I just saw that I had this on my netgalley shelf from 2020. Yikes. I actually bought the book in 2022 unaware it was already sat on my kindle and I absolutely loved it. I gave it 5 stars on goodreads. I can't remember enough to actually review it but I know I loved it. So big apologies for the delay but at least I bought the book in the end

Charlotte Levin’s debut novel, “If I Can’t Have You,” is a gripping psychological thriller that delves into obsession, manipulation, and the dark depths of the human psyche. With its taut suspense, complex characters, and chilling narrative, this book is a compelling page-turner that will keep readers on edge from start to finish.

The story revolves around Constance Little, a woman consumed by her love for Samuel, a man she believes is her soulmate. As Constance’s obsession intensifies, she becomes entangled in a twisted game of control and possession, blurring the lines between love and obsession. Levin skillfully navigates the psychological intricacies of the characters, immersing readers in a suspenseful journey of power dynamics and the destructive force of an all-consuming love.

Levin’s writing style is atmospheric and evocative, creating a palpable sense of unease that permeates the narrative. The author masterfully builds tension, allowing it to simmer beneath the surface before erupting into shocking revelations. The pacing is skillfully crafted, with each chapter propelling the story forward and keeping readers on the edge of their seats.

The character development in “If I Can’t Have You” is both nuanced and intriguing. Constance is a complex and unreliable narrator, eliciting a mix of sympathy and unease as readers navigate her mind. The supporting cast, including Samuel and Constance’s friend Violet, adds layers to the story, unveiling the depths of manipulation and the consequences of obsession.

Levin’s exploration of obsession is chilling and thought-provoking. The novel delves into the psychological and emotional toll of obsession, raising questions about the boundaries of love and the human capacity for control. The themes of power, desire, and the fragility of identity are skillfully woven throughout the narrative, making for a compelling and unsettling reading experience.

While “If I Can’t Have You” is a riveting psychological thriller, some readers may find certain plot elements predictable or wish for further exploration of certain characters’ motivations. However, the overall impact and intensity of the story more than compensate for any minor shortcomings.

In summary, “If I Can’t Have You” is a chilling and engrossing psychological thriller that showcases Charlotte Levin’s talent for crafting suspenseful narratives. With its intricate exploration of obsession and the fine line between love and control, this book will leave readers questioning the limits of human obsession. If you’re seeking a gripping and unsettling reading experience, “If I Can’t Have You” delivers an enthralling tale that will keep you guessing until the very end.

I received an ARC of this book thanks to NetGalley and publisher Pan Macmillan in exchange for an honest review.

If I Can't Have You is the twisted story of a woman obsessed with a man. From the day Constance meets Samuel at her workplace, she is convinced he is the one for her. Unaware of her obsession, he begins sleeping with her and so starts an unhealthy and dysfunctional dynamic which fuels the whole plot.

The plot of this book is very simple but it's all in the execution for me. This is a very well-told story, with a decent pace and enough going on that it keeps you invested. I really liked the addition of Edward, an elderly friend Constance makes early on. I think this could have easily focused entirely on the romance/stalking aspect and, while it is still mostly about that, it adds depth and realism that Constance has an existence outside of that, even if she doesn't realise it.

My biggest contention of the book lies with Constance's friend/roommate, Dale. Initially I thought he was her husband and this was a little confusing (I did listen to the audiobook so it's possible I missed something) but more importantly, I can't decide whether I like what he symbolises in the story. Dale is hopelessly in love with Constance and this is meant to be a mirror to her feelings towards Samuel, but it doesn't quite hit true. For starters, Constance initially does little to encourage Dale whilst Samuel definitely flirts with Constance and takes advantage of her. Secondly, the direction the Dale plotline takes means I am not quite sure what the author was going for. Is this meant to be Constance's punishment for acting how she does? Intentional or not, it's hard not to read into it that way. But again, I do like the depth and interesting parallels it adds at times.

