A must read for opinionated people! Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the chance to read and review.

I enjoyed this a lot. I've been interested in seeing James O'Brien talk about a range of subjects over the years, and this was an enlightening book as he digs further into them than his radio show would normally allow.

Thanks very much to the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this title. Many thanks, Dave

Having just finished this account of one man’s exercise in public self-flagellation I am left asking was I wrong to take it up in the first place. Well, in the first place, perhaps I should take issue with the title, which appears to claim the book will provide the impossible: advice on how not to be wrong. Explaining that impossibility would probably take a book in itself. If he had used ‘incorrect’ in place of ‘wrong’ it might have made the job easier. Incorrect carries no moral connotations and should not be ‘value’ laden: 2 + 2 = 5 is not ‘wrong’, it’s ‘incorrect’, at least in this universe.

And what might be O’Brien’s motives in ‘coming clean’ about his past embarrassments? His Catholic upbringing, which gets mentioned every now and again, may have something to do with it. Perhaps the guilt-induced pressure of being ‘wrong’ on so many issues, for so many times, for so long may have required the demonstration of remorse and hoped-for absolution. Guilt, after all, is religion’s currency and, if we stick with Catholicism for now, we’re all born with a big deposit in our accounts, thanks to Adam’s imprudent fruit-picking. But, on top of original sin, he is, of course, white, middle-class, privately-educated and male: a whole bunch of stuff almost certain to burden the soul of the liberal-minded.

And the ‘issues’ are a very mixed bag: some of the intolerance that social media has exposed in the first quarter of the twenty-first century, which afflicts much of public discourse and media air-time, is on display within the book’s covers: from the obvious such as racism, Black Lives Matter, the disproportionate application of ‘stop and search’ policies amongst certain sectors of society, etc. to tattoos and fat-shaming. Thus, O’Brien re-examines these issues through the lens of his popular radio phone-in show, with transcripts of ‘conversations’ providing evidence of his bigotry for all to see. I have no problem with this. He is simply reviewing those conversations that caused him to pause and reflect on his sometimes long-held views, why he thinks he has held onto them for so long and what it was about the evidential conversations that resulted in alterations to his way of thinking. And it is interesting and enlightening to follow his reasoning even if one doesn’t always agree with it. For example, he frequently quotes his ‘privileged’ private education and seems to presume that we all agree with him that it was simply splendid and provided him with opportunities denied the hoi-polloi and without which he, undoubtedly, would not be enjoying his current privileged position as a radio host and media personality. In doing so he makes a common error: he automatically assumes that his education was superior to that which is obtainable in common-or-garden state schools polluted as they no doubt are by said grubby members of that hoi-polloi, even though he recounts instances of abuse meted out, physical in his case, sexual in other cases involving fellow pupils, that seemed to be commonplace in this centre of educational excellence. And thus, he betrays his utter ignorance of the processes of teaching and learning and what, in reality, occurs within state schools, be they academies, grammar or comprehensive, etc. He equates the commonly held notion of private schooling, with its small classes populated with socio-economically privileged pupils with educational excellence, in the same way that some do regarding private healthcare and medical excellence.

But I guess I should come clean about why I did take up this book: it was because I am a long-term fan of his and admit to finding satisfaction in his forensic deconstruction of some of the most fatuous ‘arguments’ ever to have occupied radio bandwidth, even if the words ‘duck’ ‘shooting’ and ‘barrel’ often come to mind. Ultimately, I’m left with the feeling that it wasn’t a great use of my time; after all, I could have been reading War and Peace, well, at least starting it – for about the fifth time!

Over the disaster that has been Brexit I began to listen to James O’Brien, drawn in by his ability to apply common sense to the more bizarre arguments and to pick apart a statement or opinion so quickly and with lightning accuracy. His passion for his subject always comes across and his anger over social injustice always impresses me. However, then came the backlash. Claims that he was a bully and used a superior attitude when talking to callers were all over the papers. Also, it was claimed, his researchers only let callers through if they are members of the tin foil hat brigade. So it was interesting to read this book, which was more introspective than I’d expected and, perhaps in response to the backlash, looked at his ability to be self-reflective. It also delved back into his childhood in an attempt to explain where his philosophy and political stance come from.

