Mean and vicious Chrissie, just eight years old, has killed a child. Twenty years later with a new identity she is running from her crime. Can she protect her own child? Frighteningly uncomfortable but outstandingly written.

“They promised me no one would ever find out that Julia had once been Chrissie. …. Promise was just a word and a name was just a name and I wasn’t Chrissie, not inside, not any more, but the vultures didn’t care about that.”

My thanks to Random House U.K./Cornerstone for an eARC via NetGalley of ‘The First Day of Spring’ by Nancy Tucker in exchange for an honest review.

I also took the opportunity to take part in a group read organised by The Pigeonhole. As the subject matter of this novel is very disturbing, it was helpful to have others to share thoughts with.

This is undoubtedly a powerful novel that considers the inner life of a fictional child murderer as well as her life as an adult. It seems likely that elements of the story were inspired by the case of Mary Bell, who at the age of eleven killed two small boys in Newcastle,1968. Tucker has made her killer, Chrissie, even younger at only eight.

The novel is split between two first-person narrative streams. The first is Chrissie who advises us “I killed a little boy today.” The second takes place some years after her release from incarceration at eighteen. She now lives with her young daughter, Molly, under the State protected identity of Julia. She feels that the people in charge had “thrown me into a life I hadn’t expected to have to live, in a world I hadn’t expected to have to understand.”

This was a heartbreaking novel that focuses upon the various factors that led Chrissie to commit these terrible crimes. Her mother is uncaring and her father barely present. She is seriously neglected, starved of both food and affection. As a result she is feral. Even her teachers see her as a disruptive element rather than a child in serious need of intervention. One of the local mammies (Mums) calls her a ‘bad seed’; a description that Chrissie embraces.

As a result of her early life the emotional scars that the adult Julia bears are very obvious. As she never was nurtured, she now struggles with motherhood and seeks to understand her younger self. She also constantly worries that social services will take Molly away from her. The contrast between Julia and Chrissie’s Mam is very marked.

My review copy opened with a letter from the author to her readers in which she addresses her decision to write about a child murderer. She writes: ‘Media reporting can be slanted towards blame and condemnation, but I hope this book will encourage readers to think harder about the circumstances that lead people to do unthinkable things. I hope it also asks important questions about resilience, nurture and the human capacity for forgiveness.”

Despite its dark subject matter there are lighter moments in the novel. Chrissie often comes out with outrageous comebacks, displaying a keen intelligence and quick wit.

Overall, I felt that ‘The First Day of Spring’ was an extraordinary novel, unlike anything I have ever read before. Nancy Tucker’s portrayal of Chrissie/Julia was compassionate and multi-layered.

Highly recommended.

The First Day of Spring was a difficult read, the story of Chrissie was pretty harrowing and reading about the death of children is difficult, but it is a well written story which makes you feel split at the compassion you feel for Chrissie and the unforgivable crimes which she commits. It is well worth the read if you can cope with the subject.

Oh my goodness me!! The book starts with a bang ... 'I killed a little boy today.' This is followed by a clinical explanation in one paragraph of how exactly Chrissie, 8 years old, achieved this and then went to knock for her best fiend, Linda.
This author captures Chrissie - who she is, how she behaves, why she behaves as she does. Her home life is almost non-existent, the community react in different ways and the school let her down too.
It is very touching when Chrissie lists the different parts in the Nativity Play she would like to have - only to be given a reason as to why she can't play any of those parts. A small scene, but a very poignant one!
The story alternates with Julia (Chrissie grown up and with a new name to protect her). Julia is a single mother trying to do her best for her daughter, Molly. She researches how to do her best to parent Molly - she has no experience of nurture to look back on.
Both characters are explored fully - the writing is so evocative, there is no sensationalism. This story is heartbreaking but there is also humour and hope.
Many thanks to Netgalley/Nancy Tucker/Random House UK for a digital copy of this title. All opinions expressed are my own.

Chrissie is eight years old, and she has just killed a two-year-old boy. Her playmates are tearful and their mothers are terrified, keeping them locked up indoors.

