⭐ ⭐  1/2

I really, really, really wanted to enjoy this book a lot more. I had high hopes based on the subject/s and the important matters covered (rape, abortion, abuse, etc).  But, I just didn't.  

This book follows Izzy (a teenager) and her mom who have finally had "enough" and go to a safe space to get away from the abuse of Daniel, husband and step father. Izzy is also dealing with her own problems (including both her step father and boy at school)...  my heart hurt for all of these issues as I know these are issues that many females deal with in real life.

However, the execution of this story was just NOT there.  I didn't like how it bounced all over, I didn't like the writing style at all and I felt absolutely nothing for these two ladies (minus hurt knowing people actually deal with this in life).  These characters were super undeveloped to me, I felt nothing for them and knew nothing about them besides the pain they went through in life.

I was so happy these women in the book were strong. They used their voices and they ran. They stood up for themselves and got help and safety.  But, that's all that I enjoyed.  Unfortunately, I was just bored.   I didn't really care about the story - I'm sad to say that because of the subject matter.  It just didn't do it for me.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this book!

This book was quite the surprise! I admit that the beginning was really slow for me, but by the middle point the story really held my attention and I loved the focus on self-care in the latter chapters and the ending not being too stereotypical. 
There are a lot of trigger warnings for this story. That's not to say that you shouldn't read this because The Sky Is Mine certainly is an important, and life-changing read, but there are triggers that you have to be aware of before going into this book.

Thank you @netgalley, @oneworldpublications, and @beashelwrites for my arc in exchange for my honest review. This book has been on the back burner for quite some times. For some reason, I kept thinking the pub date got pushed back due to the pandemic, but alas, I was looking at the wrong block of information 🤦🏽‍♀️, so without further ado, my review for the lovely book!

This debut novel definitely covers some heavy topics. Trigger warnings: rape, domestic violence, mental/ physical abuse, and toxic relationships. 

However, within this story, you'll find there is hope and love. Both the MC and her mom goes through some major character development and you can't help but continously root for them. It is a powerful book with a message just as strong.

Heartbreaking, emotional, and beautiful! I would highly recommend this!

This is such an important theme and this book needs to be read every person out there. So beautiful and to know that this is a debut is only setting up high expectations for the author

I flew through this book so quickly, it was highly triggering for me to read at some points as i have myself recently left an abusive marriage, although it was never physical, the psychological scars are still there, and that is the thing, you cannot see these bruises on your heart, but you can feel them, they are always there!

I highlighted so many passages in this book, that i had to come up with my own colour coding, Yellow for abuse (Physical/Mental) Blue for Izzy the MC Gaslighting herself, and Red for her mother Gaslighting herself, and Orange for anyone else!!

This is just horrific, the poor girl is just being abused everywhere by everyone, her step father is not only abusing her, but also her mother, and she is too controlled by him to speak out about it.
And now she is getting abused and raped by the local scumbag school kid.

This was a really good read, but please be aware that this could be extremely triggering for some people to read about the abuse, and although it isn't graphic, there are clear cases of Gaslighting and Manipulation that scream RED FLAGS even when other people are saying "Aww isn't that nice how much he cares for you"

3.5/5.
I do like the writing style, and thought that it fit the story well. And it was nice to have a good ending in which the characters each seek healing for themselves. But I had trouble getting into this book at the beginning, and to be honest, to me it only really seemed to pick up a little bit into the book. I love Harry and every scene he was in as well.
I appreciate how this book tackles a lot of really tough issues, but also found it difficult to focus on each one. Every new problem seemed to come out of left field and took me by surprise, which I suppose is the point. And even though these issues SHOULD be talked about, which each one I realized that reading about that much abuse puts a strain on the reader as well. I hadn't necessarily expected to read about such tough topics, so I found myself a bit off put when each one came up. The story is important, and some parts were very powerful, but it was also very character driven as opposed to plot-driven, which might have contributed to me having some trouble getting into the book.

