This book had been on my TBR for a while and I don't know why I kept putting it off. I essentially went in blind and oh, I was so pleasantly surprised. What a beautiful book.

Lauren Pailing, daughter of Bob and Vera, gets visions. They come to her in sunbeams that she can look through and she sees things happening to people that she knows. But they aren't visions from this life.

The first time she dies is when she is 13 and she is in a car accident whilst on a trip with a neighbour's family. After this point, the story splits. We hear points of view from a multitude of Lauren's lives, each running parallel, some she has died in later in life, others she hasn't. Some of the people around her are the same but different to her. There is always one constant though, her father's boss Peter Stanning. In each one of Lauren's lives, he has gone missing.

This sounds confusing but it flows beautifully. It is such a wonderfully written book and it tackles grief and harder subjects such as suicide, death in childbirth and cheating fantastically well.

Lauren Pailing is born in the sixties, and a child of the seventies. She is thirteen years old the first time she dies.

Lauren Pailing is a teenager in the eighties, becomes a Londoner in the nineties. And each time she dies, new lives begin for the people who loved her – while Lauren enters a brand new life, too.

But in each of Lauren’s lives, a man called Peter Stanning disappears. And, in each of her lives, Lauren sets out to find him.

And so it is that every ending is also a beginning. And so it is that, with each new beginning, Peter Stanning inches closer to finally being found…

In Lauren Pailing's world, you don't die until it's time for you to die. So, if you die before it's your time, you slip instead into a different world, parallel to this one, similar but different. The same people accompany you through life, but they are, at the same time, different people who made different choices. This was a wonderful book, similar to Life After Life or the film Closing Doors

This was an enjoyable read and I would recommend it. thanks for letting me have an advance copy. I'm new to this author.

would like to thank netgalley and the publisher for letting me read this book

an emotional rollercoaster of a ride with this book, should come with a warning that it could hit a few nerves

A really interesting concept and it was very unpredictable which is quite refreshing nowadays! Would definitely recommend!

I really enjoyed the journey this book took me on. Following the pure soul that is Lauren Pailing as she lives her many 'lives'. The plot and premise of this book were brilliant and it definitely didn't pan out the way I thought it would.
In order to enjoy this book as much as I did, I did need to suspend belief and just 'go with the flow', as soon as I started to try and figure out the logistics of the multiple lives I became awfully confused. So i would recommend readers to just enjoy the read and not think too deeply into the technical aspects.

This book would be brilliant for readers of Oona Out of Order.

Unfortunately, I have not been able to read and review this book.

After losing and replacing my broken Kindle and getting a new phone I was unable to download the title again for review as it was no longer available on Netgalley.

I’m really sorry about this and hope that it won’t affect you allowing me to read and review your titles in the future.

Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity.
Natalie.

A moving, thought provoking book. Explores issues of grief, growth and love. Highly recommended and highly original.

This is such a different read and keeps you engaged throughout. The storyline is really interesting and stimulating.

We follow Lauren Pailing throughout in all her different guises. The story starts off with her as a child living with Bob and Vera- her parents, in a cul de sac in suburbia. She is a much loved and wanted child.

Lauren sees flashes of lights- like sunbeams- that no one else can see. They affect her and the strange occurrences she talks about make her parents and friends uncomfortable so she keeps them to her self.

Then at age 13 a tragic accident occurs and Lauren dies.

And from this point the book splinters into alternate realities. If you've ever seen the film Sliding Doors it's a similar concept.


From this point the book follows various alternate realities of life that splinter off at different points and time with some of the same people featuring throughout- eg Bob and Vera. In one version Lauren is dead and her parents have a new child and in others Lauren is alive but living life slightly differently, a different job, different part of the country or working in different jobs, married to a different man. Children etc.

The ‘sunbeams’ are ever present throughout the different lives but affect Lauren in different ways each time.

