How to Fail

So open so honest from the raw momentsthat will have you to the totally hilarious Elizabeth Day shares ,guides is your best girlfriend guide adviser.A memoir and a helpful guide to living your best most honest life. #netgalley #howtofail #harpercollinsuk4thestste.

I’m a huge a fan of this woman. First discovered her work with her fourth novel, The Party. Have since worked through her backlist and then of course have listened in awe at the podcast series “how to fail” which this books takes its inspiration from.
This book though is more than an accompaniment to the podcast. It’s more memoir than self help. And far more personal, honest and raw than I was expecting from the outset. Chapters on relationships and babies brought me to tears, yet at other times I was smiling and laughing and nodding in agreement with Days wisdom.
Felt I’d been granted access to a life in a similar way to Maggie O Farrells I am, I am, I am. Revealing to a point, but without feeling like a voyeur.
I wish there’d been writers like Elizabeth around when I was a teen. Maybe I’d have failed less! But then, as she absolutely demonstrates failures are a necessary part of our life which allow us to become our true selves.

Failure is learning to succeed. It takes a deep breath and courage to understand this. A book that tells us failure makes us stronger. Aspects of life explored, with the advice to learn from our mistakes and be stronger. This book explores aspects of life - dating, work, sport, families. All with the potential for failure! Worth taking the time to explore.

This book is life-changing, and one that everyone should read. Brave, honest, raw, and inspiring, it helped me see a side of myself that I’ve rarely been brave enough to unpick, but at the same time felt comfortable, like I was chatting with a trusted friend. This book feels like a long chat with an older sister, sharing her life experiences, difficult as they might be, in the hope that they help bring some insight or reassurance. Day is only slightly older than me, but her words are so wise that she feels much more senior. I can’t recommend this book enough and look forward to sharing it with the Women At Work community.

Having been an avid fan of Day’s podcast of the same name, I was looking forward to this book. And it didn’t disappoint!

Day believes (quite rightly!) that our failures in life can actually teach us how to succeed better. She addresses many topics in this book and draws on the advice of those she has interviewed both in the podcast and during her journalistic career. I love Day’s writing and tone throughout this book and her honesty and humour shines through. The chapter on her trip to Russia as a young teenager was eye-opening to say the least! Would highly recommend!

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day has been the most-listened to podcast on my iPhone in the last six months, and just a quick glance at Twitter makes me realise I’m not the only one obsessed with this weekly show.

Elizabeth Day is already an acclaimed novelist and journalist (she’s one of my favourite writers), and now with How To Fail: Everything I’ve Ever Learned From Things Going Wrong, we have her first foray into non-fiction books, a direct result of the successful podcast which has featured everyone from Dolly Alderton to Alastair Campbell, one that “celebrates the things that haven’t gone right.”

I had high expectations for the book, and I’m happy to say that How To Fail lives up to all the hype. Part memoir, part manifesto, it covers every failure you can imagine (How To Fail At Fitting In; How To Fail At Families; How To Fail At Being Gwyneth Paltrow), and takes us from Elizabeth’s childhood in Northern Ireland to her twenties and thirties in London, with anecdotes from previous podcast guests and celebrity interviewees sprinkled throughout the pages, too.

It’s Elizabeth’s writing that really makes the book though, writing that is deeply moving at some points, and laugh-out-loud funny in others. She deftly takes a look at her own life and draws lessons from her own, sometimes painful, personal experiences in a way that all of us can recognize and identify with. After all, who among us hasn’t experienced failure?

In the book as on the podcast, she lifts the shame from failure. “No experience is wasted,” she writes, “even if you have no idea of what that particular experience is teaching you during the time you’re enduring it.” There’s a reason this book is on so many lists of “books to look out for” in 2019. Add it to your TBR pile now.

‘How to Fail’ by Elizabeth Day has grown out of her popular podcast of the same name and explores the author’s many failures over the past forty years, from her three-year-old’s memory of failing to fill a hot water bottle correctly to the more serious consequences of failing in a range of relationships. The chapter entitled ‘How to Fail at Being Gwyneth Paltrow’, as funny as it sounds, is also a thoughtful study of why women are so critical about their body image – whilst Gwyneth cashes in!
As in all the other chapters in this book, Day uses personal anecdotes as well as examples from family and friends and some of the many celebrities she has interviewed to make her thoughts and ideas about failure relevant and current. She argues convincingly that everything stems from the family experience and yet she is also quick to illustrate the wider political and social ramifications that help shape whom we become. Whilst some might argue that she is writing from a white, educated middle-class point of view (and she recognises the privileges she has been given), the feelings she focuses on are universal. Who has not felt worried that they have failed parental expectations? Who has not dreaded being spurned at school? Who has not felt inadequate against talented sporting opposition?
Day is admirably frank about her failings. Each chapter discusses how she has dealt with them (or not) and how she has learned to understand herself because of them. This is a book that recognises the importance of honesty, humour and resilience when faced with failure. At times a painful read, it is also a frank, witty, uplifting look at the crap that life brings and how we might deal with it.
My thanks to NetGalley and Harper Collins Publishers for a copy of this novel in exchange for a fair review.

