I don't think I liked this one as well as I was meant to. Its a standard plot - long term friends suddenly find they are growing apart. There's the initial grasping, desperate effort to keep their relationship in its former state, the sudden realization of all the annoyances previously ignored or forgiven, and eventual dislike. This one adds in the element of telling the two sides of the story from two directions. This is meant to show us both perspectives at equal wight, so we can understand both and not take either character's side. Looking at it objectively you can see how both girls are in the wrong. I can't help but favor one perspective over the other though, meaning that we resent one character and are more inclined to forgive the other. With neither character especially likeable, I'm inclined to pass on this one.

Amy Spalding "We Used To Be Friends"

What an amazing story that is utterly relatable for anyone who have ever had a falling out of friendship. The story is about James and Kat told in alternating first person point of view, A wonderful contemporary YA novel that is told in dual timelines half of the chapters are moving forward and the other half is moving backward. I loved the way the chapters were told that really moved the story pacing well. It is a wonderful story of childhood bestfriends who were inseparable growing up and now have grown apart. We used to be friends is a wonderful and poignant story that you will love for the characters and the relatable story line.

I loved the premise of this book, I really don't think that enough books focus on what happens when you stop being friends with someone. This book also deals with that tricky time when you leave high school and move onto further education. It can be such an odd time with people moving all over the country and friendships and relationships being tested and so I am pleased there is finally a book covering this topic. 

Kat and James are great characters to get to know over the course of this novel. They have each other as friends, or not as the case may be but they are totally full characters in their own rights with their own issues with relationships and family and issues surrounding their all important college applications.  James is a very closed off person, I would have liked t get to know her more as  reader but I understand that this was a character choice on the part of the author. I love the fact that we have LGBTQ+ representation in our main characters as well. 

This books is structured as a dual narrative with James's storyline working backwards and Kat's storyline working forwards so it can be a little tough to get your head into a different time frame with each chapter. I would probably say that this book is best enjoyed in its physical form so that you could flick back and forth and remind yourself of what was happening to the other character during that time, this was harder to do with an audio. I am a massive fan of a dual narrative though and I like the fact that we get to see how one thing affects the other friend in the way that this book is structured. 

I did feel like this book dragged at times. I enjoyed what was happening in the plot and with the characters 100% of the time but I'm not a fan of long chapters or leaving a book before I get to the end of a chapter but I had to do that with this book because each chapter is pretty lengthy. That is one thing that I would change about his novel, I think it could have read slightly quicker with slightly shorter chapters. I really like the subject matter, the character and the way it is structured though and it was definitely and enjoyable read.

This book absolutely broke my heart.

I think it's not a particularly original thought to point out that we don't really consider friendships ending as a breakup, but they actually really are. We tell our friends everything, and James and Kat have been friends for so long that their friendship is basically the defining one of their lives. James knew Kat's mom (who has since died) and that's such an important and actually kind of precious thing. 

One of my best friends from back home mentioned that one of the best things about us is that we know the other person's backstory and context, and that's what I kept thinking of here. James and Kat know the entire backstory. There's no real explanation that needs to happen for anything because they know; they were there. So the fracturing of that relationship was really painful for me to read. 

It's almost worse because it's so senseless. It's not like there was one thing that happened. Like real life, it's a ton of little things. And while I definitely am on one side, I could also see the other side, too. One side is more right, but both have valid points.

Highly recommended but be aware that you'll want to call your own best friend after.

I requested this book from NetGalley because the premise seemed interesting with alternating points of view during alternate timelines. My main concern going in was that it was going to get confusing.

However, it wasn't as confusing as I thought. The writing was simple and this was truly a fast-pace story. Unfortunately, We Used to Be Friends fell a little flat for me in certain areas. I was interested in exploring a friend break up kind of story, but the more I read the more I ended up disliking one of the main characters James. Throughout the novel I found James to be acting immaturely. 

James gets upset and eventually very bitter that her best friend, Kat, meets someone new, a girl named Quinn, and eventually begins to date her. The story didn't come across as two people who outgrew each other but rather James couldn't stop being immature long enough to communicate with Kat. Kat made a new friend and wanted to explore her sexuality and James got jealous. 