There is one person – Peter Stanning- and what had happened to him that connects the storyline throughout each timeline. Peter, her Father’s boss disappears at the beginning of the book and the mystery of his disappearance helps to connect each version of Lauren.

It sounds like a complicated storyline, but it isn’t. It flows really well and once you know that Lauren is changing into a different form of herself you go with the flow of learning about her next self.

This is a book that could have gone on and on in the changing lives of Lauren but it ended at the right time so that you didn’t get bogged down with too many life changes. Also there is a conclusion of what happened to Peter Stanning that neatly wraps the mystery up.

This was a book that made me think in a whole different way about a lot of things.

Such a different and excellent read.

I felt very lost throughout the different threads of Lauren Pailings life.
The concept was interesting, I just wanted more from the execution.

This book is really unique and beautifully written. The only was I can think of describing it is that it reminds me of the film Sliding Doors, but there are more layers (and dimensions) to this story, but it has the same heart. The book reflects on love and grief and how we all learn to live with things in different ways, and how life can be altered but just the tiniest of things.

This book intrigued me from the start and the premise sounded very interesting. The story follows Lauren who dies at 13 following a car accident but they wakes to a new life. The story started off well but it wasnt executed well and meandered around. I would recommend but as a 3.5/5.

This was a good read; well-written although slightly predictable for the genre. It dragged a little at points. I feel like I have read similar concepts executed better.

This book is nothing short of incredible, and each iteration of Lauren's life was so well crafted that it was hard to believe that other versions had already been presented to you. An amazing read.

It's took me about a week to write what I think about this novel. On one level I adored it. The plot, a family living different lives in different realities is sort of a literary Sliding Doors. But that's been a bit derogatory to it (and I actually like Sliding Doors. I know. I shouldn't admit it). Because its much cleverer and about more than romance and someone finding their way. It's about love, loss, grief and that feeling I think we all get sometimes that something is just a bit off...or maybe that sense of deja vu. But all the way through I had one nagging thought. Really clever books, with very inventive story lines almost always have one issue. The end. In creating this strange world set in reality it's almost impossible to have a satisfactory ending. There can be no explanation or resolution because....well because there isn't one. How can something as amazing as the theory of multiple lives be explained without falling into been more fantasy than literature? It can't. That said the writer has done a fair job of the ending, using something else in the place of resolution. But after a book that had me in its grip for a week, and had me telling everyone how fantastic it was I just felt a little deflated at the end. But I'd still say read it, it's one of those books like Life After Life that has its faults but will stay with you forever.

I feel I nearly missed this one. And oh my god IT IS NOT TO BE MISSED. The best book I’ve read in a very long time. I cannot praise this author enough. Love love love. And she’s a new one out soon ❤️

This is a curious yet compelling book. From being a small girl, Lauren Pailing has visions of parallel lives in other dimensions when shards of light or sunbeams strike near her. At the age of thirteen, Lauren knows that she has died in an accident but she is conscious enough to open her eyes and recover from her injuries. She carries on her 'life' while at the same time her parents hold her funeral.

I found it a bit confusing to start with so just keep on reading for the parallels of life to fall into place. Through each of Lauren's lives ran the same theme of a close friend of her father having gone missing and this held a strong bond and focal point to her memories of friends from other parallels and her own parents.

I could see plot holes throughout several lives, not just Lauren's but others around her too, but it was such a fascinating concept that I just had to keep reading to see what happens. A book with fabulous imagination as well as truly likeable characters.

An interesting take on life, death and the possibility of endless lives.

I enjoyed the ongoing mystery within this book, and how the story of peter stanning linked with Lauren throughout her multiple lives.

The different characters own chapters worked well However I did think that at times they lacked their own distinctive voice.

Overall a good read, thank you to Netgalley for this copy in exchange for an honest review.

While it's not a unique approach to the story, Alyson Rudd has created compelling characters that you want to know how they develop and react in multiple story arcs.

Try not to read too much about this book before you dive in, if you want a page turner that will keep you up a night to 'just read one more chapter' take a chance on this book.