Cover Image: Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k Up

Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k Up

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Member Reviews

I was fortunate to receive a copy of this book to read from NetGalley.

Although I'm in my 30s and married, I could relate to a lot of the tales in this book, particularly relating to Internet dating experiences 😂
I loved the friendships between Nell and Cricket and Nell and Edward and how these developed over time during the book.
I found the last chapter quite confusing though 🙈
Plenty of laugh out loud moments in the book!

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This book is like a reassuring, comforting hug! For anyone needing a bit of reassurance that none of us have our stuff together all of the time, this is it!

Nell, in her early forties, moves back to London from the US after her engagement breaks up. She moves back in with her parents, discovers all her friends have moved on with family, kids and perfect lives full of swimming pools, yoga and quinoa baked goods!

This is the story of her first year back in London. She ends up in a flat share and through a job opportunity, strikes up a beautiful relationship with an older lady called Cricket.

There are so many things I enjoyed. The humour to start with, I genuinely laughed out loud in places. Then there are the life moments where you think "hold on, I need to do that too". There are some lovely quotes I highlighted as I went through, my favourite would be: "When life buries us under all its heartache and disappointment, think about a seed. It needs to be buried in order for it to grow." I liked the pace of this book, there is no build up to a big crescendo, it is a steady set of smaller triumphant (or not!) moments where over the course of a year, Nell begins to become more positive about her situation and others around her become more human. It really does leave you with a sigh of relief and a feeling of "it's not just me". Its very easy to look at other peoples lives and benchmark yourself negatively. We all do it.

Lastly, in the author's dedication, there was a poignant statement from Elizabeth Gilbert which I really liked... "They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes"

This is what we need to hear! We may all manage things differently, but we are all heroes in some way for managing, juggling and surviving.

Out on April 30th 2020. Thanks to @netgalley.

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This book was just what I needed during these hard times. I raced through this as I got drawn into Nell's world right from the onset. As a single female of a similar age I found it very relatable . I loved to see the developing friendship between Nell and Cricket and also that of Nell and Edward. In a time where we all have to cling on to positives I loved the 'things I'm grateful for' at the end of each chapter as it made you reflect on your own life and make you realise that there is always something every day which you can be thankful for. If you want a fun feel good read to escape into then I would definitely recommend this one. I was so sad when it came to and end and left me thinking about Nell for a few hours after.

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"Real life is messy and complicated. Sh** happens. One size doesn't fit all. Remove all the filters and the hashtags and the motivational messages and we're all just as scared and confused as each other."

The world is very upsetting and wild right now so I picked this book up for a bit of humour and I got so much more.

Nell is loveable from the start, and straight away I wanted to be her mate and I wanted to be in her life. I love it when a book can make you care about the protagonist so quickly.

I would describe this as an almost coming of age story for middle age, but then it's so endearing and I didn't expect that. I think that Potter managed to mix the exact right amount of cheesy chic lit with a story that's actually made me quite reflective of my own life and the people around me, that's surely a skill.

I've laughed, I've cried, I've got an overwhelming urge to decorate my house in a way that Cricket would be proud of me. I was really impressed with how current this book was too, it felt like Nell could jump off the page and be living in 2020 with me which added to how much I enjoyed reading it.

Honestly great. 5/5.

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Alternatively very engaging and a little repetitive (it could have done with some tighter editing perhaps), I found this book quite funny. I liked the summing up at the end of the chapters. A lighthearted read.

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Don’t be put off by the title! I really enjoyed this book, although I’m at least thirty years past the target audience age. At first I was dubious about the book, given the title, but decided to give it a go. It is a good story, and I ‘got’ Nell, and also her octogenarian friend Cricket. I love that aspect of the story, about how people of disparate ages can be great friends. It’s very true in my experience, most of my good friends are younger than me, some by at least thirty years, because we share a common hobby. It is very well written, amusing in a wry way, and also thought provoking. It’s a warning to people who might be taken in by the Instagram- perfect lives of their friends, and believe it to be the real deal.
We are taken on a roller-coaster ride through Nell’s story, as she stumbles, steadies up then gallops through the year of her life when everything changes, and not how she was expecting it to.
It’s how she deals with the lows and highs, finding a dear friend in an unexpected place, and questioning many aspects of her existing friendships, before she even gets started on ‘romance’
It is great fun, and a great read.
My only reservation is that I feel that the ‘obituary’ is superfluous. It surprised me, as it added nothing to the narrative. Hence four stars, not five. The ending was more than satisfying as it was.
I would recommend this book without hesitation.
My thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for my advance copy of this title.

