Prophet and Tom are back in this stunning conclusion to the Hell or High Water series. They have been through a lot to get the life they want and have done everything possible to protect their future. They will have to protect it one more time, this time from Prophet's old nemesis John.

Prophet wants to take down John on his own, and when he is given the chance he tries to take John down on his own, but he soon learns that he needs to trust Tom to help. With the help from Tom and the team, Prophet is in for a fight for their lives, but something changes when complications and destruction starts to surround them.

Prophet and Tom are a great couple in the field but also in life. I enjoyed watching them grow not only as a couple but as partners in the field. This final book is a fast paced, with some twist and turns but so worth the angst. I really didn't expect some things that happened but I still enjoyed the book.

The Hell or High Water series is on my favourite series list. When I first read these books, Prophet, Tommy, Mal, and the rest of the gang, won my heart.

But it's been over six years since I read Daylight Again. Since then, my tastes have definitely changed. Also, after such a long break, I'm simply not as invested in the characters as I used to be.

So maybe it's not surprising that 'If I Ever' just did not live up to how I should have felt about Tommy and Prophet's happy ending.

First - Prophet and Tommy made absolutely no progress in communicating without fighting or having sex. They've always been emotionally stunted, but I'd hoped that a HEA would involve some sort of character/relationship breakthrough.

Second - the plot. I've definitely forgotten some of the finer details of the overarching conspiracy from previous books, so that's on me. However, even then, this was quite a convoluted story. I did still find myself entertained by the action, but I just couldn't take John seriously. He was just such a caricature of a villain, with no depth.

Am I glad that Prophet and Tommy get their happy ending with their chosen family? Yes. Did I get much enjoyment out of this finale? No.

Am I still on-board for Mal's story? Absolutely.

Your mileage may vary.

My initial reaction when I finished If I Ever? True rating is hovering between 4.5-5 for REASONS! These guys really had to work for their HEA *Glares at #EvilAuthor*

I know a lot of people almost gave up on ever getting to the 4th book in the Hell or High Water series. I'm a patient reader though and life happens - to all of us, so I'm just happy that we finally got here. Yet, because so much time passed between Daylight Again and If I Ever, I felt the need to do a quick re-read. Which, actually turned out to be a good thing, since I inadvertently neglected to leave a review the first time around. Yikes! So, enough about the delay, how did I really feel about If I Ever?

If I Ever picked up exactly where Daylight Again left off... with Prophet reeling after he and Tommy came to the same realization - John was really back and no one that either one of them cared about was safe. From that point on, things got even crazier.

This book, just like the rest of the series is not for the faint of heart. Things happen... lots and lots of things. These guys pull no punches and would lay down their lives for any of their brothers. Which makes so much of what happens in If I Ever so hard to take. Alliances were made, trust was broken and at times it was hard to keep track. There was also more than one side story going on throughout all the chaos and I'm hoping that readers get a few more glimpses into them. Please and thank you!

Like I said, Prophet and Tommy had to work really hard to reach their HEA, but they did it. I'm pretty sure that we haven't seen the last of them though. There were a couple of interesting twists and turns at the end. So, why the dramatic opening to this review? Yeah, there were reasons... I was mostly being funny, but come on! Every time I thought that this crew had been through enough and had finally earned some down time there was another life or death situation that they had to pull themselves - and others - out of. True, it most definitely kept the pages turning, but did they really have to be put through so much? In the end, all that matters is that Tommy and Prophet made it through in one piece, which isn't a spoiler, honest. I mean Mal would have taken care of this author if not, right? That's the only negative thing that I have to say about If I Ever. Other than making me scream in frustration, shed a tear or two, want to pull my hair out more than once and maybe shake some sense into more than one character, it was the perfect ending to a great series.

What the hell did I just read? I honestly don’t know.

I wanted to enjoy this book. I really did. In fact, I finally got around to reading book 3 recently just so I could be ready to see how Tom and Prophet’s story finally ended. I’m sad to say, it culminated in a convoluted violent and sexually aggressive mess.

