I knew him got my attention from the very first page. the story following Julian trying to come to terms with his dad leaving , but also him coming to terms with his sexuality, and that he likes boys and well as girls . After recently splitting up with his on and off girlfriend Lucy . he decides that he need to get trough graduation and finally he can live the life he wants to without anyone knowing , things get complicated when new to town Ruth and her brother sky join the same school. Sky and Julian are lab partners in science and playing in the same play hamlet , Julian and sky spend more and more time together and Julian knows trying to hide who he really is going to be harder that he though when he starts to get feelings for sky ..

i love this sweet but also important novel About love but also the struggles people going trough in day to day life and being true to your self , but also shows the struggles with feeling accepted. I loved the hamlet storytelling .
Such as cute and amazing story .

* I received this book before its release through NetGalley. All of my thoughts are my own, and this will be a spoiler-free review. If you want to pick this book up (please do), it comes out April 15, and can be found as an e-book on Amazon in the US. I'm unsure about other countries.

TW: Biphobia. This book does have characters that are biphobic and it could potentially be hurtful to some readers, so be aware of that.

I Knew Him is Abigail de Niverville's debut novel. It is a coming of age story about a bi character named Julian aka Jules. Jules lives in Ontario, Canada, and is in his senior year of High School . Jules soon meets a boy he begins to develop feelings for, Sky, and he must confront his sexuality, and begin to accept himself.

I loved this book! I haven't read many books about bi characters coming out, but this one was fantastic! There is bi rep and gay rep in this book. I'd also never seen a gay character be biphobic, so that was surprising. Julian's dad is gay, divorced from Jules' mother, and has a boyfriend, David. There are also different ethnicities represented, with Sky and his family being Filipino. Too often the books we see with coming out stories have a primarily white cast of characters. I can not attest to how accurate the rep is, as I am not Filipino.

This book also features the play Hamlet, as Julian plays Hamlet in his High School production. As a former theater kid, I very much relate to his experience in theater. For a good chunk of the book, the teenage angst was real!It seemed to me like there were a bunch of literary references in this book (with characters named Belle and Mrs. Lowry, at least). I also was unfamiliar with Hamlet, so it was really cool to hear it explained that Hamlet and Horatio can be read as gay, and Shakespeare may have had same sex relationships in his life.

Sky is my favorite. I mean, the way he sends pictures of "cool birds" to Julian? Sign me up for that! Sky is artistic and smart, sensitive and genuine, and just a lovely character. Such a great love interest! He was patient with Julian coming out, and he understood the struggle, as he had issues coming out as gay to his family. Sky and Julian had a bunch of flirty banter early in the book and it was so cute!

A few critiques: Sometimes what characters said seemed ingenuine, and it seemed as though their dialogue was just placed in the story to create conflict (such as Jules' friend Will). There wasn't much of a back story as to how they thought that way and it seemed like a jump from previous characterization and dialogue, presenting as rather confusing. Also, one character kind of disappeared halfway through the book, and I felt as though there needed to be some closure.

Overall, I loved this book! It was a great story and the characters felt very genuine. I want many of them to be my friends! I hope we get a companion novel about Kelsey and Ruth, I got strong relationship-y vibes from them.

Pick this story up if you like
- bi rep
- literary references
- flirty banter
- teenage angst
- cute, artsy characters
- accepting best friends
- theatre
- Shakespeare

The descriptive bit: Julian is trying to survive long enough to get out of the small Canadian town he lives in. His escape is College or University in another town far away… in which he can be himself. Jules is bisexual, he’s pretty sure of it. He’s had girlfriends, he’s found himself kissing boys at parties when he was drunk, but he just can’t face telling his Mom or his best friends. Maybe, he can’t face saying it out loud at all.

Julian is persuaded to try out for the school production of Hamlet and he gets to know the new kid, Sky. Sky is artistic, sweet, thoughtful and … seems to be drawn to Julian. The more time that Jules spends with Sky, the more he realizes that he needs to start being himself if he’s going to survive.

I Knew Him by Abigail de Niverville comes out April 15th and is will be available here at NineStar Press.

My thoughts bit: This book is a lovely, contemporary, YA novel. It’s a coming-out story and a love story. I really enjoyed I Knew Him. The relationship between Jules and Sky is sweet, caring and patient – Jules is very lucky to find himself with such supportive friends. Sometimes, I like reading that! I like that some people can come out and it doesn’t cause much of a road bump with their friendships.

I also greatly appreciated the way in which Biphobia was addressed in the story. It’s a very real thing and I think that a lot of folks don’t realize that. I have heard people say, “He just doesn’t want to admit he’s gay.” Comments like that completely invalidate what someone is trying to say about themselves and it’s horrendous to hear. I applaud de Niverville for including this in Julian’s story. It’s important.

