This novel opens with Sinead saluting a magpie, after a bad diagnosis. There is then a style of writing that is somewhat of a stream of consciousness. Unfortunately I felt it added nothing to the book or storyline and I often just skipped past it.
Much of the story is then moved to the hospital ward where Sinead is a patient. And somehow, she still hasn't told her family the diagnosis and they are not asking. But the characters most explored are the other patients on the ward.
In the end it all seemed a bit frustrating.

Stylistically this is not going to be for everyone. If you like the way the book fuses a number of different and innovative storytelling methods including prose poetry and rendered dialogue, then you will probably love this as I did. On the other hand I can see how it would prevent a barrier for some. This is a story of a mother who has not told her family about her terminal cancer. It’s also the story of Ireland, both in relatively modern times, and how a lot of the bad outlook and dicey politics has been inherited. I probably cut this book far more slack because as an Irish woman, I felt what this was all saying very keenly. And there are certainly difficult scenes – a Magdalene laundry for example. But it’s also told with the wry wit and humour, and tender poignancy so characteristic of Irish stories. It’s a beautiful book. If you like literary fiction, give it a try.

The book had an interesting premise and concept, though at times it was difficult to read for several reasons. The book was full of interesting characters and there was a great focus on mental health, trauma, morality and mortality, and each of these concepts were handled well. However, the style of the writing and frequent focus on heavy subject matters meant it could be hard to read at times, and made the pacing feel slow.

This is perhaps the first book I've read where I've believed the main character is facing their own mortality. It weaves together the grief and fear of facing death and illness with everything else that comes with it, and Sinéad feels like a woman who is scared of what is happening to her, yet we don't feel that fear in every moment, although when we do it is punctuated and emphasised. It is an emotional read due to this, and I found myself with a lump in my throat quite often.

I very much enjoyed the difference between the three women on the ward featured in the book and how they interacted with each other, there was a focus on their friendship and how they all grew to love and care for each other. As well as this, I liked what each women brought to the story and their differing experiences and views of life, whilst unfortunately one life was more interesting than the other two it was not so bad I was rushing through the book to hear from only that one women again. What eclipsed the narration of their lives past and present was the focus on women friendship, and how important that is, the three women built a community so strong that it meant Sinéad was able to be free from her own past - it was beautiful to read.

There was also an intriguing exploration of mental health relating to trauma in this novel and how it can impact decision making and one's future. It was nice to see an author who did not pretend trauma could be swept under a rug or couldn't impact people's health decades after the traumatic event. It didn't seem like Feeney was trying to suggest trauma could be cured nor that it would ruin your life, but rather it was something that would stay with you and you should be aware of that, and manage it accordingly - which is how trauma is.

In addition to this there was a compelling running commentary on Ireland's history and it's politics. As someone who is ignorant of Irish politics and history I found this aspect of the book particularly fascinating, as it appeared Feeney largely commended the country's attitudes towards women but also it's failure to fully realise the promise it had made to it's citizens with independence. This commentary seemed to run hand in hand with the main character's motives and history and it was clear Feeney was condemning the impact of Ireland's failures and broken promises to it's citizens.

Yet, the writing at times could be confusing. The narration could feel muddled, perhaps because we're following an unreliable narrator, but also as it's sometimes difficult to distinguish the present from the past in the form of flashbacks. As well as this, Sinéad has an ongoing monologue inside her head of what she believes her father would think or say to her, which is not clearly stated when it first happens and rather the reader is left to decipher what is happening in the narrative. Without any clear distinction between past and present narration, but also with the possibility of someone else narrating at the same time, the reader can be left confused and unsure of what the character is thinking or feeling in the present moment; whilst you can decipher what is going on it is not immediately clear and takes attention away from the grief and trauma Feeney so expertly showcases.

Despite the book's positive attributes, I wouldn't recommend it to those who feel they wouldn't or couldn't read about illnesses or hospitals in great detail, as this does nothing to hide the horrors of disease or the fragility of life. Whilst I strongly admire the author for making this an uncomfortable read in this way, and refusing to censor the truth or make it a less bitter pill to swallow, it is however something you should be aware of as a reader.

Whilst this is not a book I would readily recommend due it's heavy subject matters, it is a book I would recommend if you can bare to constantly face them. It does not shy away from hardship but I believe it also brings some hope and love to these topics, as well as shines a light on the importance of friendships amongst women.