These books have always been heavy in the sex department. Tom and Prophet always connected best when they did it physically — and usually with a little bit of kink. But I felt like all this book was, was action and sex.

Maybe that makes you perk up, and if I read that in a review I would probably perk up too. But this happened at the expense of the plot. So nothing really happens? you might ask. No. Way, way too much happens with too many people. I honestly had no idea what was going on half of the time. Reading a book should not be this much work to follow along.

This is supposed to be the installment where the guys finally track down John and defeat the Big Bad. And they do, but I could barely follow along. I didn’t know who all of the characters were. And spoiler alert, the John issue is resolved at about halfway through. That should’ve been the big ending, y’all. Instead, the book drags onto a whole bunch of other shit I didn’t care about. Yes, I get that this big surprise betrayal at the end is supposed to be a big deal, but I was so exhausted by the time we got to it, I was fighting the urge to skim. Fighting hard.

Beyond that, one of the main characters gets raped on page and it is treated like it is no big deal. Even worse, he’s able to have sex with his lover’s magical healing peen right after. This is 50 shades of wrong for me. All I could do was shake my head and roll my eyes. This is not what I want to read. This is not the true love conquers all that I’ve been waiting for.

There’s a bunch of Prophet being an asshole and Tom dealing with it by having more sex with him. More characters. More characters. More characters. And deaths and explosions and betrayals and it’s all so much information at such a frenetic pace. This book could’ve been so much better paired down by at least 1/3.

I say all this, knowing that mine is an unpopular opinion. Fans of this series are giving it five stars left and right. Obviously, your mileage may vary. But for me, I honestly had to fight to get to the end of this book. The HEA is all fine and good, but the getting there… I’m sorry, it was not worth the journey through this book.

Reviews by the Wicked Reads Review Team

Sarah – ☆☆☆
I probably should have gone back and re-read the first three books in this series before starting this one. It’s been five years since book three was published and my recall was a bit fuzzy. It doesn’t help that readers are plunged back into Tom and Prophet’s world without the assistance of any reintroduction or recap. It took me the first fifty pages to recall the characters and series events, but this book starts fast and the pace never slows.

I realised at the halfway point that I wasn’t actually supposed to understand everything that was happening in the story. Readers understand as much as Tom does about the plans and actions of Prophet and his CIA/Special Forces teammates – and Tom isn’t privy to much. Add in the constant fear of double agents and the characters with multiple identities and I feel like I muddled through the story in a state of slightly bewildered anxiety. The action is exciting, but I was never quite sure who was doing what where.

While the relationship between Prophet and Tom has always been complicated, I really don’t remember there being quite so much violent anger between them in earlier books. I know they’ve both got issues but there are too many scenes in this book which feel more like domestic violence than rough sex. I really didn’t enjoy the mix of sex and violence. I found it difficult to believe in Prophet and Tom as partners and parents when they were unable to communicate without using their fists.

This is an action story. It’s an exciting read but some of the violence is pretty graphic and there’s a rape scene near the end which I found really disturbing. I requested this book because I remember really enjoying the first few books in this series but I’m not sure I’d read another after this one. I didn’t do well with the violence in this story, especially the sexual violence. It was difficult for me to like either Tom or Prophet by the end of the book and I don’t feel very invested in their future.

Five years ago, I finished the last entry in this series to date and was left with lots of questions and that delicious kind of dread one gets for the book that will culminate a fantastic series. As life often does, the author had a hitch in her plans and this grand finale had to wait. But, like a trooper, she came through and here we have the last in a series story arc for Prophet and Tom and a transition for what is to come for Mal and Cillian. It was emotionally tough, gritty with action, and a twisting plot that kept peeling back further reveals delivering a superb high-adrenaline story to finish off the series on a high note.

If I Ever is the fourth and final book in the Hell or High Water series, but is a transition book in the Extreme Escapes world. It is not a place to start and will spoil earlier books if one was to pick up here.

