I struggled to get into this book. The addition of Caro did not make sense with the rest of the story and at first I was lost reading her story. I was fascinated by Vicky’s story. I enjoyed her character and felt she was a very strong person despite leaving her son. She felt she was doing the best thing for him and never stopped thinking of him. I wish the story had expanded on Vicky’s story.

This is a book that once I picked up, it totally consumed me. I ended up reading it in one evening as I was so absorbed by what was in front of me and I had to see how everything was going to end.

Vicky is going to be a character that people are going to ask themselves what they would do in her position. I know I did. As a mother could I ever just walk away? Reading her story though, I had every empathy and could understand why she does what she did.

The story starts off with Vicky and then alternates between Vicky and another mother Caro. Caro even though a lot more maturer in age than Vicky, has issues of her own with her grown up daughter India. I could easily fill a few pages of my thoughts on India. So many times I wanted to give her a good slap and take her down a peg or two.

In a way we see motherhood at two very different stages. With Vicky, the early stages and feeling like you are never quite good enough and the constant self doubts. Caro, we get to see what it’s like in the later years. With a daughter dealing with jealousy and using her children as a bargaining tool to get at her parents. Something that I can not abide.

This is a story very much about bonds and the relationship between parent and child. Vicky’s relationship with her own mother was heartbreaking and in a way, an eye opener. As was India’s with Caro. It makes you sit back and take stock of your own childhood as well as your relationship with your siblings and parents.

The Mother I Could Have Been is an eye opener of a read. It made me reevaluate things in my own life. I loved this insight into motherhood as it really got into my head and heart. It was a story I didn’t want to end as a few of the characters in this book stole a piece of me. A meaningful and endearing read that fully embraced me and didn’t let me go. An absolute must read.

I have loved every book I’ve read by this author and this is no exception. I loved it. I didn’t want it to end. Excellent read.

I've read a number of books by Kerry Fisher and she is always consistent, which is not to say her books are boring, not al all! They are engaging and well written with characters that feel real, as was the case once again with The Mother I Could Have Been. Recommended!

This book delves into the very high-strung mother-daughter relationship.
A mother-daughter relationship is a very fragile bond, fraught with many emotions and though there are tough moments, there’s always place for loads of love.
It just so happens that we perhaps do not understand some of the reasonings behind our mother’s decision and actions till we grow up, and perhaps face similar situations. Yet we hold our mums to a very high standard, demanding perfection from her at all times.

The protagonist of the story is Vicky Hall, who has a dodgy relationship with her own mum, who seems to have more time for new family (husband Ian, and kids Joey and Emily). This leads Vicky to believe that she is not good enough to be given importance by anybody and be the first in anyone’s life. The last straw is when her mum misses her graduation ceremony and doesn’t even help her pack-up and relocate back home.
Her friend, Liv and her parents allow her to stay at their place and take her to a vacation in Greece. There she meets Freddie, a bartender, and decides to do something with her life. She joins Freddie and settles into her life as a bar-girl as well.
One day, she meets William Cottingdale – who has had quite a different upbringing from her, but is learning to find his own feet, just like her. There’s an instant attraction between them – she eventually leaves her job at the bar and moves in with William. Unexpectedly she becomes pregnant, and they decide to move back to his parents, in England, where they can start a family.

Faced with a new family, who are so different from hers, the pressures of being a new mum at a very young age, William’s increasing work hours, Vicky suddenly finds herself falling short of all expectations around her. One day, she’s had enough – she leaves her son, Theo, with William and his parents and doesn’t come back till about 6 months later, when she realises that it’s too late.

Told from the viewpoints of Vicky and Caro (a lady who happens to be one of Vicky’s many employers), this was a decent read.
Caro herself is dealing with major issues pertaining to her daughter India, and barely gets to see her grandchildren. Yet, she manages to give Vicky support, comfort and advice which helps her take some very important decision, vis-à-vis her future.

