This is the most heartbreaking, raw portrayal of grief I have EVER read in a novel and my gosh it is stunning! This is the stay with you forever, can't sleep until you have finished the whole book kinda story.
Jen is adopted, She's an only child and lives with her Mum and Dad when they have a miracle child Kerry.
Jen and Kerry are inseparable, they belong together until a tragic accident takes place and Kerry sadly passes away.
Understandly grief stricken Jen loses control and is broken. It seems like its irreparable but can the love of her Husband, Ed and her two children save her? Can she fully say goodbye to her sister?

I read this mainly during my commute on public transport and got a few dodgy looks when I sat on the bus trying my hardest not to weep! The way Emma writes her characters is nothing short of exquisite. There's so much emotion behind each one and they are all so likeable you really feel so much empathy.

Ed is a dreamboat honestly he restored my faith in not only men but humanity. I think we all secretly hope we are either with or gonna end up with someone like him. Just his humility and resilience made my heart ache for him as much as it did Jen.
Theres so much heart and love and warmth this family unit has it really is such a gorgeous yet heart wrenching story. Jen is beyond brave, someone who has my utmost admiration pretty much like Emma Cooper does for writing this amazing book. Excuse me while I go and read everything shes ever wrote!

If I Could Say Goodbye is a heartwarming exploration of grief, moving on and learning to live again after loss that also examines how mental health is affected by trauma, loss and guilt, this book was a surprising balm for my soul.

When Jen’s sister Kerry is killed after being hit by a car, she not only loses her sister, but her best friend too. The pair were inseparable. Her grief is further magnified by the guilt she feels as Kerry died after pushing her out of the way of the car. Jen feels she should have been the one to die that day and can’t come to terms with why she was spared instead of the sister she adored. As she descends deeper into her grief, those around her watch helplessly as they wonder if Jen will ever find the strength to let go, move on and live life without her sister by her side.

This was so beautifully written. Intricate, layered and moving, the overwhelming sense of loss is palpable, emanating from every page. But with exquisite skill, the author has laced the poignant prose with humour that lightens the heavy subject matter. The characters were relatable, likeable and richly drawn and the story took me on a journey I didn’t expect as Jen’s mental health began to deteriorate. I found I saw a lot of myself in Jen and could relate to her guilt over not doing more to save a loved one and her spiraling mental health that ultimately led to breakdown. The author captures perfectly the feeling of knowing you’re going over the edge and breaking but also being unable to stop it. But the character who broke me was Ed, for in him I saw my partner and for the first time truly felt like I understood how it was for him when I was at my lowest points. I felt like I was living every moment beside these characters and was completely absorbed and invested in their lives.

Powerful, immersive, heart-wrenching and hopeful, this is one of those books that simply needs to be experienced. So, please read it. Just make sure you’ve got some tissues nearby when you do. I’m now off to buy Emma Cooper’s back catalogue...

There are not many authors that make me cry JoJo Moyes is one, Emma Cooper is another.

I am really going to struggle to convey the feelings and thoughts that this book gave me but I will try. The book begin with a tragic accident in which Kerry, Jen’s beloved younger sister is killed trying to save her.

We pick the story up 3 months later and Jen starts to come out of her grief stricken fog and starts to act in an out of character way. To begin with she is jumping on her husband Ed at every opportunity, at the start he thinks this is great but soon feels that something is not quite right with Jen. She is usually very house proud and a perfect Mum and she slowly begins to slip away from her family. She meets up with Nessa who was Kerry’s fiance and she soon discovers that she is finding life without Kerry just as difficult. The story is told from the perspectives of Jen and of Ed.

Jen who so absorbed in her guilt and grief that she cannot function as she did before and Ed who is on looking knowing that his wife is slipping away before his eyes and does not know what to do. Ed is at his wit’s end when he persuades her to go to the Doctors but is it too late ?

I absolutely loved this book, it is so beautifully written and Emma’s characters as always are wonderful, real and honest and true and even amongst all the sadness there is humour and family strength and values. It shows what grief can do and should never be underestimated. It is a tough read in places and it did make me cry. I have two sisters and the thought of losing either makes me so sad and I could empathise completely with the sadness that Jen feels. As an older sister it is your job to look after the younger ones and I really felt this. The way Emma writes about mental illness is with sensitivity and understanding is compassionate and caring.