What a wonderful book. I have enjoyed Elizabeth Day’s podcast series for ages and this is far, far more than a rehash or transcripts of the broadcasts.

This is a beautifully written and deeply honest, maybe even cathartic analysis of her life and what makes her tick interspersed with examples from some of her celebrity guests.

She opens herself up about all sorts of personal topics and as a man I hope I am able to say that it gave me an insight into a woman’s psyche and what makes her tick.

A glorious book that entertained, educated and made me think.

I am a fan of Elizabeth Day’s writing and immediately wanted to read her new book. I would not normally choose a non fiction book, but this has definitely convinced me to try more. I have recommended the book to a whole variety of people and feel everyone can relate to the issues discussed within it.

Following on from her successful podcast of the same name, Elizabeth Day has now produced a book discussing the failures of herself and many known personalities. Discussing some quite difficult and deeply personal topics, she manages to find positivity in all situations and imparts wisdom for people who have been through or who are going through similar experiences.

I found it absolutely fascinating and relatable both in the ‘failures ‘ discussed and the way it is written. A book that illustrates you are not alone in your experiences and you can move on positively.

Fantastic book! love hearing about Elizabeth's life and the views she has on a range of topics, so passionate and found myself agreeing with her on many points. So interesting the way we form ourselves in childhood can carry through so strongly to adulthood and the complications that brings. Such an honest and absorbing book

The chapters cover:
How to Fail at Fitting In
How to Fail at Tests
How to Fail at Your Twenties
How to Fail at Dating
How to Fail at Sport
How to Fail at Relationships
How to Fail at Being Gwyneth Paltrow
How to Fail at Work
How to Fail at Friendship
How to Fail at Babies
How to Fail at Families
How to Fail at Anger
How to Fail at Success

It's the must-have book for perfectionists, and self-critical workers. The lessons learned together with the ego-soothing disappointments that come with life was actually life-affirming and concentrates on coping mechanisms over knowledge. A must-read for stress-heads and those who rely on people and situations outside their control.

An absolutely BRILLIANT book. Looking more into the author Elizabeth Day I will definitely be checking her podcast.

I am a massive fan of Elizabeth Day’s writing and have read and loved both The Party and Paradise City (and have her other books on my Kindle) so was very excited to read How To Fail. Based on her extraordinarily successful podcast of the same name, Elizabeth Day has written a collection of essays about the various ways she has failed in life. Her belief is that in order to really, really succeed we need to have failed first and it is through her various failures, some whimsical others incredibly personal that we come to learn that everybody fails somewhere in life, and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

The How to Fail podcast interviews people from the public eye about their failures and some of these conversations are quoted in this book. If you haven’t listened to the podcast please do, it is utterly brilliant. From Alistair Campbell talking about his breakdown, to Lily Allen talking about the press to Phoebe Waller-Bridge talking about the time she humiliated herself in front of Meryl Streep it is at turns emotional and hilarious.

How To Fail, the book is searingly honest and personal and explores such things as the time her parents sent her to Russia aged thirteen for a month, to divorce, infertility and the difficulty and absolute joy of friendship. Just like the podcast it is emotional with heartbreaking moments like when she describes the end of her marriage to hilarity when she tells us about moving to LA and spending a week living like Gwyneth Paltrow, vaginal steaming and all.

Elizabeth Day is only a couple of years older than me and so when she writes that the “mood music of my twenties was provided by the Friends theme tune and the clatter of the Sex and the City heels on New York sidewalk” I nodded along in agreement and then later when she ascertains that if we weren’t sitting with a group of friends discussing our sex lives over a Cosmo we were “failing to make the most of it” I nearly gave myself whiplash. The message of the late 90s/early 00s was that women should have a career, be part of a group of amazing friends, having one night stands with hot men and not getting pregnant just yet. But what if you aren’t doing these things? What if you are in your twenties and in a long term relationship and you want to make some of Nigella’s brownies and a recipe from the Naked Chef on a Sunday? Is that failing? Or is it just a different version of succeeding?