A well-written story about the various challenges we have to deal with, with regards to certain members of our families.
It takes only one dysfunctional person to make the entire family suffer life-long consequences.

3.5/5 for me

I don’t even know how to start this review as I know my words will never do it justice. Each time I pick one of Kerry’s books up, I wonder how it is going to top her previous book as each and every one I’ve read has absolutely blown me away and warmed me to the core.
There is so much to a Kerry Fisher novel, I’ve laughed, I gasped, and boy did I cry with this one, but more than anything I have felt like I was a part of this story due to the fact that Kerry’s characters are just so “real” and easy to get “in touch” with. The emotion involved with ALL the characters in this book absolutely shines throughout and you can’t help feeling for each and everyone of them. I just can’t praise Kerry’s books highly enough and my reviews will never ever be able to really show how much I enjoy them.
Thank you so much Kerry for yet another fantastic novel

When Vicky’s mom misses her graduation, she’s had enough and distances herself. After all, her mom has remarried and is busy raising her new children and Vicky feels overlooked. So, she takes the opportunity to join her college friend’s family for a carefree summer in Corfu before deciding what’s next in life.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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Vicky returns to England eventually with a baby on the way and no money, career path, or plan to re-connect with her mother. She and her boyfriend, William, move in with his parents and attempt to build a life together, but nothing works out. When their son, Theo, is 2 years old, Vicky makes a life-altering decision that will impact her family - the one she has created - for years to come.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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Throughout the book, Vicky navigates her own tricky feelings about motherhood and her relationships with two “mother figures”: a strenuous one with her boyfriend’s mother, Barbara, and a loving one with Caro, a woman who owns a Airbnb-style property Vicky manages in a dark season of her life.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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Will she ever bury the hatchet and try to patch things up with her own mother?⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
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I love character-driven, family dramas, but this one was hit-or-miss. Kerry Fisher really “gets” complex female relationships, but there were too many plot twists and just as things were coming together for Vicky, the book ended abruptly. I was left wanting more. (2.5/5 stars)

We want our parents to be perfect, fall within the limits of our expectations, without realizing they are humans first and like any human, they make mistakes.

I have been at fault for having this expectation and judging my parents for being humans. Took me a very long time to understand.

This book by author Kerry Fisher foretold one such story where a mother Vicky Hall left her 7 month old child, not for the lack of love, but because her past dictated her actions.

An innocent girl of 16, who needed her mother, yet couldn’t seem to understand, ran from life, found herself pregnant and entrenched in a posh family which led to a lack of confidence and security, and her every thought reflected that. She had to leave. This was Vicky Hall’s life journey, a journey of a mother as she met the other mothers.

Having read a couple of this author’s books, I knew I would get to know the human nature intimately. This story gave me an an insight into a girl’s outlook, woman’s mind, and a mother’s heart. The story resonated with me as I had been that girl Vicky. The journey felt familiar in some ways. Her thoughts echoed in my mind.

Kerry’s writing had that magnetic quality which kept pulling me even when I went off to sleep. I knew the first I would do was complete the book. The story had tears and joys, regrets and gratitude, losses and second chances.

Vicky Hall was not emotive, she kept her feelings close, but she had a deep well of love within her for her son even when she didn’t know how to show it. The author’s talent in her words was seen in the strength of how she showed me the reasons without alienating me from the main character.

It was a story which had to be read, we might not agree with her decisions but we would surely understand them. The author made sure that. A beautiful story.

I’m very greatful to Bookouture and Netgalley for allowing me to read this book pre-release date.

Vicky always felt she wasn’t as loved by her mother as her two younger siblings, so when mom didn’t attend her graduation, she wrote her off. While in Greece she met William, ended up pregnant and both were forced to live with his parents until they’d saved enough for their own home. Vicky didn’t feel she was doing a good job as a mother and Barbara, her mother-in-law confirmed that on a daily basis. So on the Christmas Day, when her son was two, Vicky left and never came back.