Overall, this book is an intriguing exploration of an obsessive relationship. It doesn't do anything ground-breaking plot wise, and if you want a high-octane thriller then there are better examples out there. But it is an interesting blend of thriller and standard fiction, and it has enough depth and interesting things to say to be worth your time

Overall Rating: 3.5/5 stars

This thriller has been sitting in my netgalley queue for quite a while and when I said it in the Audible £2.99 sale I thought I’d download it and give it a go. I guess I should maybe have guessed more about the book from the cover however I had no idea what I was in for and this was definitely not what I was expecting.

The story is written as if the main character Constance is speaking to another character in the book - Samuel - recounting her side of the story. The story surrounds the two characters and their relationship to each other.

Constance is quite an unreliable main character with quite a few red flags which makes it quite difficult to trust her version of events throughout the story.

Overall this was quite a compulsive listen but it was equally if not more disturbing!

This sounded like a book I would enjoy. Following a characters obsession with someone else.
Sadly this just didn't work for me. I found myself bored throughout. I just could not find myself to care.
I found it hard to see why she became this obsessed with him. He was unlikeable but their connection was never that strong. She felt obsessed before they even hooked up.

You know those books you start and within the first few paragraphs “you know!”.. well this is one of those rare occasions that I picked up a book and didn’t put it down because “I knew”. If I Can’t Have You grabbed me tightly by the short n curlies, crawled under my skin and attached itself deep into my psyche from the opening paragraph to those 2 little words THE END.

If you follow my blog then you will know how much I love unhinged, unreliable narrators and this book didn’t just tick my boxes, it used a neon yellow highlighter.

Imagine Joe Goldberg (YOU) and Sweetpea had a one-night stand and they had a lovechild… so now let me introduce you to Constance Little.

A 28 year old receptionist in a private doctor’s surgery in Kensington. A chain-smoking, emotionally stunted woman who is running away from her past having recently experienced a traumatic loss. Living in a crappy bedsit, drinking too much and avoiding her own feelings so when the handsome and charming Dr Samuel Stevens starts working at the surgery she can’t help falling for him.

If I Can’t Have You is an exceptional debut novel and Charlotte Levin really brings Constance Little to life, warts and all. She’s created a character that the reader feels all the emotions for. Whilst we can’t quite agree with some of her actions, we understand why she does the things she does. She has bottled up her deep feelings about her parents and never faced up to the loss and grief properly which has caused her to behave in the way she does.

The book is dark and at times very depressing, but I couldn’t put it down. I wanted Constance to have her happy ever after, even whilst watching her self-destruct. This takes obsession to a new level and I absolutely devoured it. Absolutely FABULOUS and I 100% recommend it to anyone who likes their books dark, disturbing and utterly gripping.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Very enjoyable read even though main character was getting on my nerves with her obsession at times but her character was written well and realistic I think. I wasn't sure I was too keen on the ending but other than that I enjoyed it very much

I had high hopes for this one and unfortunately this just wasn't the book for me. I struggled through most of the story, I can see why people enjoy it though.

This author is really great. I really loved this book. This tale was highly engrossing and highly recommendable!!

A very engaging, fast paced psychological thriller, told from Constance’s perspective. Well written, and kept me guessing and thoroughly absorbed. Read in two days. Recommend.

Wow, Wow and Wow - is that a review.
This grabbed me from the start and I was hooked.
Well written, great characters and I want more. Didn't see the end coming either !

What happens when you fall in love with someone who doesn't love you back? Do you accept it and move on? Or do you become consumed, obsessed and a little batty?

This story is about Constance Little.
This is her love story.
Only...this isn't the way it was supposed to end.

Clad in a meringue of taffeta, tulle and blood, Constance steps onto the underground in somewhat of a daze. As the reader we are instantly drawn into her world and what happened to leave her sandwiched between a hipster and a mother with her child in a bridal gown on a train. The child was in awe of Constance's attire exclaiming "Look at the princess, mummy!" whilst pawing the rustling fabric as other passengers possibly declared her somewhat insane. In that moment, we feel her pain despite not yet knowing what it is. Has she been jilted? Or is she a runaway bride?

But the truth is much stranger than fiction; far darker and twisted than anyone could possibly imagine. Including Constance herself.

