Cover Image: Pieces of Me

Pieces of Me

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This was a brilliant read. As soon as I started reading this book I just knew I was going to love it. Highly recommended

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Emma works in Iraq, helping to interview Iraqis who have supported the US forces in some way, to seek refuge in the United States. Adam is a medic in the special forces, undertaking dangerous missions that he cannot discuss. When Adam tries to help an interpreter who saved his life, the two characters cross paths, and begin to develop a bond, which soon turns into something more. But can this relationship survive once the pair move to America together and have to deal with the issues that haunt them?

Natalie Hart’s characters are well-drawn and interesting. Told from the point of view of Emma, the story shifts time frames effortlessly from the pair’s blossoming romance in Iraq to their new life together in Colorado Springs. As a British born character, Emma feels as adrift as many of her immigrant friends in America; she struggles to find her place in an environment which is wholly unfamiliar, particularly once Adam returns to the conflict in Iraq. Emma is a compelling character who holds on to the loss of her father when she was a girl, feeling distant from her family as a consequence.

There is something immediate and real about how the pair’s relationship is portrayed, and I appreciated that while the story is romantic in some respects, it fails to give the reader the neat resolution we might expect. As their relationship unravels, it is quiet, well-paced and not melodramatic.

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3.5★
“There was always something hedonistic about the International Zone in the aftermath of an attack. People drank more. Danced more. Shared other people’s beds. We had existential crises and bathed in the relief of being alive. We wanted to touch, feel, forget.”

The first part of the book, Pre-deployment, is a love story, and while I was interested in the circumstances in the IZ (we’re not taken into battle), it felt like a romance novel, and I considered quitting. The soldiers and civilian workers had the heightened senses of knowing their lives were at risk, so played hard when they could. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

The book blurb outlines the situation, which, sadly, isn’t unusual: Girl meets boy in war zone, boy takes her ‘home’ to US and leaves her there while he goes back to Iraq, then returns, badly damaged.

English girl Emma tells the story of meeting American soldier Adam when he comes to the International Zone. She works there, assisting Iraqis who are applying for admission to the US to escape prosecution for working with, or for, the Americans. She loves the work, helping families who’ve already lost relatives to war.

But there were bombs and bomb warnings, and Hart did a credible job of describing the sudden terror when a warning would sound in the middle of a client interview. Emma is interviewing people who’ve been living unprotected from death threats that have been levelled against them, so they are even jumpier than she is. She has to draw their stories out, ask them to remember things as best they can so she can fill out their applications.

“. . . but for many the problem is that the memory becomes fragmented. For some it may splinter and for others it divides into delicate stretches of thread that are wound tightly together. They cannot reach one part of the thread without unravelling the part before. When you ask them ‘Who do you think killed your husband?’ they must first tell you about the food that their mother was cooking at the time, or the washing that their neighbour was hanging on the rooftop
. . .
If the erasure of traumatic memories is a coping mechanism, what happens when the experiences are brought to the surface again? Who helped to organise and fold and pack away the memories once I was done?”

Adam is a Special Forces soldier, also a trained medic, but we don’t see or hear much of his day-to-day. As they court, they spend their time on picnics and daydreaming about a future back in ‘real life’ where they aren’t risking their lives at work. They plan a normal life.

They marry and move to Fort Carson, near Colorado Springs in the US West, where the locals think Emma sounds like royalty. This is not home to her, but she does her best to fit in. Much is made of her making friends, but all too soon, Adam is set to deploy to Iraq, leaving her as an army wife with nothing to do and no purpose. Her father was a doctor, always helping people, and she is exactly like him. She can’t just sit still, but Adam wants her there, safe, protected, not back in Iraq where she knows she's needed.

The second part of the book is Deployment. He’s away, she’s in her new home – alone.