To me this seemed like it was several episodes of Dr. Phil mashed together and in all of them none of their issues were resolved. Some of the characters were very hard to like and others were difficult to understand. I didn’t get Vicky’s attitude about her child or even her own mother. It was very hard to relate to these relationships.

The story, however, is told in a compelling fashion with lots of emotion. The last place that Vicky landed had two very caring characters, Caro, the mother and Fergus. Caro’s emotions made the most sense while her husband’s did not.

This novel is well written, grabs the reader by the shoulders and teaches them a lesson about motherhood.

Kerry Fisher wrote another emotional story that tugs at your heartstrings. At first, I didn’t think I was going to be able to like Vicki Hall at all; her choices at the beginning of the book went against everything I value. I found her whiny, entitled and very selfish. However, by the end of the book I warmed up to her quite a bit.

Caro was a great character. I could relate to her a lot more since I am closer to her in age than I am to Vicki. I loved how Caro and her husband Gilbert worked through all the sadness and heartbreak together and how they communicated with each other. No family is perfect and they were no exception.

There were such heartwarming moments in this book. I did shed tears, I raged at Vicki, I loathed that awful woman Barbara and India, adored Caro, Fergus, and Theo. Kerry Fisher understands people so well and develops relatable and interesting characters. I am a huge fan of hers after reading this book, it is the second one I read by her and it did not disappoint.

Loved it!!! When I got to the end, I shouted NOOOOOOO!!! (In my head, not out loud.) I couldn't believe it was over. I want to continue on with the family and find out what happens with Vicky and if India ever ends the drama. For a story that I loved so much, I disliked many of the characters. Their horribleness just added to the story. Vicky was hard to like at first. I wished I could have learned more about Vicky's mom or got her perspective of what was happening. All we got was Vicky's side. I wished Vicky would have stood up to Barbara. She was Theo's mom and should have put her foot down. Vicky always ran away when things got hard. Eventually, she was able to become the mom that Theo needed. India was simply horrible. She needed everything her way. She treated her mother awful. I'm not sure how she blamed everything on her mom and forgave her dad. If I was Caro, I would have offered to pack her bags when she threatened to move to New Zealand. She only wanted her parents when she needed help. I loved Caro. She wanted the best for her family and seemed like a sweet woman. She was the perfect person to help Vicky and Theo. Fergus was wonderful with Theo. I would love to stay at Applewood Farm. The cottages sounded like a great place for a vacation, especially since you could bring your dog.

Definitely recommend the book. I couldn't put it down. I love how it alternated between Caro and Vicky. The book focuses on family relationships, the good, the bad and the ones you wouldn't mind strangling (India). I look forward to reading more books by the author.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Bookouture through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

Mother and daughter relationships are hard. And many times it is not until we grow up, that we understand the reasoning behind some of our mothers’ decisions. But still, we hold our mother to a higher standard many times, demanding perfection from her.

The Mother I Could Have Been describes a fraught relationship between Vicky Hall and her own mother, which then develops into her never believing she is good enough to be first in anyone’s life. The book starts with her mother telling her she cannot make it to her graduation because her half-sister is in the hospital. Hurt and disappointed, Vicky decides to spend that summer in Greece where she meets William Cottingdale. She unexpectedly becomes pregnant and they decide to move back to England and start a family. However, one day she leaves her child with him and his parents and never comes back.

The book was written from two perspectives, Vicky and Caro. Caro ends up employing Vicky and helps her with her own crises while dealing with her own.

Vicky was so relatable to me. When my first child was born, I was quite young and my mother-in-law was extremely overbearing. She would often tell me I was a bad mother just because I was not doing something the way she thought I should. When I read where Vicky’s mother-in-law, Barbara made Theo, Vicky’s son, call her ‘Mamma’ instead of Vicky, I had to stop reading for a while because I started to remember my own troubles with that. I never left my children but, honestly, I was able to understand why Vicky felt like she had no other choice.