Thank you Emma for another wonderful read this will stay with me for a long time.

This is a tale of grief, love and family life. It’s an absolutely stunning read, so beautifully and sensitively written, so emotive, so full of both sadness and joy , I’ve not laughed and cried so much in a long time. It’s not an easy read, it’s quite devastating at times as you go on Jens journey with her, the author deals with mental health so beautifully and sensitive , the importance of support and family is really well highlighted, it’s an amazing story, bring the tissues, but be ready to leave uplifted too

Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy for an honest opinion

I knew within the first 20 pages of starting If I Could Say Goodbye by Emma Cooper that it was going to become one of my favourite books of the year. Her beautiful writing drew me in immediately, how she conjures these amazingly likeable, relatable characters and makes you feel as though you’ve known them your whole life. I devoured this book in 2 days and I already miss it!

When Jen loses her sister Kerry in a tragic accident she is overcome with grief and guilt. Over time she begins to lose herself in her memories of Kerry, to the detriment of everything and everyone else. Her husband, Ed, and her two children are out of their minds with worry and nothing they do or say seems to get through to her. Will Jen ever be able to find the courage and inner strength to let go of her best friend and try to move on?

Chapters from Jen’s point of view alternate with chapters written from Ed’s perspective as the reader is shown how Kerry’s death, Jen’s consequent grief and serious and lengthy struggles with her mental health affect her marriage, relationships with her children and ability to effectively function on a day to day basis. These issues are handled in a thought-provoking and sensitive way, made all the more poignant as we are able to see first hand how special Jen and Kerry’s relationship was.

If I could marry a character in any book then Jen’s husband Ed would be right up there at the top of my list. But then, he’s so smitten with his actual wife he definitely wouldn’t be interested in me (also, I realise, he is fictional). I thought what this book did particularly well was to show how vital support from family members can be to those struggling with feelings of regret and loss. Without Ed’s patience, perseverance and love this would have been a very different story.

It seemed unlikely, I thought, that a novel that deals with the death of a sibling, grief and difficulties in letting go would be uplifting. But this book is so so far from dark and depressing. Yes, it has its sad, lump in throat moments. But it’s also so witty, funny, and full of love and hope that it left me feeling all positive and with a heart that was thoroughly warmed!

This was the first of Emma Cooper’s novels that I’ve ever read but it certainly won’t be my last. A beautiful book both inside and out.

With thanks to Headline Books for gifting me a digital copy to review.

This is Emma Cooper's third published novel and in my opinion her best so far. I rate her so highly as an excellent storyteller, character constructor and tear-inducer; there's a real skill to her ability to write in such a raw, personal way and yet inject endearing humour and every day reality in to the plot.

Following her sister's sudden death, Jennifer is catapulted in to a double life; trying desperately to be the wife and Mum she longs to be whilst battling a crippling and complicated grief that anchors her in another reality, one she finds increasingly harder to let go of. You also see the perspective of Ed, her husband, as he tries to help her and their children through both the grief and the every day normalcy of school fairs etc.

I felt it very accurately portrayed the juggling that happens between self and parenthood and relationships, as well as the raw journey of grief and the strong bonds of love that we have in our lives if we are lucky.

The characters are each absolute masterpieces, with something infectious that gets under your skin and makes you truly feel their joy and their heartbreak.

It has a sad theme no doubt but the book is uplifting I promise you, the final chapter had me undone, it is so pure and was the perfect way to tie up the story.

I highly recommend this book to be devoured and experienced, such a powerful and moving look at grief and love

Thank you to the publisher for inviting me to review this book via Netgalley, all opinions are entirely my own.

This is an emotional and empathetic story about family, love, loss and loving life to the fullest. I think we can all relate to the complexities of grief and Emma writes it so well!

For fans of Emma Cooper’s previous two books, be warned this is a very different type of story - it’s feel, characters and the journey they go on. And this book shouldn’t be compared to them either.

