This story was too long and too boring... the characters had so little chemistry...and the writing was so and so.

I tried really hard to get into this book because the synopsis sounded really good but I just couldn’t. I might try to pick it up again in the future because maybe I just wasn’t in the right mindset at the time so I might end up liking it in the future!

Unfortunately I had to purchase a new Kindle device and could no longer access this book. I will come back and review if I read this in the future.

Loved loved loved this book the way they meet and the story of the romance that followed and also the relationship with the son is beautiful

So wholesome and adorable! The blossoming friendship and relationships throughout this book made me say "aw" practically every few minutes. I thought all three of the main characters complimented each other nicely and it gave me some hope in humanity. Especially in these tough times.

Dan Wingreen pulled me in from the very first page of The Family We Make. These characters are complex, slightly flawed, and thoroughly real. Very little went the way I expected, and I loved it!

Mr. Wingreen has a smooth, flowing writing style, and I can’t wait to enjoy it some more. What a marvelous discovery for my to-be-read shelf.

What was my initial thought when I finished The Family We Make? “Things that would normally bug me about a character’s actions I could let slide in The Family We Make, simply because these characters were so delightfully real. ❤ ” I let this one sit for a few days before writing this review, and I still stand behind that thought.

It’s taken me a while to figure out how to approach this review. I finally decided to ignore the things that might bother some readers, just know that there are all sorts of trigger points. What I can say is that those triggers or those things that both Tim, Spencer and others did didn’t make me like them any less, they just made Tim and Spencer more human and in turn, more relatable. I’m a firm believer in forgiving people who do stupid things when they’re, well, young and stupid. I’m also aware that there are things that a lot of people (myself included) would do that may seem out of character if it involved protecting a loved one, especially a child.

As much as I loved Spencer, he did not make it easy. He was brash, sarcastic and more often than not had no filter between his brain and his mouth. His first meeting with Tim didn’t go well and would have been a total failure, if not for Connor. I loved the interactions between both Connor and Tim and Connor and Spencer. Their love and concern for Connor was the thing that brought them together, but it didn’t happen over night. They both had too much personal history to jump into anything, especially they didn’t really like each other despite their physical attraction.

There was a lot to love about The Family We Make. I adored the relationship between father and son as much as I loved the budding relationship between Tim and Connor. The slow burn between Spencer and Tim was realistic and the sense of family was strong even before the characters realized what was happening. Was it a perfect story? Of course not. There were things that could have probably been left out, but even those things drove the story where it needed to go. This was my first Dan Wingreen book, but now that he’s on my radar, I’m pretty sure it won’t be my last.

Spencer Kent is a 28 year old father to his mini-me, Connor, who is 14. Yep, teen dad was trying prove something when he got a girl prego in 8th grade. Heterosexuality didn't take, however, and Spencer has long since given up on finding a man who will actually want to be with him and his son. He only dated two guys in college, and that was a long time ago. Thankfully, Spencer's parents were totally supportive, helping to raise Connor so Spencer could complete high school and college. Connor is as gangly and awkward as his father was in his teens. He's also got big abandonment issues because he never knew his mother and his dad was away at college for a couple of years--until his parents moved house from New York to Ohio so that Spencer could live with his son and commute for his schooling.

Spencer and Connor now live in Chicago, in a house Gram and Gramps bought, where Spencer is a literature teacher--one of those cringe-y mean ones, in fact. He's a lot of bluster and fuss, forcing young minds into actual introspection and critical thinking and learning. So, there's that. Connor is a freshman at Spencer's school, yet, somehow no one knows this. Connor is even placed into Spencer's literature class, which Spencer likes because he wants to keep a close eye on his son. And, what he notices--beyond the bullies Connor refuses to report--is that Connor has no friends. Not one. And this distresses Spencer on an acute level. His good friend Cass, a fellow teacher, urges Spencer to take Connor to a nearby Big Brother-type organization run by her ex-husband. There, Cass states, Connor can meet a college-aged volunteer who will befriend him and help him gain social and emotional skills to be successful.

