The description of this memoir is incredibly compelling, but it only took me a few chapters to realize that this book wasn't for me. Don't get me wrong—the basic story here is so interesting, and as a queer woman I was curious to see how Wizenberg would explore the complexities of identity and desire. My first nonfiction workshop professor always reminded her classes of V.S. Pritchett's warning: "It's all in the art. You get no credit for living." The way this story is written, the art of the thing, just didn't sing for me. This could totally be a me problem and not an issue with the writing or the book itself, but this seems to be a book written for the kind of woman Wizenberg used to be: presumptively straight, and curious for a peek into a different kind of life. If that describes you, this may be exactly the book you're looking for.

Unusual memoir. At 36 the author finds herself (presently for descriptive purposes only) married and with a small baby. Happy in her marriage, financially stable, happy with her domesticity as well. Called up for jury duty Molly finds herself hopelessly and irrevocably attracted to Nora a lawyer and she cannot get her out of her mind. It is not a momentary feeling of lust but one that seems to take over Molly's entire thought process.

The story proceeds how Molly (and her husband) have to handle this new intrusion in their life, come to terms with it (which they do), and proceed with their separate lives, causing as little disruption to the lives of their child and those around them.

It seems all very civilized, a minimal amount of heartbreak over a failure of a marriage but it
seems a bit strange all the same. It is a memoir which feels like a bit of therapy is going on with the writing itself, expunging itself as it were and on the other hand gives a clearer perspective of how harsh it is to have a gender identity crisis at the age of 36.

Unusual reading, got me thinking.

I rarely ever read memoirs but I was extremely attracted to the premise of this one. The writing is honest, raw, the story slightly messy, but admittedly so by the author, and I think that only made the narrative feel that much more authentic.

I really enjoyed this book. How can someone not realize they are bi-sexual until they are in their 30s? Seems like a stretch, but it is explained so well and you really understand where Molly is coming from. I love memoirs that really make me think and question things and this book did exactly that.

This memoir is so open and transparent that it can be difficult in parts to read. Yet, as a reader, I never lost empathy for Molly. I suspect some readers may be frustrated with the decisions that she makes, but I admired her refusal to live a life that wasn't right for her and her bravery in creating one that was.

Molly Wizenberg had been married for eight years and had an infant daughter with her husband when she was summoned to jury duty. Molly becomes infatuated with one of the lawyers on the case but she is a woman. Molly becomes increasingly confused as she can’t seem to get the lawyer out of her mind. She communicates how she’s feeling to her husband, Brandon. They cry together and agree to communicate openly with each other about whatever Molly is feeling, eventually leading to an open marriage. The memoir follows Molly as she begins to explore who she is becoming in her mid-late thirties and coming to terms with her sexuality.

I loved reading about Brandon and Molly. It was like when a couple of a friend of a friend breaks up and you want to know what happened. This memoir shares all details of the ins and outs of Molly’s relationships with Brandon and her other partners. She’s extremely transparent about her process of healing and her struggles. She delves into what it means to be a mother who is trying to figure out her sexuality and explains her journey with clarity. I almost felt like I was reading her diary at times and I loved how open she was about her experiences. This is a great memoir about the evolution of self and accepting who you are

I featured this title in a nonfiction roundup and will provide the details directly to the publisher in the next round of this review process.

I enjoyed this memoir of Molly's quest to find herself when, in midlife with a husband and child, she found herself unexplicably attracted to a woman. I thought her story was interesting, and appreciated the references to research and literature that broke up the narrative and gave an objective voice in the writing. She wrote this only a few years after it happened, so in some ways it felt like reading her journal as she worked through what was going on, but due to that closeness it also made me feel like I was there, experiencing the nervousness of a first date and the all-consuming overthinking that comes with a crush. Thank you to Netgalley and Abrams Press for the advance digital copy!

Molly Wizenberg tells her story of coming out when she was married to her husband Brandon. She is a memoirist by trade, so her writing seems seamless and flows very well throughout the book.

When Molly is in her mid-thirties she is serving jury duty when she finds she has an attraction to a female attorney on the case. Even when the trial end, Molly cannot get this woman out of her mind. She is honest with her husband, and they are both very emotional during this conversation. This leads to therapy, trying an open marriage, and inevitably the demise of their marriage.

While she a writes a solid narrative, however, I never felt that we got all of her in this book. At times I thought it just skimmed the surface or maybe the prose was just a little superficial.

I understand it is her story to tell, and it was good, but when I read a memoir, I want to feel I have a complete understanding of this person. If you are fans of Glennon Doyle’s Untamed, this might a good comparable read.

Thank you NetGalley and Abrams Publishing for an Advanced Reader’s Copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

The Fixed Stars was another memoir and her writing was just so beautiful and poetic at times. This was a story about Molly who ends up falling in love with a woman while married with a child and the impact that it has on her life (trying not to give away what that impact is). I think this is almost like an adult “coming of age” book and I found her brutal honesty comforting. This is also the first time someone has explained gender non-binary in a way I could understand and I really appreciated that!

