I mentioned in my review of Holly Bourne’s How Do You Like Me Now? that I fell for the Bridget-Jones-esque surface, only to be surprised by the hidden depths of desperation. You know that saying, ‘Fool me once…’!

Pretending completely blindsided me.

As the book started, I found myself instantly irritated with April and her constant obsession with how she is perceived by others. The man-hating spiels seemed over-the-top in their venomous misandry and, when April takes on the persona of ‘perfect’ Gretel, her tips and rules are actually quite painful to read – the sarcasm so bitter it bites off the page. I was fooled into thinking this would be a romcom of errors, where the heroine would make a series of silly slip-ups before falling gracefully into a romantic relationship with Mr Right.

Wrong.

Slowly, as the story progresses, Holly Bourne reveals the cracks in April’s cynical facade. We see a woman who has been through a serious personal trauma, and who now deals with other people’s traumas day in, day out, to the point of burnout. The constant drip of sexual violence and domestic abuse incidents that April is exposed to via her job has taken its toll on her mental health and wellbeing, and she is clearly not coping, no matter how much she and Gretel think she is.

At this point I will throw in the obligatory content warning for rape. The depiction is not graphically detailed, but the emotional representation is raw, authentic and absolutely awful. And then there are also the emails April receives at work, dealing with all forms of violence and abuse. The misandry is a side effect of this toxic barrage and April has simply lost sight of the tools to deal with her feelings in a healthy way. Enter Gretel.

Gretel allows April to shift her harshly critical, judgemental filter from its internal focus – ripping apart her every thought and action – to an external focus on the rest of the world. Neither is particularly healthy, but then, healing is a process and Gretel is the defence mechanism that is easing April through the first steps. It’s just unfortunate that Mr Might-Be-Right turns up while Gretel is still deployed and the real April is still in hiding from the world.

The story is told through a mixture of April’s point of view, text and email exchanges, and sections of Gretel’s “advice column” on how to deal with romance and not being yourself.

The slow build-up of lies and pain is nerve-racking to read, and the cathartic release of tension when events finally came to a head actually felt quite cleansing. I especially liked that the author resisted tying things up neatly with a perfect happy ending, instead sticking to the realistic view that serious mental and emotional trauma takes more than a bit of love and romance to resolve.

Much deeper and more emotionally wrenching than the average contemporary romance, Pretending has deep emotional undercurrents and speaks strongly to those who have experienced or witnessed male-on-female aggression and oppression, in a way that manages to be both lightly entertaining and heartbreaking at the same time.





While it’s easy to get carried away, make sure you spend some time looking out for yourself. Dating can be exhausting,, even if it’s going well, so get well-rehearsed in the empowering act of self-care. Run yourself a bubble bath; put on a facemask; light a candle; treat yourself to some cashmere-covered stationery and write lists of everything you feel grateful for. You deserve it. I mean, there’s no significant trauma with resulting long-lasting mental-health issues that can’t be fixed with a sheet mask and writing you’re glad it was sunny today in calligraphy.

– Holly Bourne, Pretending


Review by Steph Warren of Bookshine and Readbows blog

Trigger warnings: Sexual assault & trauma

I'm a huge fan of Holly Bourne's YA novels, as well as her adult debut 'How Do You Like Me Now?', so I couldn't wait to get my hands on her second adult novel, 'Pretending'. Educational , yet hilarious, Holly has written another relatable book with an important message about sexual assault.

The story of 'Pretending' is told through the eyes of April, a young woman who has been sexually assaulted in the past, as she responds and attempts to process her trauma. Declaring her hatred of all men, April decides that she will get revenge by pretending to be the perfect, problem-free Gretel in order to gain and hold power in her next relationship.

I really enjoyed this book and would highly recommend it due to its important messages, and the fact that I like the author's writing style. The ending was a tad disappointing, but this didn't detract from a great book.

Pretending – Holly Bourne
Oh Holly Bourne, how I love thee, let me count the ways. Honestly, I was already convinced that Holly Bourne is nothing sort of a genius. She’s long been one of my go-to authors and Pretending, her second journey into adult fiction, is definitely up there with one of my favourites of the year.

April is kind, pretty, and relatively normal – yet she can’t seem to get past date five. Every time she thinks she’s found someone to trust, they reveal themselves to be awful, leaving her heartbroken. And angry.
If only April could be more like Gretel.
Gretel is exactly what men want – she’s a Regular Everyday Manic Pixie Dream Girl Next Door With No Problems.
The problem is, Gretel isn’t real. And April is now claiming to be her.
As soon as April starts ‘being’ Gretel, dating becomes much more fun – especially once she reels in the unsuspecting Joshua.
Finally, April is the one in control, but can she control her own feelings? And as she and Joshua grow closer, how long will she be able to keep pretending?
Ok, before we go any further, let’s take a moment to go through some trigger warnings – I’d hate to recommend something that would upset someone. This book features a sexual health charity which deals with sexual assaults, our main character is dealing with trauma from an assault and of course, she is also catfishing someone which could be difficult for you – so you know be aware.
With that taken care of, let me give you a few reasons this is a book that is worthy of your time.
 