Tim Ellis thought he'd be pursuing his doctorate in child psychology this fall, and planning his wedding, too. Unfortunately, one of his professors refused to recommend him to a program without sexual favors in exchange, and Tim is convinced his refusal has him blacklisted. Then, his crappy boyfriend got mad that he wasn't going to grad school and left him, taking his kinda-fake friends in the bargain. Working as a baker, Tim is feeling really low in terms of self-esteem and joins a volunteer organization to work with children who could use a positive influence in their lives. He's used to working with younger kids, but the director says their program mainly caters to teens. His first two mentees are not a good fit, and he's afraid the director will bounce him out if he doesn't connect to candidate number three.

Tim is wary when he meets both Connor and his dad Spencer for the first time; most kids arrive at the youth center without their parents. He's panicked when Spencer's acidic questions impugn him as a possible child molester. It's a bad scene and only Connor's near-terminal embarrassment at his father's behavior squelches the ugly interaction. Tim realizes Spencer's over-protectiveness is a product of his deep love for Connor, which is a boon. And, he and Connor do hit it off when on their own. Their friendship is beneficial for Connor and Tim, and Spencer sees a positive change in Connor, so he's happy. He's also lonely, as I mentioned before. So, when he and Tim encounter each other in a grocery, he's willing to let Tim help him out with food on the high shelf and maybe meal suggestions.

So, Spencer and Tim develop a bit of a friendship too, and Tim becomes a regular member in the Kent home. Their increased familiarity feeds a mutual attraction that neither man thought was viable. And, when physical affection becomes the next step, they each need to figure out if this is a relationship that can grow in their lives. Tim was gun-shy about finding a new guy, and Spencer never thought a guy would find him attractive--especially a young, fit guy like Tim.

This is a sweet, slow-burn of a romance for an insecure dad and an insecure college grad. The characters have enough backstory and issues to read like real people. Connor's challenges with anxiety and shyness are genuinely helped by his friendship with Tim, and his growth supports the emotional growth of both Tim and Spencer. There are diverting side stories that keep the story widening out so it's not just connection and consummation. Political games in Spencer's school, the issue with ongoing bullying, and the seemingly aimless direction of Tim's life all bring texture and context to the story. I liked Tim more than Spencer, mainly because Tim is a likeable guy. Spencer is lovable, but one needs to crack beneath his sarcastic shell and see the vulnerability within. Tim is successful at this because of his deep bond with Connor. A bond that doesn't break once Connor learns that Tim and his dad are in a romantic tangle. Connor is a great kid, and I was glad to see him catch some breaks in the end.

If you like romances where the curmudeon turns into a marshmallow with the help of the right lover, and positive father-son relationship stories, you'll probably dig this one.

This book was about a single dad who helps his son (Connor) tackle bullying and low self esteem issues at school. It was adorable that Spencer tried to help him even though he also suffers from low self esteem. I loved Connor. I thought he was sweet and a bit naive for a teen. I wanted to punish those bullies. Tim, the child’s buddy, was adorable in helping both son and father. I loved the slow burn story between Spencer and Tim. My only grievance was that there was too much internal dialogue. It was a bit over done. And I think that created a slow pace to the story. The ending was good. It was a pleasant book that I would recommend to others.

I received a copy from the publisher through Netgalley in exchange for my honest review.

Dan Wingreen’s The Family We Make is a charming, funny and incredibly touching contemporary romance featuring a single dad with a teenaged son and a guy who feels as though he’s lost his way in life. It’s well-written and sharply observed, with brilliantly drawn relationships, a teenager who speaks and acts like one and two complex, flawed and utterly endearing leads. I pretty much inhaled it, and even though there were a couple of things that didn’t quite work for me, I adored it and came away from it with a huge smile on my face.

At twenty-eight, teacher Spencer Kent has been a father for half his life. His son Connor – the result of a drunken more-than-fumble when he was just thirteen – is the centre of his universe; which is not to say that life is plain sailing and they don’t have their ‘moments’, especially now Connor is a teenager, but Spencer adores him and wouldn’t have things any other way. Becoming a father so young, though, has been a bit of a struggle; Spencer had help from his parents in the early days, and they took care of Connor while Spencer went to college, but it’s just been him and Connor for a decade and even now he is never sure he’s doing the right thing – something any parent of any age will identify with. But most of the time, things between them are pretty good, and if Spencer is sometimes lonely for adult companionship and conversation, if he’s missed out on his chance to find ‘the one’ – because what gay man his age is going to want to take on a teenaged boy as well? – then that’s the way it is. Having Connor in his life more than makes up for it.

