Cover Image: Dancing in the Mosque

Dancing in the Mosque

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Member Reviews

This book was not for me
I could not get into it at all
I found it very boring and uninteresting

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This is a beautiful book. It is not simply a memoir of misery and gloom, although there is sadness and grief and loss and anger here. This is much more. This is a real story, about a real woman, who had to make an incredibly difficult decision.
Because it is real, and because life is so much more complicated than simple ‘good’ and ‘bad’, there is humour here too, and laughter, and love and friendship. There are wonderful family relationships, and insights into a world that feels very different in some ways that shows how similar people actually are.
The writing is absolutely beautiful in places, and this is a story that carries you along, caring so deeply about the writer and what happens to her.
I find it difficult to review books like this because it is all to easy to point out the faults in another country when we don’t acknowledge the slow erosion of rights in our own country – particularly those of women and the LGBTQ+ community (especially when situations in other countries are often partly caused by the actions of this country). I prefer to let the women of these countries speak for themselves. Books like this are so important because they allow women a voice.
Highly recommended – a very important and beautiful book.

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Tough book to read, and though much of the fundamentalism drove me insane while reading, I can't say it really surprised me, having been raised in a traditional South Asian Muslim mindset which wasn't very far from the beliefs of the author's maternal grandmother. The patriarchy was also pushed to the limit - it is much less fundamental in South Asian Muslim nations/communities, though one can see how this could've been the same state of affairs under different circumstances - but it isn't hard to fathom this is what it is in Afghanistan. And while I felt for the plight of the author, I couldn't get behind her 100% because when you live in a world dominated by culture and mores, you either adapt or you stand out, with consequences. She chose to stand out, and she should be able to better face up to this state of affairs...
Still, this is poignant tale and not for the faint-hearted.
The writing could also have been better - yes, it is a translation, but to me, if I had seen the woman the author became before I got to see what a reckless child she was, I would've been better able to get behind her in this one

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This is an absolutely heartbreaking memoir chronicling Qaderi's childhood in Afghanistan, during first the Soviet-Afghan War and then the rise of the Taliban. She describes the atrocities experienced by her family and neighbours during this time, and also paints a fascinating and horrifying picture of the way extremism can infect an entire culture. Qaderi's strength and resilience shines through every chapter, but her desperation and grief is palpable too, making this an incredibly affecting and devastating read.

With regard to writing style and craft: the narration in the first few chapters is absolutely gorgeous and evocative - credit to both Qaderi and her initial translator, Vanisa Saffari - though I found the dialogue to be somewhat stilted and unnatural. The writing style in the later chapters also felt a little choppy; presumably a consequence of the fact that these were done by a different translator.

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In the days before Homeira Qaderi gave birth to her son, Siawash, the road to the hospital in Kabul would often be barricaded because of the frequent suicide explosions. With the city and the military on edge, it was not uncommon for an armed soldier to point his gun at the pregnant woman’s bulging stomach, terrified that she was hiding a bomb. Frightened and in pain, she was once forced to make her way on foot. Propelled by the love she held for her soon-to-be-born child, Homeira walked through blood and wreckage to reach the hospital doors. But the joy of her beautiful son’s birth was soon overshadowed by other dangers that would threaten her life.

This is the inspiring story of a very courageous young girl growing into a woman in Afghanistan. The book is to bear witness to the changes happening in her country, and on a more personal level to explain to her son (and to the reader) why she had to escape and leave him behind.

This is a first for me by the author and one I enjoyed and would read more of their work. The book cover is eye-catching and appealing and would spark my interest if in a bookshop. Thank you very much to the author, publisher and Netgalley for this ARC.

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“My grandmother believed that one of the most difficult tasks that the Almighty can assign anyone is being a girl in Afghanistan.”

This is the heartbreaking and inspiring story of Homeira Qaderi. She grows up in Afghanistan, where first the Russians come to war and later the Taliban is in power. She has always been brave and takes a lot of risks to get the most out of her life and to stand up for women’s rights. I admire how she always remains hopeful despite the oppression and fear she experiences every day. Eventually, Homeira becomes a mother and her son is taken from her when he is only 19 months old.. It is absolutely not a light read but it is beautifully written and insightful.

