I must admit, I personally found the plot threads a little too heavy, which disjointed the clarity of the main narrative for me. There are lots of positives though. Maybe it would be a clearer read with a hard copy, rather than a digital version. So, I'll hold my full review until perhaps I read the published book.

There's good writing here and some great moments of suspense. The plot of a child murder is always a difficult read, the parents are looking like strong suspects and then various other strands come into play, like threatening letters to the pathologist; flashbacks to other young girls as an additional thread; developing relationships with the pathologist and the crime analyst and an overall theme arc of grooming, abuse and murder. Despite the heavy theme, the writer does handle it with great sensitivity and control. You need to read this is one or two sittings to really get to grips with the threads and story lines from the present and other past events. It was an okay read for me.

Two girls meet in a care home and bond together. Their lives will never be the same again. Unlov d they love each other but evil has them in its sights.
Many years later a pathologist receives threatening her and this links to her current work and her past. A gripping novel that has well written characters and plot line. I don't want to give things away so I will just say Read It and enjoy. You will not be disappointed .

A new series, a new dynamic, a new mix!

What appealed me first when I received an email about When I Lost You was the author. Merilyn Davies was a former Crime Analyst with the MET. Not a police officer per say. I was spared the DC / DS / DI / DSI and all those abbreviations I have become accustomed to. What a change! I immediately wondered what this particular angle would add to a novel. Well, Merilyn Davies answered my question with a superb blend of police procedural and psychological thriller! We often put them together under the crime fiction banner and, even though elements of both genres are needed to create a good crime novel, plots usually lean towards one side or another. Not here. The balance of justice is holding two sides in perfect sync!

A baby died. I hear you! ‘It’s the parents’! We see it all the time. Statistics prove it. So, I wasn’t surprised when pathologist Eve Graham stated within the first pages that the death is not natural, and all eyes turn towards the parents. Who claim they have nothing to do with it. Don’t they all say this? Yet, something was off. My sleuth brain caught the vibe as quickly as my body can get a cold in the middle of summer. The contrast between DS Nell Jackson and pathologist Eve Graham was evident, but both felt trustworthy, and their arguments convincing. I remember thinking at this very moment ‘This is going to be tricky!!!’ I couldn’t wait to get tangled up in a battle of evidence against testimonies, instinct versus facts. Yummy!!! (I really sound mad, but I blame good crime fiction for this)

But before we get a chance to form our own opinion on the possible suspects, the author makes sure her protagonists leave their trace on the reader. I was pleasantly surprised by the gentleness showed by the officers on scene, the cold facts fought by details, like the victim’s name. Details, yes, but they make all the difference between human beings and robots. You don’t want to be only a number on a file. The realism of the first chapter caught me by surprise. The pages screaming authenticity made me shiver. This feeling stayed with me throughout the novel. I pictured every scene as if I were watching a TV show. Without all the weird inconsistencies we get on the screen!!! My appreciation for DS Nell Jackson was instantaneous. Some characters just click with you on the spot!

I was barely recovering from a strong beginning and my meeting a new team when a shadow got thrown at Eve in the form of a letter alluding to her past and hinting that her conclusions may not mirror the truth… But who had sent it? Why? An investigation on a child’s death is not a high-profile case, so targeting the police is useless. Unless…

This is where the plot gets cut in half. On one side, Nell and her team need to discover whether or not the baby’s parents are truly to blame, while on the other side, the seed of doubt creates turmoil in the lives of all sides involved. Allegations against a professional are serious, especially when this person can send someone in jail for a very long time!

When the dead baby's father is found murdered, things get more complicated and questions arise. Where does the innocence lie?

Remember I talked about the blending of psychological thriller and police procedural? Merilyn Davies wrapped an apparent open and shut case into a giant bubble of lies and secrets, sending the reader back in time, forcing them to look for clues in every word, bringing them back to the present where a toxic smoke threatens to disrupt the course of justice.

Plot-wise, I was really impressed! Intertwined timelines and voices seemingly unconnected coming together one chapter after, like mosquitoes attracted to the fire, to deliver a splendid, horrendous, and exploding finale that left me blind. I had linked all the dots on the map, jumping from one difficult subject to the other, but I couldn’t decipher the image it created. I had a hard time processing the truth, and it took long minutes for the tension that had crept under my skin to release my body. From child abuse to murders, you get your fair share of what lurks in the dark.

But something else makes this book different, and oh-so-good!!!