I really enjoyed the production of Hamlet in the book! I remember those amazing drama-days in school and I remember them fondly. I’ve even read theories that Horatio maybe have been a gay character. It’s certainly an interesting play to explore differences in people’s sexual orientation. I liked the way that Jules – the sports playing jock – became comfortable with his role as an actor at the same time as he was becoming comfortable with being the real person he was everywhere else.

The dynamics in Jules’ family were interesting. His father left the family because he was gay and that is on Jule’s mind from very early on in the novel. His experience with admitting who you are is limited to what happened with his father, and that tore his family apart. He loves his mother, that’s very clear from early on in the novel, and she loves him. But, Jules isn’t certain she will be able to accept him if he tells her he is bisexual given her reaction to his father’s reveal. It’s a bit more complicated than the usual coming out story and I liked that.

The warnings bit: Please be aware, I’m by no means an expert on what may or may not have the potential to disturb people. I simply list things that I think a reader might want to be aware of. In this book: violence, physical assault, gay man married to a woman, Biphobia and resulting physical assault.

I Knew Him is an okay book. With flaws and multiple hobbies, Julian is an interesting protagonist. Julian loved stars and musicals. Sky is a developed love interest with emotional scars. I enjoyed most of their scenes, particularly the ending of the play.

As for the other characters, Julian’s dad, David, and Kelsey provided surprising, interesting, emotional scenes. Unfortunately, many of Julian’s friends are underdeveloped. Despite her significance, Lucy receives little characterization and its difficult to determine why Julian liked her in the first place. Belle and Dan are Julian’s friends, but they only appear at the beginning and end of the story.
Will also lacks characterization. Additionally, Will discusses a certain person with Julian on many occasions, giving this individual significance. However, these discussions are pointless because the person never appears in the story.

Some lines are poetic and lovely. However, adverbs and filter words abound.
Despite the issues above, I enjoyed the book. Julian and Sky’s romance outshines the flaws.

I have to say I didn’t have any expectations going into this book. Sure, I was excited by the concept, but I wasn’t expecting anything. So, I was really pleasantly surprised by this book.

In I Knew Him, we’re introduced to Julian, a senior who is biding his time trying to pass as straight before he gets to college and can finally be fully himself. But then he meets Sky, a new kid at school, and gets involved in the school production of Hamlet (although this doesn’t play as big a role as you might expect).

What I Liked:

> I loved how this book doesn’t force Julian to come out. It very much disseminates the message that you don’t owe anyone your coming out, especially when it might not be safe for you to. Which it definitely feels like isn’t talked about enough, particularly in YA lit. I don’t remember reading a book that’s said that message so clearly. Normally it feels like either “come out or you can’t be happy”, “come out or you’re lying by omission”, or even “come out or you’re a coward”. So to have a character say that you don’t owe anyone that? It felt good.

> One of the characters is casually biphobic (in that he doesn’t believe it’s a thing), and this book never let you think it’s condoning that. Every time this character says something along those lines, the book is obviously placing him in the “not good” category. Initially, I thought I’d have liked maybe some indication he might be coming to realise he’s being biphobic, but the extent to which he insisted it wasn’t a thing, even after Julian had come out to him? I’m glad that never happened.

> There was no relationship- or misunderstanding-based angst between Julian and Sky. It was just both of them communicating well and supporting each other.

> Julian’s ex-girlfriend, although she disappears for most the book, was actually really nice about finding out the truth. She just wanted him to be happy (and now I want her to be happy).

> Seeing older gay characters get to be happy and in love is always an amazing thing. I really liked how Julian didn’t actually begrudge his dad that after he left them and actively wanted it to work with David. And then his dad and David being supportive of him and Sky. It’s just beautiful.

> The word bi or bisexual is used a lot so I loved that, obviously.

What I Liked Less:

> I kind of wanted more of a slowburn between Julian and Sky, but actually, given that there was no relationship angst later on, and they just got to support each other unconditionally? I wasn’t bothered.

> Early on, I was very confused about why Julian felt he couldn’t come out to his mum or best friend. It becomes a lot clearer around a fifth through I guess, but at the beginning when the reader hadn’t been told, when he said he could never come out, I did lean towards thinking along the lines of “you’re bi, not dying”. He felt a little needlessly angsty (though obviously when it’s revealed why, you understand).

> Sometimes the writing felt a little clunky, but yeah. Only sometimes, and not enough for me to get thrown out of the story.

So, in the end, if you want a cute romance, with Hamlet themes, and which overtly recognises that Shakespeare was not as straight as you think, this book is definitely for you.

I should have brushed up on Hamlet before I started reading. But I was still able to catch most of the references despite not recalling much from my Shakespeare class in college. I was hooked right away when I first read the description and I was not disappointed!