At the end of of Daylight Again, things are left in a precarious place for Tom, Prophet, and the rest of Proph's special ops team who are all wanted for a traitorous action they did not commit. They have all been working together to find the true traitor who is like a ghost in the shadows hunting them as much as they hunt him. In If I Ever, Proph's onsetting blindness, his deep relationship with Tom, and his coming adoption of Remy, have him determined that enough is enough. He will not let the danger from his past continue to touch what he loves. He might privately have his doubts that Tom will stand by him when he knows all his secrets, but those doubts don't match up with the fact that Tom is standing fast through everything. So, he turns the tables and forces the prey to become the hunter. And, he's not the only one with dark secrets.

The book focuses on Proph and Tom as they come to a crisis point in their relationship. Proph has to trust Tom with some pretty brutal facts that might break them apart and Tom has to be strong enough to accept those facts. Their volatile way of handling things and each other is back and as hot and sizzling as ever. But, behind Proph and Tom's story are the secondary stories of Mal and Cillian, the rest of Proph's team, Doc and Nico, and Dean. There are a lot of important players in this one and its like a huge chessboard moving people about. There are conflicts that cause an ever increasing tension in the plot to a series of crescendos.

There is a trigger warning for a rape scene. I found it fit within the context of what was going on, but I bring it out so those who are not in a place to read something like that can avoid it.

I liked how the author stayed true to the earlier tone and pacing of the series even though this one came later. There is a strong emphasis on the relationships both romantic and familial. These men are not birth family, but have come together as a brotherhood against villains who stack up against them. Everyone is some sort of top-level operative so the action and suspense is believable.

All in all, this was a sensational finish to Proph and Tom's story and I don't have to mourn because there is still Mal and Cillian's story already begun in Dirty Deeds with anticipation toward the second installment in that series. If I Ever and the Hell or High Water series is one I'd recommend toward those who want hot and spicy m/m romance and gritty spec ops suspense action.

My thanks to Riptide Publishing for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

I waited to start this series until all the books were out, so all the past events leading to this final book are very fresh in my mind. Even so, the multiple plotlines converging had me spinning and rereading at times as I tried to make sense of things. I don’t know if this was intentional by the author or simply a result of having to reconcile multiple storylines and reveal long held secrets within a single novel. Similarly, the pacing was a little unsettling. The scenes were fast and sometimes had erratic shifts, jumping to different characters’ locations and occasionally back in time, keeping me as off kilter as Tom and Prophet were as they prepared for the final push to bring down John. There were also some notable scenes that gave me pause, almost seeming as though they were included for shock value as opposed to progressing the romance and storyline. Despite the few negatives, this series was simply addicting and I found myself glued to If I Ever, loving all the twists that came the characters’ way.

One of my favorite aspects of suspense/thriller novels are the twists, and If I Ever delivered a number of them that I hadn’t seen coming. Those little deviations from the plans or surprise reveals ensured I couldn’t put the book down until I saw how it all unfolded. I thought the conclusion was really satisfying from the Tom and Prophet perspective, though it did seem the author left room to write more shorts in the future, especially involving secondary characters. I liked how the relationship between Tom and Prophet developed over the course of this book a lot, but there was plenty of angst between the men before they got their happy ending, some of it exaggerated and repetitive, but most of it felt honest to the characters I’ve grown to love. What I really liked though was how much Prophet changed his outlook on Tom, his secrets, and his future in If I Ever. That shift, along with a load of action-packed scenes and great twists, made for a really good final book in the Hell or High Water series. If you’ve been waiting to start or just finish this series, I urge you to jump right in.

It has been forever since I started and read anything form the Hell or High water series . So when I saw this one I jumped at the chance but quickly realize I hadn't read #3 & #3.5. So, I had to put it down and read those first. However, I wish I had more time to read #1 & 2 as well because there were a lot of details that I was lost on because I read them so long ago. This made some of the story lines lost on me.

Some of the things I liked was the banter between Mal and Tom.

"I feel like they were just offering you a refreshment, not counseling."

This series has been growing for so long and so many layers where entrenched into this story. But at the heart of the matter is always Tom and Prophet and that Prophet's hunt needs to happen.

