India: interesting and inspiring, a measure of the author's perseverance and quest for answers.

Italy, which took up the first half of the book, didn't draw me in much. Even though this journey was the set up for India, the writing was as meandering as the actual walk. The second half of the book was much more satisfying.

Is there a season for worrying, when we're more anxious than at other times? Perhaps for most people, it's the full moon, or maybe spring, when the seasons are changing. For me though? Life is the season for worrying. Every day.

Anxiety is probably an issue a lot of you have. We readers are often more prone to thinking about things deeply, we get swept into the inner conversation – perhaps that's why we love reading so much. But that also makes us worry. Or maybe it's not so for you – but I know it is for me.

I've always been prone to worrying, ever since I was small. The “what ifs” really do get tiring, but unfortunately, there isn't always something you can do about it. Yeah, you can try being more positive. But positivity in the face of anxiety is like trying to defeat a gale wind by blowing at it with a hair dryer.

Perhaps books can't be manuals to help you out in these situations either. But it's good to read about these things. It's not that you're happy that someone else is experiencing negative emotions – no, it's more that you understand that you're not alone with this in the world. Because it's not enough to be told once – people who are prone to shut in and suffer anxiety always forget that they're not alone. It's a constant battle of reminding yourself you're not the only steadily sad person in the world.

My current read is called The Worrier’s Guide to the End of the World, and I'm wishing I had started reading it many months ago. I'm not even entirely sure how long I've had it, but it's one of those ‘guilt' titles – a review copy I got a while ago and couldn't review at the correct time. After you fail to, you tend to just leave them hanging indefinitely. I wish I hadn't. Because I can't pry myself away from The Worrier’s Guide.

It's a nonfiction book about a woman and her worrying ways, and how she went on an adventure to deal with it. Actually, several adventures. She's been an anxious person all her life, and she meets someone who radiates belief in the world as if straight from the pages of The Alchemist. The funny thing is that I'm somewhere in the middle of these two women. I am as anxious and prone to work as Torre, the author of the book, but also prone to believing in the magic of the universe, like Torre's travel companion, Masha. (Well, okay, maybe not The Alchemist levels though. The Alchemist has way too much sugar between the pages.)

But the book is also about the fact that reality is not just black and white – as much as we always want to make it that way. Maybe unbeknownst to ourselves? It's rooted in our culture, and if a thing is good, it can't be bad. If a thing is bad, it can't be good. It's got to be one of those. But life is so much more! It's the same with the women's story of the pilgrimage – perhaps the first time it's one of them who is strong. The other time it's the other one. The fact that you radiate joy doesn't mean you have all the answers. It also doesn't mean that you're going to radiate joy steadily for the rest of your life. When it comes to my own thoughts and misconceptions, I know well enough that I tend to think like this as well – that some people just 'have it together' and some don't (mostly me...) But is that really true? Or is it just a lie I keep telling myself?

Another thing I am enjoying a lot about Torre's pilgrimage with Masha is her incredible sense of humor and the ability to laugh at her own self. Sometimes I wish I could learn that, but then again – maybe it's still in the future for me. The ability to laugh at one's own self and one's deficiencies of character is perhaps one of the things that can save an anxiety sufferer from a complete wind down into the darker regions of hell.

The Worrier’s Guide to The End of the World both talks about and laughs at synchronicities as well. It's almost as if the author hasn't quite made up her mind about them either. That's kind of the way with me. Yet I have to mention one that happened while I was reading this book, because even if it's not on par with the ones in the story, it's still pretty cool. Do you know that talk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie about the danger of telling only one story about people? I had seen that talk years ago. Seen it, loved it and remembered it. Curiously, I had not seen it anywhere for years. But then, I was just scrolling over Facebook and it was there the other day. I remembered it because it had been a while since I'd seen it – at least five years, and I thought that was curious. And then, just a few hours later, as I was reading The Worrier’s Guide, there it was – the author mentioned the very same talk. I thought this was the perfect illustration for how the book talks about synchronicity.

Anyway, in the book, Torre's friend Masha kept saying that everything happens just as it was meant to be. Maybe it's no mistake that I picked up this book so much later than I was ‘supposed to’. Maybe it was no coincidence at all. This book was very needed and much appreciated.

Not every book based on another person's experience is a manual on what to do with your life. This one isn't either. But sometimes, you just have to hear someone else's story. Sometimes, that's enough to help. If only for this time, until you forget it again – forget that you're not really alone in your little bubble. And a lot of the times, that really is the best that can be done.

I thank the publisher for giving me a copy of this book in exchange to my honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book.

Loved this! I read it while travelling on my own and could so relate to DeRoche's anxieties and fears and admire her determination to push on during her walks in Italy and India. It's rare to find books about women walking anywhere but a few main paths (PCT, Camino) so was very refreshing to hear about her adventures on the Via Francigena and through India.

This isn't exclusively an adventure memoir. There's a significant element of personal exploration. It's also not a comedy of errors, although there are some great LOLs to be had. The book deals well with emotional tumult, neither aggrandizing the pain nor pretending it doesn't exist. And the introspective passages interweave nicely with the atmospheric elements of the setting. Which is a tough thing to do well.

When I first read the description for The Worriers Guide to The End of The World, by Torre DeRoche, I worried that it would be a copycat of Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert. As much as I did like that book, it seemed to say that all one had to do was take some "Me" time in an exotic land, and all your troubles would vanish.