I KNEW HIM surprised me in the best way. I was drawn to the premise of a bisexual character navigating new love, and of course the backdrop of Shakespeare's play, Hamlet. I loved the quotes that were sprinkled throughout the book and mentioning of familiar characters from the play. It was interesting to see Hamlet and Horatio's relationship taken from a different angle, one that wasn't readily apparent to me when I first read Hamlet in high school. But that's the great thing about Shakespeare and other classics - there are so many ways to interpret the text and I don't think any of them should be considered wrong. I thought Hamlet was the perfect choice for a play that threads through Sky and Julian's relationship.

3.5

This was a solid read for me and one of the only books I've read with a Bi protagonist. Jules was a great character, one who I related to in a lot of different ways as he wants to run from his problems but grows able to face them head-on. His thoughts and feeling and how he handled different situations throughout the book was so mature and in other places so naive, just like so many teens out there. The author didn't shy away from creating such a realistic cast of characters all with their own problems. This was such a good story, one that needed to be told and I know can help so many teens and adults struggling with their sexuality and struggling with relationships, parents and friends included.

I do wish we got to see more interactions with Jules's friends as I didn't feel there was as much connection there as what was needed. Another thing was, in some places, I did feel like the pacing was a little too slow for my tastes. This did bring my rating down a little as while it was a pretty quick read, I did find my getting distracted in some parts where I wasn't as engrossed in the story as I wanted to be.

RATING: 5/5 STARS

Julian is a high school senior who's reluctant to come out as bisexual. He's just broken up with his girlfriend, Lucy, and is conflicted about how people will react to his sexual orientation so he hasn't shared his secret with anyone. He meets Ruth and her brother Sky, who are new to his school, and finds himself falling for Sky. Julian and Sky start spending more time together as they become lab partners, both audition for the theater's production of Hamlet, and talk outside of school. As Julian's feelings for Sky deepen, he embarks on a path of facing his identity and sharing his truth with those he loves.

I KNEW HIM surprised me in the best way. I was drawn to the premise of a bisexual character navigating new love, and of course the backdrop of Shakespeare's play, Hamlet. I loved the quotes that were sprinkled throughout the book and mentioning of familiar characters from the play. It was interesting to see Hamlet and Horatio's relationship taken from a different angle, one that wasn't readily apparent to me when I first read Hamlet in high school. But that's the great thing about Shakespeare and other classics - there are so many ways to interpret the text and I don't think any of them should be considered wrong. I thought Hamlet was the perfect choice for a play that threads through Sky and Julian's relationship.

However, the focus of this book isn't Hamlet (if I wanted that, I would have reread the original). What really shines in this narrative is the main character, Julian. For a seventeen-year-old boy, he has a maturity and connection with his own feelings that I found refreshing and easy to relate to. Even as I felt myself urging him to share more of himself with his family and friends, I understood the hesitations and fears that held him back. I liked Julian as a character - I found his personality to be kind and I really rooted for him. He felt authentic to me as a teenager trying to figure out life and messy relationships.

Sky was also an extraordinarily likable character. I appreciated the inclusivity in making his ethnicity half-Filipino and half-white. The relationship between Sky and Julian is tender and slow-burn, and I loved every second. I think fans of YA romance will really enjoy reading about their friendship unfolding into something more. Their connection was believable and their dialogue was the perfect combination of levity and meaningful conversation. There wasn't any vague misunderstanding that came between the characters like I've seen in some tropes. Sky and Julian are supportive of each other, their aspirations, and their relationships with other people in their lives. Sky has his own talents and goals. There's a scene where Sky describes how he perceives light and shadow as he draws, which I thought was beautifully written.

The supporting characters in this novel are also stellar. I believe the way Sky and Julian's mothers are portrayed will resonate with many LGBT teens. Julian's relationship with his father develops in an unexpected way, which I found hopeful and uplifting. And Julian and Sky's friends (even exes) are well-characterized. I enjoy reading books where the main characters are not in a vacuum and have purposeful relationships with others.

From a bird's-eye view of this book, there are important themes for teens addressed, including the value of embracing peoples' differences even if you don't understand them and LGBT representation. I liked how Julian and Sky's intimacy was handled; Julian wasn't pressured by Sky to do anything he wasn't ready for. One grievance I do have about this book was the underage drinking. I don't think it should be normalized or considered okay, especially if the characters are getting extremely drunk and hungover. I do recognize that drinking was one of the only ways Julian was able to cope with his feelings and he realized it was unhealthy, and I appreciated that there was no drug use in this book.

In summary, I thoroughly enjoyed this novel and highly recommend it to readers of the YA contemporary and LGBT genres. Abigail de Niverville is a promising new author and I hope to see more from her.

A sincere thanks to NetGalley and NineStar Press for providing an advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Social: Instagram post on @_shelf.awareness to come.