A fab read! It was really interesting to read from a male point of view and although sad, this book is wonderful. Very artistic and will make you cry and cheer for the characters throughout the story.

If you’re thinking, “Oh, I bet A Thousand Perfect Notes is going to be funny because Cait’s blog is funny” then HAHAHA <--- I’m sorry but that was your last laugh. Ever. I hope you enjoyed it. Because this book is 50% heartbreaking and 50% soul destroying and 50% gut wrenching and trust me the math adds up.

Still, as a long-time reader of Paper Fury, I have become familiar with her unique way of writing, and it was fun to find some of those “Caitisms” throughout the story, like:
•	cake
•	using “exactly” in phrases such as “this surprised exactly no one”
•	“pterodactyl screech”
I mean, I was half expecting characters to be called pineapples and beans, but maybe she’s saving that for a different book.

But even new readers of Cait’s (that’s Ms. Drews for you newbies) will find plenty to enjoy in this deeply moving story of domestic abuse, sibling love, music, and finding friendship in unexpected places & people.

I did have some issues with the friend in question, August. Don’t get me wrong, she was great and I loved what she meant to Beck. I love how he was her friend even when she wasn’t his. But she was a little too Manic Pixie Dream Girl for me. Sure, people are allowed to be quirky in a contemporary, so I’ll forgive her for putting beetroot in cupcakes.

For some reason, the thing that bothered me the most was that she didn’t wear shoes. Have a full day of school ahead of you? No shoes. Going to a playground where people use drugs? No shoes. Live in Australia where you can step on something really venomous? NO SHOES. I mean I’m sorry but I must have missed the part where August says that she’s ACTIVELY TRYING TO DIE? Can you be quirky without cutting your feet open with needles and broken glass okay thanks.

Take that out, though, and she was exactly what Beck needed. I loved the scenes in her house because they were full of dogs and also the family banter was amazing. I loved Beck’s little sister Joey, whose sole purpose is to eat and destroy. I hated that I loved how this story tore my heart
in
two.

In conclusion, this book is really good. This surprises exactly no one.

Thank you to NetGalley and the author for providing me with a review copy

‘What he wants most in the whole world is to cut off his own hands.’

Some books break you; make you feel so much it hurts, make you cry, and rage. And then they restore you, not with perfect endings or happily ever afters, but with a little bit of hope and a few good people. A Thousand Perfect Notes is exactly that kind of book for me, the kind that hurts, that heals, and stays with you long after you’ve finished reading. If you struggle with stories about child abuse, however, proceed with caution.

Beck’s situation is tragic; his mother is psychotic and abusive, trying to live vicariously through him after a stroke leaves her unable to play the piano as she once did. She has broken him completely and destroyed every ounce of his self-worth – insulting his abilities, refusing to ever tell him he’s good enough, withholding food if he doesn’t meet her standards, beating him when he messes up. He lives in constant terror, isolated from everyone except his five-year-old sister, Joey, who he loves and protects from his mother – the Maestro. Until August. A free-spirited girl he’s partnered with for an essay, whose sunshine soul manages to slowly break down the barriers Beck has put in place.

I absolutely adored Beck, Joey, and August. I wanted so badly to wrap Beck and Joey up in cotton wool and look after them; nobody should have to live in a home where beatings seem normal and there’s never enough food. The very rare moments of kindness (if they can be called that) that the Maestro showed made her all the more terrifying, leaving Beck spiralling into thoughts wondering if she could ever love him – my heart went out to him, I can’t even imagine what it must be like to have to live like that and still desperately want approval from the person hurting you. 

August and her family remined me so much of mine – intense with love, with food, with taking in waifs and strays of all varieties. August refuses to let Beck shy away from her, no matter how rude and disinterested he seems, because she likes him, she finds him interesting, and she knows that not everything is as it seems on some level. Yes, she’s drawn to the abused, the broken, but, ultimately, she’s just a good person with a good heart, and a lot of love to give. And I love that Beck and August’s story didn’t culminate in some kind of ‘loves heals all’ narrative because it doesn’t – it can help, having someone who loves you, who cares, but it’s never going to undo years of abuse and degradation, and make everything immediately better. 

This is such a wonderful, heart-breaking, and important book full of music, obsession, and abuse. Beck and Joey’s story is tragic, more so because it is a reality for so many people in this world. It’s not an easy read, but it is so worth it.