First of all, thanks to NetGalley and Rock the Boat for approving my request and sending me an eARC in exchange for a honest review.
You have to know English isn’t my first language, so feel free to correct me if I make some mistakes while writing this review.

 
CONTENT WARNING: domestic violence, blackmail, psychological manipulation, verbal abuse, abuse towards animals, fat-shaming, slut-shaming, dubious consent, actions carried out under duress, harassment, rape, abortion.


If you know me, you know that I find it hard to relate to books in which domestic violence is present - but it happens especially if the victim is the protagonist and things are narrated from her point of view.
Maybe it's because I am presumptuous in thinking that I am so self-centered and so "emotionally detached" since I already have too many problems to deal with, to think that I would allow someone else to exercise control and violence on me.

But here the protagonist is Izzy, who is seventeen, and her mother is the one who is mainly a victim of Daniel - but Izzy is also not exempt from it.
Except that it was easier to relate to Izzy, even if my family situation is the opposite of hers fortunately. But I felt Izzy close anyway - with the body she despises, with the parties where she feels uncomfortable, with the distance that is growing with her best friend when she's too busy with her girlfriend Nell.

We had a lot in common, Izzy and I.

There's so much Izzy can't talk about - and when she wants to, she always gets told by the other person that they have no time or that it's not the right moment and can't it be postponed until later?

Izzy misses the life she had before - the life before Daniel.
Before Daniel showed his true face, before he became abusive with words and gestures, before he controlled her mother's every move forcing her into silence and into obeying him, before he began to put his eyes and hands on Izzy too. Before the house became a minefield where every word is measured, every step is calculated, every oxygen molecule is subtracted when he enters a room.

And out of the house for Izzy is not better, because at a party she drank too much and no one saw Jacob's approach towards her as something she didn't want - something she didn't say yes or no to. Is not answering the same as giving consent? Is not answering the same as refusing? Choosing silence while feeling petrified and waiting for someone to tell you what is the best thing to do is still an answer in itself?
And at first it was just a photo that Jacob had taken to share among their classmates, at first it was only murmurs and sneers, but now Jacob wants more from her and Izzy is so used to silence - so empty, so numb - that she could also give in to his blackmail to prevent certain photos from going around the school.

And after losing (metaphorically) the first person who always kept her on her feet - her mother - she now feels that she no longer even has the support of Grace, who is so in love that she sees nothing but Nell and accuses Izzy of being jealous.

What Izzy doesn't know is that inside her - crushed by years of abuse and relegated to the depths and darkness of her soul - there is an Izzy that has a voice. And she finally wants to scream.


There is so much more in this book - in this book that also made me cry twice.
Not only because many things in Izzy's life resembled mine when I was her age - like the issue with her best friend - but because it's a book that deals with heavy and important themes.

It's a book full of so much sadness, desperation, resignation, pain, anger but also hope. A book that shows how, after years of abuse, one person almost manages to remain indifferent to it - how one person learns to walk on tiptoes and try to calm the situation down to prevent it getting worse, but when it explodes then that person remains still to look at violence as a thing normal. As if it were deserved.

And then you pretend nothing happened. And maybe you fall back into the same vicious circle in other circumstances and in other situations.
You keep pushing the problem away, hiding it under the carpet believing that it will resolve itself without you doing anything about it - that things will improve on their own.

When her mother Stephanie finally decides to regain control, Izzy's anger is immense. NOW her mother wants to protect her. But in all the previous years why she didn't do it? Why hasn't she saved them both before? Why didn't she leave Daniel earlier? And Izzy feels that that love - that trust - a daughter should feel unconditionally towards her mother has been lost many promises of a change for the better ago.

But Izzy's anger is also directed at herself, for letting the boys and men in her life always towering over her - always taking off, piece by piece, a little more sun and a little more moon and a little more sky.
And Izzy wants that sun, wants that moon, wants that sky - she wants again the feeling she got from her father when he made her feel at the center of his universe.