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I was delighted to see Alexandra Potter on here as I have all her older books. This is a great read especially for this 40 something reader. Full of humour ( which we could all do with at the moment) yet very moving also. Nell is a great character and I especially love her relationship with Cricket. It doesn’t matter how old you are we are all just about holding our sh*t together.. This really cheered me up

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“The secret to happiness is writing a daily gratitude list” quote from the beginning of this story...
1. Tears of laughter already and only on first few pages.
2. The writing which is so good that it gives that slightly chaotic feel of someone living an unscripted life.
3. The storyline is believable and relate able.
4. That I am sure Edward is the doppelgänger of my husband.....so many house rules.
5. That Netgalley allowed me to have this copy for an unbiased review in the first week of my self- isolating due to Coronavirus.

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This is the first book that Ive read by this author and omg it's fabulous. I must say I really enjoyed reading this book and seeing how this played out. I really like this author writing style and I loved the lists of ' I'm grateful for ' that she did at the end of the chapters.


Nell is a really nice person but her life is quite all over the place at the moment. All her friends seem to be sorted with lives, husbands, children career etc.
Whereas she has just split up with her partner and anyway she now thinks she is basically a forty something f**k up as she's literally just turned it.
She doesn't get to see her friends alot either. Nell is still very grateful to thought and even though at the minute she's just renting a room and is single she's determined to make the best of it.
(NO SPOILERS).


This book goes through alot of things the usual middle age person would go through. Being married then getting divorced, our career and children and love and much more. Some parts are relatable and some not so much. But I wonder it may be an issue reading this book if you were in your early twenties may be.
I really like this author writing style and I enjoyed reading this book. This author has written this character awesome, I really loved Nell and her lists.

ARC provided in exchange for an honest review,

Thank you to the author and publishers for allowing me to read and early copy of this book.

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'Don't worry about getting older, worry about becoming dull.'

I feel like I've had a lightbulb moment. We can be so focused on reaching milestones by certain ages (thanks media, culture and society 🙄) when we shouldn't be worrying about that at all. Why do we spend so much time worrying about something that is going to happen and that we can't change when we could focus on something we can change?

Nell is a forty something woman who is nowhere near where she thought she would be at this point in her life. As she describes it, she's a f*** up. As she tries to get her life back in order, she strikes up a friendship with an eighty something widow. Together, they help each other to navigate their way through hurdles, smile through each others successes and challenge each other to get out of their comfort zone. Cricket, being 80 something, also has a treasure chest full of advice like the one I mentioned above.

This book is full of life lessons like the one above. I laughed out loud but I also learnt. So much. And so, I will confidently say that this book is for any woman. Although I'm in my 30s, I still found so much of it relatable because it's about life; an everyday woman living her life, just like so many of us. So many of us need answers or need to be in the same place as our friends. But life isn't like that. We let society dictate so much even though life doesn't always run parallel to what society tells us we should be doing. It's easy to spend too much time focusing on the latter because it's what we see around us, instead of focusing on the former; the life we're actually living. My main takeaway from this book is that it's ok not to have answers or have everything figured out because who on earth knows what they're supposed to be doing anyway?

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Nell has left her relationship aged forty something. She doesn't have children and has moved back to London from California. She feels like her life hasn't gone to plan so she sets up a podcast. Her friend's lives seem absolutely perfect but nell finds that isn't the case and learns to love her life. Great to read an Alexandra Potter book again because she is a terrific writer. Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for letting me review this book.

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I’m in my 40’s so this appealed to me from the title alone and I was not disappointed.
Nell is in her 40’s has a failed relationship and life isn’t just how she had planned and everyone else seems to have just the perfect life.
The story was funny, I love the relationship Nell has with her new friend Cricket who is double her age and teaches her so much
I also like the difference in relationship with her old friends from before she went away and how all their lives have changed.
The book is a great easy read, light hearted and funny. I highly recommend.