‘You are worth more than a thousand perfect notes.’

A book filled with Chopin, emotions and pain, A Thousand Perfect Notes is the perfect debut that I'm quite sure will put C.G. Drews on your watchlist.

It's rare when a book makes me feel so strongly for the characters that I just want to reach inside the pages, take their hand and whisk them away to somewhere safe. Most of the times I read about adults, and somewhere deep inside I know they are going to be fine eventually. But Beck is 15 years old, and as a teenager has less opportunities to help himself, and that uncertainty I felt the whole time was quite overwhelming.

The friendship that turned into love between Beck and August was so cute and so precious! August, the girl with sunshine in her eyes is everything Beck isn't. Outgoing, confident, chatty, and most importantly has the sort of family I hope I will have one day. Loving parents who embrace their daughter's quirky personality and open their arms to Beck, no questions asked.

Beck's quiet rebellion against his abusive and German-insult-shouting mother - a.k.a. The Maestro as he refers to her - begins after he gets a taste of freedom August just knows as normal daily life and he realizes that what happens to him can happen to his little sister, Joey any day. But can he win? Can a fifteen year old boy really do anything?

So, what can you expect to find in this book?

Absolutely beautiful writing. Prose that flows like classical music.
An adorable child. In spite of her young age Beck's little sister Joey has a lot to say, and she says it in a way you want to listen to her. I'm always wary of child characters as they tend to get annoying sometimes, but five year old Joey is pure cuteness.
A wonderful family, the Freys. Their house is filled with rescue animals, they love each other and their daughter. Serious life & parenting goals there for me!
Music. At one point I actually started playing some classical music in the background while I was reading. It was awesome.
A deep exploration into abusive child-parent relationship, written with so much compassion and care.
Beck & August: two wonderful kids whom I'd love to meet in the future again.

Well then.

Here’s the thing and I’m going to be honest about it: I mainly wanted to read this book because I follow C.G Drews on Instagram and her page is the prettiest and that led me to her blog which is one of my faves, actually and that is that -  I wanted to read her book because I enjoy her online presence. That said, I was pretty sure she would be able to write – you can tell from her blog that she can write, I just didn’t quite expect…this.

Wow. This is not eloquent. This is why I have not written a book.


Basically I wanted to read this book because C.G Drews has a blog that makes me happy and her instagram is beautiful. I knew it would be good. I did not expect it to move me in the way that it did. It’s kind of funny really because I kind of lurk – on blogs, on Instagram, on twitter; I’m not the best at forging forwards and making connections and yet I read the stuff that’s being put out there and feel like I have a sense of the person behind the screen you know? Like I felt sort of proud when I read the post about this book being published and was kind of excited to read it because I felt somehow…I don’t know, invested?

All that said, I do not know the author of this book and I did go into it with an open mind – a little nervous in case it was terrible perhaps – and I am unbiased.

THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS.

It’s emotionally charged this book, which, it’s a story about the abuse a young virtuoso suffers at the hands of his Mother – this book takes pushy parenting to the next level, wow – so it was always going to be, but ultimately, it’s incredibly hopeful. It’s an easy read but not an easy story and I don’t know, I just liked it. I got lost in it and I came away from it wishing I didn’t have to, wishing I could stay in that little world just a bit longer and make sure everybody was ok.

And I really really liked it.

I liked it because it made me think and it made me feel – even though it didn’t always make me feel good. I liked the dialogue and the description and the way it was written in present third tense. Drews is a really nice writer and for a debut this is really strong – she’s just announced her second book actually and I’m really excited to see how she’s going to build on what she’s done here because what’s she’s done here is good. Her writing is pretty and lyrical and her characterisation strong and clear – all the things I like, thank-you.

I liked it because of the story, which is ouchy and raw and intense and yet still so full of love. Beck is this gorgeous tortured character and yet he’s so full of heart. I wanted to put him in my pocket. It was intense though, I feel like that’s a thing I should make clear. This is not a beach read or an easy feel-good read at all and it’s pretty harrowing at times. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. It’s absolutely worth it though, or I thought so at least.