Crime Analyst Carla Brown! Oh, I loved her ways, her tenacity and I need to thank the author for creating such a fascinating character. Carla is not just good at analyzing records and assisting those risking their lives on the field. Carla is a woman who cares, a perceptive colleague, and someone who won’t hesitate to go the extra mile to find the tiniest key which unlocks the door to reveal the truth. When the new boss asks her to tag along and interview people, pushing her to leave her office to be a full part of the team, she follows with trepidation, and I enjoyed this refreshing take on positions within the force. Police officers often get a magic call with traced numbers etc, but here, we get to see the actual work, the mind racing, the hours stretching to catch THE element which will make the difference.

What happens when work turns into something more personal?

If Nell and Carla begin as two clear atoms absolutely not ready to connect, the unraveling of events brings them together, creating a strong duo I would love to read more about!
When I Lost You brings a new voice, or should I say two new voices, to the genre, with a gritty and compelling plot which will satisfy the pickiest readers! It is a fantastic addictive debut!

This was gripping and fast paced, with good characters. I enjoyed the first 2/3rds of the novel a lot, but found the ending to be a bit disappointing.. The flashbacks were well written and believable.

Aw, what a great book! Full if suspense, drama, twists and turns! At some point at the end I already knew who had done it and I kind of guessed the consequences but still, it was a really gripping story!

When I began this book I found it a little confusing. The standard is one central detective, usually with a sidekick. This novel opens with four or five police officers, plus connected agencies, and I wasn't really sure who the central focus was.

The crime itself was quite intriguing from the outset although I did piece together what had happened earlier than I usually would and that made it harder to stay motivated to the end.

I could definitely see this book as a television crime drama more than as a novel.

When a baby is found dead in her cot Carla Brown, a crime analyst, and DS Nell Jackson investigate. Although Eve, the pathologist is quite certain of events Carla is not convinced. Her analyst nerves are twitching & on further investigation reveals that she is right to be suspicious. However Eve is married to her oldest friend & mentor which makes things difficult.

The story switches frequently to thirty five years ago when two teenage girls are thrown together due to arriving at a care home at the same time. Having been let down by the people who should have protected them they form a bond that ties them more tightly than family.

Although I guessed what was going on it didn't stop this from being one of the most enjoyable books I have read for ages. It really grabbed the attention. It was great to see a police procedural seen through the eves of a civilian analyst. I do hope we'll get to read more about Carla Brown! The rest of the team were also worth getting to know. Thanks to Netgalley & the publisher for letting me read & review this great book.

When I Lost You started really well and I became interested right away. Eventually I started to become confused, the story seemed to jump about and the characters were confusing as I felt they all mingled into one another! I felt the chapters were erratic and hope when the book is finished off and printed things will become clearer as it could be a really good read.

Great book ... a very exciting plot, with strong characters. I would recommend this book.

Many thanks to Netgalley and Marilyn Davies for the copy of this book. I agreed to give my unbiased opinion voluntarily.

I really enjoyed this book. There is a lot of suspense throughout and I thought that the ending was really good. I got totally caught up in the story and although I had guessed who Mary was it did not spoil my enjoyment of the book.

Thank you to Netgalley for my copy.

A very intriguing story with a complex plot and thrilling end that I couldn't wait to get back to every time I was forced to stop reading. The present storyline is interesting but for me, the past one is where this book really shines. The two girls and their relationship with each other and their groomer are brilliantly depicted. Although I had a hunch about what was going on I enjoyed seeing how the team got to the truth. I think this story would appeal to fans of The Ice Cream Girls.

All is not what it seems.

This is a very complicated crime thriller, with so many twists and flashbacks it is sometimes hard to keep up.

At the outset, police are sent to investigate a child murder, and the child's parents are the immediate suspects. But doubt is cast on this, when the lead pathologist, Eve, receives a threatening letter. This refers to a wrong diagnosis she gave in the past, which was eventually overturned on appeal, but not before the innocent mother had served several years in prison.

As the police dig deeper in this latest case, they find it increasingly difficult to get to the truth. Eve’s husband, also a policeman, reluctantly hands over further letters that Eve has received.

To complicate things still further, there are flashbacks to a completely different storyline of two teenage girls living a miserable life in a care home, and it is a love story. They are completely devoted to each other, but their life together is brought to a sudden and violent end, and this has far-reaching consequences.

The author eventually brings the strands of these two stories together, but it is very far-fetched. The person who is finally convicted goes through a typical trial but is obviously quite insane.

The dialogue is good, and the police setting is authentically written. Had the story been more believable and less complicated, this would have been a more satisfying read.

Jane

Breakaway Reviews received a copy of this book to review.

This book tells the gripping story of the death of a baby in suspicious circumstances and the pathologist Eve Graham pointing the finger at the mother. Eve then gets threatening letters and in a previous court case her evidence saw a mother imprisoned wrongly. Who is sending the letters??
On the case is DS Nell Jackson and Carla Brown, an analyst. Harrowing story of grooming, teenage pregnancy and abuse. I read this almost in one sitting as I was so gripped.