Difficult reading at times as I have a family member going through a terminal illness. The characters were lively and realistic. I felt the lead character Sinead was cold at times and it took me a while to warm to her, however, her experience was realistic and heartbreaking. The fellow members of her ward were all realistic and believable which made the reading more enjoyable. I liked the authors style and use of language, I felt it moved me along as a reader at quite a pace.

This debut novel is a tribute to the spirit and resilience of Irish women - brimful of the usual Irish angst, but thankfully - what could have been a depressing read - is lightened with wry Irish humour. At times the narrative borders on farce and it could be easily translated to a stage play as most of it takes place in a mixed hospital ward. Feeney displays a mastery of revealing character through dialogue and I found her sympathetic portrayal of the patient with dementia particularly skilful and moving. I'm looking forward to future work by this talented writer.

As you Were by Elaine Feeney was a book that delighted and infuriated me by turns. Beginning with a sighting of single magpie, harbinger of sorrow and a metaphor for death and disease in this novel, it is narrated by a youngish mum who finds herself in a hospital ward after relapsing from an untreated, unspecified tumour. It was blackly comic in places in describing the other inhabitants of the ward, which included a possibly demented elderly ex teacher, who was constantly reminiscing about her former pupils including a girl who subsequently killed herself and a stroke victim with family problems outside of the ward, but eventually infringing on the ward environment. Along with the narrator's observations of her fellow inmates are flashbacks to her upbringing in the West of Ireland, and the family dysfunction on a farm, including some abuse by her father. As well as this doom and gloom, are happier reminiscences of her meeting with her now husband.

I found many parts entertaining and intriguing but as the book went on, the overly rambling focus on individuals, the narrator's reluctance to really engage with her condition and agree to any treatment, despite having a young family to consider and a strange, mystical and inconclusive ending made me a bit exasperated. I enjoyed her tone and style of writing and I thought it really captured the location in Ireland and the conservative, slightly restrictive moral environment, but it just didn't grab me sufficiently as it had too many strands, some of which were not satisfactorily concluded.

As You Were by Elaine Feeney is about Sinead Hynes who has terminal cancer. The prose, while beautifully written, was very disjointed and I found myself skipping over parts to get back to the story. I felt the book got side tracked by peripheral characters when I wanted to know more about Sinead and her relationship with her husband and boys. However the book was quite uplifting despite the subject matter.

Lyrical and poetic, 'As You Were' leaves the reader in no doubt as to which genre Feeney honed her writing skills in; "I fenced of the strays, ushered them into small verdant fields, leaving them to their sullen business deep in flaxen-yellowed ferns and beryl moss, dappled with hillock and jaded flat thistles." Most notably in the first half of the book, her descriptions appeared as dream-sequences; even provoking physical responses with images like, "He had shattering paralysis after dancing off his bike at high speed on the Galway-Dublin M6 surface some years back".

Condemned to a hospital ward of patients also ending their tussles with terminal conditions, Sinead attempts to slip out of her life as quietly as possible. From her bed, she observes the drama and heartbreak of louder individuals trying to disentangle their lives from those who will remain. Meanwhile her own loving husband and 3 children remain ignorant of the seriousness of her situation.

Feeney is faultless when building a picture of Sinead's relationships with her family - the particular skill, that they ring so recognisably true. Whether it be the text messages with her mother;
"Emojis offered due emotion, quickly and without complication or effort. I was ever so grateful for them. Especially my mother's, even if she sent them mostly by accident, they made her look utterly emotional, which was brilliant, especially the mad weather ones and the completely out-of-character, big bursting-red hearts."
or conversations with her husband;
"Alex and I learned, in time, to stop asking awkward questions about each others' days.And if we did, in a tick-box way, we chose topics with neutral buoyancy."

Frustratingly, I found that the balance of plot-lines weighed too heavily in favour of the other characters on the ward when what I really yearned for were more details about Sinead. Increasingly, I found myself skipping over the details about Nikita's pregnancy or Jane's schizophrenia in search of details about the protagonist and her loved ones. Ultimately, I was left disappointed.

Nevertheless, my thanks to netgalley, the author and publisher for sharing an advanced copy of this book with me in return for my honest opinion.

