Due to a sudden, unexpected passing in the family a few years ago and another more recently and my subsequent (mental) health issues stemming from that, I was unable to download this book in time to review it before it was archived as I did not visit this site for several years after the bereavements. This meant I didn't read or venture onto netgalley for years as not only did it remind me of that person as they shared my passion for reading, but I also struggled to maintain interest in anything due to overwhelming depression. I was therefore unable to download this title in time and so I couldn't give a review as it wasn't successfully acquired before it was archived. The second issue that has happened with some of my other books is that I had them downloaded to one particular device and said device is now defunct, so I have no access to those books anymore, sadly.

This means I can't leave an accurate reflection of my feelings towards the book as I am unable to read it now and so I am leaving a message of explanation instead. I am now back to reading and reviewing full time as once considerable time had passed I have found that books have been helping me significantly in terms of my mindset and mental health - this was after having no interest in anything for quite a number of years after the passings. Anything requested and approved will be read and a review written and posted to Amazon (where I am a Hall of Famer & Top Reviewer), Goodreads (where I have several thousand friends and the same amount who follow my reviews) and Waterstones (or Barnes & Noble if the publisher is American based). Thank you for the opportunity and apologies for the inconvenience.

From Katie Cotugno and author of Sex and the City Candace Bushnell comes this fierce and feisty exploration of feminism: standing up, speaking out and rewriting the rules.

Don’t be easy. Don’t give it up. Don’t be a prude. Don’t be cold. Don’t put him in the friendzone. Don’t act desperate. Don’t let things go too far. Don’t give him the wrong idea. Don’t blame him for trying. Don’t walk alone at night. But calm down! Don’t worry so much. Smile!

Marin is a smart, driven, popular girl – she's headed for Brown when she graduates and has a brilliant career as a journalist ahead of her. Especially in the eyes of English teacher Mr Beckett. He spends a lot of time around Marin, and she thinks it's harmless . . . until he kisses her.

No one believes Marin when she tells them what happened, so she does the only thing she can: she writes an article called 'Rules for Being a Girl' for the school paper to point out the misogyny and sexism that girls face every day. As things heat up at school and in her personal life, Marin must figure out how to take back the power and rewrite her own rules.

I wanted to love this book, I think it had such strong themes (check your trigger warnings) the feminism is strong with this one but I did not gel at all with the characters but as someone who is really character driven it took away from my enjoyment of the book- I would recommend this though it's an important read!

This book filled me with feminist rage. I loved Marrin and the things that happened to her made me so, so angry. I loved the friendship aspect to the story. Brilliantly written, I didn't want to put it down.

4 out of 5 stars

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for sending me a copy of this in exchange for an honest review.

TW: SA & Underage SA

Seeing the process of Marins journey was fascinating. What should be the story of an average teen going through their academic life turns dark and sad.

It’s very important to not only talk about topics like this because unfortunately it’s a thing but to also see the strength behind the victim and how they use this negative experience to grow and show awareness.

Believing victims is something that shouldn’t even be questioned but it is and it’s heartbreaking.

It’s fast paced and full of deep meaningful talk

I really recommend this

Rules For Being a Girl is a book I wish I could give to my teenage self.

Marin adores her English teacher, Mr Beckett. He’s just awesome. Down to earth, relatable, more of a friend than a teacher. Until he gives her a lift home late one night. On the way to her house, Bex swings by his apartment to pick up a book he keeps forgetting to lend to Marin. While they’re in his home, he kisses her.

She doesn’t know what to do. Marin’s certain that it was a simple misunderstanding. She must have been giving Bex the wrong impression, sending signals that she hadn’t been intending to send. She resolves to put it behind her and not allow it to taint their relationship.

However, Bex does the exact opposite. Suddenly he’s treating Marin harshly, grading her unfairly, and even interfering with her future. Marin has always followed the unspoken rules for being a girl: she’s been a model student, a good girl, and would never dream of causing a scene. But she’s starting to learn that some rules are meant to be broken…

Marin makes the best of a terrible situation, deciding to focus on educating herself on issues surrounding women’s equality and the difference in societal expectations between men and women. Straightforward and unafraid, Marin calls it how she sees it. This makes her seem like a much older character – it’s the kind of confidence which comes with growing up, and I didn’t know anyone who could call out sexist jokes or stereotypically macho behaviour in their teens – but it also makes her the kind of inspirational character that teenage girls need as a role model.

