Due to a sudden, unexpected passing in the family a few years ago and another more recently and my subsequent (mental) health issues stemming from that, I was unable to download this book in time to review it before it was archived as I did not visit this site for several years after the bereavements. This meant I didn't read or venture onto netgalley for years as not only did it remind me of that person as they shared my passion for reading, but I also struggled to maintain interest in anything due to overwhelming depression. I was therefore unable to download this title in time and so I couldn't give a review as it wasn't successfully acquired before it was archived. The second issue that has happened with some of my other books is that I had them downloaded to one particular device and said device is now defunct, so I have no access to those books anymore, sadly.

This means I can't leave an accurate reflection of my feelings towards the book as I am unable to read it now and so I am leaving a message of explanation instead. I am now back to reading and reviewing full time as once considerable time had passed I have found that books have been helping me significantly in terms of my mindset and mental health - this was after having no interest in anything for quite a number of years after the passings. Anything requested and approved will be read and a review written and posted to Amazon (where I am a Hall of Famer & Top Reviewer), Goodreads (where I have several thousand friends and the same amount who follow my reviews) and Waterstones (or Barnes & Noble if the publisher is American based). Thank you for the opportunity and apologies for the inconvenience.

Difficult to know what to say about this book. I have to be honest I found it profoundly depressing and very nearly gave up on it several times. It's basically Holloway's search for meaning in life if, as Holloway keeps adding, there *is* any meaning in life. I often found myself wondering if Holloway is actually aware that there are many reputed scholars in both the sciences and arts world who answer all of Holloway's points. I don't know if Holloway is aware of this because he doesn't interact with them. I was put off by his attitude as well which came across to me as frequently patronising and sarcastic. Holloway's position, as he states himself, is he lives 'in the contradiction' and is happy inhabiting a viewpoint where he combines both theism and atheism, attempting to live for God but in a universe without God. He also asks early on why people who have already decided their own viewpoint can't just live their own lives in quietness without trying to tell everyone else. The problem is that the author doesn't do this, why write the book and display a sometimes patronising attitude when he could keep his own views quietly to himself? Jesus himself tells us to spread his message. I'm afraid, in my view, his understanding of the breadth of theological opinion is limited to say the least, or else he might not see the need to attack six day creationism so much (I disagree with six day creationism just to be clear). He also misinterprets or misunderstands multiple biblical passages and seems to have an axe to grind against Christianity in particular (or at least the more evangelical orthodox wing) and organised religion in general. I don't think it's spoiler territory to say he ends the book stating he is a Christian but you'll have to read the book to understand what he means by that, it's not something any Christian I know would recognise as Christianity. This is the problem though, Holloway reduces the Bible and other sources of meaning, as "just stories" and reiterates this point many times. By this view though these stories have no basis in reality so it's difficult to see how you can legitimately criticise one over another. He says you can fight evil and exercise love without God yet does nothing to explain how you arrive at concepts like evil and love without God? In my view Holloway is a humanist and his view that much of our thinking about God has him engaging in terrible acts (at one point he describes God as "God the Nazi"), shows God is simply a projection of human thought. Unfortunately this also means that Holloway's own position is the same, nothing more than the projection of his own mind. I'm afraid this book is too theologically and philosophically weak and full of unsupportable contradictions for me to recommend it. I'm sure those of a humanist persuasion will appreciate some of it although even they will have questions. The best I can say is that it is a readable book, easy reading if you don't mind all the contradictions and intermittent sarcasm. The biggest difficulty is that the author is trying to straddle two incompatible worlds, theism and atheism and perhaps that's the main stumbling block in Holloway's search. He can't quite give up his 'Christian' identity but can't reconcile the terrible suffering in the world with God's existence. That position itself is understandable and many will sympathise and he describes it well.. Unfortunately the 'solution' of trying to straddle both worlds whilst reducing Jesus to the status of moral revolutionary, is why the boat he sails is still filled with holes and at times I felt myself drowning (those times I nearly put the book down). I truly hope Holloway finds the meaning he craves and I sincerely hope this book is but a step on his road to finding that meaning. His thought processes are just too full of holes and the attitude too patronising at times for me to recommend this. I'm giving it a star for the writing style and a star for the fact that it did get me thinking, which I do appreciate. .

Thanks to NetGalley and Canongate for ARC.

An interesting read, whilst I disagreed with the author, it was well written and engaging. I also absolutely love the cover!