~No one can stop Tom. Or this. Sometimes, the only way to get through hell is to walk right through it. ~

Even though I was lost on a lot, I did like Tom and Prophet's ending.

"Say goodbye to your ghosts."
"Say hello to a partner you can't kill."

I know technically this was the last of this series which ended well but I can't wait for more from Mal and Cillian in the Dirty Deeds series and maybe more spin offs with Doc and Nico and other's from Prophet's team, like King and Ren.

Like many others, I was so excited to find out that Prophet and Tom would get their final book. It was a long wait, but things happen, and I was just glad to know the story was still in the works. In several ways, it was exactly what I’d hoped—lots of zigs, plenty of BOOMs, and a chance for both main characters to have a happy future together. There were other problems, however, that made If I Ever extremely difficult, and did significant (yet hopefully temporary) harm to my love of this series, in general. This review will necessarily involve discussion of a scene that requires a trigger warning as well as a few spoilers, both of which I usually try to avoid.

Out of the gate, I strongly suggest rereading the other Hell or High Water stories first (including Dirty Deeds), not only because it’s been awhile, but there are a lot of threads being pulled together very quickly, and the refresher course helped tremendously. Conjunctively, anyone new to the series should also start at the beginning of the series. There are references to conversations and past events (plus all the flashbacks) that occurred throughout the other novels, on top of the cumulative happenings involving an expanding cast of characters to digest, making If I Ever a decidedly complicated undertaking.

One of the issues I encountered repeatedly as the story progressed was that, while the sheer quantity of secrets Prophet has always kept has led to many moments of disorientation for me (especially once his plans started kicking into gear), that has never been true to the extent that it is here. In the interest of time, I listened to the audiobooks again before I began reading, but still got very confused in places. It was like being handed an elaborately carved puzzle box, already finished, then having to completely take it apart to comprehend how the pieces fit together. In the past, a lesser degree of this has sometimes been part of the fun, but I felt it was excessive here. While flashbacks and additional explanation (both from Prophet and other/new characters) cleared up some of the haze, it took a second read through for me to feel confident that I knew what was going on.

The most damaging problem I encountered in If I Ever must be prefaced with a trigger warning for sexual assault. In general, I think the warning (or lack thereof) was handled irresponsibly. It is present on Riptide’s website, but not on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, NetGalley, or Goodreads. Including the warning in the blurb might be an easy fix in order to protect readers, and I hope all authors and publishers will consider doing something to correct this oversight in the future.

****SPOILER ALERT****
the discussion below contains information that could be considered a spoiler

As to the sexual assault scene itself, its most damning cruelty is that I believe it’s unnecessary. I almost always avoid stories with nonconsensual sex. But, If I Ever was important enough—these characters are important enough—that I felt like I had to read it. For now, I regret that choice. To be fair, Prophet’s attempt to reconcile the rape as a “tactical move” to “save lives” is in no way a dismissal by the narrative. But, the lengths to which Prophet will go to protect others has never been in question. Neither has the degree of John’s evil and depravity—particularly so in the last two novels. He’s unsalvageable. I already got that part. Tom had previously vowed to kill John with enough conviction that I knew he would. If the scene had to be there, I hoped it was because there was absolutely, inarguably, no other way around it. But, that isn’t the case. Even if the events leading up to it were unavoidable, the rape itself was. For instance, what happened to the knife Prophet miraculously caught from Tom? Why not use it to buy Tom the few minutes he needed to get free? Distraction, whether from memories or outside interference, had already worked on John. Why not a little more? And so on. Tom succeeded moments too late. Why not in the nick of time? The shower sex he and Prophet had an hour or so later could have been a celebration, a comfort and reaffirmation, rather than the equivalent of trying to sandpaper off a stain that didn’t need to be there. I just cannot understand why the author chose to do this when there were other options. And I’m both revolted and saddened that she didn’t take them. Prophet deserves better.

****End Spoiler****

Prior to the above scene, there were quite a few things about If I Ever that I enjoyed a great deal. This story moves. Like the other novels in the series, the action roves across continents and oceans, the pressure of time passing almost tangible in the characters’ urgency.