Whilst her childhood was different to mine in that she moved to Northern Ireland during the Troubles and I was ensconced in a school in Northumberland, the feelings she experienced there were not unlike those that many young girls feel at school. The complicated nature of female friendships (the most awful feeling in the world is having your best friend stolen from you by another girl as a child), the way teenage girls can be vile to one another, not quite fitting in and feeling unattractive are all things that every woman has experienced at some point. The way she writes about these things is brilliant and utterly relatable, although this is her personal story it is one that resonates deeply.

In fact, even if you haven’t had the same life experiences you have felt something like it. How To Fail is like a really good chat with a good friend, it is powerful and empowering read and, I don’t think I am overstating when I say it was possibly one of the most important books I’ve read. I feel heard and understood and at times I felt she had crawled inside my head and written down my thoughts and feelings. I finished it feeling wrung out and raw but ultimately I found it very uplifting and moving and it is a book I will return to again and again.

Do not think this is a written version of the 'How to Fail' podcasts hosted by Elizabeth Day. It's much more detailed and interesting than that.

This is a biography with some quotes from podcasts coupled with advice garnered from other well know self-help guru's. The author writes authentically about aspects of her life from childhood to trying to understand what it is to be an adult in her 20s, to further on after divorce and beyond.

She covers a wide range of aspects sports, Friendship, family to name a few, allowing the reader to dip in and read a relevant chapter. In this way you can make this a relevant read to your own life although I recommend you read it all as many of her comments are universal to us all. As with any skim reading the introductory and concluding chapters are a must read to understand her message in full.
I’m not going to tell you what I think that is you need to read it yourself but I finished with a smile on my face.

This is not your traditional self-help novel but a must read for all adults.

I was given the novel free by netgalley.com for my fair and honest review.

Superb. This book really does deserve 5 stars!

An uplifting and reassuring deep dive into what it means to fail but also what it means to succeed to. I'm sure this book will resonate with anybody and I'm so thrilled to have been able to read it. I can't recommend it enough, especially to people who feel a little bit lost and like they've failed at life.

This is the kind of book that is likely to appeal to a wide range of people because unlike the overwhelming focus on success in society, this studies the phenomena of failure, and this is something we all have experience of. Elizabeth Day writes a part memoir and draws on the wide ranging celebrities that she has interviewed on the topic of 3 failures in their lives for a hugely popular podcast. Day looks on failure with her multitude of personal examples and her interviews with others, such as Gina Miller, Olivia Laing, Sebastian Faulks and Phoebe Waller-Bridge, to posit that it is how we respond to failure and what we learn from it that frames who we are and what we become. In so many ways, it is much more richly rewarding to examine failure than success. There are venture capitalists who will not back anyone who has not failed, regarding it as a powerful learning experience that provides some insurance that the new initiative is more likely to succeed.

Day is uncommonly open and honest about the trials and tribulations she has faced in her life, including her dating experiences, failed marriage, relationships, and her painful fertility issues. I was particularly drawn to her troubled childhood when her surgeon father moved the family to Northern Ireland during the conflict and its culture of silence. The impact it has on her life is wide in its scope, at school, of not belonging, of how unforgiving children can be to difference, standing out from the crowd, being a target for bullies, how she felt forced to be someone other than she was to just survive. She learnt that in new situations it pays to initially be more observant and listening to successfully integrate, whilst acknowledging that she has been plagued in her life with her need to be liked and wanting to please others. Her childhood issues highlights the need to adapt, and this is common in certain professions, such as the constant moves faced by military families, often demanding resilience with the never ending requirement to face new schools and new scenarios, and just as you begin to settle, a new move is on the agenda.

Day learns from the tests and examinations that she failed that she was helped by distancing herself from the event, and not defining herself in terms of the outcome, a valuable lesson given we live in a society that is hellbent on a culture of continuing assessment and providing us with never ending opportunities to see ourselves as failures. This study of failure casts a keen eye on what it is to fail, and how if we can grasp why we have failed, we can learn to be better armed to prevent its often catastrophic fallout for the future. Day writes in an engaging and entertaining style that makes for easy reading, and so compelling in its common sense approach that it cannot to fail to catch the interest of what I imagine would be wide range of readers. After all, are there any amongst us who have never failed? Many thanks to HarperCollins 4th Estate for an ARC.

A funny, honest and raw memoir- uncensored no stone is left unturned.
Highly recommended
Thank you to both NetGalley and Harper Collins Uk for my eARC of this book in exchange for my honest unbiased review