Connor is fairly quiet and reserved, but it comes as a shock when Spencer discovers his son doesn’t have any friends and that he’s being bullied, and he panics. How can he not have noticed something that important? When a colleague recommends he signs Connor up for the local Big Brother program, he thinks it’s worth considering, and after a discussion (and a hefty bribe!) Connor agrees to give it a try.

Tim Ellis finished his psychology degree and intended to continue his studies at grad school, but dropped the idea when his professor made it clear that his acceptance to the master’s program was dependent on Tim’s having sex with him – and when he refused, the man threatened to blackball him at all the other colleges in the area. Tim broke up with his manipulative boyfriend a few months back, his mother is forever on at him to come home, to do this, or that, and instead of embarking on the career in child psychology he’d planned on, he’s back working at a friend’s bakery. He’s fed up and feeling useless, the one bright spot in his life his volunteer work at the local youth centre. Which is, of course, where he meets Spencer and Connor.

To say that Spencer and Tim get off on the wrong foot at their first meeting is an understatement of massive proportions, and they part actually hoping never to see each other again! Fortunately however, Tim and Connor get along really well, and their growing friendship eventually expands to include Spencer, and I loved watching Tim and Spencer become friends, then fall in love, and the three of them gradually become a family.

The story is told from Spencer’s and Tim’s viewpoints, but really there are three main characters, as Connor is integral to the story without overwhelming or unbalancing it. I adored all three of them; the characterisation is superb, and they’re all fully-rounded, complex individuals whose flaws and insecurities combine to make them feel incredibly real, and the dialogue is sharply focused and often very funny. Spencer is a bit chaotic, but he’s also hilarious – he’s cynical and sarcastic and has no brain-to-mouth filter (sometimes Connor seems to be the more mature of the two of them!), but his snarkiness is clearly a defence mechanism. Tim thinks he’s adorable, and it’s true – beneath the waspishness, he’s rather charming. Tim is six years younger, but seems to be a bit more ‘together’; he’s also the more sexually experienced of the two, which makes sense given Spencer has put his social and dating life in order to parent Connor.

The book tackles a number of serious issues, from the problems of being a father at fourteen to how to parent a child close to you in age, to how to protect and support that child in a way that still allows them to acquire the independence they need as they grow up. One of the things the author does very well is to expose the difficulties involved in handling bullying at school; as a teacher myself, it’s something I come up against a lot and while schools do their best, they can only do so much. And while I’m on the subject of school and teaching, the only parts of the book that didn’t work for me were mostly related to Spencer’s job. Some of the things he did and said (like texting during a lesson) were unprofessional (and here in the UK would have probably led to disciplinary action), and there’s an odd sub-plot relating to a female teacher who is widely known to sleep with older students, and who is still in a job. Here, she’d have been suspended at the merest whiff of a suspicion, let alone actual complaints.

Those things apart however, I loved The Family We Make and recommend it highly. The familial relationships that develop between Tim, Spencer and Connor are really well done, and the friendship between Tim and Connor, especially how Tim is absolutely there for Connor and makes sure to respect his privacy, was lovely to watch developing. There are some wonderful moments of raw emotion that perfectly capture the ups and downs of family life, and of what it’s like to love another person so much it hurts that really hit me in the feels, and the romance is a lovely, angst-free slow-burn. I loved that once Spencer and Tim start dating (and having sex), they’re exactly the same people with the same sense of dry humour and ability to snark back and forth that they always were, and by the end, I was completely convinced that these guys – all of them – were going to be together for the long haul.

The Family We Make is cute, funny, insightful, sexy and utterly delightful. It’s the fabulous feel-good read I didn’t know I needed in my life, and I’m so glad to have found it.

A- / 4.5 stars

This has some really good elements - flawed but fantastic main characters; a teen boy who develops realistically; some twisty, turny plot points keeping the narrative drive interesting, and a love story with heart and happiness.

Thanks to Netgalley for giving me this book. It's already been out for a couple of weeks. If you are looking for an immersive mm romance that provides both humour and a little bit of heart-break, this is for you. It takes time for Spencer and Tim to get together, but that makes the story stronger, and when they do find each other, the commitment is real.