I definitely didn't get the ending I was hoping for, as I felt like the ending had no real resolution.

Disclaimer: I received an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. Thanks to Netgalley.

Friend break-ups are an unfortunate and painful reality we don’t talk about nearly enough in society, so I was glad to see a YA book address this! And oof, a lot of this ended up hitting closer to home than I expected–with the best friend drifting apart, yes, but also discussions about college, class differences, romantic relationships, and bisexuality. And I originally felt a little disconnected from the book because I didn’t go to a public high school!

This book has a very specific structure, where James’ story starts at the end (the summer after senior year) and goes backward through time to the beginning, and Kat’s goes in the opposite direction. They mostly alternate months, so you don’t see the exact same scenes over again, and you get to see the pieces connect (although I wished I had a physical copy so I could flip back and forth to double-check months) and experience them together and apart. I found the beginning to feel exposition-heavy and a bit neat with the writing–the dialogue is definitely a bit cutesy if witty–but I felt less that way going on, and the situations are anything but neat. While Kat and James definitely had different personalities, outlooks, and voices…I’m not sure that always carried into the actual prose.

Because the story takes place over a year, each character really just narrates every other month, and and there isn’t quite a beginning, there were times where I felt like I was missing pieces of character relationships. But ultimately, it’s all the little things that pull these characters apart. There are a few big confrontations, yes, but both characters have so much going on in their lives from their parents (Kat’s widower dad is dating again; James’ parents’ perfect high school sweatheart marriage breaks up), to relationships (Kat’s boyfriend cheats on her and they breakup, then she falls in love with a girl; James re-evaluates her committed relationship to her now-college boyfriend after her parents split), to major college decisions, to parties. New people get in the way, new developments fail to be reported between them, all creating an atmosphere for distrust and drifting apart. And maybe, their personalities and paths just aren’t as compatible anymore. I really appreciated that both characters were not always likable, and neither was necessarily 100% right about her view of the other.

As I mentioned earlier, Kat and James have a distinct way of speaking and thinking, and that extends to the numerous text conversations (or lack of texting) throughout. Now, the Kindle version of the ARC was not great for formatting this, but I believe there are actually emojis in the text, which is great and I’ve been wondering if publishing and YA specifically has started to include this. (I’m such a nerd when it comes to digital linguistics.)

A couple of other quick things I liked: how grounded the LA setting was, as well as the school social structures, and how Kat’s girlfriend Quinn was so insistent about being seen as a person and not as something perfect.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Throughout my long reading history I have never before come across a book about a friendship breakup. I've lived through many and they're never exactly fun, so I wanted to see how Spalding would tackle it. Having read and enjoyed one of her previous books (The Summer of Jordi Perez) I knew that I could expect realistic and flawed characters and honest writing that doesn't shy away from the hard stuff.

Spalding perfectly captured that painful and slow feeling of growing apart that comes with losing a friendship you've had since childhood. Kat and James both felt they had reason to blame the other - and they were each justified from their own perspective. It takes two, after all.

The story is told in an unusual format - dual perspectives running across different timelines. Both girls tell us their senior year from their point of view, but James' begins at the end of the year and works forwards, while Kat's goes from beginning to end. I found it quite disconcerting for at least the first half, it's quite hard to wrap your head around where you are, especially if you leave off in the middle of a chapter. It doesn't come into full effect until the ending, which, OOF, was a punch to my feelings.

I did struggle to get through this novel. While I thought the ending was very well executed, I skimmed a lot of the middle. I just couldn't connect with the characters and found the format so confusing. I think both girls were well formed and realistic but I personally found them tiring. Seeing all the things each one has done wrong from the other's perspective put me off both of them and made me feel slightly like they'd be better off without each other.

I think Spalding has told and important story here and really filled a gap in the market. I personally struggled with the characters and formatting but I would say this is definitely a worthwhile read, especially for anyone who's experienced the unique pain of a friendship breakup.

“I had no idea how you could stand right next to someone and yet have no clue how to get back to them. Though I guess that now it’s more that I’m standing behind someone.”

