I've been employing the sort of methods this book teaches for well over a decade now and I can testify that it definitely makes for more peace of mind in the long term. Women tend to be taught from infancy to make less noise, take up less space, to be helpful and open and obliging. Which means in many situations where swift action and decision are called for, that early ingrained and fatal politeness takes over and we hesitate. If you are naturally an altruistic, nurturing person on top of that early conditioning, then it's a bad combination often resulting in toxic friendships and relationships and people taking advantage of you. This book would have been great for me in my twenties tbh and I recommend it for everyone who feels it's hard to say 'no' or 'get lost' or in fact is tormented with guilt or the need to explain after they do either of these things. Really the title is a bit click bait because this is about learning to be assertive and placing equal value on yourself as on others. Told in a witty, entertaining way this was a surprisingly enjoyable read.

I’ve always believed that most self-help books are just common sense written down. For the most part, I think this is true of this book. A lot of the things it suggests you do are things I know I ought to do in principle. But there is a power in reading someone tell you that you should stop giving a frack what people think about you (within reason) and to just get on with your life. I hadn’t anticipated the power that would have, it was almost as if your perception changes to being ‘well if I put time into reading the book I had better actually do at least one of the suggestions in it”.

So, what did I do? Well for starters I sent an email I might not have sent otherwise for fear of rocking the boat. You know what? That boat apparently needed a little bit of rocking, I’m feeling a lot better, even though it might lead to a bit of weirdness down the line – that’s not my problem at this point. Secondly, as my Twitter followers will know, I did a wardrobe clear out. I was done feeling obligated to hold onto certain clothes because I felt like I would one day want them. I can decide now to not give a crap about future me’s attachment to those clothes. My wardrobe is tidier, I have more control over what I wear and I don’t feel bad for having so much stuff!

There are a few elements to this book that just didn’t apply to me, for instance, the parenting chapter was pretty much irrelevant and I can’t speak to whether it would be helpful for an actual parent. I also would argue that some of her examples are a little oversimplified for most people, while it is obviously ideal to cut toxic people out of your life completely, that’s not always going to be doable, you might work with them, they could be your partner’s friends or your friend’s partners. But using a simplified example to explain the theory is fair enough.

Obviously, I have no other self-help books I can compare this to, but it seemed to me to be a good read. It is nice and short, a quick refresher in things that I think we all know but often don’t tell ourselves enough. I’m not sure that the author goes into enough detail when exploring how to not end up being disliked by a lot of people, the assumption seems to be that most people don’t mind being said no to, and those that do aren’t worth your time – which isn’t necessarily true. But I think the consensus with books like these is that you take them as you need them, and for me, that was with a pinch of salt.

My rating: 3/5 stars

I received a digital advanced review copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

This is the book i'd have liked to read when I was in the twenties.
A witty, funny and enjoyable guide on how to say no to people and situation who want to force you into saying yes to their requests.
Even if now I'm older and learned how to say no there're still some tricks and advice that can be useful.
It was a useful and fun read.
Highly recommended.
Many thanks to Kings Road Publishing and Netgalley for this ARC

This is a book written especially for those who suffer from an overwhelming willingness to help others. A member of my family was told by a psychologist she works alongside, that many of the problems she had in her life were as a consequence of this very mindset, but how can you change it if that is your nature? I feel that having an altruistic nature inevitably leads to not-so-nice individuals exploiting your "weakness" and taking advantage. There is nothing wrong with finding pleasure in aiding others, except when it results in that person being on the backfoot in terms of health, finances etc, which happens a lot more than you might think.

"The Good Girl's Guide To Being A D*ck" teaches you that you don't always need to be nicer, calmer or more patient. In fact, some of us need the exact opposite! Yes, there is such a thing as being too nice, it seems. It guides you on - how to identify who and what to remove from your life and how to learn to stop worrying about what others think. It teaches you to embrace your own needs and desires, making for a higher quality life.

Although this is an incredibly important book for those inclined to appease others, Reinwarth writes in such a fabulously witty and engaging manner that it doesn't seem as much of a self-help book as it might've and will no doubt having you laughing along as you read.

Many thanks to Kings Road Publishing for an ARC.

The Good Girl's Guide to Being a D*ck is a very useful little book. It shows you how to learn to say no to people in various common scenarios, and to deal with awkward family discussions. It is wittily written with bags of common sense. I could imagine referring to it before saying no to a workplace jolly, or an extended family cruise holiday. It would make a great discussion book at a book club too, as most people struggle to deal with confrontation.