Thanks to Netgalley and Bookouture for allowing me to read this Arc. A lovely story. I read it in one day because I couldn't put it down. It made me laugh and cry. A story of different family dynamics.

“The Mother I could have been”is a wonderful exploration of family dynamics, especially those between mother and daughter.
Relationships can be hard full stop but this novel highlights the often complicated and difficult relationship that can exist between any mother and her child/children. Most mothers are only ever trying to do their best for their offspring so when a woman is capable of abandoning her own son, in this case Vicky walking out on Theo,we struggle to understand how someone can cut all ties with their own flesh and blood. What exactly makes a woman feel this is the best and only option? And who are we to judge?
Life is far from black and white and in this thought provoking and tender hearted novel, Vicky has plenty of reasons for such drastic action. Despite doing the unthinkable, I quickly warmed to her character especially when up against the extremely controlling Barbara, Vicky’s mother in law. Running away seems to be what Vicky does best, having left her own step family for the beach life in Greece, convinced that her step siblings come first in her mother’s eyes and that she herself has no secure foothold in her mother’s affections.
The relationships in this book are all so true to life and could represent any family situation from sibling rivalry to domineering mothers to those simply torn between their offspring and forced to make choices and sacrifices they are uncomfortable with. Miscommunication, crossed wires can all too easily lead to battle lines being drawn which is evident in the storylines of these characters.
Caro’s story is heartbreaking,
a woman who embodies all you think a mother should be, just trying to do her best, loving both her children equally but not so in her daughter Imogen’s eye. There is definitely sibling rivalry between her and her brother Fergus who manages the family’s holiday cottage business. Banned from seeing her grandchildren after a (hilariously portrayed) disastrous New Year’s Eve babysitting, Caro’s heart is torn in two as her daughter systematically begins to sever all ties in such a callous hard hearted way whilst maintaining minimal contact with her father Gilbert. The pain Caro feels at this estrangement is written about so eloquently as is the strain this places upon husband and wife.
For Vicky it’s a case of wherever I lay my hat that’s my home until her world collides with Caro, taking a live-in job marketing the holiday cottages. The impact the developing relationship between Vicky and Caro has on Imogen and indeed both families is well portrayed. Can these relationships coexist side by side or will this end up tearing Caro’s family apart for good??
There is a depth to this novel that I didn’t anticipate and I couldn’t help but think about these themes on a personal level.
I think the intricacies of a mother’s love is beautifully woven into this engaging storyline with characters that are believable and flawed and I absolutely loved it!!! Easy to read and engrossing, the words flowed off the page.A five star read for me and most definitely recommend.
Thanks as always to the author and publisher and Netgalley for allowing me to read in exchange for an honest review.

Deciding to indulge my loves of romantic suspense and family drama once again, I chose to read The Mother I Could Have Been - Kerry Fisher's latest release. I had no expectations going into this, being very much a Kerry Fisher novice, and it was a lovely surprise and such a pleasure that I enjoyed this story so much.

Vicky Hall grew up believing herself to be the least important person in her new step-family, ignored by her mother in favour of her two younger half-siblings. Always an afterthought and sitting alone at her graduation ceremony at the age of twenty-one, she vows to create her own family and her own life, one which is full of the love and attention she has always craved.

When Vicky takes a holiday in Greece that summer she decides to stay, meets William and falls pregnant, though it isn’t planned. The couple believe they can make their relationship work, so William takes Vicky back to his family home in the UK. They decide to stay there until they can afford to buy a home of their own. They have a son they name Theo and at last, Vicky feels complete as they shower their child with love which they hope will be enough. When Theo is two, Vicky leaves him in the care of Barbara, her mother-in-law, walks out of her front door and drives to a hotel where she takes a room for the night. She doesn’t return.

Told from the viewpoints of Vicky and Caro (one of Vicky’s many employers), this was an amazing read. When a new chapter opens in Vicky’s life, she finds solace in the company of Caro, her husband Gilbert and their son, Fergus. But they have their own trials and tribulations, in the form of their daughter, the thorny, awkward and demanding India. Another family with divisions no one sought yet existed primarily because of India's jealousy, immaturity, and emotional blackmail.

I loved Kerry Fisher's overall writing style and glorious characterisation and the story was meaningful, endearing and totally absorbing. Satisfying and ultimately hopeful, it was a cracking good read that brought no disappointments. I am looking forward to reading some of Kerry's other work, probably starting with 'The Woman I Was Before'.

The Mother I Could Have Been is very highly recommended to those who like reading contemporary fiction with a good dose of realism.

I received a complimentary digital copy of this novel, at my request, from Bookouture via NetGalley and this review is my own unbiased opinion.