I really liked the role Connor played, but yes, be aware there are some unsavoury characters who take advantage of their position and power to reduce the self-worth of our deserving boys (all three of them).

I enjoyed this a lot.

I hardcore fell in love with these characters. Here’s our cast:

-Spencer: 28 year-old single dad with a 14 year-old son, Connor. His maturity level sometimes matched that of his son’s, but the fierce love and protectiveness won me over.
-Tim: 22 year-old feeling stuck in life who volunteers as a Big Brother, where he meets Connor.
-Connor: Spencer’s 14 year-old son who is dealing with bullies and a lack of friendship in his life until Tim enters the picture.

The title of this book is The Family We Make and it truly felt so accurate. It was evident from the beginning how each character was crying out for a family or some love.

So many emotional and serious issues were part of this, but you never felt overwhelmed or bogged down. The humor and lightness of some of the dialogue helped keep you interested without feeling like it disregarded the seriousness of the situations. Bullying, teen pregnancy, homophobia? Name it and you got it here.

Regarding the heat? This was a slow burn, as Spencer and Tim go from adversaries to reluctant friends to wham bam in love. Their relationship progressed quickly once they truly became a couple, and the intimate scenes were well written, sexy, and realistic.

My first book by Dan Wingreen but hopefully not my last.

The Family We Make by Dan Wingreen is a contemporary romance. Spencer Kent gave up on love a long time ago. As a twenty-eight-year-old single father with a fourteen-year-old son, Connor, he knows his appeal to the average gay man is limited, and when you factor in his low self-esteem and tendencies towards rudeness and sarcasm, it might as well be nonexistent. But that’s okay. A man is the last thing Spencer needs or wants.Tim Ellis’s life is falling apart around him. After four years of hard work at college, he finds himself blacklisted from the career of his dreams by the professor he refused to sleep with and abandoned by the boyfriend he thought he was going to marry. Even though he was lucky enough to land a job at a bakery, he still feels like a failure.Tim and Spencer’s first meeting is filled with turbulent misunderstanding, but Tim makes a connection with Connor through a Big Brother/Big Sister program, and both men put aside their mutual dislike for his sake. By letting go, they may help each other find their way into a life they never could have imagined.

The Family We Make is a sweet romance that spends as much time on character development as it does the romance. I enjoyed how well developed the major and secondary characters were. I also thought knowing the inner insecurities and anxieties of both Time and Spencer made their relationship and interactions even sweeter. This book ticked all the boxes for what I enjoy in a slow burn, friends to lovers romance, and a single father romance. I loved getting to know the characters, and thought everything was very well done. However, I have to admit that for some reason I just never connected with the story. At about the halfway point I started to get bored. I kept reading, because I did want to see how it all played out and I wanted to see the HEA- but I caught myself skimming descriptions and Spencer's latest worries until the end. I am not sure if I just was not in the mood for the book or style because I could find nothing actually wrong with the book. It just left me a little uninterested by the end.

The Family We Make is an emotional romance that hits several great tropes, and has very well developed characters.

DAN WINGRE – THE FAMILY WE MAKE

I read this novel in advance of publication through NetGalley in return for an honest review.

Often, unless you are a gay author of the stature of Alan Hollinghurst or Anthony McDonald, with a great track-record, most gay-themed novels I have read recently have been disappointing. Happily, The Family We Make, is the exception.

Told in cheerful modern America prose, the story concerns Spencer, a diminutive and youthful looking teacher, his sometimes tempestuous and very caring relationship with his teen son Connor, who was conceived one drunken night when he was 14, and Tim, struggling to launch a new counselling career, always the bridegroom, never the bride.

The story is simple. They bump into each other through problems Connor is having with bullies at school, and Tim becomes a friend to them both, and they a family to him. But it is the way it’s told that counts here. You can believe in the characters, you empathise with them, you want them to succeed. No prizes for guessing that they do. But, like all romances, it is the quality of the journey that counts.

I have read this through lockdown, and I am sorry that I have finished their story, for, though strangers to me at first, for the duration of the book, they became friends.

Hopefully other equally enjoyable tales will emerge from this author. I for one am waiting.

4.75 Stars - Dan Wingreen’s ‘The Family We Make” is a nearly perfect M/M romance novel

This is the first book written by Mr. Wingreen that I’ve read. It definitely won’t be the last.