This book. This book, you guys. We Used to be Friends follows two girls, James and Kat as their friendship dissolves. It’s no one’s fault and no one person is totally to blame, just something that sometimes happens- you grow up and you grow apart. This book is told in alternating points of view. James’ part of the story is told backward, reflecting over her senior year of high school while preparing to leave for college and Kat’s is told forward, following her through her exciting senior year.

If you’ve gone through a friend breakup I highly recommend reading this book. So many times you read about heartbreak and it’s linked to a romantic relationship and so while you can somewhat relate, you can feel like it doesn’t apply to you. But the first thing James does is state that her biggest heartbreak came from her friendship with Kat falling through. It’s important to note that while you might identify with one character or another, neither is blamed in this book. As you get to know the characters through their POVs you see that neither is a bad person, neither did something unforgivable for their friendship. You can absolutely see where each of them is coming from.

This book broke my heart. I think this is a very important book that many, teens and adults alike, will relate to. There is so many books focused on romantic love and heartbreak, but platonic relationships are just as important. And as Amy Spalding shows here, they are just as heart breaking.

I really enjoyed We Used to Be Friends; it's a book that's right up my street - a coming of age tale with a bit of drama. Amy Spalding does such a good job of telling both sides of the story - both characters are represented so well so that yes, they can be frustrating, but you can absolutely see where each of them are coming from. It's utterly heartbreaking and I think it will resonate with, well, pretty much everyone. Each person that reads this book will find something to relate to and, hopefully, find a new perspective on a familiar situation. The only complaint I have is that it was a little difficult to get into the story thanks to the structure of the timelines but if you stick with it it's easy enough to get used to.

*Thank you to Netgalley and Amulet Books for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review. *

“I had no idea you could stand right next to someone and yet have no clue how to get back to them.”

Kat and James were once Inseparable. They’ve been friends since kindergarten and have always expected their friendship to last forever. Now as senior year gets to a close and life becomes more hectic, both girls slowly drift apart and begin to see that sometimes forever doesn’t always mean for life.

This book SHATTERED my heart. I haven’t cried while reading in so long and damn!!, Amy Spalding really doesn’t pull punches.

I loved both Kat and James. Did I get angry at them?? HELL YES! However, I could see both sides. They were going through so much. James was dealing with both her parents’ divorce and her recent breakup, while Kat was discovering she’s both bisexual and in love with her friend Quinn, while still grieving the death of her mother.

The romance between Kat and Quinn was nice and brought some light to the heartache, I do think at times it took over the plot slightly but not too much. The book was still very much friendship focused.

The timeline in which the story was told did confuse me. It went back and forth between different months- for example, James would be in November and Kat would be in April etc.- I get how it all lead to their friendship ending but as someone who tends to breeze past the chapter headings, sometimes I forgot. Some chapters were also much longer than they needed to be.

Overall, while it’s sometimes a hard read, I highly recommend this book. We Used to Be Friends is a shout-out to anyone who has lost and understands how painful losing a friendship can be.

“It’s incredible how I can act like a girl who still has a best friend.”

I’m delighted that this book is out there for teenagers and adults alike. We need more books like this, that highlight friendship-breakups, because they HURT.

I’ve read more books than I can count about romantic relationships of all kinds, from new relationships to relationships that are falling apart, but before now, I’ve never read a book that’s all about the end of a friendship.

We Used To Be Friends is the story of two childhood best friends, Kat and James (a girl with a boy’s name), during their senior year of high school. At the beginning, they are as close as two people can be, certain that they’re going to be friends for the rest of their lives. By the end, they’re not even speaking.

The fact that I’ve gone this long without encountering a book with such an emphasis on a platonic breakup is astounding, because who hasn’t experienced something like this? When you’re young, you think you’re going to stay friends with the same people for the rest of your life, but that usually doesn’t happen. This book captures the end of a friendship perfectly: it’s not always one big, dramatic moment that marks a breakup like in a romantic relationship, but a slow decline as you drift apart. And that can be even more painful.

The story is told in two timelines, one moving forward and one moving backward, like in the musical The Last Five Years (the title of this post is a reference, in case you didn’t catch that). James’ POV begins after the end of their senior year when she’s leaving for college, then moves backward to the beginning of senior year, while Kat’s begins then and moves in the opposite direction.