“People understand the difficult parts of war, or rather, they know that the bad bits must be beyond what they could ever imagine. But it is the good bits that confuse them. The reasons that we love it. That we miss it. That we keep going back. It is in the wistful looks of men and women who say ‘F**k, those days were awful, but damn they were the best.’ That is harder to explain. It is this feeling that bonds those of us who have been there and makes us different from those who have not.”

Emma understands Iraq, the culture, the people, and she speaks some Arabic. The American army wives don’t want to know about Iraq and are suspicious of refugees, some of whom live in Colorado Springs and to whom Emma naturally gravitates. People from Iraq are killing our soldiers, say the women. Emma feels more foreign than ever.

“It is safer to listen rather than talk with Penny. I do not talk about Iraq with her. I do not talk about the Iraqis I helped move to the States. To her, foreigners are a different species and she does not deal well with things she doesn’t understand. Iraq is a part of me that I switch off when I am with her.”

The third part of the book is Post-deployment, and I found it compelling reading. It’s not the individual characters I cared about so much as the circumstances. It is frightening to think what has been happening to generations of soldiers, probably since Vietnam. People come and go and come back and go back. Can’t live there, can’t stay put.

I have a hard time rating this one. Some parts feel a bit awkward and contrived, but others are well-written and excellent and feel very real. And it certainly asks the question, as with the escaping Iraqis who are trying to live with their buried memories, who will help the returned soldiers with theirs?

Thanks to NetGalley and Legend Press for the review copy from which I've quoted. It was shortlisted for the 2018 Costa First Novel Award.

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Pieces of Me by Natalie Hart is the story of a couple who meet in Iraq while working and living there.

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Instantly I can see why this has been short listed for so many awards.
It is beautifully written about 2 people who meet up in war torn Iraq.
The writing style is very fluid and talks about Emma’s journey through life.
A great addition to any book collection.
Thank you to both NetGalley and Legend Press for my copy of this book in exchange for my honest unbiased review

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I really enjoyed this - which surprised me, as I don't usually like modern books or those which focus on military issues. The things that saved it for me were that the main character is British (I could relate), the interest of what it was like in Iraq (what a lot of research must have gone into this - well done!) and also I enjoyed the writing style. It reminded me a bit of my own writing, which is always an odd feeling, but meant I felt very at home in the book, though the topics were unfamiliar.

I was on the protagonist's side the whole time, and think the portrayal of events was really believable. I felt a bit strange about Adam's character - it would have been nice to see that he was getting help, though at least we know his brothers were going to visit. I felt as if his wellbeing was an issue left unresolved - though I liked the 3D-ness of him punishing himself and not her - he was not an abusive person, just really struggling. I think it was wise to make this clear, as otherwise this could have turned into a book about domestic abuse, when the rest of the story was not about that at all, and I would have been cross if it had ended up there. A little more rounding of Adam's character at the end, or about his family, would have been nice: for example, did his mother finally recognise that she was wrong or was she proved right that Emma wasn't right for him? Perhaps they could have had a phone call after she left?

There were a couple of slips - like a mention when she visits Ameena in Texas about not thinking about what to wear in Iraq, when we had seen her think carefully about what to wear when she met Adam for the first time. But this was one tiny thing, so overall excellent attention to detail otherwise.

There were also a couple of grammar things I spotted after chapter 58 - perhaps these few chapters were not read as thoroughly as the earlier ones! For example, the phrase 'Adam and I' (when it should be 'Adam and me') occurs twice on the same page (in kindle). Also it was strange how we suddenly leapt into the past tense here (I think it was ch.58), followed by 'now here I was...', and then the same thing happens in the next chapter only the earlier section was in the present tense. These things often ruin a book for me, so only having a couple of errors, and later on, meant it didn't ruin it, but it's still annoying.

Thanks for sharing the book, I really enjoyed it, and stayed up late to finish it - which is a real compliment!