Working as a receptionist for a doctors surgery in affluent Kensington, Constance falls in love with Dr Samuel Stevens the moment she sets eyes on him. Brought in to fill the gap a deceased doctor has left behind, Samuel arrives with his smiles and self-importance. Despite this Constance sees only attraction and is immediately infatuated with him, finding any excuse she can to be alone with him. Soon her every thought is consumed with him particularly when her advances are reciprocated and Constance believes their stolen moments to be true love.

But when Samuel ends their brief affair in a cruel and insensitive manner, Constance is devastated that what she believed to be genuine was just a bit of fun for him. It is then that the emotional wounds of her past turn her infatuation into a dangerous obsession, as she goes all Glenn Close, stalking him and watching him in an attempt to feel closer to him. But how far will she go to win him back?

However Samuel's sense of entitlement, self-importance and arrogance as well as his inability to see the depth of his treatment of not only Constance, but women in general, speaks volumes as to the type of man he is. Why is it that these are the men who attract the most vulnerable kind of woman? They fall for his charm, his smile, the way he makes them laugh all without seeing that he is really laughing at them not with them. He comes from a world of entitlement and privilege and is used to getting what he wants and then justifying his disgraceful actions by accusing women of being sulky and clingy who dare to mistake sexual intimacy as a relationship when all he is really after is a good time.

But just as Samuel is a master manipulator, so is Constance. She wangles her way into the bereaved and lonely Edward's life purely for her own gain as well as clinging to her creepy flatmate Dale just so he wouldn't leave her...even though she never really wanted him in the first place. Alongside her flashbacks to her childhood memories, it brings to light just how lonely Constance is and how affected she is by the mistakes of the past and/or the sins of her father, or even mother, as the case may be. Granted, she is still grieving after the death of her mother, and grief can sometimes make people do the strangest things. In Constance's case, in her view everyone she loves leaves her...and that appears to be her greatest fear which she tries to control through various unsuccessful attempts.

This psychological thriller is a darkly twisted tale of love and obsession written in the form of a detailed letter from Constance to Samuel, the object of her desire, and is a twisted blend of "Fatal Attraction" and "Gone Girl". I couldn't help but feel sorry for Constance even if she was a tad psycho. It was Samuel and Dale that I loathed the most...and I had to question who was the most twisted one of them all?

On the one hand, you sympathise with Constance while on the other you dislike her intensely. She does come across as needy and clingy but then again, you have the inside scoop as to why she acts the way she does, so does that make it excusable or just understandable? Half the time I couldn't decide whether I liked or hated her but somehow I still found myself rooting for her. I guess I wanted to see Samuel get his comeuppance, because really the man was deplorable. And Dale? He was just uber creepy. I did not like him from the start. How Constance couldn't see through him is beyond me. His pointed comment about those who are so obsessed with who they are watching often are oblivious as to who may be watching them (or words to that effect)...was just super creepy.

My favourite character would have to be the irascible Edward. And his inscription in the copy of "Wuthering Heights" he gave to Constance for her birthday brought tears to my eyes...

IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU is sinister, creepy and, in some ways, addictive. Its tense and compulsive narration gives the reader a sense of claustrophobia. The characters are impulsive, vulnerable and mostly unlikeable. While the plot itself is quite cleverly written as one long detailed letter that provides a slow burn build of tension culminating to an ugly end, it did drag a little in places but the concept itself was genius.

In some ways IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU was too literary for me as I prefer my thrillers to be rollercoaster rides of explosive twists and excitement. I guess a lot of this book missed the mark with me as I felt it was meant to be more of an exploration of sorts...into what, I'm not sure. But I can still appreciate part of the idea if not the entire concept.

Different but relatively enjoyable, IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU is the literary cross of "Fatal Attraction" and "Gone Girl" that is truly imaginative and compelling. Recommended though it may not be for all.

I would like to thank #CharlotteLevin, #Netgalley and #PanMacmillan for an ARC of #IfICantHaveYou in exchange for an honest review.

A great, well paced read with fantastically written, three dimensional characters.