I didn’t understand feminism until I was in my very late teens, but if Rules For Being a Girl had been out when I was younger I would have been calling myself a feminist much earlier in my life. It was brilliant to see Marin start a feminist book club, and recommending titles by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and Roxane Gay lays the groundwork for readers to explore feminist non-fiction written by women of colour. It allows interested readers to learn about intersectional feminism, and the way that feminist issues impact upon people from different backgrounds, from outspoken authors sharing their lived experiences.

I also really enjoyed the relationship between Marin and Gray, and I found myself rooting for them more than I have for a YA couple in quite a while. I’m hoping that Bushnell and Cotugno consider writing a sequel to this story, because Marin and Gray’s relationship has a lot of potential for development in the future. I felt sad at the end of the book because I was attached to both of the characters and I wanted to see more of them, and that’s not something which happens to me very often.

The only reason I didn’t give Rules For Being a Girl five stars is because I wasn’t a fan of the ending. It’s rushed. Compared to the rest of the novel – which builds up tension slowly, making you wonder what Marin will do next and whether Bex will get his comeuppance – the end of the story falls flat.

It’s hard to talk about my main issue with the ending without giving spoilers, but let’s say that it is highly unrealistic (which is a shame, because the rest of the novel is written so believably). If it had played out a bit more slowly, Bushnell and Cotugno might have been able to address exactly how the events are supposed to play out… But instead the main characters plot off the page, intending to give the reader a satisfying reveal when we discover what they’ve done, but it didn’t seem possible that they would have been able to get away with it.

However, if it wasn’t for the ending this book would have been a five star novel. The topics explored are relevant (even if some of the pop culture references already feel painfully dated for a book which was only released last summer!) and are important for young people to be able to discuss. I’ve seen this novel favourably compared to Moxie and The Nowhere Girls, so I’ll be checking both out as soon as I can.

I already knew I enjoyed Katie Cotugno’s writing, but this collaboration seems to have elevated her to the next level. If these authors decide to work together again in the future, it’ll be an autobuy for me.

I received an Advance Reader Copy from the publisher. This in no way impacted on my view.

High school senior Marin knows what she wants in life. She's going to go to Brown for college, before becoming a journalist, and can't imagine that anything will derail that. However, her friendship with her AP English teacher, and school paper advisor, Mr Beckett, soon turns dangerous, and he's driving her home, and then kisses her. Marin can't understand what's happened, and when she tells her best friend, she is blamed for misreading the situation. Marin starts to realise that for a girl, the rules are different, and she's had enough. So, she writes an article called 'Rules for Being a Girl', starts up a feminist book club, and becomes friends with new guy, Gray, who believes her story, and encourages her to tell her parents, and the school administration. In a perfect world, Mr Beckett would be fired, but he's not, and his partial suspension aggravates the others students who turn on Marin completely. Will Marin be able to turn the tide of hatred against her, and finally have someone believe her?

This book was so good, and such an important story. Honestly, I think everyone, but especially teenage girls, need to read this story. Marin is a normal girl - very bright, very happy, and set on what she wants in life. When her teacher - who was a massive creep - starts to pay a little more attention to her, she's flattered, and thinks nothing of it. Not even when he sits with her in a Starbucks for a couple of hours, or offers to drive her home. Why would she think anything of it? She's done nothing wrong. But, Mr Beckett, or Bex, takes it too far, and abuses her trust and kisses her in his home, and then turns against her when it's clear she's no longer comfortable in class, or around him. She's alone, and needs an outlet, and she uses her editor role of the school paper for this, with her editorial on the 'Rules for Being a Girl'. This both helps her, but also causes her to lose things she couldn't imagine. Really, her actions were undeniably right, and she was left down by those around her who should've cared for her and safeguarded her - especially the school administration. I loved seeing her and Gray's friendship - and then relationship - though it didn't detract from the important feminist message of the whole book. I read it in one day, and couldn't wait to finish it and see Marin finally be believed and supported. A perfect book for those living through the #MeToo movement.