Very unusually for me - I gave up on this book. I generally have little patience with people who stop reading because they ‘couldn’t ‘get into’ a book, but this was one of those for me. I didn’t like the style of writing and stopped reading quite soon. I am sorry as Don’t line writing such a negative review but it just wasn’t for me.

I loved the first 15-20%, having had my own experience of a family member with a terminal illness I found it poignant and moving. Initially, the writing was lyrical (unsurprising- Feeney is a poet), which I enjoyed. There felt like a shift in the writing though and it became laboured and was therefore not as enjoyable to read once the other characters were introduced. I didn’t particularly care about any of the characters- there were too many and our knowledge of them too shallow- and Sinead and Alex’s relationship didn’t feel authentic. I also felt like the link to Irish culture was shoe-horned in and the minor storylines felt that way too. This book will probably be well received in Ireland and be popular with those who liked The Milkman.

Title - As You Were

Author - Elaine Feeney

Genre - Contemporary Fiction

With the current pandemic that has gripped the entire planet, one thing I was able to navigate through easily was finishing my books pretty quick. I had also noticed that I have picked up quite a good amount of books by Irish authors or books surrounding Ireland and As You Were was one of those. Here is my take on how I felt what this book expertised in and where it lacked when it came to narrate its plot.

Sinéad Hynes found herself in a hospital bed after she started complaining about a certain chest pain. A property dealer who was suffering a serious ailment had confided this secret to a 'shiny magpie'. This is the story of how Hynes deals with her stay in hospital when she is surrounded by people from different walks of life and were all awaiting the ultimate judgement.

Coming back to the book, the author is known for her poetry and being a debut novel, one could easily identify her writing style which admittedly did not suit well with prose. It took a real long time to understand how the author was trying to convey her plot and by the time one could grasp the same, almost one-quarter of the book has passed.

The author tries real hard to give equal limelight to all the characters present in the book and at times one could empathise with them on what they are going through. Alas! The same cannot be said about the central character Hynes and her husband. I would though commend on certain parts of the book which were pretty engrossing which did elevate the experience of the book.

Coming to whether one should pick the book, this book has been a pretty average read for me. Not sure whether it's the writing style or the narration speed, this one just did not work out for me. I would recommend it to those who have grip on poetry since this one has a lot of poetical references.

My Ratings -  🌟🌟🌟 (3 out of 5 stars)

'Things linger after you die.'
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Thank you to netgalley and vintagebooks / penguinrandomhouse for approving me to read this ARC of As You Were by Elaine Feeney, due out 20/08/2020.
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This was a very surprising book for me. I hadn't read any of Elaine Feeney's poetry prior to reading this novel, but it is very poetically written - both in description, and at times in the structure.
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I found this book very moving and also very comical in points.
What really stood out for me was the interactions between the patients on the ward, and the insights into their lives, especially the female characters.
I found Jane's story especially sad, particularly because she is essentially on her own at the end of her life.
The companionship the patients give each other (even after some leave the hospital) felt quite realistic to me. After all, in a hospital there aren't really any secrets from those in your immediate vicinity. Sometimes it is easier to share your most intimate moments with people who are near-strangers than people who have known you.
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'We had things in common, and we promised when we were old, we'd search each other for them.'
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The character of Sinead resonated with me in some ways. It is clear that she has suffered some traumas in her life prior to her diagnosis, and it is debatable whether she has even really acknowledged these traumas.
It seems that the few conversations she has with Alex about her father are the first time she has even shared any of this abuse.
Some of her traumas are very specific to women, such as the loss of her daughter. This felt very realistic as women are often left to feel and acknowledge miscarriages on their own - especially the lasting impacts it can have.
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'Sometimes I felt a kind of loneliness with such a force that I needed to lie down, or vomit or take myself into the sea.'
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Overall this was a great depiction of love, and loss, and life in between.
I would highly recommend this book and hope Feeney has plans to write more novels.

I found this book quite hard to read. I didn't like the style of writing, and I didn't warm to the central character, so reading it was more of a duty than a pleasure. That said, I can see that some people would enjoy what is quite a different sort of book.

Hmm, a very painful and slow read for me. Not just because of the detailed gruesome hospital events, that was expected, but because of how cold the main character Sinéad was.

I know it’s a lot to do with personal taste but I really didn’t want to pick this book up again between reads. I couldn’t warm to the mother of three who didn’t want to even try to battle a terminal illness, especially when she had so little faith in her husband taking care of their children when she was gone.