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What a must read book! She tells what life was like growing up in war torn Afghanistan, during the conflict with the Russians and then under the Taliban. Women had no voice and no status at all, so the fact that she was able to become educated and then have the courage to lift the veil to tell us her story is incredible.

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All stories are worthy of being vocalised and listened to but some are so inspirational, eye-opening and heart-wrenching that they deserve their own book; undoubtedly, this memoir falls into the latter category. It tells the story of a woman trying to live her life with the war in Afghanistan as a backdrop. I was deeply moved, touched and in awe of Homeira’s courage to write so honestly about her dreadful experiences and still see hope for herself in the future despite it seeming bleak, all-encompassing and never-ending at the time. Highly recommended.

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“This is a work of non-fiction.” Homeira Qaderi, an Afghan mother whose son, Siawash, she was forced to leave behind, begins her memoir with this statement of veracity. The devastating events of the narrative as it unfolds are all too true and tragic. Told with searing innocence through the eyes of Homeira as a little girl growing up in war-torn Afghanistan adds a poignant immediacy to the storytelling.

Each chapter ends with a letter written to Siawash, in the present, from the safety of Homeira’s exiled home in California. The reader therefore knows the outcome from the beginning – she will lose custody of her son. This unique ‘work of non-fiction’ fundamentally alerts us to the horrors of women’s rights abuse under a theocratic and patriarchal rule.

Obviously it is not a light read. It’s a total immersion into the darkness. But there are moments of joy to be had, namely in reference to the title, “Dancing in the Mosque”, and the lasting friendships between Homeira, her friends, and her family, despite the inhumane odds. And there’s ample atmospheric and metaphoric flourishes of good prose, such as “the air was heavy with the scent of jasmine blooming along the walls” / “I was like a bird in a cage, my wings fluttering against the bars, still trying to escape” / “sometimes I think I would have preferred the crackle of bullets to the jabber of men.”

All importantly though, there is a strong sense throughout that Homeira will by her own act of writing the truth be triumphant in changing the fabric of an immoral society and in receiving custody of her son by such actions. One is left as the recipient of an intense outpouring of love and humanity from the voice of a truly courageous, talented woman, Homeira Qaderi.

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I read this book with such awe for Homeira Qaderi and will the other women of Afghanistan whose lives are controlled by a continuous stream of menfolk. Her memoir is honest and heartbreaking, brave and vulnerable! It is a story of love and a story of family. There are nuggets of humour and moments of “fist in the air” triumph embedded in this searing story of religion and misogyny and the result is affecting and long lasting on the reader .

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Utterly brilliant – Quite outstanding. A must-read!

I must start with this quote – it’s what Homeira’s grandmother told her more than once; “My grandmother believed that one of the most difficult tasks that the Almighty can assign anyone is being a girl in Afghanistan.” She would have said it in exasperation trying to control her granddaughter’s extraordinarily strong, enthusiastic, feisty nature – after all – Afghan women are no more than chattels, nobodies.

We follow Homeira’s life from her birth into a huge family living in one house, Her grandparents, their four daughters and two sons, her mother, and siblings. They had mulberry trees and red and green grapes on their plot of land, spaces where she and her brother could play when there was a lull when bombs and mortar weren’t keeping them in hiding during the Russian invasion.

The memoir, written to her son, taken from her at an early age, sees her survive the Russian invasion, the Taliban’s very harsh take-over of Herat and her marriage and the freedom she found in Iran.

Possibly one of the most extraordinary memoirs I’ve ever had the privilege to read. “Meeting” Homeira and listening to her narration of this often-harrowing life changed my perception of how lucky I am to have the freedom and be accepted as a woman. I wish I could say that when the West arrived with thousands of troops in Afghanistan that they were able to rescue and change the lives of women. Allow them the freedom of education, even the chance to attend university. However, by withdrawing, the old rules returned, and women are still treated as if “one of the most difficult tasks that the Almighty can assign anyone is being a girl in Afghanistan.”