Fifteen years later, Julia is working in a fish and chip shop and trying to mother her five-year-old daughter, Molly. She is always worried – about affording food and school shoes, about what the other mothers think of her. Most of all she worries that the social services are about to take Molly away. That’s when the phone calls begin. Julia is too afraid to answer, because it’s clear the caller knows the truth – that Julia is Chrissie, living under the new name given to her when she was released from prison eight years before.

Julia wants to give Molly the childhood she was denied, and that means leaving Chrissie in the past. But Chrissie doesn’t want to be left.

Wow! This is so good! I was intrigued by the premise but the first line of the book itself sets the tone.

It is so well written and the dual narrative from Chrissie to Julia is so amazing. The plot is extremely disturbing but also heartbreaking at the same time.

The character development is so good, that you can’t help feel sorry for Chrissie and wish her well despite her actions.

Overall, a powerful and brilliant read! Highly recommended!

Thank You NetGalley and Random House UK, Cornerstone for this ARC!

This is really good. You have to try this new author!!

I would normally overlook authors who aren't on my favourite list but I was invited to read this so I did. I'm glad I did or I would have missed out.

An unusual angle of narration from an 8 year old but also the same child but as an adult with her own child. Quite an eye opener. You can't help but feel sorry for poor little Chrissie as she tries to survive daily on her own as her mother doesn't care much for her so Chrissie does what she has to do.

By the end of the book she realises a few things like emotions of how mother's can feel for their children now she has one of her own with the threat of Molly being taken away.

I think this one will linger in my thoughts for a long time after finishing this book.

The First Day of Spring by Nancy Tucker
Publisher: Hutchinson
Publication Date: 24 June 2021

No Spoilers
* Dark subject matter - child murder/child abuse
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

Although a very dark storyline this is a riveting book that really makes you think. About forgiveness, whether you believe in rehabilitation & redemption, and, the impact of extreme neglect on young children.
This book never feels exploitative or gratuitous, but several passages are very hard to read. It’s not all grim though, the character and intelligence of Chrissie really shines through. You’ll want to punch the adults though.
Obviously no “happy ending” but definitely one that makes sense and will stay with you long after you have finished reading.

Raw, brutal and frighteningly real. I can’t wait to see what this author does next.

I’d like to thank the author, publisher and netgalley for providing me with this advance digital copy in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

The First Day of Spring is a fascinating book. I didn't enjoy it but you aren't meant to enjoy books about child murder. It was dark and upsetting and a really difficult read but it was also brilliant. I couldn't put it down because as dark as the story was it really drew me in.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for my ARC.

The story is narrated through the eyes of eight year old Chrissie and adult Chrissie who now goes by the name Julia. I definitely enjoyed eight year old Chrissie’s perspective a lot more because it was interesting to see what was inside her head when she was doing awful things. I didn’t connect with adult Chrissie and I felt no sympathy for her whatsoever. I thought there would be a lot more backlash for what she did and the small amount there was is only ever talked about and not shown.

There were times throughout this book where my heart absolutely broke for what Chrissie went through as a child but my heart broke more for her victims and their families.

Wow! This book was absolutely spine-chilling and thought provoking. It really took me out of my comfort zone! This story is completely different from the last few books I have read. Nancy Tucker has an excellent style of writing.
Thank you to Nancy Tucker, NetGalley and Random House UK, Cornerstone for the opportunity to read and review this book.