I liked it because of the sibling relationship which is the cutest thing I ever did read – also Beck’s little sister’s called Joey WHICH I AM ALSO CALLED. Beck’s spent his whole life being beaten down by his Mother and yet still there’s this enduring love for his little sister, who loves him back just as hard and watching the two of them interact made me ache. And laugh. Joey is the best. (Although, side note – I have serious concerns about the Australian school system if this book is an accurate representation because why was a teenage boy being held responsible for a five year old child? Why did nobody at that school thing ‘oh actually we won’t go on at Beck about this because he is not the parent, WHERE IS THE PARENT’ That was my major niggle through the whole book actually – people with a duty of care when it came to Joey were failing and I didn’t like it)

I liked it because of the music. Although, I shall not lie, this book is music heavy and I did wonder whether that might be a little too much for people who don’t have any basic musical knowledge. If, for example, you don’t know what an etude is, will you find this book hard because the musical references: there are a lot. Perhaps. Perhaps not. I liked them, to the point I kind of want to dust off that clarinet and see if I can even remember a scale.

I liked it because of Beck’s relationship with his Mother – who treats him so so awfully and yet is not just a two-dimensional demon but somebody fully fleshed out with a sympathetic backstory. She’s awful and the way she treats Beck and Joey is awful and hard to read and unforgivable and I hated her, she made me sick, but there’s something to her as well, a glimmer of humanity beneath the surface which made her really fascinating to read about.

I liked it because it takes the whole manic pixie dreamgirl trope – which I have negative feelings about for the most part – and turns it on it’s head. You start off thinking ‘oh here we go, quirky female character who’s a little bit Pollyanna; I totes know where this is going’ but it’s more than that -  August is excellent and Beck and August are excellent and I loved that this was not your contemporary YA love story.

And I have no idea why this review is just a list. This is a new format and I have no idea where it has come from. You get the gist though, A Thousand Perfect Note which is published in June, is a book I liked.

I just didn't find this an engaging story, I felt the beginning was confusing, and I didn't finish it

I don't read as much contemporary or even young adult fiction, as I read adult fantasy, but when I heard about Cait's book I immediately requested a review copy. I read it in one sitting. It is gripping and gut-wrenching.

I really enjoyed my read, but I must point out just how dark this is. A Thousand Perfect Notes is the story of Beck and Beck really hates his life. Beck grew up with an abusive mother. Beck's mother is a monster. She's a human being, broken by life, bitter and sad. I feel sorry for Beck's mother, but that does not change the fact Beck is being abused every single day. The abuse is described in detail by C. G. Drews. The author does not shy away from it, and while I personally think it's handled extremely well, and in a realistic way, I also do think it could be triggering for some.

Beck is a musician, an artist. I fell in love with his character. August is a girl full of life. I was worried she'd be too much and over the top, but it turned out that she's the perfect character to pair Beck with.

The prose is very much Cait, vivid and descriptive. If you read her blog @ Paperfury, you're familiar with her style. Sometimes, I found the metaphors a bit much, but overall I quite enjoyed it.

I recommend A Thousand Perfect Notes to everyone who loves contemporary young adult, or enjoys Cait's blog. Ultimately, it has the most terrifying antagonist/villain, I've ever encountered in YA fiction. Evil Queens have nothing on Beck's mother.

"He slams the keys and they howl with Chopin's chaos instead of his own"

* * * * 
4 / 5

A Thousand Perfect Notes is not the kind of book that I typically pick up - a YA romance with a focus on abuse - mostly because I'm not a romance reader and reading books about abuse is typically quite depressing. And this book was dark, but it also had a good splash of hope. 

"Isn't sixteen for kissing boys and driving cars and deciding on your future of possibilities?"

I picked this one up almost primarily because it was written by a blogger that I have followed for a couple of years - C. G. Drews aka Paper Fury - and she seemed seriously excited! My interest continued to be caught by part of the premise: it's about a guy, Beck, who plays the piano expertly but hates it. As a child, I too hated playing the piano (though I did want to be good at it, just, like, without any of the effort). The difference between me and Beck is that Beck's mother is horrendously emotionally and physically abusive. Which sucks for him, big time.

Beck is so focused on trying to please his abominable mother and trying to shield his younger sister from her wrath, that he doesn't have a single friend. Until he is paired up in English class with enthusiastic, hippyish, and persistent August. August, who seems to genuinely want to get to know him; August, who's family is normal and kind; August, who he absolutely cannot be friends with because his mother would go insane.