I adored Caro. She was not perfect by a long shot, but she loved her children, Fergus and India. I found myself feeling quite sorry for her when I saw how India treated her. I do love how well she related to Vicky. I do not think Vicky would have been able to handle what she went through if not for Caro and Fergus.

I tried this book because I am also a Jodi Picoult fan and seeing her name in the blurb made me curious. Now I can honestly say I am a fan of Kerry Fisher and would definitely love to read more of her work.

Violence: None
Sexual Content: Very mild
Profanities: Very mild
Religious Themes: None

I wish to thank NetGalley for allowing me to read an advanced copy of this book.
This isn't my usual genre but I thought I would give it a go. To start with I didn't like Vicky at all. She is so hard done by and finds it easier to walk away than actually have a conversation with the people in her life she thinks are criticising her. In fact she got on my nerves so much that I put the book away for a week and started another one. Finally I came back to it and once Caro and her family were introduced I read into the night finishing it before work this morning. I cried throughout much of the second half because it was so real. Haven't we all fallen out with family members though most of us haven't walked away from our mothers or toddlers. Or had a row with someone to find they had died before we could put things right. That's why I never go to sleep on an argument. At least Vicky found out that the problems were mostly to do with her self-esteem or lack of it but to say anymore would give away too much. As for India! Boy what a bitch. And her husband Andy. A snivelling, controlling little s*&t.
This was such a great read. So heart-wrenching. Loved it.

Mother/Daughter relationships

Vicky left home in 2009 to go to Corfu. It is now 2018 and she has not seen her mother since leaving home. Caro is struggling with an unappreciative daughter, who lives down the road, but might as well be in a different country. Two adults, two families, two perspectives.

Vicky felt unloved by her mother, so when she discovers she is pregnant she is thrilled, and sets about building a perfect family with her boyfriend. Only things don’t go quite as she hopes.

Caro has two adult children, plus grandchildren. Her son works in the family business, whilst her daughter seems to spend her time finding fault with her mother.

Vicky enters Caro’s life; can they help each other to be the mothers they want to be?

A fascinating look at relationships, and expectations. The characters are very true to life and fully believable. There’s also a great twist.

4*s from me as it was a great look at relationships from two different directions, but a tough read emotionally. Recommended for both mothers and daughters!

Tolstoy wrote in Anna Karenina that 'All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.' Tolstoy's observation boldly defines the theme and narrative of Kerry Fisher's new novel. Vicky, Caro, Barbara, their partners and children create the feeling of desperate need for family reconciliations.

Initially, Vicky struck me as stubborn, but her ongoing situation broke my heart. Vicky's son, Theo, is a boy who needs unconditional love, safety, and stability. These basic needs eluded him and his mother. Caro, a mother of grown children, shelters Vicky but cannot appease the demands of her daughter, India. KF's story spreads collateral damage across many connected family members. The tragedy that seemed unavoidable kept me reading well into the night. All the characters' redeeming qualities offered some hope that uniting families might be possible.

The story is suspenseful and filled with the stuff that made me think of my stubbornness with family going back to my childhood. Fisher offers insights into how to deal with childhood bruises that become insurmountable grievances in our adult lives.

Thank you, Kerry Fisher, NetGalley, and Bookouture for this chance to read this ARC. The book publication is November 22nd.

Vicky is having a hard time connecting with her 2 year old son Theo. According to her interfering mother-in-law, she can’t do anything right. So one day she walks out of Theo’s life and doesn’t return. Following devastating news six years later, Theo is back in Vicky’s life and she is having to learn how to be a mother again. Can she trust herself to get it right this time?

A thought provoking read. What would you do? A good family drama which was a quick and easy read.