His starting point is a question that I imagine he’s asked regularly, especially by those willing to discredit him. He has many detractors who imagine he considers himself correct all the time and ask him if he ever changes his mind on an issue? Of course if he says no, he’s branded inflexible and biased. If he answers yes, then he’s inconsistent and unable to stick to his opinion. In a period where the country is more polarised than ever - Remainers and Brexiteers, North and South, Capitalist or Socialist, COVID Deniers or Believers - surely it is our duty to question an issue, analyse it and evaluate for ourselves. Instead many people base their opinion on what a newsreader tells them, on what their newspaper’s headline is that week, or what their family believe. One of the most bizarre excuses I’ve ever heard for voting Conservative in my constituency area was that ‘he was the only politician who came and knocked on my door over the years’. O’Brien argues that with the divided population we have, the most powerful thing we can do is change our mind on an issue. Using himself as an example, the author looks at how our childhoods and the opinions of our parents may help form our opinions politically, leading to tribal loyalties. There’s room for loyalty, for example I never buy the Sun because my Mum is from Liverpool and their coverage of Hillsborough and the defaming of those Liverpool fans was painful and wrong. However, on political issues we need to be aware of our conscious and unconscious biases, because they may be influencing our judgement more than we realise. How do we talk to ourselves about the big issues and do we ever go beyond the soundbites, headlines and how our parents voted?

As well as personal reflection there are conversations from his radio show on a wide range of topics, but with the emphasis on how that opinion was formed and what would change his guest’s mind on the issue. Had they ever done their own research for example or do they simply trust the version they are given from the BBC. I have researched issues more lately and encourage my stepdaughters to do it too. I want them to ask questions and understand how our country got here, then form an opinion based on the facts and figures, or the anecdotal evidence from real people. I think it’s good to question the type of sources we use, whether print news or tv news is our ‘go to’ place for the truth or whether we dig further, Twitter was an eye opener to me in this sense, because I couldn’t believe how much eyewitness footage or other evidence was available in an instant when something happened. It also gave journalists the freedom to post what they wanted without censorship or editing. If it’s an important issue, multiple sources are needed to build an accurate picture. I have started to reevaluate people and admit where I’ve got it wrong in the past, but the worst position of all is having to say ‘ I really don’t like X but I do agree with him on this issue.’

I found this a really accessible look at a complex issue we all face, littered with anecdotes and softened with a touch of humour. It manages to convince that we are not ‘flip-flappers’ if we change our minds. Provided that change comes about through educating ourselves and being convinced of a different way. As O’Brien argues, if we are not willing to change our own minds, why should anyone else change theirs?

While this book was interesting in that it gave a peek into the life of a public school boy and how he was raised, I'm not really sure what the author wanted to do/say/prove with it. It read very jumbled, almost like a memoir that rambled this way and that but which didn't have a real focus, so I'm not sure what I was supposed to pick up from it. The way he seems to say 'how not to be wrong' is to basically 'change yourself through therapy and through work on yourself', but while that may have been constructive for him, it doesn't really give the audience the tips and methods to go about not being wrong

How Not To Be Wrong – The Art of Changing Your Mind by James O’Brien is the author’s follow up to 2018’s How To Be Right. O’Brien is a journalist and broadcaster who has written for the TLS and the Daily Mirror and who has a daily current affairs programme on LBC. He is an interesting character, in that he was privately educated and enjoyed a privileged upbringing, and yet has a rather left-wing political stance. His radio show is very engaging and his Twitter presence is both divisive and, almost always, bang on point.

I haven’t read How To Be Right so it’s impossible for me to compare the two books, but this one felt up to date and relevant, taking in the impact of Covid and the disastrous handling of the pandemic by both Boris Johnson and Donald Trump’s governments. O’Brien is famously anti-Brexit, and it’s difficult to argue that he’s wrong as, so far, there is little evidence to counter his argument, and it’s here where the crux of the book is: if your opinions don’t match O’Brien’s you’ll likely not enjoy reading this book; in fact it will probably infuriate you. On the other hand if your personal political opinion is matched with a shared viewpoint, there is much here for you to enjoy.

The chapters deal with his thoughts on bullying and punishment in private schools (It Never Did Me Any Harm), the impact of therapy (Stiff Upper Lips), white privilege and the dangers of solely surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals (Stop and Search and Echo Chambers), tackling the right-wing criticism of Black Lives Matter (White Privilege, Black Lives), his own admittedly irrational biases (Tattoos, Private Schools and Marriage), social bullying and the narrow-minded viewpoints directing contempt towards others (Fatty Fatty Fat Fats), the complicated subject of trans rights (Trans), and a summary about the lessons learned in accepting that one will benefit greatly by being open-minded enough to allow a change of opinion in the weight of opposing evidence (Confessions of a Corpse-Munching Psychopath). Each chapter contains excerpts from O’Brien’s broadcasting career, in which he illustrate points – sometimes to his own detriment – in which he has encountered members of the public whose experiences have made him reconsider his position and, as such, given him a deeper understanding of the situation under discussion. These act as a nice counterpoint. He is often self-deprecating, but there seems to be an earnest heart there. One gets the impression that he realises that his overtly vocal opinion has in the past cost him jobs (a high-profile role with the BBC is touched on) but that he genuinely cares about those less fortunate than himself, and his left-leaning stance isn’t merely a calculated viewpoint with the intention of self-promotion.

This book is an interesting read, and one that isn’t too bogged down in jargon or complicated political points (although the section on trans viewpoints rightly illustrates what a complex subject this is) and it’s one that certainly invites interest in his other books. I enjoyed it greatly.