I thought I was going to love this. Mother-daughter relationships can be rewarding or fraught with road blocks and misunderstandings.
In the end I found I didn't relate to Fisher's work as I thought I would, evidenced by the fact that it took me so much longer to read than what a novel normally takes me.

A Bookouture ARC via NetGalley

Heart-breaking, emotional and thought-provoking, Kerry Fisher’s The Mother I Could Have Been is an incisive, captivating and intelligent read that will take over your life and linger in your mind long after you’ve turned the last page.

Vicky Hall has always been an outsider. Always feeling like an unwanted afterthought by her stepfamily, Vicky has grown up not knowing affection. Constantly slighted by her mother in favour of her younger siblings, Vicky doesn’t know the meaning of the words love and support, but as she sits by herself at the age of twenty-one during her graduation ceremony, a determined Vicky vows to change things. She is sick and tired of being alone and lonely and is adamant that she will no longer be on the outside looking in. She is going to have a family of her own and be showered by love, care and affection. But Vicky ought to be very careful what she wishes for because life is about to take her down a very dark and twisted path…

When Vicky meets William and she falls pregnant, she thinks that finally all of her dreams of having a family of her own are about to come true. Her pregnancy was not planned, but Vicky and William vow to make it work and to ensure that their child will have the best possible childhood. Vicky cannot wait to shower her child with all the love she has to offer, however, Vicky should know by now that things do not always go to plan – a cruel lesson which fate seems keen to keep on teaching her again and again…

One day, Vicky leaves her two year old son Theo with her mother in law. She walks out of her front door and books herself into a hotel room for one night. And does not return. What sort of mother abandons her own child? What kind of mother walks out on her own family and on an innocent and helpless child? Vicky was meant to be the best kind of parent. What drove her to leave her family behind? What is behind this seemingly selfish act of abandon? Is there more than meets the eye to this story? Or was Vicky just not cut out to be a parent?

The Mother I Could Have Been is immersive storytelling at its best! Kerry Fisher knows how to plumb the depths of the human heart and create a first rate tale that will get under your skin and keep you up all night desperately turning the pages. A well-written tale of sacrifice, family and the ties that bind and the bonds that break, The Mother I Could Have Been is a book you will want to tell your friends about – just make sure you warn them that they will not be getting any sleep until they finish it.

Million selling author Kerry Fisher’s writing goes from strength to strength and whether The Mother I Could Have Been is the first book of hers you’ve read or you are a devoted follower, one thing is for certain: you will certainly not be disappointed.

Families are hard to keep together. Eleven harder when someone does something that people think a mother can never do, but our central character does it, seemingly without too much concern for all involved. Slowly, we change and circumstances often offer us a do-over, if we have the courage and resolve to be honest. Full of emotional twists., Fisher pulls us in and wrings us out. I’ve read several of her novels and even with different storylines we always come back to tears and possible redemption.

Kerry Fisher has written a thought-provoking and emotion evoking story. The book delves deep into the mother daughter relationship. Vicki has felt that her mothers love was more focused on her half siblings ever since they entered the picture. Determined to make a life for herself she heads to Greece where she meets William. William, seems to be the answer to all her problems, then she gets pregnant.Soon she finds herself living with his parents back in the UK. His mom seems to be elated about having a grandchild, but after Theo is born she is a little too involved. This leads to Vicky packing up and leaving, without a trace and without Theo. CARO is the mother of two adult children and rents out holiday cottages. Her relationship with her daughter India is quite contemptuous. When Vicky and Caro’s paths cross they form a bond that leads them to healing and forgiveness.

as a mother I had such a hard time with Vicky leaving little Theo behind. I tried not to judge and understand that she was insecure. I also understood that it would be tremendously difficult to have your child call his grandma mama and call you by your first name and to be scared of you. Why William did not stand up for her is beyond me, or even better why Vicky did not stand up for herself. But that leads back to the insecurity. Caro was a caring and loving mother with a daughter that can only be described as a total bitch. Her daughter India was such a piece of work, I cannot even imagine treating my mom that way or having my daughter treat me the way she treated her. There was so much miscommunication and unreasonable expectations in the story. Vicky’s relationship with her mother was heartbreaking as well. There were a few little twist and turns throughout the story, but this really was more of an emotional journey. I kept thinking what would I do in each of these mother’s situations? No easy answers. A beautifully told story with a satisfying ending.