When Vicky Hall’s mother remarries and soon after has a son and then a daughter Vicky thinks her mother loves her two babies more than she does her. She feels like a cuckoo in the nest. She leaves home as soon as she possibly can and never contacts her mother or her half brother and sister again. Her step father will at last be happy, not having to support someone else’s child. The straw that finally breaks the camel’s back is when her mother does not attended her graduation ceremony when Vicky is twenty-one. That severs her from her family forever.
She and her friends spend a glorious summer in Corfu, but still she soon feels that she is in the way. She decides to leave them behind as well. She gets a job as a waitress in a taverna and decides to stay on as the season begins to show signs of closing down altogether. Quite by chance she meets a guy who is just visiting the beach. He is called William and he charms Vicky into his bed. He is simply gorgeous and it is the first time she has ever felt valued just because she is herself. Their relationship develops beyond a holiday romance and soon she finds that she is pregnant.
William takes her back to his family home in the UK. They decide to stay there until they can save enough money to buy a home of their own. Their son is born and named Theo. Vicky feels complete at last. William’s mother is a very willing babysitter. In fact in time she becomes Theo’s favourite person in the whole world. Theo even learns to call her Mama, and flat out refuses to go to Vicky at all. Once again all of those feelings of not feeling good enough return and when Theo is two she decides to leave the house that she once thought of as a temporary home to give herself time to think. She reasons that Theo does not like her and that he would be better off without her. She never returns.
She cannot believe it. She loves her son with all her heart, but once again she has been rejected. This is the story of what happens when she reinvents herself for fourth time.
I think Vicky definitely suffers from low self-esteem. She is not very confident and is not equipped for long term relationships. She is always too quick to give in and feels the judgement of others in a very negative way. In time I stopped feeling sorry for her but just then she surprised me. To some extent she was the architect of her own misfortunes. With maturity and more support Vicky flourished and at last found her feet in a very competent way. I did not take to Barbara, Will’s mother at all. She was interfering and manipulative. I did not trust her or her husband. I cannot talk any more about other characters because that would spoil the story for you. The storytelling was fluid and well-paced and I enjoyed the last third of the story more than the first two thirds. That is when Vicky starts her new life and some amazing new characters are introduced, characters that grew to love and support Vicky.
I received a complimentary copy of this novel from publisher Bookouture through my membership of NetGalley. Thank you for my copy sent in return for an honest and unbiased review. It’s an easy and pleasant read and my review reflects this fact. It’s a 3.5* from me.

I wish to thank Net Galley and Bookouture for allowing me to read an advanced copy of this book. I have voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Oh my goodness what a story!. I was not expecting this one and I absolutely was drawn into it from the very beginning.

This is a stunning story of family division, estrangements, loss, and dysfunction on so many levels. The story begins with disappointments and family struggles. It moves into abandonment crisis, and then continues with miscommunication between family members and steps toward recovery. Kerry Fisher covers it all in a brilliantly written combination of several stories in one that has you breathless as you turn the pages. Don’t expect to figure this one out. There are so many twists and turns it is an amazing story. I highly recommend this one.

Rating: 4.5 stars

Thank you Netgalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

I could not put this down! Now I did go into this thinking it was a thriller novel, because thats the category I found it in. I soon found out it was more of just a emotional fiction kinda thing but I absolutely loved it.

I loved the characters and the depth of the story. I read a few reviews saying that it was too drawn out, but I have to disagree, I think Fisher has a brilliant way of making things flow eloquently. I loved Caro and her layer of plot that she brought, and I loved how her story paralleled to Vicky's. I think Vicky was frustrating sometimes, but I guess that was the vibe that Fisher was going for.

I felt all the range of emotions reading this book: sadness (I did cry), joy, frustration, rage, hope, love. And that is due to the beautiful writing. The only letdown for me is that it ended too quickly! Slight spoiler but I would have loved to see Freddy's reaction to everything and was actually disappointed that it wasn't included.

I will definitely be reading more from this author!

Overall this is a good read. Parts of this story are sad and I laughed at bits as well. The story is thought provoking and kept me reading. I felt though that it could have been a bit shorter.

Thank you to Netgalley for my copy.