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Emma and Adam meet in Iraq where they’re working - he’s an American soldier and she’s an English civilian interviewing Iraqis seeking to leave the country..
But what starts off feeling like chick lit turns into someone far more interesting.
When Emma moves to the USA with Adam, she feels displaced and seeks to recreate her Iraqi community. While Adam is deployed and they both struggle with his absence and then his mental health when he returns.
I liked this far more than I thought I would. The feelings of loss, displacement and anguish are strong, and the characterisation is good.
The mental health story is also one that’s interesting and unexpectedly intense.
Emma’s love if Iraq feels very real too - you sense the author’s deep love of the country.
I’d recommend this novel - it’s the brave tale of a love story fractured by war and an aftermath that is ultimately broken.

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Synopsis: After leaving her English roots behind, Emma spent a few years living and working in Iraq. She loved it and she didn’t. It was where she went to make a difference, but she wasn’t expecting to fall in love. Now she’s an army wife living in the US and desperately trying to find a space for her to belong. But when her husband Adam is deployed again, Emma needs to navigate the pieces of who she is, and wonders if they were ever meant to fit together in the first place.

When you’re an emotional wreck at the end of a novel, you know the writer must be good at their job. This is a powerful character-driven narrative, written with overwhelming beauty and authenticity.

The depth of insight we gain into Emma’s character is beautiful. She feels like a friend, to the point where her difficulties feel vividly real and personal. Hart did a phenomenal job of adding layers to her character and it was a pleasure to experience Emma’s first-person narrative throughout the novel.

I’m in love with this book on so many levels. The journey of self-discovery Emma embarks on feels startlingly real and poignant. She is relatable and as a reader I felt invested in the ups and downs of her experience. The difficulties she faces before, during and after Adams deployment, shine a light on the ripple effects caused by war. Watching their relationship dynamic shift throughout the whole process was heart-breaking, but reflective of the real struggles the families of those serving in the military face. Emma wrestles with the various aspects of her identity as she tries to understand who she is and what she needs to be happy. I think this challenge is something everyone can relate to on some level. Emma’s circumstances are unusual, but she’s easy to empathise with and you want her to find the warm safe feeling of ‘belonging’ associated with home.

I also found it really lovely to read Hart’s poetic exploration of life in Iraq. Her lyrical descriptions make me nostalgic for a place I have never been to and show a side of Middle Eastern culture that is too often glazed over. She paints it as beautiful, and something our protagonist yearns for dearly. Though there were times Emma held her tongue in the presence of people who didn’t understand, she re-evaluates her relationship with silence throughout the novel, and as time goes on gains more confidence in defending the culture she loves. It’s a genuine pleasure to follow her on that journey.

The only niggling little complaint I’d be able to make about this novel is regarding the transitions between the different scenes. Though I appreciate the non-linear structure that goes backwards and forwards in time (as well as between two different places), I would occasionally be a couple of pages into a new section before realising that the characters were no longer in the US but Iraq, and vice versa. I found myself pausing between chapters to try and reorient myself with my surroundings, and sometimes felt a little lost. Some clearer indicators for whenever the story switched to a new time or place would have solved this problem, but I wouldn’t say it took much away from the whole experience. I also enjoyed the fragmented nature of the structure, as I felt it was reflective of Emma’s experience and how all the different experiences that made her who she was were slotted together.

This is the kind of novel I feel truly grateful to have experienced and applaud Natalie Hart for sharing such a meaningful story with the world. I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone who is interested in stories of self-discovery, loss, healing, conflict, and the tragedies that come with war.

Thank you Legend Press and Netgalley for providing me with a review copy in exchange for my honest feedback.

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When the Costa Book Awards shortlists were announced recently I was surprised to discover I hadn’t read any of the books listed for the first novel category. So I quickly sought to rectify that and picked up “Pieces of Me” by Natalie Hart without knowing anything about it (which is the most delightful way to approach books sometimes.) It’s an engrossing story of a British civilian named Emma who works in Iraq where she meets an American military man named Adam who she marries. Emma’s dual narrative alternately describes the formation of their relationship in this high-pressured foreign environment and their subsequent time living in Colorado dealing with the many-sided repercussions of war. Hart describes with great power the psychological trauma of war and the complicated grief of losing people in combat. She also dynamically explores how this can lead some people to hastily and tragically stigmatize people from different nationalities and religions. Overall, the story explores Emma’s struggle to overcome her sense of dislocation and understand how examining the many parts of her experiences can help her determine the best way forward. I got fully caught up in the heartrending dilemmas of this novel – especially as it reached its thrilling and surprising conclusion.