The rest of Prophet’s SEAL team are back, as well, and, while the additional POV’s were clearly setting up future stories, I enjoyed seeing more of their interactions and personalities. Cillian also makes a reappearance, of course, as do Dean and Reggie, along with the arrival of new friends and unknown enemies. Given that the author seems to be trying to do an awful lot with the remaining space in the narrative, many of these provided some much-needed balance and humor.

Without a doubt, my favorite character going forward will be Mal. I’ve always loved him, but never truer than in If I Ever. Dubbed “Uncle Crazy” early on, he lives up to it thoroughly and gleefully, yet proves to be so much more than I originally anticipated. His non-relationship with Cillian is also at an interesting juncture, and I have plenty of hope for them down the line.

Despite my stated opinions, I think many fans of this series will love If I Ever. It’s classic Hell or High Water with extra adrenaline in a lot of ways, and I will still ever adore Prophet and Tommy. The author has put forth a great deal of effort to establish the foundation for the next book, and I can’t help looking forward to reading it once the shadow of this one fades a little. Hopefully, more Mal and Cillian will do the trick.

Fans of SE Jakes’ “Hell or High Water” series, the wait is over. Trust me when I tell you it was worth it! The fourth and final episode of Prophet and Tom’s story, If I Ever, has all the action, drama, double dealing, and steamy hot and dirty sex I require in an SE Jakes novel. This one is spectacular!

I don’t want to spoil too much, but since it’s promised in the dedication, I can say that our boys do finally get their happily-ever-after. Before that happens however, Prophet has to face up to some tough obstacles.

Throughout this series, Ms. Jakes has been slowly revealing the details of what really went down with John, and it comes to a head in If I Ever. Through flashbacks we finally get the whole story. This insight into Prophet and John’s relationship, seeing the pivotal moments that changed everything, and watching Prophet put it all together... is intense.

Between facing ghosts from his past and coming to grips with his inevitable blindness, Prophet is finally able to truly let down his walls and allow Tom to see him bare and vulnerable. Tom’s been waiting a long time for this moment, and the intimacy between these two men is gorgeous.

If I Ever also opens up some unfinished business for the rest of the guys in the “Hell or High Water” series.

While this is the final installment in Prophet and Tom’s story it’s not the end. SE Jakes assures us our boys will make a few appearances in the next two episodes in her “Dirty Deeds” series, due out late 2019. So if you haven’t read Dirty Deeds, the first book of Mal and Cillian’s story, you have something to enjoy while the rest of us wait, because this collection is best read in order.

*please note trigger warning at end of review*

I went into this with some trepidation. It's been 5 years since the last book came out and I was concerned that my tastes had changed a lot since then. I actually thought about skipping this all together but I really wanted to see what was happening with Mal and Cillian. After reading this I think that was definitely part of my issue with this book but there were oh so may others.

The overall plot was convoluted and drawn out and really over the top. There were many parts I had to re-read because I wasn't sure what in the heck was going on. There are a zillion characters which I managed to keep up with fine but all the various plots, subplots, twists, turns etc was ridiculous imo. It was just way too much. Way too unbelievable. I expect to suspend some reality in books like this but this book wanted me to suspend WAY to much of it. I found myself rolling my eyes more than once.

There were a bunch of scenes were little things don't make sense. Ie Prophet is captured and hung from the ceiling and Tom walks by him and sneakily drops a key in his hand. How? His hands are hung above his head. Honestly these things I probably would have skipped over if I wasn't so annoyed about everything else. Once I'm annoyed I can't seem to stop myself from picking apart every little incident.

