A rare insight into the life of a woman being kept captive in a cult for 30 years and escapes. The writing is great, the journey hair-raising.

To be 100% honest it was the title that initially drew me to this book, then the cover kind of intrigued me a little more, the blurb encouraged me to want to read the book and then when I found out this courageous woman actually lived not far from where I do. Apparently Katy Morgan-Davies lives in Leeds.

A stark white cover with just a small square window showing the outside and the blue sky. I think the cover actually depicts the title of the book brilliantly
ie, the caged bird, looking through the window, wanting to be free, wanting to escape and to be able to look through the window wishing she was a bird in that sky, free to fly wherever she wanted. I think the minimalist styling of the cover may actually drew me to the book more, as I wanted to know who was looking out of that very small window and why.

The genres listed for this book are Biographies and Memoirs and they fit very well. I think those who read

This book is the biography/memoir of Katy Morgan-Davies who was born into a rather different way of life and into and unconventional family.

First of all I should explain that Katy was not the name this brave women started out her life being called. Within the cult she grew up in she went by the name of Prem, or was referred to as "Project Prem". She then tried out a few different names mostly to fit the imaginary lives she played out in her head which for her was (I'm sure you will agree when you have read the book) the way she coped with her life. So throughout my review I refer to Project Prem/Prem/Rosie as the name she finally decided on and uses as her author name for this book, Katy.

Katy was brought up not going out to school, she was "home schooled" at home by the other members of the cult. Katy is kept in the house all the time only allowed out into the garden when it is evening when no one is around to witness it and ask questions as to who she is. This means Katy has no friends of her own age, nor does she have any contact with anyone else outside of her household at all. Katy's upbringing is what I can only describe as eccentric. Katy is deprived of any form of comfort at all. Anyone found hugging, or showing any type of affection is severely
punished. The only way to live or rather exist is by employing a life of dumb obedience. It turns out that Katy is not on any type of official list or document she really "doesn't exist" legally. Then you read the quote in the blurb and understanding dawns, that yes Katy truly was "the shadow child no one ever saw".


It is truly horrific how Katy is forced to live, no friends or family relationships of any sort. In fact her own grandparents do not know of her existence.
. . . its difficult to describe the book as it is interesting and terrible at the same time. The pace of the book is of rather slow in parts, dare I say, it does feel a little monotonous in certain sections and you think about what Katy went through on a daily basis, you ponder what on earth every day must have felt like for her. A minute must have felt like an hour, a month perhaps felt more like a year. The routine the cult kept was fastidious, every had to be done to the precise specifications of what the cult leader Bala decreed. He referred to himself as
being immortal, as being their God. After around a third of the book, I knew I absolutely had to finish the whole book, I totally had to know how everything ended for Katy. Having said that, there really were occasions I had to put the book down and take a break, what Katy goes through is not exactly light hearted easy reading. I am glad I read the whole book and I hope it is a popular book and many other people read it as Katy deserves to have her story told.

Other members of the cult have attempted escape, some were brought back and badly beaten in an attempt to bring them back into line with the teachings of their God Comrade Bala. These women are also emotionally abused, as if they do anything wrong, in act, in fact they even think of doing something wrong and Bala finds out, they are severely punished and humiliated as well as being constantly verbally abused too. The abuse does not just come from Bala but from all the other Comrades at the instruction of Bala.

Escape for anyone is difficult as when they join the cult, they give up all connection with family and friends, because of course the only people they need and who are worthy of their time are other cult members. Even so cult members are not encouraged to grow close in anyway at all to one another. The only "relationship" they are permitted to have is with Bala and that is on his terms and subject to his demands and whims. Escape or Katy is almost impossible, she doesn't know anyone at all outside the cult she exists in. She has no idea who could or would help her or even how to seek out the help she would need. Not only that, Katy is very rarely left alone. When she goes to the toilet, a comrade accompanies her and actually watches. The same when she has a bath, Katy has no privacy at all.

Katy was forced to live never really knowing about her true parentage. Its not until after her escape that she learns her father is also the head of their cult. Katy doesn't know which of the women in the house they are in is her mother and there is no mother/daughter relationship at all. the women are encouraged to tell tales of indiscretions about each other.

Sian had to be extra hard on Katy so as not to arouse suspicions of her giving Katy special treatment as she is Katy's biological mother. There is a highly emotional scene in the book when Katy is allowed to visit Comrade Sian in hospital after she has an "accident". It is Bala himself that takes Katy to the hospital, he actually explains to the hospital staff that Katy is a "family friend". It's clear Sian is seriously ill and Katy has had suspicions that she is her mother for some time. When Bala tells her it is time they left, something comes over Katy and she gathers courage, because what she is about to say will no doubt result in punishment for her. Katy turns back to Sian in the hospital bed and says goodbye to her mother. Sian replies calling Katy baby. It is then that Katy feels sure Sian truly is her mother. It is the last time Katy sees her mother as Sian dies.

I don't want to go into intricate detail about what Katy went through, how she finally escaped, who let her down and still blindly believed in the word of Bala, even campaigning Bala's innocence, despite her part in helping Katy to escape and then those whom though they managed to escape the cult when Katy was still very young, never forgot her and came forward to support her case against her biological father Bala. For all the bad Katy endures she does finally meet some lovely supportive people who play a significant part in her lie as she learns how to live independently.

As a reader this book takes you through a whole wide range of emotions. You also find yourself asking how could no one have known of this poor, innocent,child's
existence. Then you wonder how she will escape and how she can possibly build a life when she has no real-life skills. This book is so much more than what I have described and revealed within this review.

The author's story is worth reading. Her writing makes it even more worth reading.
Kept a virtual prisoner for 30 years by her cult-leading, God-like, so-called Communist father living in suburban London. Her father/God was/is deranged with thoughts that he is able to cause disasters as punishment for cult members misdemeanours. Such disasters include Princess Di's death, the Challenger disaster, the death of the Malaysian PM and the 2004 tsunami.
Katy was denied contact with the outside world, never went to school, never had a friend, never was hugged or allowed to laugh and play. Once she escaped she had to deal with severe mental and physical health issues.
Her upbringing and ability to remain sane, articulate and knowledgeable would be a great study of nature versus nurture.
But what makes this book is her constant hope for a better life and, now she is free, to be able to help others. She certainly reminded me of the beauty of freedom and the privilege of being able to make choices. It's a tragic story and one with a real happy ending. Loved it.

Very hard to read but how much harder to have had to live this life. What a brave young woman.to have lived through this most cruel of times and then to re-live all the details which I am sure she would rather forget.