Thank you, Homeira. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Thank you for opening my eyes to the conditions that still prevail in Afghanistan. May millions find this memoir and may their eyes also be opened – maybe we can start a peaceful revolution changing the life of one girl at a time.

Rony

Elite Reviewing Group received a copy of the book to review.

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This is basically a letter from an estranged mother to her son. It is a heart wrenching true story that covers Homeira's life from her childhood, life in hte family through to her growing up, marrying and evntually leaving her country to hold true to herself. The story tells of the love within a family but mainly the love that women have for their children. It covers religious zealotry, historical facts, what freedom is and how women are treated in other societies.
I learnt a so much about the history of Afghanistan under the various occupations that has been kept under the carpet in general in the west. The emotions that women who are not free have to face on a daily basis and the struggles that these women face in order to appease the men. Homeira is a brave strong woman who has lived through a life that I cannot begin to imagine.
This is certainly a book to pul at heart strings and should be engorced reading for school ahe children to understand what this religious war is all about.

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This is the inspiring story of a very courageous young girl growing into a woman in Afghanistan. The book is to bear witness to the changes happening in her country, and on a more personal level to explain to her son (and to the reader) why she had to escape and leave him behind.
“Losing you was the most severe pain I have ever suffered and I know you must be very, very angry. But I felt I had to make a choice, not just for myself, but also for my country and, ultimately, for you. I don’t want either of us to belong to a society that degrades women the way the Afghan society does. You, my son, are a new generation and it is my deepest hope that by the time you grow up, things will have changed—that you will become an instrument of that change.”
She tells of her childhood, moving from the relative ‘safety’ of war-torn Herat under the Russian occupation, through the Mujahadeen, the Taliban and then ISIS. At the start of the book, the major dangers were exploding bombs and bullets, male relatives being imprisoned and tortured – but many children (including girls) still had access to an education. With the chaos of Mujahadeen, everyone was at risk, and the restrictions on girls and women began to tighten. By the time the Taliban are in charge, females could no longer leave their homes without a husband or male relative in attendance, they must wear a burka in public and all schooling for females is banned. For Homeira – who has always been a rebel and has always railed against the preferential treatment shown to her younger brother – this ruling needs to be thwarted. She loves education – needs education. And so, aged merely thirteen, she sets up a secret part-time school in a make-shift mosque. Initially it is for the local young girls – but soon refugee children (including some young boys) join in. The title refers to an incident where the children are happy and excited, and start to dance – and come so very close to being discovered by strict Taliban soldiers. That would have involved the destruction of the school, and almost certainly executions – or worse.
All too soon, it is time for Homeira to marry. It is not something that the wife-to-be – nor her family – have any say in. Once a Talib man chooses a female for his first (or second, third or fourth) wife – the matter is settled.
“The nekah matrimonial ceremony is the recitation of some verses in Arabic by a maulawi that, in an instant, allows a total stranger to become your master.”
Homeira manages to avoid marriage for longer than most of her friends, but eventually a particularly cruel Talib leader claims her. Thankfully, he dies in battle before the ceremony. The next marriage does takes place – and your heart sinks along with the hearts of Homiera and her family. But then the wonderful twist. Her new husband takes her straight to Iran so that he can go to university there. And Homeira gets the opportunity to do the same.
In the West, Iran is perpetually demonised, but to Homeira it was a beacon of hope – somewhere she could become the woman she wanted to be:
“In Afghanistan, a good woman was defined as a good mother. In Iran, a good woman could be an independent and educated woman.”
She is able to put off motherhood for years to focus on her education and writing career. Unfortunately, her husband (with whom she had fallen in love) eventually decides to return to Afghanistan – taking her with him, and she is pressured into having a child. She tries to continue her career in Afghanistan, but when her husband informs her that he is taking a second wife, it is the final straw:
“It takes years and generations for men to accept strong women. And in the end, he felt more accountable to society than to me.”
I found the family dynamics very interesting. Homeira is very influenced by her father and grandfather, who do their best to support and encourage her. Her grandfather is widely read, and hides his many works of Russian literature when the Taliban come. Her mother is a somewhat neutral figure, but her grandmother always just wants Homeira to conform – like a good woman should.
“Pain and grief adorn a woman,” she said. “You should accept it for your own comfort. No woman’s life can be compared to a man’s. I swear that your eyes and ears will get used to the second wife. Don’t be afraid. It is difficult for all women, but when it happens, they accept it.”
Homeira wants the men to change – but I cannot help but believe, that until the women change – nothing will. Education is a start, but while there continues to be acceptance of the woman’s submissive and second-class role, women will not be free.
I wholeheartedly recommend this book to everyone