Even though this method of storytelling was confusing for a bit, I can’t imagine this book being nearly as effective without it. We truly don’t get to see the full picture until we see the whole story through both of their points of view. And the amount of dramatic irony is unreal; there were so many moments that I knew something was going on with one character, but the other character didn’t know, and I just wanted to scream at both of them. Plus, it made the ending even more painful.

Kat and James were both wonderfully complex and flawed characters. Kat, falling in love and starting to believe in a future she could be happy about, while James, in the wake of her parents’ divorce, shutting herself off from people and tearing down everything good in her life. From each of their own POVs, they were sympathetic and understandable, but from the other’s, they were frustrating and selfish. It was so clear how each of them felt justified in their own actions and their annoyance with the other.

Everything about this book felt so real, from the teenage interactions to the gradual decline of the friendship. It captured the sense of uncertainty at the end of high school, right when everything is about to change and you don’t know what’s going to last and what’s not. This book was melancholy, thought-provoking, frustrating, and hopeful all at once, and I definitely recommend it.

I'll be completely honest and say that the cover was the exact reason I picked this book. I like LGBT and best friend battles in young adult novels, but the cover is what really got me. The curiosity of what makes these two best friends separate is what pulled me in through the beauty of the front of the book. 

I thought We Used to Be Friends was very realistic. I think that Amy Spalding did a great job taking the reader into the background to watch everything unfold right along the characters. The plot was very refreshing as it was something I haven't really read before. I really do believe that this was an honest story and you really got to see the truth behind friends growing apart, no matter how long they've been friends for. It's a very real thing.

The only reason why I had a little trouble with this book was the timeline and the characters. The timeline is shown at the beginning of each chapter. Make sure to pay attention to this, very closely, or you will be confused. I had to go back a few times to remind myself if I was before or after "senior year" and how long it had been month-wise. James' story is told from the end and Kat's is told from the beginning. It was kind of hard to follow along.

With the characters, I feel like it was a little complicated because I became frustrated with some of them. I really enjoyed the dads in this book, but the main characters were tough on me. I had a really hard time with Kat and James. They were pretty interested in making sure each other knew that they had issues with the friendships but never really took the blame on themselves. I understand that they're young and that's how life works when you're young, but I feel as though I couldn't see the growth behind them because of that.

Lastly, I think that the ending was a little too much... left for interpretation? The ending definitely is up to the reader. When reading, I wish it had more of a direct ending instead of an ambiguous one where we have to think and decide what it is. 

Overall, I think that if I were a couple years younger, I would've liked this book more. It's definitely a high school (or fresh-out of) story. It's definitely a book that I would read again and recommend to those with children in high school or high school students.

Amy Spalding is a great author. I have read almost all of her lighter, romantic comedies such as Kissing Ted Callaghan (2015) and The Reese Malcolm List (2013), and always enjoyed her fully developed characters and those awkward but often hilarious scenarios that were easy to relate to. Her latest novel We Used to Be Friends, takes a more serious approach to what is often treated as a sub-plot in many YA contemporaries—the friendship between two teenage girls.

James and Kat have been friends forever. But it’s easy to see right from the start, that they are very different people—James is a runner, introverted committed to her five-year plan. Kat is outgoing, popular, living day to day. Her mother died a few years back and her older brother is now away at college, and she just wants the best senior year experience she can have. James, an only child, is the offspring of high school sweethearts and as we start the novel, everything is about to unravel.

We read Kat’s story from the beginning of senior year, right through to leaving home for college. Arriving home after summer break, Kat’s boyfriend confesses to cheating on her ‘because (he) was bored’… and …’it meant nothing’… Dumping him will result in huge changes, including meeting a vivacious girl (so, actually I am bi? Okay then), changing lunch tables and broadening her social circle.

But before we meet Kat, we hear James’s narrative voice. And she begins at the end. She is about to head off to her chosen college, her friendship with Kat is over, and as she leaves her house with her father, she asks if they can drop in to visit mum before we go… what the? It’s all topsy‑turvey. And from there, alternately, we are with Kat as she moves forward to the end of senior year and move backwards with James to the beginning.