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A great read, very relatable and I enjoyed the characterisations. Amusing and touching in equal measures, I would recommend this book to friends - a great beach read.

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Firstly I want to say thank you to Netgalley and Pan Macmillan for sending me an e-Arc of this book, I am so grateful for the opportunity. 

This is not my normal genre to read, you can normally find me snuggled up with a fantasy based book however when I saw this on Netgalley it really appealed to me and I decided that I wanted to give it a go. 

This was a really apt book to be reading in social isolation during the Covid-19 outbreak. It took my mind off the evil world outside my window; it made me laugh and cry in so many different places. I feel like this is a book that every woman should read, it doesn't matter about your age, it will appeal to all ages, just pick it up and give it a go. 

I love the writing style that Alexandra Potter adapts, it made me breeze through the chapters very quickly. I also love how it was split into months of the year and different events within that book. It made it very easy to read and also very enjoyable. I couldn't wait to find out what would happen next with Nell.

Talking about Nell, what a character. She is so wonderful. I really love her as a character and I literally could not get enough of her. Nell has been through so much, but she always comes out the other end with her positive personality and hilarious sense of humour. I love that at the end of each event she writes a list of things she is grateful for, this is something that everyone needs to do at the end of the day. It was really uplifting to see that when she had a bad day she always saw the positives within it. I feel like at times like this it is exactly what a lot of us need to adapt into our daily lives. There were other side characters such as Edward and Cricket who I also absolutely loved. I just cant get enough of the characters in this book. 

I feel like this book is so relatable and one I will look back on when I am in my forties and realise how accurate it is. I mean even now at 27 years old some of the things I could completely relate too. I really enjoyed my time reading this book and will certainly be looking out for more by this author. Definitely recommend!

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This book is a little ray of sunshine!

The main character is experiencing some of the worst times. The book deals with the common issue that you can plan all you like but sometimes life doesn’t listen.

This is definitely not for just 40 and over this is a great observational look at life not being perfect for any age.

I personally found this refreshing, funny and reassuring.

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Confessions of a forty-something F##k up is an hilarious story that will have you hooked from the beginning.
I absolutely loved Nell and really related to her character in some ways.
She is definitely someone you will see a little bit of you in.
The storyline flowed really well and kept me entertained throughout.
It was the perfect story to have me laughing out loud when the world around me was going crazy.
I definitely recommend you read this book asap.

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I am way past 40 so I didn't know what I would think of this book. I found it a great story, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I particularly enjoyed all the characters, some so stereotypical and some just different. It was so much more than the title suggests. It has heart and warmth and yes it also has a message. It is a good read and a happy read.

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Confessions of a forty-something F##k Up by Alexandra Potter a very fulfilling five-star read. I picked this one up as I love this author, they just have a way with words that make you see your life in a different way, seeing life through Nells eyes just made me smile. Nell has a way of looking at life that I just enjoyed, when you look at life through her eyes and the eyes of her new friend Cricket, it shows us our current life and how we may presume life is one way, but the reality is usually very different. My Nanna used to say that you never knew what went on behind closed door, and just because they have a fur coat it doesn’t make them a lady as you never know what they have on underneath, this story kind of reminded me of those quips. Watching Nell come to terms with life’s dreams and realities will make you smile and may just make you look at your own life. I know it did mine.

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I needed something light to read whilst Covid-19 was making its presence known around the world. This was absolutely perfect. It made me smile, it made me think a bit but most of all it was light enough to read whilst everything around me changed forever. It may not be the best reason to read it or review to give it but I'll forever remember the book which got me through a particularly tough time.

the story rings true in so many ways (I'm way past being 40!) but her chapter endings of reason to be thankful resonated with life at the moment and i found myself doing exactly that at the end of each day.

In 'normal' times, this would be a fabulous beach read where no one minds you chuckling to yourself as you lay on your beach chair.

Thank you NetGalley for an advance copy in exchange for an honest review

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This book had me laughing out loud and had me shedding a tear, Any book that can do both is for me a 5 star read! This book is defiantly one I would recommend to all women its very relatable and helped lighten and bring a laugh to the struggles I believe many often face.
Thanks to Netgalley for letting my read an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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