Jen’s story is a hard one. I don’t want to give any spoilers, but she’s on a difficult path following the death of her beloved sister and with her deep feelings of guilt because of Kerry’s death. And it’s the aftermath of Kerry’s death and Jen’s struggles that is the main premise. There’s some really heartbreaking moments; when Jen moves back home to her mum and dad’s, Ed and Nessa’s heart to heart and the ending.

It’s not an easy read as you follow Jen’s story as her mental health declines, stuck in the grief. I lost my way a bit, during the story and I found it hard to relate to Jen in parts particularly with the intense love she has for her dead sister. But this is a love story, the story of the love each sister feels for the other. I really felt for Ed - as he started off in the story as the sort of comic relief given the heavy subject matter, but as it progresses you see the impact on him as the remaining parent and concerned husband. Cooper does a great job in showing how mental illness can affect all those involved, and that makes it even more heartbreaking. A change in direction in the type of story telling - but this is an important story to tell.

⚠️ Reader caution and possible spoilers - deals heavily with grief and the affects on someone’s mental health and this takes them to some really dark places, including thoughts of suicide ⚠️

Brilliant. I feel like I have just been on an emotional rollercoaster. I laughed and nearly cried my way through this book. This story is about trying to cope with loss. It also about family and love. It is beautifully written and I got totally caught up in what was happening.

Thank you to Netgalley for my copy.

This was my first book by this author and what a heartbreaking story. Following the ups and downs of the aftermath of Jennifer’s sister Kerry being killed in a tragic accident this story was written in such a beautiful style. I found the book a little bit of a challenge to get into at first as it is told primarily from Jennifer’s perspective as she journeys through her horrendous grief and her hallucinations plus the way the narrative frequently moved from past to present was hard to grasp at first. Once I got used to it though I really enjoyed this story which dealt with such important issues around mental health, grief and the impact on both Jennifer and her family after such a horrendous event.. I highly recommend this book.

Thank you netgalley for the opportunity to read and review this book.

It is a fantastic tale of grief, love and family life. Very emotive and sensitively written. The support and love between the characters was great and really made me feel the story.

Wow well Emma you’ve done it again. Another beautiful yet heartbreaking book. If your going to read this make sure to get the tissues ready. I felt the characters emotion each step of the way. Beautifully written. A must read!

After Jennifer’s sister Kerry dies, Jennifer struggles with her grief.
Her whole family feels the strain with her grief as she ‘sees’ Kerry and communicates with her.
Jennifer risks losing her husband Ed and their two children as she spirals down into her grief.
Throughout the book emotions are high as a reader, you are aware that Jennifer will grieve again when she stops ‘seeing’ Kerry.
This is a moving story surrounding the topic of grief and how it affects not just one person but as a family and those around.
It is not all doom and gloom there are a few comical moments and reminiscing moments too.
This is the first book I have read by Emma Cooper and look forward to reading more.
Thank you Netgalley and Headline for this ARC in return for an honest review.

This is my third Emma Cooper book and having loved her previous two books, I was eager to read this, her next book.

Whilst totally different from the others, it was still thoroughly enjoyable, making me cry and sob and tense with anticipation and worry in equal measure.

The story lets us into the worlds of Jen, a recently grief stricken woman who has lost her younger sister in tragic circumstances. Ed her deliciously caring and concerned husband and their two children Hailey & Oscar. It cleverly takes you along with Jen and her startlingly clear memories / visions of Kerry, her dead sister.

Put all this alongside the normal day to day life pressures and trying to support Nessa, Kerry’s partner, who is clearly struggling and a heady mix of emotional rawness and loss of control develops. How can she let go of these ‘memories’ which are so clear to hear, even though it begins to destroy those she loved around her. There is some powerful imagery throughout making the scenes come to life in my head, very clear images of their home, school amongst others, particularly the last scenes (no spoilers here!)

I felt this story showed clearly the enormous power of grief & confusion alongside emotional trauma, taking you along the path with Jen. You feel her despair! She has an enveloping all- consuming grief which blurs her reality.

The impact on the whole family becomes clear as the story progresses. There wasn’t one character in this who didn’t draw my empathy and I certainly shed a few tears and at times was filled with dread and a sense of panic, trying to will Jen through her battles.