I’ve read so few novels that deal with the impact of modern warfare upon the military and their families. The only other book I can recall is Lea Carpenter’s excellent “Eleven Days” which explores the relationship between a mother and son. “Pieces of Me” is divided into three parts which frame the stages of Emma and Adam’s relationship before, during and after his re-deployment to Iraq while she tries to make a life for herself in America. Each stage comes with its own anxieties and issues showing how the pressures of active duty certainly aren’t restricted to the times when people in the military are in combat. It’s alarming how the repercussions of war can so insidiously intrude upon the relationship between people who love each other. Emma describes how “Iraq has invaded. The space between us has been occupied.” The story explores how difficult it often is for people who’ve experienced combat to express the emotions which arise from their trauma. Instead they become locked in a pernicious silence which leads to misplaced anger and self-destruction.

The story gives a balanced view of the hardships of servicemen in the American military and their families as well as Middle Eastern refugees who've been granted asylum in the US. But it also beautifully shows the sense of community and bonds that arise between people in these groups as they endeavour to deal with how war has impacted their families and friends. Emma tries to be a link between disparate groups and do her best to help people, but the friction this sometimes causes makes her question “do we end up helping at all, or just make things worse – for others and ourselves?” The novel soberly acknowledges the insurmountable challenges for an individual when trying to solve the world's problems, but that there are small contributions that can be made to help individuals. It's a resonant and heartfelt novel.

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I immensely enjoyed the character-driving story of two people - an American soldier and a British refugee worker - caught up in wartorn Iraq. What a fantastic debut!

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Goodness me, this was good! An accomplished and powerful debut novel about the impact of war on all those who are caught up in it, from those who serve, to those who wait behind, from those who choose to go to those who cannot avoid having their lives destroyed. Focussing on Emma and Adam, the first a civilian immigration officer in Iraq, and Adam, in the military, the novel is an insightful and compelling exploration of their relationship and how easily the strongest person can crumble when the pressure gets too much. The war in question here is Iraq, but the book’s universal themes make it relevant for any contemporary war. And let’s face it, we have plenty to choose from. Hart’s characters are multi-layered and complex and avoid stereotype. There are no false heroics here, no melodrama, just a nuanced portrayal and examination of the devastating effects of war.

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If Natalie Hart's Pieces of Me, does not win any awards then I would be really upset.
From the first page I felt like I was living Emma's life.
Living in Iraq helping Iraqis gain asylum from their war torn home. Emma's aim in life was to help people, just as her father did when she was growing up. She never imagined she would fall in love and marry an American soldier.
Emma's love for Adam took her to Colorado to make a new life as a married couple. But war and conflict still continued and Adam is deployed back to Iraq. Tradegy strikes and Emma's life as she knows it is blown apart.
My heart aches after reading this book. It is an absolutely amazing book that I will never ever forget.

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Pieces of Me is one of those rare books that you pick up and know you’ve found something truly special. Hart’s debut novel is a masterpiece that I could not put down.

The story is told through Emma’s eyes as she experiences love, loss, adventure and new beginnings. After meeting Adam in the International Zone in Baghdad during the height of the Iraq war, Emma finds herself becoming an army wife. Not only must she learn to cope with the absence of her husband but she must learn to forge her own path.

What Hart does best is bring relationships to life on the page in both a brutally honest and beautiful way.

I would highly recommend this book!