This book in emojis. 🏖 🤰🏻 🐶

*** Big thanks to Bookouture for my gifted copy ***

I have read and enjoyed a few of Kerry's books now. She certainly knows how to write emotional and heart breaking stories that will tug on even the hardest of heartstrings- yes that includes mine. By the time I finish one of Kerry's books, I am usually sniffing loudly and wiping tears away with a tissue. I read the synopsis for 'The Mother I Could Have Been' and it certainly sounded as though I was going to be in for a hell of a tear-jerking read and I wasn't wrong either. I did enjoy reading 'The Mother I Could Have Been' but more about that in a bit.
During the first half of the book, I veered between wanting to slap Vicky and wanting to give her a hug. As I gradually learnt more about her and her back story I found myself developing more sympathy for her. She doesn't enjoy the best of her relationships with her own mother. Following her exams, Vicky goes abroad with her friend and her friend's family for a break. Whilst there she drifts from relationship to relationship. When she gets together with William, she falls pregnant and she thinks that finally here is her chance to be the mother she wants to be. Her partner's family take her in. It's as if she is drawn to other people's families and when they take her to their hearts, she gets afraid or paranoid and then sabotages her situation. I did get the impression that Vicky feels smothered by her interfering mother-in-law and I did share her sense of frustration of how she is treated by her. One day the unthinkable happens and Vicky walks out on her child and doesn't go back. What has led to her seemingly 'abandoning' her child? What is the truth of her relationship with her mother? Is there a twist to the tale? Well for the answers to those questions and so much more you are just going to have to read the book for yourselves to find out as I am not going to tell you.
I have to be honest and say that it took me a little while to get into this book. That could be in part due to the fact that I was tired when I began to read and I was also finding it hard to concentrate. I also found myself becoming increasingly irritated with Vicky but I just knew that I had to persevere with the book as there was bound to be a reason for the way in which Vicky behaves. I am so glad that I persevered with the book because the more I read, the more absorbed by the story I became. This wasn't a book that I could read in one big binge but I did manage to read the book over the course of a few days. It was certainly an emotive read and one that is sure to stay with me for a long time to come.
'The Mother I Could Have Been' is beautifully and sensitively written but then I wouldn't expect anything else from Kerry Fisher. She writes so movingly and compassionately that it is impossible not to become wrapped up in the story. Kerry certainly knows how to grab your attention from the start and once she has your attention she doesn't release it until the moment you get to the end of the book. Even then, the issues raised will stay fresh in your mind for a long time to come. Kerry uses such vivid and realistic descriptions that I really did feel as though I was part of the story myself. I found myself going through every emotion that the various characters were going through, which left me in a bit of an emotional state.
In short and overall, I did enjoy reading 'The Mother I Could Have Been' and I would recommend this book to other readers. I will definitely be reading more of Kerry's work in the future. The score on the Ginger Book Geek board is a very well deserved 4* out of 5*.

Kerry Fisher never stops amazing me. I first fell in love with Fisher’s writing style with her previous release, The Woman I was Before, and the gift she has of pulling you into a deep emotional story that will pull on your heartstrings. It is such a tall order when a synopsis boasts a story perfect for fans by such well known authors as Jodi Picoult and Diane Chamberlain and I must say Kerry Fisher really lives up to the hype set forth in the synopsis. Fisher writes with such raw emotion and realism that will leave you in tears. Yes, I did cry because The Mother I Could Have Been is such a tender, thought provoking and emotional look into family and life in general and what it means to be a mother.

Vicki Hall always felt like an outsider, even within her own family. Her mother is remarried with two new children and Vicki feels rather left out and unnoticed. Vicki thinks she would be better off on her own and sets out to make a life and family of her own. But, when she thinks she finally found her happily-ever-after, Vicki is in for an awakening when the same fears slowly crop up leaving her to abandon her two year old son, Theo, into the care of his father and mother-in-law. Will Vicki ever find her way back to her son?

I am not sure I can even begin to express how emotional and heartbreaking this story is. I am not a mother, but I do have a mother whom I am very close to and just the thought of ever leaving and losing touch is just devastating to me. While I can understand Vicki’s reasoning behind doing what she did, I don’t think she ever really thought things through. In a way, I guess she was young and naive and thought she was doing the right thing. While I may not have liked the “younger” Vicki or the decisions she made, Vicki did redeem herself as she got older and “wiser.” Vicki became a totally different person and it was so easy to see the changes she was going through as she made peace within herself for the actions in her past.

This story just grips you right from the start. I had a really hard time putting it down and found myself reading well into the night in part wanting to strangle Vicki, cry for her, or rejoice when she finally started coming into her own. I think in some ways readers can relate to something in this story as I think most of us have regrets in our past or even wondered if we could have done things differently. It really is an eye opener when a story can make you think about your own family dynamics.