The pacing was off. It felt like this book was never going to end. It was like those horror movies where the villain keeps coming back. It was like the author couldn't stop herself from throwing in just one more scene, one more plot twist. I kept looking down at the percentage mark and swearing when I saw how much more I had to go.
This next part is the part that made this book unsalvageable for me though. There is a big spoiler under this so proceed with caution. There is also a rant under the spoiler tag so, again, proceed with caution. I was cruising along and while not loving it, I was still thinking it would be a three star, until I hit a particular incident. [ There is a fairly graphic, on page rape of a main character. We got to that and I was just gobsmacked. I honestly have no idea what the hell the author thought when she threw this scene into this book. It was terrible and unnecessary and just really bullshit. I have followed this couple for years. Like 7 of them. I have waited 5 years for this new book and while I'm expecting to get a beautiful hea, I get violence and rape. I'm super pissed there was not caution warnings on GR, Amazon or Netgalley. There is on Riptide (which I looked up) but that's not really helpful for tons of readers. I don't usually go to every site a book is listed on to look at warnings & I imagine no one else does either.

This is not a triggery thing for me but I'm still mad. It's not something I wanted to read. I would have definitely skipped the book if I had known. I also think it was very irresponsible of both the author and publisher to not note this on Netgalley, GR or Amazon. This is a huge issue for some people. Huge. This kind of stuff can cause people to have flashbacks and trigger ptsd.

I'm also over the trauma porn that comes in to so many m/m books. You would never see this kind of thing in a m/f romance and I hate the double standard that comes with m/m books. Like rape is less of a violation or something if it's two guys. It is definitely something I have come to no longer tolerate in my books. And can you guess what comes right after the rape? Of course you can. One mc makes the rape victim feel better by having sex with him. But with lube, so you know, it's all good now. *biggest eye roll in the world* (hide spoiler)]
After this spectacular incident of nonsense I decided I was done. Done with the book, done with the series, done with this author. I finished reading it because I was so close to the end but my mood didn't improve and I have to say I 1000% regret reading this. I should have just left my fond memories in the past.

*trigger warning for on page, graphic rape*

**ARC provided through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review**

I have many mixed feelings about this book. Let me just say that as this is part of a series, it is imperative that readers read all the books in the series prior. There is not way to read this book without at least some knowledge of the character, who they are, what they've been through, and all the history. And history... this is so much of that.

I have a lot of books to read and catch up on, but I was so eager to read this, been waiting years and years, so I didn't go back and reread the series again. I just don't have time. And now I really wish I did. I'll probably go back and do that later, once I catch up and I have a need to dive back in to the world of Tommy and Prophet. I love them... two of my all time favorite characters. But, I have changed a lot, and as such, so has my reading likes. And while I did like this, I didn't love it like I might have years ago. And that really bums me out.

I'm not sure if is the style, the kind of stilted conversations that Tommy and Prophet typically have, or just the harsh love they share, or maybe just the incredible number of characters there are to keep track of, but at times this was hard to read. At one time, hard to see just why things were necessary and how come they had to go through just that much shit before they got their HEA. This actually reminded me of book 8 in the Cut and Run series, and how much Ty and Zane fought, and how Zane didn't trust Ty for so many reasons. I hated that so much, but reading it again later, I loved it, so maybe that will happen for me with this one.

The story starts off with the guys already in the thick of it, and it felt like I was dropped in the middle of a story that had already started. Like I missed the first 10 minutes of the movie, or something. But as I read, things slowly started to come back to me. Who people were, what was going on with John, why they have Remy, lots of stuff. And as the story continues, the clarity does as well. What also happened, is more and more characters come out to the surface and I was not always entirely sure I'd met them before. Sometimes I just couldn't remember, but in the end, I didn't care. All I really cared about was how they were going to get out of the crap they were in.

And when they did, when I thought what they were really working towards was over (a bit anticlimactically even when just prior to this really big kill/death scene, I was appalled at the direction it took) there was more. I felt like there was actually too much story, and too many people, and just too much everything. But then, again, it all came together and made sense and so I was on board again. I really road a rollercoaster with this one. Back and forth, up and down, this story had me going.

I had hoped for more with their HEA, that's one thing I really was looking for and I really only got a bit of it. Hopefully there will be something more, perhaps we'll see something in the next book about Mal and Cillian, which I can't wait for.

I'm really all over the board with feelings on this one, so it is really hard for me to rate, but I enjoyed the ride and I think I'll enjoy it even more when I go back and read them again. Fans of the series, do yourself a favor and reread the other books first. Please. It will be worth it.