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This book is well written but I'm afraid for me it just didn't really go anywhere. It started off promisingly with the English woman protagonist working in Iraq for an NGO processing via applications for potential asylum seekers, She meets an American front line medic who is in special ops and through a mix of present day and past we trace their love story from when they meet in Iraq to life in a remote Colorado base town, the loneliness she feels when he is deployed back to Iraq and how she tries to make a life for herself in Colorado but can't stop herself getting involved with refugees and "helping" people there.

I thought the book would have a story arc that certain people they met in Iraq and who made their way to the US would have a big role to play, a mystery or a plot but it really is just about exploring feelings and mundane day to day events. Having grown up in a "warzone" I felt she was a bit of a snowflake and too naive about the effect of war and PTSD. If you are in long distance relationship you might enjoy the "feelz" but the narrative dragged for me, there is only so much shirt smelling and sadness at the lack of toothbrushes in the bathroom that I can take.

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Pieces of Me – Natalie Hart

Newlyweds Emma and Adam are finding their feet and lives together in Colorado Springs after meeting in war torn Iraq. The story is told from Emma’s point of view as she adjusts from being a Brit in Iraq to one in the US, where her sentiment on helping refugees is not always carried forward to her American neighbours.

It’s a much more complicated story than I had initially thought based on the cover and the write up, to be honest. I had expected something quite light and romantic, and actually what I found was a study in people in war, and what those people do when they are no longer in combat situations. There was definitely romance and the relationship with Emma and Adam is written well – I believe in them.

This makes it harder when things start to change and go wrong, first when Emma stays behind in Iraq to continue her work in helping refugees get to America, and then when the positions switch and she is left behind while Adam goes back to war as part of the Special Forces. (sidenote, I just had to confirm his name and switch it from Jason to Adam – my brain rather than the book!).

While I enjoyed the book I did get frustrated with Emma at times. She mopes around on her own at home in Colorado Springs as if she never expected to be left alone, and hadn’t done it before. Nevermind that she’s lived all over the world and had been fine before she met Adam. It did make me want to shout at her “Get a dog and go for a hike up the mountain” or “Get a job and meet people”, but I think that was part of the point. There is a lot of internal dialogue about her family and feeling that she is separate from hers in the UK, and guilty that she ran away when her Dad died.

I found the ending a bit rushed and unsatisfying – I wasn’t really sure what the message was – but I think that shows how I wanted to know what Emma does next! Maybe a sequel?

Thanks to Netgalley for providing the platform and to Legend press for the copy, and to Natalie Hart, of course, for writing it!

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This is an absolutely stunning, emotional debut novel which I so enjoyed reading. I thought I would like the book from the blurb but I didn’t think I’d love it as much as I did.

Pieces Of Me tells the story of Emma and Adam as Adam prepares for Deployment in Iraq. Iraq holds lots of special memories for Emma as not only did she used to working there, it’s also the place she met and fell in love with Adam. Told in the present day and through a series of flashbacks the reader finds out more about Emma and Adam’s relationship, their time in Iraq and what it’s like preparing for deployment.

The way this book is told feels very personal like I was experiencing everything alongside Emma or she was telling me about it as her best friend. This made me feel like I was very involved in the story and it was therefore quite an emotional read for me. I loved the Author’s fantastic descriptions of Iraq which seemed so different from the ones shown on TV. The descriptions of the light and colours there made it seem like a beautiful country. These images have stayed with me long after I have finished the book. I’d never heard of the international zone or about daily life for British workers over there which made for fascinated reading. It must be very hard to live so close to a war zone, but separate from it for the most part. The stories of the Iraqi people that Emma hears are very poignant to read about. It definitely makes you think about how many people are affected by war.

The descriptions of Adam preparing for deployment and the build up to him going was quite fascinating to read about as we learn more about how the army ensures everyone, including families, are prepared. I especially liked that they include the wives so much in the preparation and I hope that this is true to life. Through Emma we learn more about the emotional turmoil someone must go through when a loved one is going to war. The author does an excellent job of portraying all the thoughts and scenarios that must go through your head at such a time.