The Mother I could Have Been is a heartfelt and honest look into families and what it means to be a mother with flaws and all. This is a definite five star read for me and if I could give it more stars I would! If you have not read anything by Kerry Fisher yet, come over here so I can slap you because you are truly missing out on a fantastic and beyond talented author.

With thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for the Arc, which I have enjoyed reading.
The Mother I Could Have Been by Kerry Wilkinson is a story about families and how they split away from each other and how some can get back in touch when they are ready to try again. Sometimes it can be too late, a parent has since died or have a serious illness. This storyline seems to have every possible combination of death, sickness and stubbornness that can cause separation in families. I enjoyed getting to know the characters, some of whom you as a reader get to like and others you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. I look forward to hearing from Caro, Gilbert, Vicky, Fergus and Theo again.
Highly recommended.

Growing up, Vicky didn’t have a mother who she could rely on. As a young adult, Vicky struggles to find a path to a future that will make her feel happy and fulfilled. When she falls pregnant, she thinks she has found love and family. But when things don’t come easy to Vicky, Vicky takes off when her son is only two years old and feels everyone is better off without her. She has failed to become a mother she wants to be.
When she is given a second chance years later, she struggles to make the best decision for everyone. Vicky must find herself before she can be the mother she wants to be.

Two heroines, different generations, seeking to do what's best: emotionally profound👍👍
4.5🌟stars
👥Vicky and Caro -- two women of different generations and with divergent family situations but united in their need to reunite with estranged family. Vicky, the younger of the two, began her problems by distancing herself from her mother. Her emotions are conflicted when she herself becomes a mother and faces criticism and a lack of support from her partner and his family. I found Vicky a confused soul, full of self doubt and afraid to trust her parenting abilities. Caro, a settled mother and grandmother, deals with a daughter full of resentment, anger and jealousy. Her struggle to keep her family together is no less compelling than Vicky's dilemma.

Author Kerry Fisher has written a deeply profound tale of the complicated relations between mothers and daughters, but also how their issues impact the rest of their families. I was really drawn into their story. Realistically, there are repeated disappointments and missteps, but also some moments of joy and loving reminiscence. Ultimately, despite their setbacks, happy times and healing are promised in the final Christmas scene, none more so than in the reappearance of a beloved granddaughter.

Kerry Fisher is a new author to me and, based on my enjoyment of The Mother I Could Have Been, I will definitely be looking for more of her work.

Thanks to publisher Bookouture and NetGalley for providing a complimentary advance copy of the book; this is my voluntary and honest review.

Favorite Quotes:

I couldn’t resist Rowan. He was my favourite by far because he was innately naughty. He hadn’t yet mastered the art of throwing a bomb and not being anywhere in the vicinity when it went off. I adored him.

I sometimes couldn’t believe she was my daughter, with her endless stream of rules and regulations. ‘Who is coming tonight?’ She managed to say it as though I’d have invited all the local miscreants and some dodgy men with an unhealthy interest in children.

You’re brilliant with customers. I love how you tell them to bugger off so politely they enjoy the journey.

It was amazing how clearly I could see the flaws in other people’s mothering but would need surgical intervention to patch up the gaping wounds in my own.

He carried the message like a wise man cupping a gift of myrrh, reverential, with a sense of ceremony, big man coming through with big news.

The woman pursed her lips so tightly, I wanted to tell her that in twenty years’ time, her lipstick wouldn’t bleed, it would haemorrhage .

You are such a drama queen. I don’t even recognise the childhood you think you had. No, Mum and Dad weren’t perfect, but they were good enough. You talk about them as though we were left chewing on scraps in a dungeon, fending for ourselves.


My Review:

I have a new favorite author - despite her heavy deployment of angsty and emotive story threads. I was so absorbed by her brilliantly insightful and evocative writing, complex and profoundly flawed characters, and witty wordplay that I didn’t seem to mind the eye-burning, heart-squeezing, or ire-producing storylines that I typically eschew. I was instantly mesmerized and sucked into this perceptive and thoughtfully crafted tale and resented any intrusion or interruption to my perusal for those unimportant distractions such as sleep, hygiene, whining husband, or nutritional sustenance. Kerry Fisher is a phenomenal writer with powerful word voodoo. I am driven to amass all her clever words and have added her entire listing to my TBR.

I love this author. She never disappoints. And this book - wow! Heartfelt and beautiful. It took me through a range of emotions and made me ponder as to what I would have done in similar circumstances. The characters are so real and they, along with their poignant story, will stay with me for a very long time. Beautifully written, this is a real treat of a book. Highly recommended to everyone.

