I haven’t heard of Paul Dolan so I was intrigued to by an opportunity to read Happy Ever After. He explores the extent to which an individual is constrained by society’s artificial limitations. In other words, true happiness can only be achieved by wealth, success etc, as defined by a given socially acceptable narrative. We are told what constitutes success, the importance of ambition,

He carefully draws distinctions between the baseline determined by society and the reality. For example, a highly paid executive in a position of power and influence has it all. Right? Not necessarily. That person may have the face of success, but is deeply unhappy. Why?

Paul Dolan’s insight into why, where and what we should truly value to add meaning to our lives is challenging. Fulfilment isn’t about wealth or title; it’s less tangible. Throw out all the old find a good person, get married and live happily ever after are, basically, unachievable for the majority. So in attempting to follow that pattern, we’re almost bound to fail. He encourages us to live beyond the boundaries.

For many years, before I read this book and whilst I worked, I tried to follow a simple precept; if it makes you happy, do it. Simplistic but true. Not easy to achieve, particularly at work where it challenged difficult options but could cause a rethink. For example, am I happy to chose an option which will make x people lose their job? How can I avoid this?

Overall, I liked the book. Paul Dolan’s academic background comes through, which means it’s not always an easy read. There’s a lot of detail and reinforcement of point. But the basic concept is excellent and I’m all for anyone who challenges society’s constraints.

My thanks to the publisher for a review copy via Netgalley.

A quick read by a social scientist examining how far our choices affect our ultimate happiness. I think in many ways I enjoyed this so much because it basically confirmed conclusions I had been coming to for sometime. With that in mind, I can't be considered entirely unbiased. That said, surely much of this is common sense once you let go of the illusion that you must conform? People are happier when they relinquish the conditioning of social narratives is the ultimate conclusion. I'm 100% behind that. I don't know how rigorously tested the facts and stats are but this is an interesting read.