As mentioned above I really loved this book and found the subject matter utterly fascinating. Its a very timely book as there are still soldiers being sent into war zones and families going through the problems Emma faces in the book. The story is an easy one to get involved in and I found the book hard to put down as I was so enjoying it. I think this is a book everyone should read as it would increase people’s awareness of what army personnel and wives go through, while also telling people more about the Iraq war. For these same reasons I think it would make a great book club book as there is lots to discuss!

This unbelievably is the author’s debut novel and I’m so excited to read more from her in the future.

Huge thanks to Lucy from Legend Press for inviting me onto the blog tour and for my copy of this book.

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Pieces of Me is an unusual and very moving story. Emma is a civilian, working in Iraq helping Iraqis to obtain visas to enable them to go to the USA, when she meets Adam, a Special Forces soldier. They embark upon a relationship and eventually Emma leaves Iraq and moves to Colorado, where the forces live during post-deployment. Adam is deployed again and Emma is left behind, not knowing whether she can ever belong in this new life. When Adam then returns home, he is a different man, his experiences having changed him, possibly forever.

This is a very potted version of what is actually a multi-layered and complex story. It's told in three sections: Pre-Deployment, Deployment and Post-Deployment. The first covers Emma's time in Iraq. She loves her role there, despite being in the middle of a war zone, but she's also dealing with fragments of her past that won't let her go. I really enjoyed this section as I felt that somehow Emma was most herself during this time in Iraq. The second and third sections are difficult to read in different ways. Living through deployment is incredibly hard for both Emma and Adam, but she hadn't prepared herself for the fact that post-deployment might in fact be even harder.

The writing is beautiful, raw and pared back, and also almost poetic at times. As Adam's deployment draws near and Emma has to contemplate months not only without him, but of not knowing if he will return safely, she thinks:

"The deployment date sits between us like a giant hourglass, our moments slipping through its sweeping glass curves. We navigate our way around it to reach each other."

The title of this book is clever. Emma collects fragments of stone, glass and rock, and remembers where she picked each one up and what the place or time meant to her. Each piece is a part of her, and perhaps only by putting all the pieces together can she make herself whole.

Pieces of Me is a love story, a war story, a story of feeling like you don't belong, a story of loss. The detail in this novel is immense and absolutely fascinating. I could tell it was written, not by someone who had done a huge amount of research, but by someone who had experienced the place and the emotions firsthand. Natalie Hart writes with such empathy, such feeling, that I read many of the pages with a lump in my throat, not to mention the tears in my eyes as I read the final chapter.

It's a triumph of a novel. The backdrop of the Iraq war made for compelling reading and, to be honest, Emma and Adam's story nearly broke me. It's just so heartfelt and devastating. It's quite beautiful.

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Make sure you’ve got tissues ready - this one got me!

Telling the tale of love in war, Pieces of Me follows Emma as she makes the transition from an army support personnel in Iraq to suburban army wife in Colorado. This beautifully written book will take you through Emma’s journey, as she loses and discovers herself and what life after war means to her.

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What a powerful and moving read!
We all think we know what war is like, how families are separated and how families must have to cope when their loved ones go away. But this story was particularly interesting as you got to experience the emotions and feelings of a woman who met her husband in a war zone and then became the person he left when he went back to war without her. It's always worse when you are the one left behind - even if you're just travelling or moving away it's always harder for those who stay behind. Add to that the overwhelming knowledge of the dangers of a war zone and...well this is quite the emotional tug on the heartstrings!

I felt very close to Emma in the novel and felt her pain even though I've never been to a war zone. She was strong and confidant but knew too much of the dangers her husband would be in. Interesting that she became the helpless, emotional person in a constant state of flux and feeling displaced when she was the one helping displaced refugees in Iraq

So important a read on so many levels. Emotional is not the word!

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It was an ok read, had trouble getting into it and didn't really like the characters, ok storyline, I didn't really like it

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