I have only just finished this book and I am completely done. And crying. Phew... what an incredible read. Talk about all the emotions. But, and this is important, although I am leaving the story spent and emotional, I am also safe.
Oh my days - Chrissie - what have you done? Well, we know what she did, she tells up on the first page. But how did she get to that point, why did she get to that point. Well, if you read this book you'll find out. As well as see how she fares once she has been released. When she becomes a mother herself and all the issues that throws up around her...
And that's all I'm saying as you really need to discover things as the author wants you to. For full emotional effect. I keep saying emotional, well, we are talking about a child killing a child and if that doesn't hit that spot, well, I'm not sure what will... But, again important to mention, nothing included within the pages of this book is there for shock tactics. Chrissie's childhood is narrated and explained by herself. In, obviously, a bit of a childlike matter of fact way. Which only makes it all the more powerful. And then when we reconnect with her when she is Julia, living with daughter Molly, worried about her past. Worried about her present. Worried that she won't be a good mother. Oh My Days!
Me heart went out to both the characters. Well, they are the same people, but then again they aren't. That does make sense! I ran the gamut of every emotion. There was even laughter along the way - especially important given the otherwise dark nature of the story. And hope and relief, and anger, well, I'd be here all day if I was going to list the rest. But be prepared to maybe want to take a wee break along the way as it does get a bit heavy in places but, for me anyway, it never became overwhelming.
This is an incredible book that handles the darkest side of live with compassion and balance. My thanks go to the Publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book.

Well, in the world of crime thrillers, this really is something different!

When I say different... Christie is eight years old. On page one, you find out that she’s killed another child. Okay, so it turns out that it was all a mistake, she didn’t really kill him, she’s really repentant, right? Wrong. Nancy Tucker presents us with an utterly unlikeable little girl as her protagonist. But Chrissie has layers, and depth, and a family, and so slowly, we learn about her reasons and even empathise with her at some points.

‘The First Day of Spring’ is shocking in many different ways. I was gripped by the relationship between the grown up Chrissie and her own daughter. I felt genuinely concerned about whether or not history was going to repeat itself, especially towards the end of the novel.

I also enjoyed the way that Chrissie revisited her past, both physically and emotionally, all the way through the novel. it was clear that you could not move on from her past, for lots of different reasons. There are lots of very complex relationships in ‘The First Day of Spring’ and the unusual premise means that you can’t second guess anything at all, and the twists and turns keep coming right to the end.

Chrissie is an eight year old girl from a broken home in a borderline slum area. Her mother is often absent. Even when present she is neglectful or positively negligent, clearly out of her depth and wishing that the child did not exist. Chrissie is ‘unaware’ that her father is in and out of prison ‘believing’ instead that he dies and is reborn. This is a disastrous delusion. She is otherwise a smart child, inventor of games, leader of the pack. On line one she strangles a young boy, for no clear motive but apparently believing he will come back.
The tale cuts to Julia, the identity Chrissie has been given on release from secure accommodation. She has had a child, Molly, and is in constant fear that she will be identified and pilloried or that she will be deemed an unfit mother and loose Molly.
Her life is seen as a series of episodes, related in the first person by these two different manifestations, and it is possible to view each action as being rational while also viewing it as unbelievably tragic. Julia is a character likely to invoke sympathy, but Chrissie is a troubling character who is likely to haunt you.
The author has a personal and professional background, as she explains in a prologue, so there is clearly verisimilitude in the events, the language and the characters. The story arc is coherent and the outcome quite predictable in some ways. Overall, it is an easy book to read if you can deal with Chrissie.
I would like to thank NetGalley, the publishers and the author for providing me with a draft proof copy for the purpose of this review.

This novel took me well out of my comfort zone. I found the book shocking and disturbing. The main character, Chrissie/Julia, I could not like, she gave me goose bumps! At times, you need a book to move you out of your comfort zone. The writing style and vocabulary was not for me but I was intrigued by the storyline and finished the book.

I give a 3 star rating

I WANT TO THANK NERGALLEY FOR THE OPPORTUNITY OF READING AN ADVANCED COPY OF THIS BOOK FOR AN HONEST REVIEW

I have to be completely honest here and say this book was a harrowing read but at the same time it was also a brilliant read. It is not for the faint hearted or anyone who struggles reading about difficult topics such as child neglect etc. There were times when I struggled reading this book, certainly not because I wasn’t enjoying it but because it was very traumatic in places. Thus book is written so well and I was very surprised when I learned it was the authors debut fiction book. When I finished this book I felt emotionally wrought from it.