It's a powerful book with an equally powerful message.
It's a book about domestic violence, the consequences at home and outside of it, how those consequences affect the psyche and the behavior of the victims - and Izzy has shown me that you can ask those questions in a poisonous way and be angry at the person who had disappointed you and still end up trapped in the same vicious circle, in the same mechanism in which we reduce ourselves without control and at the mercy of someone else without even realizing it.

But it's a book that also tackles bullying, the boys' lack of respect for women and how it's all a game for them - including the songs they sing at the top of their lungs about rape and the way they laugh about it at the end. Or when you know that what your friend is doing is wrong, but you keep to justify it (and justify yourself) saying it's a joke and you keep quiet and let it happen without doing anything.

I loved this book, I loved Izzy finding her voice, I loved Izzy challenging everyone to take back what is rightfully hers, I loved Izzy still needing the support of the ones she loves while discovering she can also be independent and walking alone, I loved Izzy for her playlists, I loved Izzy for her desire to be an island out of reach and the subsequent understanding that one must always leave a way of access to others, I loved Izzy who embarks on a healing path of acceptance even if it'll be slow and painful - and the same goes for her mother.

It's a book on the trust that begins to lack, on the love that begins to waver, on the promises not kept or kept when it is perhaps too late, on the hope that perhaps it is not too late, on the family and the love that we really deserve, on the choices that in the end are ours and ours alone.


    "My life. My body. My choice."


And I usually have "problems" with this type of book, but this time around I didn't - perhaps because this time it was narrated from a different point of view, by someone who asked the same questions I ask myself when I read a book with such themes.

Amy Beashel has a particular way of telling the story - which often takes a break to tell episodes from the past - but you quickly get used to the rhythm of this intense, emotional and also heartbreaking book.

The book had a good premise but I couldn't make it through this one. I wanted to push through but couldn't. I detected Izzy has some serious home issues and a boy from school slut-shaming her. Izzy felt abandoned by her friend, Grace because she has fallen in love.

I detected a sketchy relationship with her stepfather and her mother seemed abused. Even with all these layers, I could not get into the author's writing style. I just could not finish this one.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Actual Rating: 4.5 Stars

“Then he lets out this laugh that’s like a puff of disgust and says something like ‘gotcha’ before the blast of cool air lets me know I’m still here, on the wrong side of the door, having been coaxed in by the surprise of Jacob’s smile.”

“Because this is what happens to girls like me with boys like Jacob. This is what we deserve. And I fall deeper and deeper into the well, away from the sun and the moon, where embers of whatever my voice could have been are immediately starved of air.”

 

“If I thought it would make any difference, I would scream.”

 

Izzy doesn’t know where her voice went. Why her lips stay shut when Jacob is near, why she allows his hands to touch her skin. She doesn’t want it to happen, she wants it to stop. But Jacob is dangling shame over her head and Izzy is all too familiar with the tricks of men. How he twists his words and so easily takes her power. To say nothing is almost easier. To just bear the weight of the ugliness and keep moving forward. That’s what her mother does with Daniel, her stepdad. She keeps her mouth shut, her head down, and falls in line. But the loneliness that Izzy’s secrets bring are weighing her down. She can’t talk to her mother, who is just as silenced as she, and her best friend Grace is too preoccupied with her new girlfriend. So Izzy has to deal with it alone. Unless, she can find a way out.

“‘I should go,’ I say, but my words are an echo and his room is a cave with its closed curtains and the bedside lamp suddenly switched off by his swift fingers, which somehow turn to fire in the dark, spreading wild across my body so I can no longer tell which bit of him is where because the whole of Jacob is on me, against me, burning itself into me as my echo presses into what might be his chest but could be his shoulder.

Whatever piece of him is so close to my mouth, it melts my ability to speak, any words I try to summon seeping into a wet patch of nothing on his shirt.”

“I’d disappear if I could, but I can’t.”

