of five stars. I did end up enjoying this and I related to the plot of the book. I could really relate to James as a character, her personality type, how she doesn't say how she feels. Also some other aspects too. I didn't really like Kat but I might have to do with a similar experience that happened to me growing up. Also, Kat was selfish to me. I liked the bisexual rep and but since this had more than one perspective, one from Kat and the other from James. I did like the bisexual rep in this as a queer women myself.

To be completely honest, I found this book to be very average. 

I've never read a book focused on a dwindling friendship between two girls in high school and I thought that that aspect of the book was fantastic. As someone who's lost a lot of friends this way and other ways, I could relate to both characters in their thoughts and feelings toward their situation. I don't think solid friendships that just fade for one reason or another are focused on enough in entertainment - from books to films - and usually, a friendship break up is always the source of some third-party intervening. So, I most definitely enjoyed this premise as it's relatable to everyone.

James and Kat were interesting characters and although it was sometimes confusing, each of their chapters jumping forward and back through their senior year made for an interesting look into their friendship. The ending was very realistic, albeit sad, and made for an even more  - sometimes - accurate story.

I thought the writing was quite good and was unique for James and Kat, however, I never felt like I really got to know them deeply individually or any their friends/significant others. Though the book was a good length and each chapter was also decent, it just didn't seem like enough.

Overall, I think this was book was good, but unfortunately not exactly my cup of tea. There were aspects I enjoyed - like the bisexual rep, the premise of the story, etc. - however it didn't exactly reach what I was hoping it would reach for.

Wanted to enjoy this title. Sadly this one fell short of the mark for me. I didnt quite understand what was going on between the MCs.

We Used to Be Friends is a YA break-up story with a twist, in that the break-up is between best friends, rather than the breakdown of a relationship. I did really appreciate how this book focused on Kat and James’ friendship and I thought it did a good job of making it clear how the two characters grew apart from each other, even when it was frustrating to read about at times. Spalding was also great at making you empathise with both characters – whichever characters POV I was reading from, was the one I was usually on side with at the time. This book is told in two POVs, one going forward in linear time and the other going backward – although I got the effect of this and it definitely made for a bittersweet ending, I don’t think it was totally necessary and could sometimes be a little jarring or confusing. Overall though I think this is a solid contemporary with frustrating but interesting characters that balances friendships, relationships and family plotlines well.

I honestly enjoyed the book. I was invested in the chat characters emotionally. My only issue was the ending. I feel like I didn’t get closure. I would have giving this five stars if they had resolved the things in the end and I know that alway happen in life but now I’m stuck wondering.

In We Used to be Friends by Amy Spalding, teen girls James and Kat experience the heartbreak of the best friend breakup. I think I would have liked the book more if it was told in a linear fashion - instead it is a dual-voice of James's story working backwards starting from when she leaves for college, and Kat's story moving forwards. I found it increasingly confusing, especially reading it as an ebook rather than print (in which I could at least flip back and forth through when I got mixed up). I think the heartbreak would've hit a lot harder if they were in tandem, as well. While James is more of a stoic character who doesn't want to tell her best friend about the tough stuff going on in her life, Kat is the one who can't stop talking about her own life and doesn't often stop to hear anyone else anyway. I've known girls like both James and Kat so I found their portrayals to be achingly real, I just still think the gut punch would've been harder if we experienced their slow break-up at the same time as them. They really go through years of inching through their falling-apart friendship as Kat meets a girlfriend who James feels replaces her, and James pulls farther and farther away. I think the forwards/backwards concept was interesting and an attempt at making a conventional writing style different, but it didn't land for me.

At the beginning of their senior year, James and Kat are best friends. By graduation they aren't speaking.
Amy Spalding tells the story of the disintegration of their friendship. 

We Used to Be Friends is told in alternating timelines. Kat's timeline moves forward in time and James's moves backward. This plot device was a little much. I think the intent is for the plot to become a puzzle that the reader tries to put together. Unfortunately, while interesting, the dueling timelines were also confusing. I had a hard time remembering if events had already happened or not as James and Kat's timelines crossed and then diverged.