Vicky a,ways felt that her other o overlooked her in favour of her younger half brother and sister. She vowed when she had her own family, she will love them all equally. So when Vicky meets William in Greece she falls pregnant, they marry and move back to England. One Christmas when her son Theo was two, Vicky walks out the family home, intending to stay I e ight in a hotel room, ut Vicky never returns. Vicky eventually meets and works for Caro, who has two adult children. Her son works in the family business but her daughter seems to pick fault in everything Caro does. Can the two women help each other to become the mothers they so much wanted to be?

This is a book about family relationships and expectations. I can not say I did not honestly like Vicky but I don't like people whom walk out on their responsibilities everytime something does not go their way. Caromis an older woman whose son works for the fa ily business and his sister is full of jealousy. The story is heartbreaking in parts. The story is told from Ficky and Caro's point of view. I am sure a ,ot of topics covered I this story will resonate with some readers. A other well written book by the author.

I would like to thank NetGalley, Bookouture and the author Kerry Fisher for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This is Vicky's' story. She lost her father at a young age, which was bad enough. But her mom remarried and had 2 more children. Vicky always felt like the odd person out. She perceived her mom spending all time and efforts on the younger children.

When her mom did not even attend her graduation from school, she decided then and there she would one day have her own family full of the love and attention she has always wanted.

On a trip to Greece, she meets William a free soul, sort of a surfer dude. But then Vicky gets pregnant and everything changes. She is welcomed into William's home with his mother and father and they absolutely adore the baby, Theo.

William grows up in a hurry and spends many hours at work. He encourages Vicky to work part time so they can afford to get their own placed. William's mother becomes Theo's carer.

Once again, Vicky feels adrift as William's mother encourages Theo to call her mamma .. and teaches Theo to cry and scream if Vicky even tries to pick him up.

She endures until she can no longer endure. Believing she is not a good mother and that Theo would be better off without her, she leaves ... never to return.

Not an easy thing to do .. leave a young child that you love with all your heart and soul. What kind of mother does that? The kind who is hiding a story you can never imagine.

This is a heart-wrenching tale of dysfunctional families, toxic relationships, second chances, love, miscommunication, impossible decisions. Get the tissues handy ... you'll need them.

This is so well written, I read it in one day. It was hard to put down, and when I did put it down, all the characters remained in my head ... and in my heart. The characters are finely developed ... and credible.

Many thanks to the author / Bookouture / Netgalley for the digital copy of this psychological family drama. Read and reviewed voluntarily, opinions expressed here are unbiased and entirely my own.

I absolutely loved this heartwrenching story of motherhood, the lies (and truths we believe) that we tell ourselves, and the shields we build to protect ourselves. I love the way this book made me think about the relationships that I have and what I would do to protect those people, and to question whether those decisions are selfish and right or wrong. I absolutely loved every page of this book and will certainly be reading more by this author.

My heart went out to Vicky, her mother had re-married and always seemed to put her two younger half-siblings before her, to the extent that she didn’t even attend her graduation due to a family emergency.

After university, Vicky escapes to Greece with her friends for a holiday and makes the decision to stay and find work there when her friends go home. When she meets William and falls pregnant, she vows that her child will have all the love the she missed out on. So why, two years later does she walk out on her husband and child!

This author words are achingly honest and sincere, none more so than when portraying the relationship between Vicky and her mother-in-law.

You will not be able to put this book down.

This story is about a young insecure girl named Vicky Hall. She always thought of herself as not enough being a daughter of a woman who remarried and had 2 more children. She also thought of herself as less important. She then went away on a trip with her best friend Liv and her family and decided to stay. She then met William, became pregnant and even though they didn't get married, they are living together in his parents house.

I enjoyed reading the book so much. Especially how Caro's story is intertwined into Vicky's. This book is so much about family dynamics, relationships, how the children have a different understanding of how their parents raised them and why they did what they did. This is also about abandonment and how the characters coped with it. It is about a mother's unconditional love, her fears, her want to make everything almost perfect.

This was such a complex, beautiful story of all the characters fused together in one book and they all made sense. It throws you different points of views and makes you think about your own life, too.

#netgalley #themothericouldhavebeen #kerryfisher

As with every Kerry Fisher book once I start reading I cannot put the book down. Vicky’s father dies when she is quite young. Her mother remarries and has two more children. Vicky has always felt the outsider, so after university she goes on holiday to Greece with her best friend and her family. The friend and her family returns to the UK but Vicky stays on. She finds a job in a bar and starts an affair with the owner. Whilst on the beach one day she meets William, who sweeps her off her feet. They return to the UK and stay with William’s very uptight mother. The story continues from here, I will not spoilt it. One hint, keep tissues nearby. This book made me laugh and cry, I loved every page.