• Holly Bourne knows how to write women in all their complexities
• She also handles difficult topics with sensitivity
• Pretending covers important and difficult subjects without being preachy, making light or minimalisig but still being fun and engaging.

Basically, Holly Bourne has produced yet another incredible, hard hitting and thought provoking read. I’m adding whatever comes next straight to my TBR.

April wants to be more like Gretal, but Gretal isn’t real. She is an alter ego who every man wants. When ‘Gretal’ meets the unsuspecting Joshua, what happens when feelings intense and real life comes into perspective. How will Joshua react when April becomes in control and Gretal disappears?

A romantic comedy with a twist, Pretending is a powerful, emotional and pretty hilarious novel about modern day life. My first novel by Holly Bourne had me so engrossed I couldn’t put it down, reading all 448 pages within 48 hours. I related a lot to April, all the thoughts she has I’m sure every woman dating in their 20s/30s has also had. It’s a tough old dating world out there. Gretal, though, she irritated me to no end! When you read this one, you’ll see what I mean. I loved the premise to this book, so unique and special. Exploring themes of sexual violence and mental health issues, we learn through April how important it is to be true to yourself and how your friends are everything you ever truly need.

I’m now a loyal Holly Bourne fan and I can’t wait to read more from her.

What a beautifully raw and honest book by a wonderful author. She is quite literally on my top list of authors and all of her books are an automatic purchase. I was hooked from the first line of the book "I hate men" (don't we all girl). But this is a wonderfully written story of sexual objectification and abuse and self worth, the main character April is completely lovable and her story makes you feel as though you're a part of it.

The only thing that was disappointing was the lack of supporting character hype. Lots of side characters but no real filling to their stories or their lives, we learn snippets about their past but not enough for them to feel solidified and a real part of the story.

Other than that I loved it I really did and it will not put me off reading her other books - theres still a few I haven't read so thats where I'll be heading next!

DNF. I really wanted to like this book but I just found it really hard to get into and I just couldn't connect with any of the characters whatsoever. It had such premise but in the end it just let me down.

Holly Bourne's writing style is incredibly real, witty, sharp, on-the-nose, and incredibly emotive. Pretending, her second adult novel, tells us the tale of April and her forays into online dating, as well as her disillusionment with the quest for the 'cool girl'. A little like the 'cool girl' of Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl, April devises a cool girl who's every bit as fake as Amy is, Gretel. Just your regular everyday manic pixie dream girl next door with no problems, Gretel is able to hide all of the messy, real parts of April that are weighing down her life.
I didn't finish this one. Not because it's not good - it is. It's excellent! Holly Bourne is incredibly skilled, and I really look forward to coming back to this when I'm in a better headspace. But Pretending, the first 20% at any rate, is not for the faint of heart. It's brutally honest, and while it's delivered with a light hand and a stylistic, feminist flourish that underpins the seriousness of the issues that Bourne is dealing with, it's still dealing with some pretty weighty topics. So it's excellent, that which I did read, but for me it's a book for a more cheerful, stable time, when I'm able to dedicate headspace to the nuanced and sophisticated views Bourne puts forward through her protagonist.

I didn’t enjoy this book at all although I did read it to the end but I found it quite boring - sorry not for me!

There was a 50/50 chance I was going to love Holly Bourne's new adult offering Pretending. I read one of her YA books, The Manifesto on How to Be Interesting and found it to be quite problematic but I read her first adult novel How Do You Like Me Now? and though it was fantastic. Pretending could have gone either way.

Pretending, published in April, is about April - nope, not a typo, just a weird looking sentence. April is looking for love, but she can't get past date 5 before whoever it is she's dating turning out to be an asshat. Turns out that guys don't want a girl like April. They want a Gretel - perfect pretty sexy girl-next-door Gretel with ho hang ups and no insecurities and here just for a good time. April decides to become Gretel. Like, actually, she sets up a fake dating profile and goes all in pretending to be a person she's not. Dating is much more fun as Gretel - especially once she meets Joshua. But can she keep up the pretence?

I loved it. I feel like I should say at this juncture though that this book deals heavily with issues of rape and sexual assault - in case that's a trigger for you.

I couldn't put it down and whilst it didn't get under my skin in the same way How Do You Like Me Now did - that book could have been written for me and about me I swear - I did find it to be timely and relevant and important and very very readable.

Holly Bourne writes like she's in your head - she gets it, what it's like to be a woman right now / to be in love / to be not in love / to be dating / to have a best friend / to not know what you're doing with your life. She writes it all like she gets it and its nice to read books like that - that make you feel seen and give you that 'oh me too' feeling. It's full of wry and often harsh truths about what it's like to be a woman (generally, not just on the dating scene) and whilst I didn't personally relate to this one as much, I can still totally see how people will, how it will become a book they hold aloft and say, 'this, yes, this is what I have been trying to say.'