Thankfully, Torre DeRoche's book shows a much more realistic outcome from such a arduous walk: painful blisters, hot grimy bodies, exhaustion, confusion, and bickering. But also some measure of letting go, appreciation, and acceptance.

I found this book to be a grounded reflection on how we confront the essential questions of our lives.

What I Liked:
Friendship:

Torre and Masha have a friendship that travels at warp speed from acquaintances to inseparable twins. The first half of the book is about how simpatico they are. Both have similar outlooks on life, and are looking for something as they walk. They support each other, particularly when a male friend of Masha's joins in on their walk for a few week. They can both clearly see how he is commandeering the trip. I loved how they stood up for each other.

Italy:

The descriptions of Italy are divine! It does seem idyllic to be meandering through Italy, taking moments to enjoy local wines, cheeses, and olives. I really liked how Torre could see all the kindness in the people she encountered on the way. Masha also had an attitude of feeling that God would provided when there was a need. This gave her confidence even in the most stressful of situations.

India:

While Italy was all gourmet food and pleasant meandering, India was vastly different. Maybe both Torre and Masha were in a different place, mentally, when they embarked on their walk in India. But their trip became a traveler's nightmare. Aside from the difficulties of facing real poverty head-on, the two friends have a falling out. And that is the true agony of their trip. Nothing is more disheartening than being on a long journey and fighting with your companion.

The contrast between these two types of trips is what elevates this book. I loved how gritty the trip was for these two people, and that they ultimately found a way to let go of their petty grievances with each other and the world. This was life-affirming, yet not sappy.

For me this was a really fun memoir to read. Full of humor and insight.
The author had lost two important people in her life the year this story takes place, her father died, and she had broken up with a love of nine years. She had also always suffered from insecurities and fears, and through her travels, she thought she might be able to come to grips with what the impetus for these might be and if she could overcome it. She writes about these fears with a dash of humor which had me laughing through a lot of the book.
I could relate to a feeling she had which was “I just want to be anywhere other than here”. Somehow we always bring ourselves along.
While in Italy, on another escape from her life, she was contacted by a woman she had met once before named Masha, who was taking a year to walk the world. Masha noticed she was passing near to where Torre was staying and asked her if she wanted to walk for awhile with her on the The Via Francigena a pilgrimage she was walking from Canterbury to Rome. These two got along so well, that when Torre need to get back home for work, they agreed to meet up again in India to walk in the footsteps that Gandhi took on the salt march protest from Ahmadabad to Dani in the 1930's. Here, admits the chaos of India, and a sharp contrast to Italy, with the poverty, death, human conditions, etc. the fears and uncertainties once more surfaced ,and their moods changed,as they looked into their lives more, until Torre learned to be in the now and appreciate the moments and not the chaos surrounding them and they were able to reconnect and find that friendship once more.
There was a lot of good wisdom, sayings and book references in this story. So worth the read.
Thank you to NetGalley and Perseus Books, Da Capo Press

This book was frustrating to me. It sounds like it should be right up my alley: combining a memoir about loss with a memoir about walking pilgrimages. These are two of my favourite topics of memoirs and I often enjoy reading those types of books immensely. Add the fact that Torre DeRoche had already written a memoir about her relationship with her partner and how they spend a couple of years on a boat together and I was looking forward to reading this. I was absolutely intrigued to see how she would deal with the fact that her relationship that had just ended was such a public one - one she had written a monument to.

Torre DeRoche lost two of the most important men in her life: her nine-year relationship ended right around the time her father died. Apparently because her partner could not stand still long enough to stay with her while she spent time with her dying father. [Aside: I am trying very hard not to judge him here. I know we only know her side of the story... but leaving your partner to deal with the death of their father on their own because you want to keep travelling? Not cool, to say the least] She is at a loss as to how to precede with her life now - she had spent most of her time travelling and seeing the world but now feels like she wants to settle down but does not really know how to do this; how to stay in one place for an extended period of time and to put down roots. When she meets Masha - a woman she knows periphically - again in Italy she decides to accompany her first on her pilgrimage to Rome and than later on a pilgrimage following Ghandi's footsteps in India.

The memoir worked best for me when it was focussed on Torre herself and her friendship with Masha. Here the story was clear and the purpose of writing it was obvious. I would have liked for her to be a little bit more introspective - but I understand that writing a memoir is a very personal endeavour and the author needs to write it in a way that feels right for them.

The writing got a bit muddled whenever Torre DeRoche tried to make claims for everybody - here her research was definitely not thorough enough and it felt out of place in a memoir that is ultimately about a personal journey through loss to self-discovery. It sometimes felt like she wasn't quite clear as to what she wanted to accomplish - the descriptions of the walks could have been more vivid or her inner journey could have been more fleshed-out.

In the end, I did enjoy this book and especially the second part, the one dealing with India and a pilgrimage that was in many places obviously unpleasant, was super interesting to read. I just think that maybe Torre DeRoche should have waited a bit longer with writing about it. A bit of added distance might have done wonders for the focus.

First sentence: “When I was a kid, I killed everyone I loved in hundred creative ways.”

Inspiring, well-written, honest and mind opening. This memoir is less about travel - you will not find the glitz and the glamour lately associated with this brave activity and passion - and more about coping with fears, finding friendship and discovering the light out of the long dark tunnel of loss and depression. A great read!

Scary and depressing - what it is supposed to be so it is satisfying in that sense. Some of it seems a little outdated but overall a good book.