"He's not a shell of a pianist - he's a composer. Cut his chest and see his heart beat with a song all his own"

Beck is a really complex, conflicted character. He has music in his head, in his soul, and he knows that he cannot live without it but dear God he hates practicing the piano and performing on stage with the shadow of his mother looming over his every move. It would be very hard not to feel for Beck. But I do think A Thousand Perfect Notes overdoes it on the darkness and the tension - I was constantly on edge whilst reading this book, which made it hard to relax when something nice was happening. The main point of humour in the book was "witty banter" between August and Beck, some of which hit the mark perfectly and some of which was pretty cringeworthy. 

A Thousand Perfect Notes is a difficult read. It's about love and family and friendship and abuse and it really ramps up the emotions. 

My thanks to Netgalley, the publisher, and the author for an ARC of A Thousand Perfect Notes

I'll admit I was scared to read this book. Not because of what it's about, but because of who wrote it. Cait has been a dear friend of mine for a few years new and I've beta read for her before. So I was scared to read this book because what if I don't like it? Or will people think I'm biased? But of course I had to read it. And I was careful to be just as critical with this book as I am with all others. And it still exceeded all expectations I could possibly have. A Thousand Perfect Notes is nothing short of excellent. 

First of all, I have to start with a warning. This book gets dark, people. Very dark. It's an insanely intense and dark read at times so go in prepared. It's about abuse, so I'm throwing a trigger warning here for that.

I wanted to list my negatives first but honestly I can't think of any so I'm just going to skip to flailing about this book like an insane person. First, the writing. OH MY GOD THE WRITING. I mean I have read things from the author before and they were always beyond amazing but the writing in this book is just stellar. Above excellent. I was hooked right from the start and Beck and his story had me clinging to the pages until it was over. So yeah, I read it in one spectacular sitting in which I laughed and cried and gasped and cried some more. The emotions leap off the pages and honestly? It's been a while since I've read a book that was this gripping and had such an impact on me.

Beck is such a precious boy and it's hard not to feel for him right from the start. His home situation is downright miserable. His mom is one of the most awful parents I've come across in YA and I just wanted to slap her to be honest. She tries to live out her dream through him and is so demanding and negative and obsessive towards him that even I felt the pressure of it on my shoulders. And Beck just takes it and he's so kind-hearted and gentle and he adores his younger sister Joey. It was so sad to see him suffer and try to keep August at a distance because he was so scared of what his mother might do to him for having a friend. For having a life of his own.

August on the other hand was so full of life and unique and I liked her instantly. She's a bit quirky and she has like a million dogs at home and she tries to get Beck out of his shell and their friendship was so wonderful it might my heart happy. Is there a romance? Yes, kind of? But it's very slow-burning and sweet and it doesn't "cure" anything at all. So I was very pleased with that.

Overall... A Thousand Perfect Notes is one of the most explosive and excellent debuts I've ever read and I'm so proud of my friend, who is so extraordinarily talented. This is one book you have to read, for sure.

A Thousand Perfect Notes was stunning. It made me cry and broke my heart. Even when it pieced it back together again my chest still ached. It is an emotionally driven, masterfully written debut that exceeded all of my expectations.

Beck's life is miserable. He is forced to play the piano for hours on end by his mother, a once talented pianist whose career was shattered after a stroke. She forces expectations onto Beck that he can never meet, and as a result Beck internalises his own true aspirations. But all of that changes when he befriends August. Where Beck is described as a toasted marshmallow, August is orange peels and wildflowers and sunshine and lemonade. With her in his life, Beck starts to feel a little more brave.

The descriptions of the people and the food and the music in this book were incredibly vivid. It was like I could see the characters in front of me, taste the cake they were eating and hear their music in my mind. I could feel the passion and emotion that filled these characters and the writing made everything feel dreamy and lucid all at once.

The conflict inside Beck was so intense. The piano is torture for him, but it is also his life. He refuses to be anything like his abusive mother, but music lives inside of him. There are worlds of turmoil inside these characters and Drews explores them beautifully.

With a magical writing style and tragically hopeful characters, A Thousand Perfect Notes is a powerful tale.


Thank you to Netgalley for providing me an ebook copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Warnings: blood, violence, child abuse, physical abuse, domestic abuse

Content warning: Child abuse, self-harm (or thoughts about it).