I have never highlighted so many quotes in a book, in my life. But the quantity of these highlights, though very large, doesn’t even compare to the quality and punch they pack. Amy Beashel has reached into the heart of so many young girls and women and extracted those feeling of loneliness, fear, regret, shame, self-loathing, anger and sadness. She took the ugliness that we have all felt, and sometimes still feel, and she has screamed it through black ink on thin pieces of paper. This book is powerful. It hurts, it hits an all too familiar nerve, and it leaves an ache in your gut. It is something so many of us have felt, and something so many of us have always been afraid of.

“‘You were gone, Izzy.’

‘No more than you or Jacob or any of your other mates.’

‘Isn’t the same for us though, is it?’”

This isn’t a lighthearted story. It’s about sexual abuse and rape. About domestic abuse, manipulation and control. It’s about a daughter who is going through hell in the confines of a boy’s bedroom, and a mother who suffers in her own home, while her daughter watches. It is pure heartbreak and sorrow, and this author captures it in a way that feels all too real.

“Everything just kind of gives in.

I shouldn’t be here.”

Izzy’s character feels so true and authentic. A girl who knows she doesn’t want the things that are happening to her to be happening, but is unable to speak up. And as the reader follows her into her memories of the party, and into the bedroom of a boy that is blackmailing her, we begin to realize how and why that is. The relationship between her mother and her stepdad is volatile and and confusing, as is her own relationship with her stepfather, Daniel. So many controlling phrases said with smiles, or harsh japes delivered with an upbeat tone. And even a lingering of Daniel’s hand on her back for a second too long, or a look down towards her chest. It is no wonder that Izzy says nothing, because that is exactly what her mother does.

“…and me looking at my thighs in the mirror wondering how all those other girls do it. Fall out of hate with their bodies, I mean.

‘You’re beautiful’, Mum whispers when Daniel leaves the kitchen, but her voice is too much like tissue paper to wrap me up in anything that feels like safety or strength or truth.”

The abuse that Izzy’s mother endures through her marriage is easily frustrating as you read. Her timid behavior, the way she says nothing when Daniel talks down to Izzy, or the way she refuses to speak with Izzy when Izzy attempts to reach out to her. It is painful to watch, but unfortunately, it mirrors so many true relationships of how a woman will hold on, even if it’s hurting her. I was angry that her mother would stay and not get Izzy out of that house, or that she wasn’t more observant to how Daniel behaved around around her daughter…but I imagine that is the point, isn’t it? To spark an anger in the reader, because these situations are all too real and and equally emotionally confusing. 

And how the behavior of her mother intertwines with how Izzy treats her own relationships and situations is…devastating. There were tears constantly in my eyes and a sickness in my stomach as Izzy describes her despair. Her loneliness and fear, or how she goes along with a boy’s request because she feels she has no other options.

“My chest and my belly turning from chalky mass to scarlet mass in the rush of the water, which, no matter how high I turn the dial on the shower, still can’t shift the stickiness of Jacob’s hands and mouth and his tongue that slicked those words: ‘Relax, Izzy. It’ll be so much better if you just fucking relax.’

Cos those words, they’re as wedged as the earplugs I’ve used on the worst kinds of nights when Daniel’s done what he’s done, and he’s left, and Mum’s crying is as quiet as she can make it, but for all her effort, that sinking weep of hers seeps through the walls like blood on toilet paper.”

But what really stands out to me about this story, is the imperfections and unsavory characteristics. Of how not everything turns out perfectly. Of how some things improve and change, but how the trauma molds these two women. How it shifts their mother daughter relationship and jumbles it up into a ball of confusion and assumptions about how the other had been feeling. The author so beautifully displayed how Izzy saw things from her perspective, and then how her mother saw them and what was going through her head. But even so, the theme of this story is their silence and how they learn to find their voices.

“…she doesn’t even try, just sits there as I work on being a rock, dry and deserted, pulling back the tears and filing my mouth with biscuits so it doesn’t accidentally fill with words.”