The drama on the ward was also a little far fetched for me. I understand it would have been difficult to write an entire book while being stuck in a hospital bed if it wasn’t but still - I found myself not really believing in the characters, their connections or their behaviours. There’s a strange closeness that develops, for example, between two characters that have never actually spoken. It seemed to come out of nowhere.

The frustrating end was the nail in the coffin for me. I have absolutely no idea what actually occurred. I read through the final pages twice and then one more time out loud to my husband, to see if he could help me understand if it was a metaphor or something. But we both agreed the juxtaposing facts listed over those 3 pages (without a single full stop) were too difficult to untangle. Two stars because I made it to the end!

Favourite quote: Molly Zane took all the extra Hospital shifts she could, mostly to avoid making real-life decisions. I didn’t share these secrets with her, these you have to learn for yourself.

As You Were is out on the 20th of August, thank you for the opportunity to review this book through NetGalley.

Thank you to Random House UK for an ARC of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

As You Were is the debut novel of Elaine Feeney, an Irish poet/author. The primary storyline follows Sinead who is living on a hospital ward with a (seemingly) undiagnosed illness on the west coast of Ireland. She has only confided this diagnosis in Google and a Magpie following her first hospital appointment, leaving her husband and children in the dark. In addition, Feeney masterfully interweaves a discussion of more complex (and somewhat controversial) issues in Irish culture, through one-sided phone conversations, text messages and conversations between the patients on ‘the Ward’. It is through these interactions that it is revealed the deeper histories of each patient, which includes stories of abortion, domestic violence, forced marriages and hidden sexualities.

The way this story is written is almost as though we are reading a conscious stream of thoughts from Sinead - what she hears from the phone conversations of her fellow patients, reminiscing of previous adventures, text messages etc. - to reveal the complex and dynamic relationships between staff, patients and their families.

Where this fell short for me was the bouncing between narratives - I suppose this was done to replicate Sinead’s thoughts as she falls in and out of consciousness, but for me I found myself confused on more than one occasion. Additionally, on several instances, characters were introduced with little explanation of who they were or what relation they were to either Sinead or the other patients in the Ward with her. This produced confusion for me… Having said this, I would happily recommend this book to anyone looking for a complex and interesting story that is bound to make you think.

This was my first experience of reading Elaine Feeney's work and I think you can tell she is a poet from the off! She has a knack for picking up on small, colourful details and using them to populate what might otherwise be quite a bland landscape (the terminal ward of a hospital!) Feeney also uses a lot of dialect throughout the novel and many references to Irish politics, which makes this novel stand out from others like it. I don't think it will be for everyone, but there are quite a few enjoyable moment as Sinead, the protagonist, observes the characters in the ward with her.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC

I really struggled with the writing style of this and just couldn't get in to it. I liked the story line but just found it too difficult to read.

Sinead has been rushed to hospital wearing nothing but a strapless Wonderbra. Her husband Alex is doing what he’s always done, looking after their 3 sons in her absence, but this time she’s not frantically trying to make yet more money, getting drunk and having casual sex with the men she meets through work. This time she’s avoiding telling him the truth about her health, that some time ago she was diagnosed with terminal lung disease for which she’s refused all treatment. In the ward is a very mixed group of patients. Jane is there because she has nowhere to go that can cope with her dementia, Margaret seems to have a stroke, 2 men with minor roles are also dying but over their hospital stay get to know a lot about each other as there are no secrets in a hospital ward. As Sinead’s story unfolds with flashbacks to her childhood with an abusive father and bullying brothers interspersed with the snippets she overhears from the other patients, it becomes clear that she has been as influenced by her past as the other patients and she’s so scared of exposing her deepest feelings she’d rather hurt Alex than be honest with him.
Reminiscent of Normal People, with a heroine who’s present is very much controlled by her past, Ellen Feeney has written a beautifully nuanced tale as only a poet can, every word is important. My only criticism is the gratuitous swearing which just didn’t add anything to the story and it dragged slightly in some parts.

I gave up on this book after a few chapters. There seemed to be so many threads running, none of them amusing, just baffling. Sorry, just not for me.

I’m afraid I didn’t finish this. I just couldn’t get into it. I didn’t like the short paragraphs, etc.