Caveat time (we all love caveat time, don’t we?). I don’t tend to read this genre, it’s not my preferred kind of read so all my perceptions are going to be slightly skewed as a result. Obviously, it wouldn’t be fair to just roll with my own biases and to write a negative review (especially since I did enjoy the book). So, I’ve tried to write this and to view the book without letting too much of my own biases colour this, either the fact that I am slightly acquainted with the author or the fact that I don’t typically read this kind of book.

I had a couple of concerns going into this book. One was that it was going to be a little too harrowing if that makes sense? Sometimes books that explore child abuse can feel very voyeuristic and that makes me somewhat uncomfortable. In this book, there are some graphic descriptions of the child abuse that Beck undergoes which will make readers uncomfortable. However, it never feels as though this is being shared for entertainment value, so I think a good balance was struck.

My other concern was for the character of August, that she would be another example of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl (MPDG) trope which is so overdone. Other people all over the internet have summarised the issues with this trope far better than I ever could so if you don’t know about this I would highly recommend doing a quick search and seeing what you find.

While you’re there I would also suggest listening to my lovely friend Reesha’s song by the same name, she makes me chuckle.

Anyway, back to the point. In a lot of ways August is a MPDG, she ticks a lot of those boxes. I think it’s subverted to an extent, and August certainly gets her moments to show who she is as a character. I think it’ll depend on what mindset you read it in, and how you interpret some of the dialogue as to whether August is a MPDG or not? But isn’t that kind of the fun thing about books, that we all read them differently? Magical. *Fills the air with glitter*.

It’s a third person narrative that reads very poetically at times (ok quite a lot of the time) which, again is something that you should decide for yourself if you enjoy. I believe it fits with the character, adding to his introverted, repressed creative side.

Be prepared to get very sad (I wept, but I cry at everything), because this book goes to some dark places. However, there are some very hopeful moments (and also dogs) which I think helps to lift it from that sense of voyeurism that I mentioned earlier to being a complete story. Again, a personal thing, but having grown up in a very musical family and still being very musical myself (a reminder that if you’re in Edinburgh at the end of August you can come see the musical I’m composing for) those moments of music really spoke to me.

Should you read this? If you’re in the right place to read this I would definitely recommend. As a community, we’ve been burned somewhat by big personalities online getting publishing deals but in this instance, I think it is definitely a match made in…if not heaven then somewhere nearby.

My rating: 4/5 stars

I received a digital advanced review copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

This review appears on Goodreads. My book blog is currently on hiatus due to university finals, but I'm hoping to cross-post it when I can. I imagine it'll get removed from Amazon because I know the author, though, so I don't think I'll be able to post it there (sorry). My exams finish the day it comes out, though, so I'll def be raving about it then!

---

I was extremely apprehensive about reading this. I mean -- excited! Definitely excited! I requested it without even hesitating when I saw it on NetGalley. But then the pressure kicked in, and I began to get seriously nervous about reading it. I put it off. I kept telling myself I was waiting until nearer the release date.

The truth is: when you've known someone more than five years (and Facebook said Cait and I became FB friends five years ago yesterday), and you've talked about books and characters until the cows come home, and then their debut gets published... well, I can't speak for anyone else, but I found it anxiety-inducing. I've read some of Cait's work before, mostly early drafts, but I hadn't read this one. What if I didn't like it? What if I had to write a negative or at least middling review of it?!

I didn't think I could handle that. Especially when I knew she'd read whatever I said. (Hi, Cait.)

So I put it off. Again, and again. I felt bad, because hey, I had a chance to read it before publication and at this rate I wasn't going to get there, but I made excuses. I was too busy with uni to have the brainpower to commit to it (not untrue). It doesn't come out until June, so I should wait (also valid). I knew that when I eventually did read it, I wouldn't tell Cait I was doing so until I was a decent way through the book, and also that I wouldn't add it to Goodreads until I was done. It was the only way I could manage it.

Finally, on the coach on the way to a dance competition, I decided to read it. To distract myself. That turned out to be a terrible idea, because this book is Not Relaxing At All. Also, it deals quite a lot with performance anxiety specifically, so that did nothing to distract me from my own performance anxiety. (I don't really know why I thought it would. Not the smartest choice on my part.)

Also, as someone who used to play music and can no longer really do so because of hand injuries...

I might've cried on a coach. Quite a lot. When I was only, like, 15% of the way through the book. It wasn't pretty.

