Cover Image: Noah Gets Naked

Noah Gets Naked

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Thankfully the final of my ARC books that needed to be read.

As for this title I wasn't quite sure why I chose it but maybe since I am a glutton for bad biblical-based books. Unlike others that I have read this one didn't promise me much to begin with and that is probably why I shouldn't be so harsh on it.

Truthfully the author is correct that these aren't stories that you focus on in Sunday School, especially for children. But they aren't totally avoided either, especially if you are one who reads the Bible on your own or do Bible studies.

What does make this book different is that when the author wrote it she wasn't doing it to enlighten her naive audience. Instead it felt more like she was trying to disprove the Bible, to show how bad the whole of religion is that is based on it and that God isn't the best divinity to be reliant on.

She gave the Scripture where the story could be found and then a bit of a summary before getting into her racy material. Most of the time there was no further explanation given as to why the events were done such as not being able to see the face of God in all his glory would kill a human and then trying to make it as vulgar as possible by focusing that Moses was staring at his butt instead of the back of his persona.

All in all if you are into very little source material, want a cheeky read and don't mind a vague read then this would be a quick read. Otherwise I am sure there is another book written similarly that has a better reading style to it than this.

***I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.***

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This book is too simplistic for my tastes and might do better as a children's book. I am going purely by the text.
As a Christian I knew these texts before reading this book. Non-Christian readers might be amused or have their eyes opened.
I was given this book by Netgalley and the publisher. This is my voluntary review.

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The title Noah Gets Naked: Bible Stories They Don't Teach You At Sunday School is luring, but Xanna Chown is not delivering. Writing a book or telling a story is much more than giving a management summary of each of the well-known, not that hidden stories from the Old Testament in the Bible. Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt? King Saul visiting a witch in Endor to get in touch with the deceased prophet Samuel? Aspiring king Absolom, notably born from David and Bathsheba, ended up hanging in a tree, his own hair tangling him. Stories like these are taught in Sunday school classes, present in illustrated or comic book versions of the Bible. Noah Gets Naked is

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I think maybe I should have chosen this in a different format so I could see the original format of the book - but I sent it to my Kindle, and only read the text. I think the original format may have made it funnier.

As it was, I kept thinking, why was this so short? I think that the stories could have been expanded upon to great effect. For example, in the story Hanging by His Hair, Absalom dies only after he finds out his brother raped his sister, so he has his brother killed. But I think the format is more of a children’s book - so I guess the shorter stories fit.

Being the Bible scholar that I am (he said, only slightly facetiously) I was actually familiar with most of these crazy stories.

What’s most interesting about these stories, is that you can see that this is often how people actually read them - in a simplistic way to pull overly simplistic morals out of them. For example, in just the first two stories - out of Noah Gets Naked, people have pulled out “This is why God hates black people” and out of The Salty Wife, people have pulled out “This is why God hates gay people.” <i><b>Crazy!!</b></i> (In the first, people said that African Americans came from Canaan, they were cursed, and that’s why it was okay to own them as slaves. IKR? WTF is wrong with people? Of course, the second has been used for a long time to indicate God actually destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah simply because everyone was gay and perverted. God, people can be stupid.)

<i>Thanks to NetGalley and BooksGoSocial for a copy in return for an honest review.</i>

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Well I don't know what I thought it would be but not this. I guess people actually think about the bible in this light and find it funny. Though I can look past what it is and see that is good writing and "funny" but not.

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Noah Gets Naked by Xanna Eve Chown is a very short collection calling attention to some of the more unusual myths of the Old Testament not usually talked about. Most of these stories were familiar to me. Still funny, though. Most amusing was the notion that the only part of God that Moses could safely see was his bum. If you enjoy biblical humour, check this book out! There're a second book planned, that looks at the New Testament.

***Many thanks to Netgalley and BooksGoSocial for providing an ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review.

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For the casual reader who wants a racy or amusing story from the Old Testament here are 20 such tales.
I’m not sure that there is ever any benefit of dissecting the biblical account in this way.
Although, some context is provided this is scant information and the resulting story merely provides a cautionary tale. Cross God at your peril (he’ll wipe you out). Also be careful what you wish for; God keeps his promises and expects you to keep yours.
There is therefore a mismatch of spiritual truth here. The Old Testament God is portrayed as vindictive against those who oppose him, worship false Gods and deserving of whatever punishment is seen fit.!This amounts to plagues, horrible deaths or some tortuous punishment and a slow painful death.
The message of redemption and salvation is set aside for the punishment and consequences of disobedience. The message is lost the magic of the stories themselves to entertain and perhaps shock.
When the struggle of the people who were descended from Abraham is that their God seeks their obedience and loyalty above all else. He is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob who called Moses to save his people because he had seen and been moved by their suffering as slaves in Egypt.
Their further disobedience in their wandering sin Wilderness for 40 years was marked with moaning, chuntering and rebellion.
Without this wider template of setting and context these stories chosen for their shock value diminish the message the bible wishes to bring to those who study its pages.
In the New Testament in Paul’s second letter to Timothy he writes: All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 2Tim 3:16.
I fear the passages chosen for this book in becoming separated from the wider picture have been reduced to stories without context. Like photos of the body that capture an unusual angle and can appear to be snaps of rude bits of one’s anatomy.
I think these stories should be shared but not titivate but to open up their deeper meanings and why they were sanctioned to be recorded in the first place.
An opportunity missed. Too superficial and therefore of no lasting value as a collection of stories.

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This is a short book of some strange and obscure Old Testament stories. Some funny and interesting topics include: Noah getting naked after drinking too much wine, God giving a donkey the power of speech (temporarily), Moses viewing God’s behind, Ezekiel having to eat food cooked over flaming poop for 390 days and more oddities.

Each anecdote was laid out with reference to the text, some proper context, and a bit of a moral to the story. The moral is usually: do what God and his angels tell you, don’t doubt them or go against them, or you and your ancestors will be punished for all eternity.
I liked these stories and found them pretty interesting. Some are dark so I wouldn’t recommend to young readers. It was a good, quick read.

Thank you NetGalley for a complimentary copy in exchange for my honest review.

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The author created some amusing anecdotes in this entertaining storyline with Bible stories as they've never been told before. More than likely, they won't be heard in a Sunday sermon. If you're ready for a laugh all in good humor, this is the book for you.

I offer my gratitude to NetGalley and BooksGoSocial for this ARC exchange for an unbiased review.

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Noah Gets Naked: Bible Stories They Didn't Teach You At Sunday School (Bad Bible Stories)
by Xanna Eve Chown
This is a book I requested NetGalley and the review is voluntary.
I grew up as a kid learning Bible stories then learning stories on my own. I read these on my own and this, among other things, helped me leave religion. This book buys stories in everyday language. It might be quite eye opening for some, lol! Loved it!

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I've read or heard these stores many times before, but have never read them quite as humorously as they are written here! I started to read this at work but had to give it up and finish it was home as I was about ready to explode with laughter! Funny stories from the Bible and all true! I think even die hard Christians should get a good laugh out of these tales! Kudos Xanna Chown!

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This quick little read tells a few odd Bible stories in a humorous way. You don’t need to be familiar with religion to read it – in fact, it might be a good thing if you’re not!
Despite officially being Catholic, I know next to nothing about Christianity. My parents were determined for me to NOT attend Christian schools (my father went to one with a notorious paedophile, and my mother faced outright racism), so – being ignorant about most things Bible-related – I learnt a thing or two from this book!
The kind of book you give as a joke present.

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Brilliant, funny spin on some of the famous bible tales. Perfect for someone who likes their biblical satire.

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