Writing with both humor and sensitivity about subjects like personal insecurity, low self esteem, verbal and physical abuse, and especially bullying, Wingreen has created wonderful, identifiable characters; characters I quickly became attracted to. I laughed out loud, cried, and experienced the incredible empathy of these characters who, over time, transformed from doubt into genuine love. A true family.

Spencer Kent is a 28 year old Chicago high school English teacher who lives with his 14 year old son, Connor, a high school freshman. Tim Ellis, when we first meet him, is a 22 year old assistant baker with an undergraduate degree in psychology. They’re all very caring people, but each is dealing with his own personal issues.

Cass Baker, another single parent teacher in Spencer’s school, beautifully summed up one of the novel’s major issues when she told Spencer, “No one can push your buttons like your own child.”

Cass also told Spencer he needed someone else - an adult - in his life. Her advice was almost prophetic when she said, “You don’t need to find the perfect guy, Spencer. Just the perfect guy for you.” That advice was almost prophetic because it turns out that Tim is both a perfect guy and the perfect guy for Spencer and Connor.

One character and her behavior throughout is more than slightly off-putting. Steph is a nasty, manipulative female teacher in Spencer’s school who has been reported multiple times for possibly engaging in sexual activity with her underaged male students. My primary concern with ‘The Family We Make’ is Steph’s character and the role she played in the story’s resolution. I do wish the author had chosen a different character and a better way to address that particular section of the narrative.

Before your read this book please take note of the publisher’s warning that there are references to attempted sexual coercion by a male professor towards a male college student and references to a female high school teacher [Steph] having sexual relations with unnamed underage male students.

With that caveat, I couldn’t recommend ‘The Family We Make’ more highly.

I received an Advance Review Copy of ‘The Family We Make’ from NetGalley and NineStar Press in exchange for an honest review. #The Family We Make #NetGalley

The book centers two main characters, Spencer Kent and Tim Ellis. Spencer is a twenty eight years old single father with a fourteen year old son, Connor. He teaches literature at the same school where Connor goes and one day he finds out about the big brother/big sister program run by the ex husband of his colleague. Once finding about his son getting bullied at school and how he has no friends, he talks to Connor to join this program. Tim Ellis’s life has been falling apart from the day he refused to sleep with his college professor and got no more study programs in return and by breaking up with his toxic boyfriend whom he thought he was going to marry. Now, Tim works at a bakery and due to his mother’s enforcement, he’s working at a bakery.
This book’s prime focus was on how important families are and how people need to be with each other through thin and thick to stay afloat. The father/son relationship was done so perfectly and was relatable at another level. On the other hand, Tim and Spencer fall in love quite fast, but it was reasonable. It was gradually happening and then it happened all at once and it felt so right that way.
The characters were detailed quite nicely and I didn’t get confused about them at all. The tones of each character were different and I lived for those descriptions. They were humorous at times and then there was emotional tension between them.
I had one issue with this book that’s related to the writing style. I loved all the conversations but the scenes were overdetailed. The pacing of the book wasn’t affected by dragged scenes, but I don’t think the pacing would be affected if the book was shorter than this either. The writing style made me feel exhausted while reading this book.

A heartwarming read with hidden depths, this novel pulled me in with it’s beautiful depiction of the relationship between Connor and Spencer.
Their bond as farther and son was a beautiful and loving one. Full of ups and downs it was so real and caring you couldn’t help but smile.
Then throw in Tim a beautiful person who has been through hardships of his own, who forged bonds with Spencer and Connor and crated a family unit that was more.
Here you have two adults supporting and loving a child as they navigate through the horrors of high school. Here you have two adults finding love for themselves.
A really enjoyable and pleasant read.

I absolutely ADORED this "family of your own making" story from start to finish and can't recommend it strongly enough. It was exactly the story that I'd hoped for after being pulled in by the blurb.

At 28, short and kind of bitchy Spencer had already been a dad for half of his life. His 14 y.o. son, Connor, was the sole focus of his personal life, while making his freshman English Literature students miserable was the main joy of his professional life.

But when Connor started getting bullied at school and Spencer realized that his son had zero friends, on the advice of his best friend, Spencer decided to enroll Connor in a Big Brothers program in hopes of helping him not feel quite so alone.