Anyway, I had to put the book away because of motion sickness, though I did break my own promise and tell Cait I was reading it and that she'd made me cry. I was planning to read the rest that night, but then I had a terrible day, and then I was too exhausted, so it took until the following evening for me to pick it up again. I told myself I wasn't going to read the whole thing because (a) I'm meant to be doing uni work and (b) finishing it would mean I was obliged to try and write a review and as previously mentioned, I wasn't entirely sure I was going to be able to handle that.

I finished it and I have no idea how to write a review.

So here are a few things:

* It's good. It's really freaking good. Like, it's emotionally good, but it's also really well-written. I highlighted a million lines just because I liked them.
* I cried or nearly-cried half a dozen times.
* Cait somehow made me care about a romance. Not only a romance, but a hetero romance. What. How. I call witchcraft.
* This hit a bunch of really specific feeling spots for me, some of which I didn't actually know were there in the first place.
* If you like sibling relationships you will also cry while reading this book.
* Beck's mum is awful and yet ... I somehow still felt like I understood her. She wasn't a one-dimensional villain. And maybe that's just my own 'can't play music anymore so I compensate by channelling that into other stuff' feelings coming through (although I hope I channel it more positively than she does), but it made the whole thing so much more emotional.
* You can tell it's Australian, but it's easily comprehensible and nobody drives a ute. To my great relief. I still remember when I was beta-reading for Cait and had to occasionally ask whether something was a typo or whether that was, in fact, an Australian word. About 80% of the time it was the latter.
* Even though he's never mentioned in the book, it made me want to listen to Shostakovich, which is a very specific Musical Angst mood.
* (My only complaint is that there should've been some Shostakovich.) (No Musical Angst is complete without Shostakovich.)

I don't even know what else I can say about this.

It comes out the day I sit my last ever university exam. I will probably celebrate by going to a bookshop and buying a physical copy because I need one in my life. You should do the same.

It's not often that you find a book that haunts you but from the very first line of the book I couldn't leave it alone. I usually find myself skim-reading but with this I was hooked on every word.
Excuse the overly effusive praise but this felt like a favourite song that you can't help savouring over and over and it kept on resonating long after I'd finished.

Beck is a fifteen year old boy who hates his life. His mother was a famous classical pianist and she demands that he follow in her footsteps. She is tyrannical, obsessive and violent in her insistence that he be 'note perfect' with each recital. She spends all of their money on forcing him to become her protégée when all he wants is to disappear.
He has no friends, no hobbies and no hope. The only joy in his life is his sister, Joey, until the arrival of August- a girl he has seen from afar but never spoken to until they are forced to do a project together. 
August brings light into his life and shows him that he is not the pathetic failure he has been made to believe.

There should be trigger warnings for abuse, both physical and mental and for neglected children.
Beck's story is brilliantly woven, you can feel his desperation and fears as he fights against becoming like his mother. The mother is at once a monster and pitiable figure, human but you can feel how she looms so large in Beck's head so as to be a giant.
Joey is a delightful sprite, but there are glimpses into her PTSD as she tries to block out what is happening to her brother.
August is fantastically portrayed as a hippy child full of love for broken things but passion and a new kind of experience for Beck.

I devoured this book but found myself at odd times just living inside his head, wondering if he was okay and empathizing with Beck. It stayed with me after I'd finished, and the 'book hangover' was real.
I loved it and honestly think it's one of the best books I've read this year.

Being a follower of Cait/Paper Fury for a while, this was always going to be a book I picked up. As suggested by the blurb, this is a book with some very dark themes and when the first line of the book is; "What he wants most in the world is to cut off his own hands.", you know you're in for a wild ride. 

Lets talk about Beck, the main protagonist. Everything is a struggle for him, I don't mean that sarcastically, even the one thing he excels at, playing the piano, gives him no joy. The only good thing he has in his life is his little sister Joey, though even she verbally abuses him and kicks him in the shin on multiple occasions -there is still a lot of love there though. Cait has just chosen to give us as much angst as possible. 

So Beck is a virtuoso, not by choice or passion, but by force. His mother was a famous pianist before a stroke left her hands unable to play. So she does what any parent would do when their dreams are shattered, she lives through her children. The Maestro is a monster, she uses threats and violence to make Beck play and she punishes him when he slips up, even if it is to do with exhaustion or pain. It was really difficult to read, but I couldn't stop. 