There is a romance aspect that comes to Izzy, and to be honest, I wasn’t really sure it was necessary or that I even wanted it to be there. I wanted Izzy to find self-worth and strength on her own or with her mother. And though she does in some ways, the fact that part of it came from a boy sort of…rubs me the wrong way. Izzy’s best friend Grace on the other hand, is everything I wanted and needed. Grace is so sure, so herself…it’s astounding. She is her own body and her own soul, and it was the most beautiful thing to witness, especially as she builds Izzy up and forces her to see her own beauty.

“‘You’re fuckin’ perfect. Look at us,’ she says, dragging me to the mirror, ‘we both are.’”

This book was so sad and beautiful, I am so glad I found it. I always gravitate towards stories like this, but the last few I have read were less than impressive. Thankfully, Amy Beashel has blown me away and made my entire demeanor deflate from sadness. Which I know sounds bad, but I love when a book does this to me. Bravo Amy.

“‘Would you like to talk to me about what happened?’ she asks.

‘Yes,’ I say.

And the word is an expanding universe. Any my voice?

Well, My voice is the goddamn Big Bang.”

Had I started this book backwards, reading the ending and working my way to the beginning.. I would have felt a bit more comfortable in reading this book. There’s such a thing as being a tiny bit kind to your main character and this book definitely did not do so. In the endeavor to explore abuse both domestic, mental and sexual this book takes it a bit too far. Rather than picking one form of abuse and sticking with it with the development of the characters, this book to an alternate route as if trying to force down all the kinds of abuse and fit it all into 200 pages. At one point I really thought “Okay this is way too much” because I can’t imagine any one person dealing with all that the main character dealt with and still coming out semi-unscathed. It felt so unrealistic that had any of this been real.. I wouldn’t have been surprised had that person ended up in a mental asylum. 

There’s such a thing as too much pain to put a character through and putting the main character through rape, domestic abuse and a seemingly toxic friendship? It’s way too much and even if the ending was one that I could get through without the skimming that was done for the entirety of the book I still feel that this book could have been better developed.

I wasn't able to finish reading The Sky is Mine. I put it down after about 50 pages as it was far too dark for my liking. I wasn't able to cope with the constant abuse that the main character suffered, and it became too overwhelming too quickly.

The Sky is Mine was a story I was not sure I was going to make it through.  The opening scene was enough to set my stomach rolling and put my mind into emotional overdrive. I am entirely grateful that I read on because this one an absolutely excellent story of hope, courage, and justice for those who have had horrible things done to them.  This story is not for the weak of heart.  There are a lot of controversial topics and this book needs to be read with an open mind and heart.  The Sky is Mine is an emotional roller coaster that is definitely worth riding.  Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this captivating book..

Oh wow. This.. this was an astonishing book. When I finished reading it, I was left with this feeling not unlike that of having just gone on three different types of rollercoaster rides. Though I want to clarify and say I’m not equating this book to the typical rollercoaster analogy, I’m just saying how it was just rush of overwhelming feelings. 

I wish I could reread and read and reread it all over again. I want to never have read it, pick it up anew, then reread it. 

My heart broke a million times over and it healed, broke again, to finally heal. 

This book speaks to the truth in so many ways that my head splinters from a headache and my stomach is queasy from words I cannot say. 

There are no adequate words to truly appreciate this book in its fullness. I realize this review is not making much sense, it’s just I was absolutely blown away by it. 

It’s already on my top favorite list of books for the year and it’s February.

I want to thank Netgalley and One World Publications for a ARC Copy of The Sky ie Mine by Amy Beashel for an honest review. 

Isabel is dealing with demons of her own. Not only is she getting black mailed by a guy for sexual favors but she is losing her best friend to somebody else. Isabel also lives in a home she doesnt feel comfortable in because of her stepfather Daniel. 

I found this book really powerful in its message. Trigger warnings for rape, domestic violence, abuse and language.

Amy Beashel’s The Sky is Mine deals with several complex and challenging issues. TW: rape, domestic violence 

It almost feels like too much for one character to have to cope with in one novel, but the topics are dealt with sensitivity. Additionally, the overall theme of giving agency to female voice is empowering.

Many thanks to NetGalley, the author, and the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review.