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An eye opening, heartbreaking, memorable read. Homeira’s story is a life I couldn’t even imagine. We are so lucky to have our freedom and it is so easy to take it for granted. Having your child snatched from you must cause immeasurable pain. Homeira writes with emotion and her life is a hard read in places.

Thank you to Netgalley for my copy.

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Dancing in the Mosque: An Afghan Mother’s Letter to her Son is an insightful and heart-wrenching book by an incredibly brave woman.

In this outstanding piece of non-fiction Homeira Qaderi lays bare the everyday experiences of life under in Afghanistan under both Russian and Taliban rule.

Within the book are open and honest letters from Homeira to her son telling of the anguish she experiences from not seeing him and knowing that his father has said she is dead.

“My motherhood didn’t last long. I lost you early on, to the cursed laws of the city, when you were still a breastfeeding nineteen-month-old baby.

It has been 985 nights since you were taken from me. It had been 985 nights since the howling wind wolves have ripped through my lullabies.”

It was intriguing reading about the small and larger ways women and girls are treated differently than their male counterparts in Afghanistan.

“In the stories she saved for me, there were no jinnis or magic wands to make my dreams come true. My stories were populated with wild monsters…My grandmother had more monster stories than beads on her tasbeh. The purpose of her stories were primarily to stop me playing with boys, cutting my hair, wearing short skirts, climbing trees, talking to the neighbour girl over the wall, laughing out loud, and even arguing with Nanah-jan. If I did any of those forbidden things, she would tell me: A monster will appear out of thin air and drag me off to some horrible place where he will eat my flesh and lick my bones or worse, make me his wife and force me to bear a brood of little hateful ogres.”

One of the things that helped her during her situation was reading Russian literature.

“In the books taken from the underground box, there were no burqas. There were no girls whipped with pomegranate branches and they were never traded for fighting dogs. There was no girl given away to the city’s aged holyman, no beaten girl who threw herself down a well to avoid being stoned to death. There was no girl forced by her father to wear boys’ clothes and to play the role of the family’s son. In those buried books, women didn’t whisper their stories to the water or go to graveyards to talk with the dead about their loneliness.”

This is not a light-hearted book and definitely not easy to read but it helps that you know from the outset that she survived and that she made the right choices. The book provides hope that those who have been denied a voice can find it again.

“I know that you’ve been told I am dead. But I am not dead, my dear Siawash I am very much alive. I am your mother. My name is Homeira. And this is my voice.”

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🌿BOOK REVIEW🌿

Dancing in the Mosque by Homeria Qaderi

🌼🌼🌼🌼/5

Homeria is no ordinary Afghan woman, she refuses to abide to the misogynistic social order and continually pushes against the rules. She is passionate about the education of young people and teaches reading and writing skills to children, defying Taliban law.

This heart-wrenching memoir is dedicated to her son who she was forced to leave behind. She reflects on her own life and includes a series of letters that she wrote for her son, but knows he will never receive. Her husband forced her to chose between her family, or everything that makes her Homeria.

This novel gave me a huge amount to reflect upon as I was born in the UK where I have the right to an education, and so I have had the chance to peruse a career in medicine. It is a stark reminder that this is not the case for so many young girls all over the world. Qaderi is an extremely inspirational woman who constantly risked her freedom to fight for equality.

An incredible memoir!

Thank you to Harper Collins for providing me with an ARC via NetGalley.

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