Beck's life is made even more inconvenient when he gets paired with August on a school project. Beck is reluctant but August forces her company on him and a super sweet companionship ensues. August doesn't really hide that she thinks Beck is interesting/attractive/has beautiful eyes, which I really liked. She drops in these compliments so casually, and Beck doesn't know what to do with that kind of affection, so again it's sweet to see him wrestle with it. The poor guy deserves nice things but he has so much going on that he can't think about that for the majority of the book, so don't think this is one of those 'love fixes all' scenarios, but it's still a nice break from all the awful. 

Cait's use of description is brilliant, there was one scene in particular when I was just in awe and the vivid images that were created just left me speechless. It's briefly explored that Beck has a passion for composition, and I would like to have seen more of this, when he forgets the piece he's supposed to play, he plays the notes in his head with unexpected results. 

Contemporary is always risky with me, but this was a very real book that covered some serious topics. I even think at times it felt like there was magical realism at work in the music scenes, the piano and music itself became this entity that could either be a dark character, and very briefly a ray of hope. Another scene I really liked was when August introduces Beck to her music and it's as though he has some kind of spiritual awakening. All he's ever known is classical piano and he thinks it means he hates music because he hates that so passionately, but he hears Twice Burgundy and its like nothing he's experienced before; definitely magical. 

I would recommend this book to anyone, like me, who enjoys ugly crying while reading a book. This book made me feel things and I think everyone should at least give it a go. A warning though, get ready to shed a thousand painful tears.

Oh my, this one just about broke me. Occasionally you get those rare books where the situation is so horrendous that you can't bear to read more, but it's so well-written and you've bonded so hard with the characters that you just can't put it down. This is one of those books that left me gasping. It is dark. The abuse is visceral (not graphic, particularly, but you feel it in your bones). Mutter is a classic model of coercive control, holding the threat of violence to both Beck and his sister over his head constantly. And yet, there's hope. I can see the "August is a manic pixie dream girl" reviews and I'd respectfully disagree - she has her own agenda. She knows exactly what's going on and further, knows that it's very hard to break someone out of coercive control quickly. By building a connection to the wider world that Beck can rely on, she enables him to grow enough to make change.

Highly recommended.

Read this as included in the May Illumicrate. Really heartbreaking read yet some lovely touching moments with both the siblings & August. Think the Illumicrate customers will love it!

A Thousand Perfect Notes is a story of music, abuse, sorrow, and a little bit of hope. For a contemporary, it's fast-paced while remaining very character driven. It was so easy to see the author's passion for piano, for her characters, and for writing in this novel, making it a compulsive read, even if it's emotionally very heavy. 

I'm sure practically the whole book blogging community is dying to read this, and literally every single thing Cait writes. She's done everyone who has followed her reading and writing journey proud.

Such an emotionally-charged and intense read! Characters are vivid and engaging from the start. The reader feels immediate involvement and attachment with Beck and Joey, real concern for them, and hope and anxiety for their future.. Heart-wrenching and tragic, yet also uplifting. Beautifully written. Absolutely 5 stars.

"If he were a piano, all his strings would have snapped"


I AM NOT OKAY

This FREAKING book?! This book?! THIS BOOK . My heart is broken and these are only small tears I'm swallowing down. I feel like my insides have just been ripped out and the air has been stolen from my lungs and someone has taken my soul and has let it crumble because of this book. OH HOLY FRICK.

"Life is rubbish. It’s cure and unfair and it always kicks the feet out from under you"


I kind of just stabbed my Kindle, like "why won't you turn to the next page?" but I came to the realisation that I had finished the book...and THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO. I... I am deceased.

MY FEELINGS.

I was only a little worried that I wouldn't like this because...it's contemporary. But I mean IT'S BY THE QUEEN CAIT, I had to love it. But pffftt, WHY WAS I EVEN SCARED?!? I loved every moment of it, and excuse the pun, it was perfect .

Okay ENOUGH OF ME BEING A HUGE SLOPPY MESS OF HEARTBROKEN-NESS AND TEARS AND GUSHING, onto the review 

Beck is a precious cinnamon roll and I love him so much omggg. He's grumpy but smol and soft on the inside and asdfghjkl I NEED TO PROTECT HIM. I kind of just wanna give him hot chocolate and cake and a blanket and be like "YOUR DOING AMAZING SWEETIE" because he just deserves everything in this entire world. NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN TO HIM. ever. 