It's a funny book in parts - darkly funny but funny nonetheless - but it's serious too. April is recovering from a trauma and that whole story line, which is a major theme throughout the book, is sensitively and intelligently done, and never used as a mechanism for driving the story forward or for kicks. it's a story that matters and it as handled as such. It teaches self acceptance and is bursting with themes of abuse and PTSD and recovery and stereotypes and cat fishing and gas-lighting and friendship and it handles all of them pretty well and it says a lot abut Bourne's writing that whilst I didn't always like April and I certainly didn't understand some of her choices, I never stopped rooting for her.

April works at a charity that deals with anything from people asking if they can get pregnant from a toilet seat to genuine appeals from rape victims and sometimes their perpetrators and I loved that side to the story. I found it so so interesting and watching how April handled that side of her life along side the aftermath of her own sexual assault was so clever - and so so moving.

I do wish the background characters were a little more developed; April is so whole and complex and real that everybody else felt flat and that's a shame because this book could have been so much richer if those other characters had been deeper but overall this book ticked a lot of boxes for me. Holly Bourne is now on the 'yes I like her' list rather than the 'hit or miss.'

After reading Hollys previous book I was excited to get stuck into this one. From the first line 'I hate men' and the dialogue after I was taken with it and finished it in two days. I loved how Holly had us questioning whether the man Amber chooses is really good enough for her and whether being nice is really enough - this book makes you reflect on your own life and is just beautiful. Highly recommend.

This book was so refreshing and I read it in one sitting. April has had many bad experiences with men so she decides to reinvent herself as Gretel and start dating the way Gretel would. This was such a great story and so honest and I'll be recommending it to everyone I know.

I love Holly Bourne, but wasn't sure about her first adult title, so was interested to see what she would do with Pretending. I'm happy to say that I very much enjoyed her new adult book!

Although it deals with a lot of hard-hitting issues, there is also a light-heartedness to it that doesn't make it feel hard to read. The overall message of the book, that being yourself is enough, is a wonderfully uplifting message.

I found myself really relating to April and her struggles throughout the book.

This is definitely a title I would recommend

I thought this book started well and I could relate to the protagonist - she felt realistic and her predicament was very modern.

However, I felt it lost pace about halfway through and I became less interested in the story.

This would make a great beach/holiday read but it lacked depth for me.

A tricky and emotive subject to tackle (rape, PTSD, relationships after trauma) but Holly Bourne packs no punches. At times uncomfortable to read if you have experienced what April has been through personally. But met head on and dealt with brutally, honestly and poignantly. This is the first book I’ve read by this author and will definitely search out more of her books. Highly recommend.

I've just finished reading #Pretending and I am in awe. Such an incredibly powerful book! Beautifully written with absolutely brilliant characters and an important message for all women. Quite simply stunning. Bravo, Holly!

I’ve now read almost every Holly Bourne book and enjoyed them all and this one was no different! This is Holly’s second adult novel and just like her young adult books it’s so incredibly real and honest (TW: for rape, abuse and ptsd)

Pretending follows April, a woman who’s pretty much given up on finding “the one” since every guy she dates never make it past the fifth one so she decides to become Gretel! The perfect woman that all men want but how long can she keep pretending for....

Since this has been the only book that’s actually held my attention in the last few weeks I think it’s pretty obvious that I loved and highly recommend it.

Unfortunately I must have been sent a faulty file for this book. At first I thought it was deliberate, there were quite a few empty pages. Sometimes it didn´t make sense that when April said "I open the message", then nothing followed regarding the email but a launch back into a different topic on the following page. I thought maybe it was deliberate but when after "Instead I had five messages from Megan:" came a couple of empty pages, I thought there might have been pictures of the emails/texts that didn´t show up. Finally, I gave up because of losing track when on page 107 April and Katy are in the office kitchen drinking coffee and the page ends with a full stop, but 108 begins with "and we finish a bottle of wine, and we can´t believe we are up this late on a school night...". I clearly missed something here and I wonder how much else I´ve missed in the first 1/4 of the book without fully realising.

I have checked other reviews for this but did not find anything so I wonder if it has to do with my tablet but since all my previous downloads were fine, I can´t really say what it was.

I will give it 4 stars for now because I don´t want to mess up the rating for a technical error and I will not share it on my Goodreads either.

This is not the first book by Holly that I have read. As always well written and emotive. Tackling subjects that most authors would not consider it is a beautiful and poignant reflection that shows one event can have massive repercussions and change you. The difficulties in dating in the 21st century and finding "the one" whilst anxiety and self doubt battle away inside. Do not think that this is a book that will drag you down but uplift you with the resilience and wit of the characters, whilst you see yourself in them.

Having loved Holly Bourne's first adult fiction novel, How do you like me now? I had high hopes for this one and I was not disappointed. The characters are so real and you find yourself agreeing with so many of their viewpoints. April has been badly treated by men and at times it can be quite upsetting to hear what she has been through. But she comes up with an interesting way to not have to deal with the ups and downs of modern dating. She creates Gretel. A much more datable version of herself. I was hooked from the first page and I didn't want it to end. Highly recommended.

I DNF this - it just didn't feel right to be reading it right now and is struggled to connect with it.
Will edit my review when I read it properly at a later date.