Highly recommended for an engrossing read.

gripping and mind boggling psychological read. It throws you in to the crazy right from the get go and doesn't hold back. It is scary the lengths a broken mind will go to when hit with unrequited love, this will be sticking with me for quite some time to come!

Twists and plot turns a plenty. I couldn't put it down. Lots to keep my interest right to the end of the story. Highly recommend.

This one wasn't for me. I liked the idea of the story. Constance is a receptionist at a doctors surgery and becomes obsessed with the new doctor. The story starts off and is written in the form of a letter to the object of her obsession which sounded right up my street. I was hoping for a twisty psychological book that would suck me in but I just wasn't feeling this one as it went on. It just obviously wasn't for me.

SUPERB * MUST READ* EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT * THRILLING * TOTALLY CAPTIVATING * OUTSTANDING DEBUT NOVEL *
Constance is a very unreliable narrator. She is an exceptionally flawed character who shocks the reader, garners sympathy, makes others annoyed, keeps on making the same mistakes and is someone who just doesn't like herself at all.
Constance is adrift. She has left her home in Manchester, started working in a doctor's surgery in London, lives in a grotty bedsit and finds it VERY difficult to grasp reality. She is also lost without her Mum.
The characters are incredibly well drawn and the plot is cleverly written with huge attention to detail so that even a name or the odd word has significance to the overall theme of love, grief, loneliness and obsession.
The opening of If I Can't Have You is stunning. It shocks, immediately has the reader wondering what on earth has happened and sets you up for an emotional rollercoaster of a ride. There are a lot of downs thanks to some rather hideous male characters, namely fellow bedsitter Dale and the unscrupulous Dr Samuel Stevens. The one real up comes in the guise of an elderly gent called Edward, but even that relationship is troubled.
Reading the novel is like climbing into Constance's dysfunctional brain. I felt horrified at the lengths she went to to deceive herself and yet I also felt immensely sorry for her because her perception and subsequent actions are skewed badly out of desperation and the need to be loved.
What happens to us as humans when we crave something so badly we just cannot judge other people and their motivations with any degree of accuracy? And what happens when we possess a level of self-awareness, a rudimentary understanding of what we are doing to ourselves, but still carry on anyway?
Mostly what ensues is unhappiness, social isolation and hastily made decisions which tend to have negative outcomes. What happens with Constance is frighteningly extreme. I kept asking myself whether she was a killer, where she is actually living as she writes about what has happened and, convinced that I had sussed the situation, I was aghast when I discovered far more about her past and her current situation as she tells us her story.
This book will genuinely grab you, shake you, bounce you around, leave your stomach in your mouth and your heart on your sleeve and yet you will not want it to stop! In fact, Constance will haunt me as a fictional character who stepped off the page and straight into my life, the novel is THAT good!
I have already bought a hardback copy as a present for someone dear and I am hoping that fellow book friends will all be convinced that 2020 will not be complete without reading this book!

What a great book, I loved Constance and felt you really got to know her well through the book, well written and fast paced I raced through the pages, looking forward to more from Charlotte 😊

Brilliant novel! couldn't put this down once I got into it, can't wait to read more from Charlotte. only small issue I had at the beginning was that there was no chapters, however I soon got used to it.

This book had me hooked from the start - the first chapter introduces us to the lead character, Constance, on the underground dressed in a blood-stained wedding dress.- and so begins this rollercoaster of a book, an impressive debut about love, loneliness and obsession.

Constance is a receptionist at a doctor's surgery who falls for the new doctor, Samuel Stevens. She falls hard but he is not looking for a relationship and she develops an obsession which leads her to behave in very questionable ways. It is clear from the outset that Constance is a very complicated woman, and whilst it doesn't justify her actions, it does go some way to explaining them, particularly when Samuel, who is thoroughly unlikeable, continues to play with her emotions. As the book progresses we learn more about Constance's past and the more we are led to sympathise with her whilst still at times cringing about her behaviour. With an ending that is both dramatic and emotional, this was an entertaining and absorbing read that I would thoroughly recommend.