"If people cut him open, they'd never accuse him of being empty"


But the thing is his mother abuses him. She forces him to play the piano, every day, for excruciating amounts of time. Beck is not allowed a life because he has to practice the piano. He refers to his mother as the Maestro because she's evil and over-powering and watching him suffer was such a heartbreaking experience. I just wanted him to be okay? JUST FOR ONCE. My feels.

"Music is nothing unless it fills your soul with colour and passion and dreams."


Beck hates it. Hates playing the same pieces over and over again. He has this music inside of him and he wants to compose HIS OWN MUSIC. But his mother forbids it and forces him to play what SHE wants.There are so many times when I wished death upon Beck's mother. So many times when I just wanted to hug Beck because it wasn't okay. 

And then we have August. I had slight worries it would be “love-interest-saves-you-from-your-abuser tope” or that she'd fall into a “manic pixie girl “stereotype so I was scared. But again, why?? August was amazing and i ADORE HER SO MUCH?!?? She's just so vibrant and full of energy and smiles and her house is basically stuffed with animals and she's just great okay?!! I do not have the words to describe how fantastically AWESOME August is. 

AND BECK AND AUGUST TOGETHER. ASDFGHJKL: LKJHGFDSASDFGHJKL KJHGFD SASDF GHJKLK JHGFDSASDFGHJKL I HAVE NO WORDS I AM NOT OKAY THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL AND MY HEART IS EXPLODING WITH LOVE AND I AM JUST SO FULL OF HAPPINESS AND STARS I AM BURSTING. Agh okay. It's a slow-burn romance and it's cute and awkward and alive and beautiful and perfect and I just can't It is actually painful for me to even talk about them because of THE ENDING. But later. Let me just pretend that they live happily together with eating cakes in strange shops and sharing music together and playing songs for each other on the piano and holding hands and watching the stars and MY. HEART. I SHIP THEM SO WILDLY IT HURTS. My. Emotions. 

"You are worth more than a thousand perfect notes"


Agh, they're SO INCREDIBLY cute. And I would honestly wholeheartedly read a book about them just being happy cinnamon rolls. PETITION FOR CAIT TO WRITE THIS BOOK PLEASE AND THANKS.

"I'll write you an entire symphony if you ask."


And there are snippets of GERMAN in here. His mother speaks German so like there's a few German insults and such and I love it??? If you don't know already, GERMANY IS MY FAVOURITE COUNTRY EVER. Brb, Fangirling forever. 

I love the writing. I love how there are such beautiful lines in here that just give me chills because they're that good. I especially loved the way Beck described how he felt when he played his music. Those experiences and descriptions. DOWNRIGHT BEAUTIFUL. 

And it's SUCH a Cait book?? Not in a bad way, in the best way possible. Like there's CAKE (I mean would it be her book if there wasn't cake) and there's chocolate and there's so much food, MY STOMACH IS RUMBLING. And there's banter and strange parents and such witty lines, I'm falling over in appreciation? 

"Chocolate is a substance worth existing for" THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH ONLY. And I have never read such a relatable sentence: "Pairing? Group projects? Is the world intent of being cruel today?"

JOEY IS BECK'S LITTLE BROTHER and SHE'S FANTASTIC!! Excuse me while I just fall in love with every single character but she's really something. I love their sibling relationship and she's just so fiery and bubbly and ahhh. She’s annoying and lovable at the same time. Gah, siblings.

"He's pretty sure glitter is an evil substance that is magnetically attracted to people who hate it most."

THE ENDING TOOK MY SOUL, CRUSHED IT, PUT IT BACK TOGETHER AGAIN, AND THEN LET IT CRUMBLE AGAIN. (view spoiler)

I have ranted for way too long. I WANT TO GUSH ABOUT THIS BOOK FOREVER. This happily took my expectations and blew them apart because I WASN’T EXPECTING THIS. This book is a book about soft, sweet boys and magical, brave girls and cake and chocolate and hope and escaping and being happy and being trapped and music and pianos and it’s heartbreaking and everything I never knew I needed.

It was really really good. An excellent debut. There was one thing that irritated me throughout the book however. The fact that I had no idea where it was set until the name of Beck's uncle's tour was given, which then gave it away. I think that is my only criticism and it is definitely an excellent read.