Rules for Being a Girl is a very topical and well-written novel based on an aspiring journalist in her last years of school, preparing and applying to universities to pursue her dream. She experiences an unfortunate but sadly common encounter with one of her teachers that leads her to revelations about deep-seated gender roles and cultural prejudices which she decides to tackle through literature and journalism. Bushnell and Cotugno delve into important truths of both the schooling system and society, presenting all-too-realistic scenarios with relatable themes and expressing a feminist argument through the thoughts and actions of the main protagonist. The writers also tackle the prejudices against feminism and show through empowering elements and friendships that there are myths to be debunked surrounding female empowerment. The beginning of the book is, admittedly, a little hard to relate to as the story is set, but as an adult looking back on what I was like when I was seventeen, it became more understandable. As the story unfolds and the themes are made apparent, the book becomes addictive, and I couldn't put it down for the thirst of resolution that gripped me. As with all stories, it will resonate with some people more than others, but personally this book had me on the edge of my seat, reading up until the early hours of the morning, feeling sick, crying, and smiling. Despite the resolution of the story, it is a realistic ending that doesn’t wipe away the horrors that the protagonist faces, and important messages that are presented through the book. An important story for all to read, educating as well as nurturing, and a refreshing change from the damsel-in-distress YA fiction I'm used to reading. Bravo.

I tried and tried with this book but something just didn't click for me with it. I couldn't relate to the characters and struggled to feel absorbed in the story.

Wow!
The premise of this book sounded really good and I was excited to finally read but I really wasn't prepared for how good this was. This should be a must read for any young people and the way it perfectly expresses how girls and women are affected by society from such a young age is so real and in parts it took my breath away. The story is raw and heartbreaking and Marin is such a great main character I was definitely behind her all the way and even when she loses herself during the difficult time she is still so honest and real. She is definitely one of my favourite characters I've read this year.
The added drama of the best friend and the awful ex made this book even more heart wrenching and Gray's character was lovely, showing how you shouldn't judge people by what you've heard and he was really understanding showing that feminism shouldn't just be talked about by women.
This book is one of my top reads of 2020 and needs to be read, especially by girls.

I thought that I would struggle with this after the first chapter. I think I tried to read it when I wasn't really in the mood. Luckily I stuck with it and in the end I ended up enjoying the book.

A book for a younger readership than me. It sends a strong feminist message and young adults should definitely read this novel.

This definitely came across as a very "teenage" book, but that is to be expected. Because of this, I felt that the book felt a little clunky and very few characters were actually fleshed out at all - I would have liked to see a bit more into Marin's home life for example, maybe to see what her sister's reaction to everything was. I also found that the name-dropping of specific feminist texts felt quite strange, but then again perhaps a young person reading the book would then be interested in finding and reading some of the mentioned texts.
However, this is an incredibly important subject area and I'm glad that it's becoming more accessible. I might be wrong but I don't think that there's a huge amount of this kind of fiction available and aimed at teenagers, and I think that the student-teacher relationship itself was handled very well. For example the fact that while the teacher is obviously a horrible and creepy character, we never see him do anything more than kiss a student (of course this is still horrific) and so the book is suitable for younger readers without being hugely traumatizing.

This was a quick and relatively easy read but I'm afraid I found myself disappointed by it. There's nothing especially bad about it, the writing is good, the characters are likeable enough (or at least the ones you're supposed to like), the story is interesting but there just wasn't anything that grabbed me.

There's clearly a lot going on in the world at the moment and my brain is all over the place, so there is a good chance it's me and not the book. However, I did feel like this was a little lacking in originality. I've read quite a few feminist YA contemporaries and this didn't seem to add much. A lot of the feminist theories and views woven through the story feel a little forced rather than naturally evolving and there are sections which feel as though they've been copied from the feminism 101 handbook.

Anyway this is all getting a bit bit negative so back to the good. I did like main character Marin, she's maybe a little naive but she tries to do the right thing and really develops over the course of the story. Love interest Gray is absolutely adorable although I do have my doubts about any guy being quite so perfect. Also loved the family relationships and how the story dealt with dementia.

I do think it could have gone a little deeper on some of the issues covered (and sacrificed a bit of the feminism) but overall it was an enjoyable enough read.

This was a quick, commercial, and easy read. It felt very teenage, convincing, and right for its target audience. It isn’t subtle and I felt a bit too ‘nudged’ by the book at times, but as a young adult I think I would have really engaged with the narrative. Great to see these important issues being raised and explored in YA fiction in this way.

Definitely a book more suited to a teenage audience! A story of feminism & the difficulties faced by young women in this modern day world

I'm not the target audience for this YA book, but I found it interesting nonetheless. It's a quick read, with an insightful sprinkling of feminist threads woven into the narrative.