Staggering. Bleak. Tragic. Tender, even. This has left me feeling drained almost. Chrissie is so well written, so matter of fact, so obviously in need. Julia is so so scared. What a book!

Wow.
This was such a thought provoking, heartfelt read that I am struggling to do it justice. The premise intrigued me initially, but the execution was sublime.
The reader is taken on a very dark and sad journey with Chrissie that tears through your heart and makes you question all your previous judgements and feelings about child killers. Should they get a new identity, a new life? What provokes them into murder in the first place?
Chrissie's life is heart breaking and so painful to read. But you cannot help but want the best for her and to make something of herself and her future.
The narrator of the audiobook was excellent, an engaging voice who portrayed the power and pain of the novel beautifully.

This book was not at all what I was expecting it to be. It was pitched to me because I love Lisa Jewell and CL Taylor but this is a very different thriller. Do make sure you read the synopsis thoroughly because this book comes with a lot of care warnings for neglect, abuse and infant death.

I think I probably accessed this book on quite a different level because I have always worked with children and I am a teacher and so I found this book really tough to listen to at times. I think that the narrator did a great job although this book takes place in the north east of England and the narration reflects that. Being a northerner myself I thought the narration was great but I know its not always the most popular accent. This book really exposes what can happen when a child is not shown love and care early on in life. Although the synopsis mentions lack of money really it is the lack of care that is at the centre of this book and I think it was a really brave thing for the author to tackle.

The book also tackles issues surrounding mental health particularly when you don't have the privilege of disposable income to help with the care that your mental health requires. I love that this is shown to be an issue in this book. We always highlight the importance of taking care of your mental health and seeking help when appropriate but we don't always have the time or the money to put towards that and that is fully explored in this novel.

The way this book is structured does make for a very compelling read. We meet Chrissie and we meet Julia and we pretty quickly learn of their connection but we jump back and forth between their two worlds and this is very much a dual narrative and dual time line novel. I love that structure in a book because it does make you keep listening to find out what will happen to each character next and what impact that might have on the other.

This was definitely a tough read and I did feel an almost physical pain for Chrissie at many moments throughout this book but I love what this author has done in terms of taking risks to tackle subjects that not a lot of people talk about. Definitely read through the synopsis before picking this one up but if you are OK with the care warnings then I definitely recommend giving this a read.

Reading about the murder of a child is never a comfortable experience but Nancy Tucker presents the horror from a different perspective. We get to see, firsthand, how 'hurt people hurt people' and in particular, the devastating effects of neglect on young minds. Chrissie is cold, detached and a deeply damaged wee girl. It's an interesting study in looking beyond abhorrent behaviour. Child killers are the unicorns of murderers, given the almost mythical levels of evil we attribute to them. It's very difficult to empathise with people who do terrible things, however young, so we demonise them. "The First Day of Spring" raises questions about lack of nurture and redemption. An engaging, thought-provoking read.

I couldn't help comparing this to Ashley Audrain's The Push, which I have also read earlier this year. Both are about mother - daughter relationships where the child is evil but Audrain's comes down on the side of nature and shows things from the mother's perspective, whereas Tucker comes down on nurture and shows things from the child's point of view.
Telling a story where the first person narrator is an eight year old child murderer (alternating with chapters where she is a reformed adult with her own daughter) but makes you feel sympathy and really understand the psyche of that child is no easy task. The neglect, rejection and day-to-day hunger that Chrissie feels are terrible and her mother has no understanding or love for her child. The first person narration outlines all this in detail but also the hope and faith of Chrissie as a child and later an adult that her mother will at some point express attachment.
That's not to say that the murders and the grief of the parents involved are brushed over and Chrissie's deeds exonerated, however. As an adult, Chrissie, now Julia, shows guilt and remorse, bringing up her own child Mollie with the ever present reminder of what others have lost through her and that any moment she deserves to have Mollie removed from her custody.
The fact that the book manages to convey all this, together with humour and empathy, is a triumph.