I felt more sympathy towards James’s plight, but feel I received more information about Kat’s. Clearly the backwards timeline didn’t satisfy as much especially because there’s a strong sense of anxiety growing as we get closer to the disaster that occurs to completely overwhelm her. Kat’s acceptance of her true sexual orientation and of the new woman in his father’s life never feel as tumultuous as James’s situation. As well, as is reflective of James’s nature, her voice is starker, more direct and not as emotional. Whereas Kat shares and shares (and shares).

There are many gaps in a narrative like this, which I very much appreciate and admire. It’s the author’s skill that allows readers to follow the threads and fill in spaces, and I like a book that keeps me actively engaged. While some might not want to work that hard, rewards are there for people who persist. Of course, my bug bear is again on display—a book like this is much better as a print copy. I wanted to flick back through James’s section when I finally reached Kat’s versions, and sometimes it was impossible to find the corresponding bit (Did James talk about prom? It’s a crucial element of Kat realising how far she and James had lost their way, and I wanted to review James’s input, and no amount of searching took me there).

Thanks to Netgalley and publisher for this advanced copy. Highly recommended for readers who want more depth about non-romantic relationships. While both girls’ love interests play a part, the focus is on the breakdown of James and Kat’s inability to reach out to each other when their own world view shifts significantly. It’s a mature read, with discussions about sex and underage drinking at parties. Bisexuality is representative positively, and diversity is strong and convincing. We Used to be Friends is released in the US on January 7. I hope we see it here in Australia soon.

I really liked this book, it was so interesting to read! It took me a second to get used to the timelines flipping, but once I did, I really loved the lay out! Great story and great writing.

I liked this, I liked the way it was told both backwards in time and forwards in time. I liked Jamest best

It is often said that friendship break-ups can be harder than romantic ones, that the loss of a friend whom you considered would forever be a part of your life is more earth shattering than one might expect. And yet we so rarely discuss friendships ending in media at any great length, hardly examine it beyond the surface. So, I'm beyond thrilled this book exists in the world and I hope it helps start a new trend in books for all ages. Spalding handles the subject deftly, with heart and humor.

"By the time you realize you're thirsty, it's too late. You're already dehydrated. Therefore, it stands to reasons that if you feel the end coming, you're already there."
This was such a bittersweet book - in the best way. I just feel really sad and filled with pain about this friendship that just falls apart over time. It definitely hooks you and pulls you into the story. You're so invested you feel the heartbrea and pain alongside Kat and James.

I loved that this story was told in two timelines. From James, we go backward from graduation to the beginning of senior year. We know all that she's been through (and kept secret) throughout the year and how much it's weighed on her. From Kat, we go forward and we see her grow into herself and a new relationship with Quinn as she discovers that she's bisexual.

The story just felt so real and raw. Neither James nor Kat were the perfect friend - James internalized all of her problems, and Kat was kinda self absorbed - but to see them just fall apart hurts in a specific way. It's this settled discomfort and loss that doesn't quite go away and Amy Spalding captured it perfectly.

I enjoyed this book, the storyline and characterisations were effective and realistic. I didn't overly enjoy the way the story was presented, with one character's story going backwards and the other forwards, I think telling the story from two different voices would have been enough to satisfy me and keep me interested in the story. I would be interested in reading the book in chronological order if it were ever to be published that way. I genuinely feel that good storytelling does not need to engage in 'high concept' gimmicks like this - and this story and the writing are both strong enough to stand on their own.

This is an important novel for YA literature. Most people as they get older have already experienced the heartache of losing touch with friends or growing apart from friends and this book beautifully shows that. Hopefully, this novel will prepare younger readers for things like this to happen in life. It doesn’t always but it is so difficult to maintain a solid friendship over years and years especially when you move away from each other or big life events happen and you can no longer relate to each other. My only complaint with this book was that it was a tad repetitive in the middle especially with each girl’s internal monologues about their friendship. I loved the format of this book! It took me a while to get used to it but having one girl’s story start from the beginning and one girl’s story start from the end had me in my feels for the entirety of the novel.

Posted to goodreads here -> https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3073604575
(to be posted on my instagram soon...)

I thought the concept and content of the book were really beautiful but I just struggled with the duel perspective