I received a free digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

I really loved Izzy, she felt so relatable and reminded me a lot of myself when I was a teenager. I enjoyed the plot. I wasn't lucky enough to have a good relationship with my own mother, so seeing any issues resolved really helped make this book give me the warm and fuzzies. 

Thank you kindly to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for this review copy.

3.5 stars rounded up to 4.*

The Sky is Mine is a YA novel that I downloaded because of a recommendation I found online for upcoming feminine literature.

It is the story of 15-year-old Izzy.  A girl struggling to fit in socially while dealing with an abusive stepfather, her cowering mother, her best friend Grace slipping away from her as she falls in love for the first time, and the fallout from a drunken night where she may or may not have let Jacob Mansfield do things to her in the loo at a party.

Izzy is relatable in all of her insecurities.  She isn't a caricature and while she is naive, she is endearing and believable, even as she makes terrible choices.  Things come to a head when Izzy's mum finally gets up the strength to leave her stepdad and they have to escape to a Battered Women's Shelter to seek refuge and hide out.  But she's not allowed to let anybody know where she has gone and she left Grace in a bad position by leaving when she did, as well as leaving herself up for more humiliation by Jacob who is blackmailing her for sexual favors when she disappeared.

It is a story of mother & daughter, a story of friendship, a story of strength and fortitude, a story of standing up for oneself and it is empowering.

I enjoyed it.  Recommended for fans of YA.

*with thanks to NetGalley for the digital ARC in exchange for this honest review.

This book starts out strong and just keeps pulling you in.  It does have a few different cases of abuse in it, so that can be hard to read at times. It follows a girl who is growing, learning, and struggling through her teen years with her mom. They have to learn to trust in each other while growing stronger individually. They are growing from their own cases of abuse and learn to talk through it with each other. 

I don't feel like there were many slow parts,  and the story kept moving right along. Definitely a nice read.

Izzy struggles with abuse both at home and at school. Unfortunately, her best friend and support is blinded by love lately and doesn't see what Izzy is going through. Izzy and her mom try to escape from her controlling stepfather and hope to find peace and a new life somewhere else.

I received this ARC through Netgalley.com in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to Netgalley.com, to Oneworld Publications, and to Amy Beashel for this opportunity.

This book was hard to get through, but it is extremely important. Honestly, the first few chapters were hard. It was brutal, and gruesome to read about rape in a way that made the victim feel like it was her fault. Basically, sex with partial consent due to bullying/threatening. TW: Rape, bullying, domestic violence - a bit graphical.

Jacob, Izzy's classmate, has been threatening her with photos taken inappropriately at a party they were at. This leads to her agreeing to go over to his place so he would keep the photos a secret. Meanwhile, her best friend is spending too much time with her girlfriend which makes Izzy feel more lonely. At the same time, her stepdad is a monster in a George Clooney disguise. Soon Izzy finds that the spiral is out of control. Coming out of it seems almost impossible to her. 

Like I said, it was difficult in the start, and Izzy's character was a bit intimidating. We don't get to know much about her at first except that she's being raped and that she thinks it's her fault. The slow growth eventually blows to an exceptionally beautiful character development, unexpected twists and some lovely bonding. Izzy was easy to sympathise, but not that easy to love. She is constantly pissed at her Mom for not standing up for her. She's always jealous of her best friend's girlfriend for stealing their time together. And the one boy who actually decided to help her about the Jacob issue, she pushes him away and barely acknowledges his effort. But all these little flaws helped make her a very realistic person by the end. The author tries to show us that it was okay to have insecurities, that having strong emotions is normal. Also, it's been a long time since I've read about such strong friendship as Grace and Izzy's. I loved how verbal they were, how open about their feelings. The relationship with her Mom was complicated, but touching and profound. Harry though, his character stole the show even with the short time he was introduced for. 

All in all, I think this book is a must read for all. Girls, you get to learn about victim-shaming, and boys, you gotta understand proper consent. Such a beautiful debut for Amy Beashel.