What becomes clear over the course of the book is that neither James nor Kat is completely at fault or completely blameless. Both characters are unlikable at points in the story. James is not very supportive (and sometimes downright dismissive) of Kat's emerging sexuality, and Kat is too caught up in her own life to see how badly James is suffering. Both characters are also dealing with external circumstances that impact their well-being and friendship, and not everything that transpires can be laid at someone's feet.

Overall, an interesting story with some structural challenges.

This book is such a cool concept of time and storytelling. It’s super interesting for YA genre. I mean, who hasn’t lost a friend of a best friend? I know I have! Quite a few along the years. So this book definitely takes one back down memory lane with all the feels.

<i> Thank you NetGalley and Harry N. Abrams for this Advanced Copy! </i>

This was such a lovely, but bittersweet tale of fading friendship, something I feel like I have never seen in full force in a novel. 

We Used to Be Friends by Amy Spalding tells the story of childhood best friends Kat and James as they retell the events in a dual-perspective of their falling out and more during their senior year of high school as they experience break ups, college pressures, and family issues. 

The simply genius structure of this book plus extremely well-developed characters made me feel ALL the emotions. The book discusses a lot of topics and the dynamics between James and Kat left me with the bittersweet feelings of lost friendship, while leaving hope for the future.

I recommend this to anyone who enjoys a good coming-of-age or friendship based book and I can only leave you with a box of tissues you might need. :')

I really liked how this book told the story of this friendship from both points of view and from different time points (one beginning at the beginning of the school year and one at the end). It was a unique perspective. I think anyone would be able to relate to this book. It was a good read.

James and Kat have always been two peas in a pod...until they're not. By the time they both reach graduation they no longer talk. The story is told in two timelines - essential the before and after. Some of the chapters focus on moving forward, while others talk about the past. I have to admit at first this was really confusing to me - but once I understood I really liked the concept. My main thing in books is I always want to see what happens after the conclusion, so this was a good medium to getting more of what the readers want. 

This book hit really close to me as I had gone through a situation similar to this recently and felt like I could relate so much to the characters and the story. When Kat gets her first girlfriend things start to change her relationship with James.  Unknowingly to Kat, James has been dealing with her own personal demons. After finding out that her only image of love (her parents) are getting divorced things start to spiral down after that point in time. James starts sharing less and less with Kat until the two have an explosive fight that leaves them no longer speaking. 

It just really goes to show that no matter how long you're friends with someone, all of it can change within a moment in time. The ending of the book made me hopeful in realizing that sometimes friends will always be there for you no matter what has happened.

We Used To Be Friends by Amy Spalding tells the story of two best friends who were once inseparable, but life happens and now they are growing further and further apart.  

I enjoyed the format of dual timelines as we are able to delve into the girls’ own struggles separately and really understand where the conflict is coming from. One is scared of what the future holds, while the other is anticipating the road ahead and is more than ready to find out what is out there for her. It’s a problem I’m sure everyone can relate to at any age and I’m glad this book brings it to light. However, the girls’ personal relationships take a backseat in this novel as this book centers around their friendship and the relationship they have with each other. 

The friendship between James and Kis the kind of friendship that any person would be lucky to have.  The constant hourly texting, the weird telepathy that only you and your best friend have. However, this novel does not shy away from the problems that you may only experience when you have that kind of friendship with someone-- feeling of uncertainty when you feel the dynamic change, when it’s not just you and the bestie anymore, and the struggle of having to find time for each other when life gets in the way. 

I guess the gradual breakdown of their friendship is what broke my heart the most because you could just see how pure and relatable the characters were, and it made you want to shake them for not doing what should’ve been done, but at the same time understanding their actions. I guess this novel teaches us that while you could have the strongest friendship with someone at the end of the day, we are all separate people that live separate lives and deal with our own separate struggles. 

This book tells the raw truth of friendship breakups. It is painful but its realistically possible- and I think this book captures the essence of that perfectly. 

4 stars 

Thank you NetGalley and Amulet Books for providing me with an advanced reader's copy of 'We Used to be Friends' by Amy Spalding

I found this book kind of hard to get into. I really loved the characters but the plot felt a little pointless and disorienting. I wished it had more of a clear ending and that the plot points felt more momental.

The synopsis of this title had me hooked. Unfortunately the book itself fell flat. The characters didn’t connect me to the book in any way. This was not a ya book I recommend.