At age 36, married to a man and mother to a toddler, Molly Wizenberg found herself inexplicably drawn to a female attorney. She tried and failed to return to the life she knew, but something inside her had changed forever. The Fixed Stars is a thought-provoking account of coming out, learning to co-parent a young child after a divorce, and discovering that the trajectory of our lives is rarely as certain as we’d like to believe

LOVED
+ This being my first taste of Wizenberg’s work, I found myself completely enamoured with her writing style. There’s something whimsical about her turns of phrase, something luscious about the way she ponders on the events that led her here, that makes gripping even the seemingly mundane.
+ Some memoirs feel like sitting with a friend over dinner and listening attentively as they share with you their story. Reading The Fixed Starts felt like being inside Molly Wizenberg’s head. I felt privy to something intimate, the inner workings of a woman’s reflections on her long-term marriage, the conflicting emotions of motherhood and subsequent struggles with her mental health. It speaks to Wizenberg’s strength of self that she is able to lay herself bare to this degree—the only way a story so deeply personal could be done justice.
+ Rather than a linear account of a series of events, this book is a collection of moments, like individual stars that line up to create a stunning constellation; do not go in expecting a straightforward memoir. Like the writing style, this may not suit every reader.

THOUGHTS
+ This is a new favorite of mine, and if I have any minor criticism is that it ended a bit abruptly, but not to an extent that took away from the fullness of the narrative in any way.
+ There’s this idea we’re fed as children, that when we grow up we’ll know ourselves. Surely, at 30 years old, we’ll be fully formed people, and we will never again need to wonder who we are, and what we want. It is both frightening and refreshing to hear from a woman who only well into adulthood, through the self-reflection brought on by her newfound exploration of queerness, began to feel that she’d found her true self.
+ Though discussions on sexual orientation have become less taboo in recent years, this memoir dives into difficult topics as Wizenberg questions how her story fits into the accepted “born this way” narrative, and brings forth criminally overlooked research on why that convenient tale does not apply to everyone, especially as it examines the particularly fluid nature of female sexuality.

Thank you to netgalley.com for allowing me to read an ARC of The Fixed Stars. This memoir begins with Molly Wizenberg receiving a jury summons, an event that indirectly changes the course of her marriage and life. Molly always considered herself to be straight—until she became infatuated with the female lawyer in the trial in which she was serving as a juror. The memoir details Molly’s exploration of her newfound attraction towards women and other “non-men” and what this means for herself as a wife, as a mother, and as a person.

This memoir is strikingly honest and vulnerable. The reader will not agree with all of Molly’s choices and may actually scorn them, yet Wizenberg lays them out here to the world. The memoir is a testament to how easy it is to surprise ourselves with who we become and the multitudes in ourselves. I appreciated the incorporation of quotes from literature, nonfiction, scientific research and theory, and news that helped Wizenberg to understand herself and I think also allow the reader to become more comfortable with their own contradictions. The memoir also reminds the reader that heartbreak may be necessary to make it to the place we need to be, that there is no normal, and that we can be what no one expected us to be.

I would recommend this memoir to anyone who is interested in reading about self-discovery, particularly in regards to sexuality. Wizenberg discloses an experience of sexuality alternative to the “born this way” narrative that became mainstream in the conversation around LGBTQ+ rights, and indeed expresses concern about how her story could harm those who have benefited from this narrative. However, she also highlights the ways an inattention to women’s sexuality has obscured sexual fluidity. With her story of self-discovery, she also provides an introduction to sexual fluidity, both within and between people.

4 stars — I enjoyed this book but I do think that Wizenberg relied a bit too much on the words of other people in forming her story. Her biggest moments of self-discovery often involve the words of another writer, which suggests in some ways Wizenberg has not reached a point to provide an “aha” moment herself about her experience. Some of her descriptions of the people in her life feel too revealing when the events she is describing did not happen too long ago. I hope that she received permission to lay this information out there. There is also a section that actively misgenders someone, although they are being talked about in the past, and I hope this was done with permission of the person.

Thank you NetGalley and Abrams Press for the free ARC. I have been a fan of Molly Wizenberg for, it turns out, like 10+ years. I was so excited to get to read this book early and it didn't disappoint. She writes so beautifully about food and relationships and that transfers so well to motherhood and sexuality. Even though I am straight and not a mother, I related to so many things in this book (I am, however, divorced). So many of her words just brought me to tears. I couldn't stop reading it, though, and needed to get to the end to find out what happened. I did appreciate that she acknowledges the privilege she has as a white middle-class woman. I want to give this to everyone I know to let them know that whether they are struggling with marriage, divorce, motherhood, or sexuality, they are not alone.

I received an ARC copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This is a compelling memoir. The writing is intimate and raw, at times even bordering on uncomfortable, but that doesn't take away from how engaging it is. My only real gripe is how suddenly it ended. It left me hanging. There is so much honesty and so much emotion (love, grief, fear) within these pages that it overwhelms you and makes you want to write your own memoir in hopes that your words can be half as beautiful as Wizenberg's.