Ultimately this is a story which shows the power of love and the beauty of a life worth living.

This book delves into grief, told from the perspective of husband and wife, Ed and Jen. A heartbreaking read at times, full of emotion but at the very right time, humour too.

If you like stories of family life, from all perspectives, that tug on the heartstrings, this book is for you. You will become invested in these characters and their lives, grief and stories.

When Jen’s sister dies protecting her, Jen disappears down a spiral of guilt, shame and grief. Which not only impacts her life, but her husband and children’s lives too.

A book about grief and the loneliness of being left behind, make sure you read this with a box of tissues next to you.

If I could say goodbye by Emma Cooper is the first book I have read from the author. So, I was intrigued to know what her writing style is like as, I have heard good things about the author.
Jennifer Jones and her husband Ed are a normal couple with two children. But when Jennifer’s younger sister and best friend Kerry dies after saving her from being hit by a car. Their whole world changes. Jennifer is racked with so much guilt that she can’t cope with her sister dying and wishes that she died instead.
The repercussions of her death nearly split the family apart. The story is told by both Jennifer’s and Ed’s point of view. Where Ed is trying to juggle his life with work the kids and Jennifer. Jennifer thinks she is going mad as she can see Kerry and thinks that her family are better off without her.
This is a strong, emotionally driven story about grief and how one family copes with it and how they get through it to the other side. I found it interesting but, quite slow paced. I did like the times that Kerry showed up but no one else could see it was quite comical and reminded me of a film that I once watched. But other times I thought the grief was too much and I don’t think this will be everyone’s cup of tea.
Thank you Headline and NetGalley for a copy of this book

Three months after witnessing her sister’s death and thirty-year-old Jennifer Jones realises she hasn’t been living but merely existing. Overwhelmed by survivor’s guilt and troubled by thoughts that it should have been her who died when she starts to hallucinate visions of her twenty-five-year-old sister, complete with conversations, it leaves her feeling more isolated than ever. Unable to express her conflicting emotions to her family she determines to be a little more spontaneous and make the most of being alive with some adrenaline-fuelled experiences such as cliff jumping. But as Jen’s behaviour becomes more erratic and she detaches herself from family life, abandoning husband Ed and leaving her two children bewildered, it becomes far more worrying for all concerned.

The novel is primarily narrated from Jen’s perspective with a brief chapter every so often told from husband Ed’s point of view. The tone of the novel itself proved a little confusing for me as it varies throughout, opening as a bittersweet story of Jen realising how precious life is and suddenly behaving completely very out of character. I had difficulty with Jen’s almost constant hallucinations of Kerry as she pops up on the kitchen counter or sits next to Ed and makes humorous asides throughout dinner. This did not sit well with me and I found it a little too lighthearted especially considering that later on in the story the focus turns to the far more serious topic of debilitating mental health issues. I had expected a more emotive read than the novel actually proved however the narrative was very roundabout and at points felt like a bit of an aimless ramble. For me the novel was a typical representation of what I would consider women’s fiction but from reading the premise I had been expecting something reflective and rather more profound.

Although I heard about Kerry from Jen and others characters in the novel I would have appreciated seeing something of her whilst she was alive in order to get a sense of her larger than life persona and substantiate her intimate bond with Jen. The relationship between Jen and Kerry’s girlfriend, Nessa, never really rang true due to a complete lack of connection between the pair and I desperately wanted to hear more from Ed about his obviously tumultuous feelings about Jen’s state of mind. Finally I felt that although Jen would conceivably be numb in the wake of Kerry’s sudden death she would more than likely continue to go through the motions of family life as opposed to simply deserting her children.

3.5 rounded to 4
An emotional read about the depths of grief and it's affects on those left behind. Each of the characters left me with a different impact, and I felt that Ed's character grew the most, as he held his family together during the most difficult period.

I've never read a book by this author before and the blurb and cover were what attracted me to it. Unfortunately, it wasn't for me. I couldn't get into it. The characters didn't feel realistic and both Jen and Ed's POV sounded too the same. I'm not a fan of books where the characters kind of talk to the reader (let me tell you about....) so this put me off from the start. I read the first 30% of the book, but it just wasn't what I was looking for.