Thank you to NetGalley and to the publisher for allowing me to read this in exchange for an honest review.

“Remember, girl: It's the best time in the history of the world to be you. You can do anything! You can do everything! You can be whatever you want to be! Just as long as you follow the rules.”

Marin is a top student and on her way to going to Brown when she graduates, she has a lot to look forward to. Her English teacher Mr Beckett, Bex as he is known to the children he teaches, always has a good word to say about her work and her future. He is really friendly and also supports her and her best friend Chloe with the school paper. Marin gets on well with him until he makes a move on her one day after school.Marin is shocked and knows she needs to speak to someone; her best friend Chloe. Chloe doesn’t take it well and makes her feel like it was a huge misunderstanding. But Marin can’t shake off this feeling and decides to take it further. Still feeling like no one is listening to her, she writes an article called 'Rules for Being a Girl' for the school paper to point out the misogyny and sexism that girls face every day. As things heat up at school and in her personal life, Marin must figure out how to take back the power and rewrite her own rules.
I read this book in a day, I couldn’t put it down. It is such a wonderful story with themes that need to be heard. I loved how Marin fought back and stood her ground, she knew that what happened wasn’t right and something had to be done about it. It was nice to see her grow and realise how different the world is for girls.
The story would have been better for me if it was longer! I would have loved to have seen more of the feminist book club and just given more time and detail to cover the topics that it did. The story does involve sexual assault, swearing, drinking, and bullying.
I felt the story was especially strong in the area of bringing awareness of feminism to Marin. It was a horrible thing to have happened to her but it brought out this realisation that being a girl isn't all it's cracked up to be and how many unknown rules there are for girls to live by.
I especially enjoyed when she created a feminist book club with the help from her teacher. That was lovely to see that people at their age are taking an interest in feminism and there are some great book recommendations in there as well! I really enjoyed the relationship that grew between her and Gray in the absence of her best friend. I would say it was of my favourite reads this year and every girl should read it.

I thought that I would struggle with this after the first chapter. I think I tried to read it when I wasn't really in the mood. Luckily I stuck with it and in the end I ended up enjoying the book.

Ummm, there are quite a few books around at the moment that have a very similar premise.

I think the reason that this one appears to have resonated with so many people is due to the fact that it just isn't too "in your face"


There is a powerful message in this book that is relevant to all teenagers, no matter what sex they are but I feel that the issues that are brought up in this book (and there are many) are dealt with in a rather unbelievable manner.

Basically, we have Marin who is in her final year of high school. She's looking forward to going to a prestigious collage and along with her best friend, Chloe, is editor of the school newspaper.
Everything is going well. until the "cool" teacher makes a pass at Marin.

Marin knows that it's not right but what should she do? And how will her life change depending on what she decides? Will her decision only effect her . . or are there others that could be caught in the crossfire?

This is a big decision for a young girl and the reaction that Marin has to deal with from lots of different people, is probably very true to life and so disappointing.

Marin Lospato is a grade A student and co-editor of the school newspaper. She has a best friend Chloe, and a boyfriend Jacob, and life seems pretty good. Chloe and her have a crush on their English teacher Mr Beckett, who is young, good-looking and friendly. But Marin's life is about to change drastically. When Mr Beckett offers her a lift home, she accepts, but when he detours at his house, and kisses her, she is shocked and shaken. Did she bring it on herself by accepting the lift? When she confesses what happened to her best friend Chloe, she's confused by the response she gets. Expecting support, instead she's met with disbelief and this causes a rift in their friendship.

When a fellow student is humiliated in front of the whole school for a violation of the uniform code, she begins to question the double standards that permeate high school, and society. She writes a passionate article about 'The Rules for Being a Girl' - this is met with scorn and derision from almost all. But unperturbed, Marin goes on to form a feminist book group to balance out the predominantly white, male reading list that makes up the school curriculum.

Finding the courage to approach the head teacher about the sexual assault, she is again met with suspicion, and after investigation it's found that there is no conclusive evidence of any wrongdoing on his part.

Marin is angry and when her dream of getting into Brown is ruined by Mr Beckett, she vandalises his car and is suspended. Chloe comes to visit her, and what she reveals is to turn things around and prove Marin to be telling the truth to the whole school.

This is a book that young people should read, it is thought-provoking and current, and I thought Marin was a wonderful protagonist - 'smart, funny and fierce as all hell'.