An unusual and complex police thriller which got better as it went along. A sad story of grooming,love and death. Good characters and a good police team I hope we meet again.

I really enjoyed this book reading it in one sitting!

The book deals with some hard topics - the effects of abuse, dominance and grooming on individuals and the cost to both the individuals affected and those closest to them. It was very emotionally draining at times.

The latest no term effect on Mary of letting her friend die but saving her baby is catastrophic to all concerned. Her increasing delusions lead to the death of the child she had done so much to save.

The police procedural story almost secondary to the central drama.

Rating: 3.5
A baby is found dead and the pathologist points the finger at the mum. Though another murder and an intriguing letter leads this investigation onto a more confusing turn of events that dates back a bit further than imagined.

I did enjoy this book, it was definitely a page turner that kept you hooked till the end. I wasn't able to predict exactly what was going to happen but I wasn't that far off, and to be honest I was a little disappointed with the ending. It was a somewhat satisfying ending, a little bit confusing at times.

I loved the writing style and the characters, my favourite was Carla and Nell, I loved the progression of their relationship and the backstory of Carla as well. This could easily become a series following the team onto the next investigation, which I would happily read.

A great thriller with a nice twist!

Thanks Netgalley and the Publisher. Not sure I could write a review about this book really as can honestly say that I skipped quite a lot and then had to go back as found the writing really confusing and not a good storyline.

When a couple are accused of killing there baby by a local pathologist DS Nell Jackson and Crime Analyst Carla Brown decide to investigate but things don't seem to add up.
As they dig deeper things start to unravel especially regarding the pathologist Eve.
The book begins when two young girls are in care together they are best friends, one day when there are at the beach they encounter a man called Alf who runs the local cafe.
Things take a turn for the worst and he starts to groom Mary and Aoife before long one of them is pregnant dead and the other runs away and saves the baby.
What has all this to do with what is happening now and Eve?

A very complicated storyline but intriguing.
It involves child abuse and grooming- very difficult topics which are well written and sympathetically handled.
Eve, a pathologist is accused of blaming mothers for their babies’ deaths even when their is doubt or someone else more likely to be responsible for the death.
It involves people trying to get a fresh start but being haunted by the past.
The narrative deals with difficult and complicated relationships between the main characters and keeps the reader hooked until the very end.
The relationships between the police and crime analyst are very realistic.
Something a bit different from the norm.
Very enjoyable.

This is one of the novels that it’s worth sticking with, despite the fact that it's initially somewhat confusing, with a lot of names introduced in a fairly short amount of time, and with much interspersing of events that took place in the thirty-five year span of the story, with the modern-day investigation. But gradually the confusion disappears and you become absorbed in the story, and want to know what happens next.

Also interesting is finding out a little about the work of an analyst. The author herself is an analyst, and therefore writes from first-hand experience about the work of an analyst and the way in which the police proceed when confronted by the unexplained death of a baby.

In the story, there are five central characters in modern times: DS Nell Jackson works with DC Paul Mackintosh, and DCI Max Bremer, who involves Thames Valley crime analyst, Carla Brown, in the investigation in a way that is beyond what’s normal for an analyst. The other central character is the Lead Forensic Pathologist, Eve Graham. Having said that, their spouses, too, have important roles to play. And so, too, do the characters who appear in the earlier years depicted in the novel.

The novel proper starts with the death of a baby, which had yet to be determined to be a natural death or the result of being forcibly shaken. The young mother, Kelley-Anne, and her boyfriend, Connor O’Brien, deny being responsible for the death of their child, but the police suspect that this is not a natural death. Pathologist Eve Graham blames the mother for the child’s death before she’s even examined the body and before the police have begun their investigation.

Soon after the investigation begins, Eve hands Carla an envelope, which, she said, her husband had persuaded her to hand over to the police. In the letter, which appears to be the third or fourth similar letter sent to Eve, Eve is accused of being responsible for the writer’s imprisonment, and the writer, later freed on account of the flaws in the evidence presented by Eve, implores Eve not to destroy deliberately the life of another young mother in such a way. Mystifyingly, the letter writer knows personal facts about Eve’s past, and knows of the investigation into the dead baby that’s about to start, something which would not have been known by everyone.

I won’t say any more about the story as I don’t want to be responsible for spoilers. Suffice it to say, the novel deals with gritty themes, which are handled sensitively, and without any hint of gratuitous sensationalism.

This is not the sort of novel from which to read a chapter a day. In order to keep abreast of the plot and the characters, it’s preferable to read large chunks at a single reading. If the reader does so, the result will be rewarding.

My thanks go to NetGalley and the publishers for my advance copy of the novel.