"I'd wanted so much to have a story that behaved, but instead I have a self." The Fixed Stars by Molly Wizenberg.

In her incredibly vulnerable and intimate memoir, Molly Wizenberg outlines her path to discovering a deeper, truer sense of herself, in many aspects of her life, but primarily in terms of her sexuality. She is 36 years old, married to her husband Brandon, a mother, when she is called to jury duty and has an immediate and intense attraction to the female defense attorney on the case. This experience is the catalyst for profound life changes that unfold over time.

This book is all kinds of beautiful things. First, Wizenberg writes with such clear prose. She pulls you into her memories, and has a light way of bringing in poetic touches that linger. I loved the way she wove in the imagery related to constellations and stars, her "fixed stars" being her daughter and husband, and then I am sure, also her new partner, Ash.

This memoir makes you wonder about the things we think of as immutable aspects of ourselves, and perhaps how there are vast territories within us that we have not explored or even known are there. Maybe the things that we've always thought defined us, comprising our "essence," are only stories, stories that can shift and change and move towards a different ending if we allow them to? What is constant about living?

This is a beautiful journey to be able to witness, about gender fluidity, self-discovery, motherhood, marriage, creativity and living.

Don't miss this one - and while you're at it, you shouldn't miss Wizenberg's first two books, especially if you enjoy cooking and stellar food writing.

4 1/2 stars

I’ve been a reader of Molly’s blog, Orangette, for at least 10 years. Through her thoughtful and elegant writing, Brandon and June have felt like family. This book tells the most recent chapter in their lives And the result is honest, emotional, and cathartic. A joy to read!

ARC from the publisher vid NetGalley, but the opinions are my own.

I enjoy reading memoirs and found this one particularly unique, steadfast, and engaging. I can relate to the idea that there is something in your life that is stagnant, boring, and uninspiring. There is a routine to being married, having a job, and having kids. It's a rut and it can be draining. During quarantine I've often asked myself what really brings me joy and helps me recharge my batteries - outside of my marriage and my children?

I think this memoir brings awareness to fluidity of our sexualness (don't think that's a real word but I'm using it anyways!). Sometimes it isn't about fitting into a box and definitively saying, "yes I am gay." or "yes I am straight." I feel you can be drawn to a person, their vibes, their energy and it has nothing to do with a prescribed sexual orientation.

I enjoyed reading this memoir because I think as women we all struggle with our identities, our emotions, who we are outside of the house and family we built. This raw reminder from Wizenberg and her tale to discover her real identity is a powerful journey we women sometimes need.

I’d like to thank Net Galley, Abrams Press, and Ms. Molly Wizenberg for an ARC of this book.

I first Molly Wizenberg via her cooking blog, Orangette. Her recipes were always accompanied by beautifully written essays about her life. First as a single lady, then meeting and dating her husband, opening a restaurant, having a child.
Of course this was an edited version of her life, like we all know social media (& longform memoir) is.
In the best parts of The Fixed Stars, the author gives us a deeper look at what was really going on (although she rarely mentions the blog at all, which was strange - it’s what her writing career has been built on). It covers the fact that she didn’t even want to open a restaurant, her ambivalence about motherhood, followed by postpartum depression. And then, her shifting sexual preference, the dissolution of her marriage, and trying to find herself during all that.

However, there was quite a lot of...well, what read like therapy. She is working through her sexuality, fluidity, attraction, which was moving and interesting...but as the book continues she keeps circling around to the same things. It felt like these are issues she hasn’t resolved. Which on a personal level, makes sense, but as a book it’s not satisfying.

All told, the writing was beautiful and much of the book is an interesting dive into fluidity and the necessary change of continuing to grow and change...it just could have used a bit more editing.

Having read some of Molly's other work, I was intrigued when I saw The Fixed Stars. I had no idea her personal life had changed so much in the past years.

It all starts with a chance encounter during jury duty - which leaves Molly questioning who she is attracted to, and then follows the aftermath. Molly really opens up in terms of her relationship with Brandon, her then husband, and what follows as she discovers who she is... not only in terms of sexuality, but in realizing other parts of herself that were less of a focus due to restaurant openings and becoming a mother. Molly also reflects on how different relationships and events in her life shaped who she is now.

If you are looking for a raw, open narrative of self-discovery with a focus on LBGTQIA identity, this is a great read for you.

Thank you to Netgalley and Abrams Press for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

#TheFixedStars #NetGalley

This compact memoir describes candidly how the author discovered, in her 30s and married to a man, that she was something other than straight. It balances her inner experience with descriptions of the choices that she and her family then made and occasional references to literature and research about sexuality.

The text is spare, unsentimental, and remarkably honest. The author interrogates and tries to hold herself accountable to the reader to explain why and how this change or omission or suppression could have occurred.

I think the book has great value in the murky, gray space of queer literature because it refuses labels while trying them on for size. I wish the author had waited longer to write this as the experience is fresh. At times I felt it was too academic where there must have been rich and informative emotional experience to explore.