At 22, tall and confident Tim had finished his undergraduate degree in Psychology, but thanks to being blackballed from Masters programs by a professor's sexual harassment, he'd put his dreams of grad school on hold, falling back to being a baker until he was able to regroup and move forward.

Then when Tim decided to volunteer at a local youth center, the last thing that he expected was for the Little Brother that he was assigned to have such an abrasive dad who straight-up accused him of [ [NOPE, not telling] (hide spoiler)] -- before they'd so much as had a real conversation.

So saying that Spencer and Tim got off on the wrong foot would be a huge understatement, with both men hoping to never, ever, ever cross paths again.

But as Tim and Connor's friendship drew them closer and closer, Tim extended an olive branch to Spencer, which was reluctantly taken, pulling Tim more deeply into the lives of both Spencer and his son, leading to Spencer and Tim's own friendship starting to take root.

“I’m being a huge asshole. Again. I’m sorry.”

“Is it…because of me?”

Spencer turned his head enough so one eye was visible. “Am I an asshole because of you? No. I’m an asshole because I’m an asshole.”

I loved how complex all three of the main characters were. Spencer's walls of snark were hiding deep insecurities, while Connor's shy loneliness was severely holding him back, and Tim's facade of happy confidence was masking his own fears of his future.

But together, all three of them just worked, almost effortlessly. They clicked, when things should have been much more difficult than they actually were, which I loved reading.

He buried his face in Tim’s shirt and cried.

He cried for himself because Tim understood, but mostly he cried for Connor. Connor, who was joy and light and life and frustration and fear and anger and sarcasm and laughter and a million other indefinable things so many people never bothered to learn. He cried because so many people would rather he never existed because they couldn’t see him as anything other than a moral point to make where Tim just saw Connor.

He cried because, sometimes, there’s nothing else a person can do.

Aside from the feels, this story also contained tons and tons of spot-on dry humor, snark, and banter, so the more serious moments never seemed to get too heavy.

Like when Spencer and Connor were having their own personal World War 3 over Connor refusing to tell his dad the identities of his bullies, for example.

“Can we go now?” Connor called. A quick glance showed he still had his back turned, but his arms were still crossed, and his hip was cocked, and he was actually tapping his foot.

That’s so cute…

“Sickening, isn’t it? Like looking at four sleepy puppies kind of adorable.”

Also, when Spencer and Tim finally started dating (and having sex), the same odd-ball humor was still firmly in place, so I constantly found myself smiling and laughing.

He smacked Tim’s ass again, just because he could, then grinned. “Fuck yeah.”

I’m in charge now, bitch.

He grimaced. Apparently, there was a definite upper limit to how dommy Spencer could be without feeling icky and uncomfortable.

The only thing that I would note is that there was one "woman's right to choose" part, which while not entirely young 14 y.o. Spencer's fault, the opinion that he voiced here in the book will likely result in a few rants from a reader or two. But I got it. How could a loving father feel any other way about the son who he'd adored for fourteen years?

In spite of that one controversial part, I do suspect that there will be a lot of readers who enjoy the story as much as I did.

And for those worried that the story might be too kid-centric, I found Connor to be an integral character, while not being completely omni-present.

I'd rate this story at 4.5 stars, rounding up to a full 5 stars.

Very enjoyable book! Low angst but massive character/relationship development. I appreciated that the single dad (Spencer) was younger and didn't have it all together. The relationship with his son was evolving and I thought the author developed that in a humorous yet heart tugging way. I adored Spencer! He was such a fun character. The chemistry between he and Tim was definitely hot but it was a good slow burn. The side stories of bullying and the other teacher gave some foundation for both the angst and the resolution. Would definitely recommend reading.

I adored almost everything about this one!

I inhaled this so quickly that I didn't even slow down to highlight anything, which I regret now as I struggle to think of how to convince everyone to read it. But honestly it speaks volumes for how much I enjoyed it.

So read this one if you like
- the single parent trope
- slow burn
- awkward, honest romance
- smiling so hard your cheeks hurt

Spencer missed out on dating and love, but got lucky with a wonderful teenage son. He thinks he missed his chance for 'the one 'even though he's still young. He is sarcastic, cynical and pretty hilarious.
When Tim, through the local Youth program, becomes friends with Connor and eventually Spencer, they don't know how lucky they've gotten.

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.