A well-written diatribe on the importance of being able to change your own mind, filled with humour and insight, although occasionally repetitive. It's not necessarily a beach read - not that we can go to beaches at the moment. I enjoyed the previous book, How To Be Right, and bought it as gifts for others, but probably won't gift this one as it was perhaps a little too much of the same thing. James O'Brien is still fighting the good fight, but post-Brexit and mid-pandemic, this reader was seeking a little more escapism. Perhaps I will read it again once the current unpleasantness is all over.

An interesting and thought-provoking book. For me, the ability to change your mind is a sign of wisdom that comes with maturity. How Not To Be Wrong is a humorous book with really engaging writing. Three questions that I took from the book and I will use in my everyday life are: "What are you afraid of?", "What are you really angry about?" and "How would you feel if the roles were reversed?"

James O'Brien's book got off to a great start for me, because the opening paragraph expresses my feelings exactly.

"There is no point in having a mind if you never change it. We should change our minds when we realise we are wrong. We realise we are wrong - or at least that we are not necessarily right - after being exposed to superior science or stronger arguments, experiences and evidence that refute our previous position. In short, by listening, thinking and learning. There should be no shame in admitting to being wrong. Instead, we should be applauded for our honesty, humility and emotional intelligence."

I could not agree more with this, and I do feel that now, perhaps more than ever, many people find it almost impossible to admit they may have held a mistaken view or made a misjudgement, instead becoming ever more entrenched in and defensive of their position, seeing those on the other side as the enemy. (I've often felt for instance that it's completely pointless to argue with people on the internet as they very rarely ever change their minds, instead going to great lengths and expending enormous time and energy to "prove" that they are right and somebody else is wrong, even over what seem like very insignificant issues.) I like the quote "The older I get, the more convinced I become that you can't argue anyone into changing their mind, you can simply question them into a place where they will be able to do it for themselves". I think that's very true, though hard to remember at times.

Anyway, in his book James discusses various areas in which he's come to realise he was in fact wrong, from that old favourite "it never did me any harm" (being hit as a child), to police stop and search practices, to an unreasonable prejudice against people with tattoos. This is often intensely personal, as when he talks about his experiences at boarding school (I had something in my eye when reading the unsent letter to his old prep school headmaster.)

I really admired his openness and honesty in examining where his assumptions have come from and why they might be - and sometimes have been, publicly and embarrassingly - wrong. That can't be easy to do. The chapter on how, early in his radio career, he devoted much airtime to mocking and bullying overweight people - dehumanising them, basically - makes particularly uncomfortable reading, and yes it is as bad as it sounds, and yes he does now feel suitably bad about it.

Throughout, he emphasises the importance of a willingness to listen to and learn from other people's lived experiences as evidence for changing your mind, and I really enjoyed the extracts from exchanges with radio phone-in callers. (Bravo, Emma, Lauren and Tony!)

I will admit my heart sank a little when I came to the chapter on trans issues, not from concern about what James might have to say on the matter but purely because the subject has become so fraught and highly charged that, to be honest, I'm scared to go anywhere near it. I've seen enough vitriol on Twitter to put me off ever expressing a thought on the subject, even if I could confidently formulate one beyond the obvious - that everyone should be respected and equal. (James echoes this feeling, stating that "I don't ever want to be a person who stops thinking because they are cowed by criticism, and I think I have come closer to that place with transgenderism than with any other subject.")

I thoroughly enjoyed How Not to be Wrong. James writes in such an engaging and readable way, and is so honest about his own faults, and so clear-sighted about the way things are, that it's a thought-provoking pleasure to read from start to finish.

I enjoyed O'Brien's last book and was intrigued by the concept of this new writing and how he admits and accepts his wrong attitudes. The reflective and critical analysis of O'Brien's own experiences and opinions was a perfect introduction to exploring your own faults.

A brilliant example of how to critically analyse your own opinions and beliefs to become a better and more understanding human being.

How Not to Be Wrong is readable and thought-provoking. I enjoyed this very much, and suspect that most would get something positive from reading it.

Thank you to NegGalley and to the publisher for allowing me to read a copy in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed reading James views on decisive topics such as racism, veganism, corporal punishment and other topics. He shows how to respect an argument by looking at all perspectives and opening your mind to the possibility that you could be wrong.

The world is so full of binary oppositions right now, people either being right or wrong, and things being black or white. I think this book really helps us to understand that just because people have differing opinions to us, it doesn’t make them stupid or unworthy, and that we should be more open, honest and understanding.

There is a lot packed into this very readable book. Mr O’Brien considers why we stick to opinions without evidence and why we are so loathe to change our minds or admit we are wrong. The author shows how intelligence almost demands an ability to rethink our position in the face of contrary evidence. He gives examples of conversations from his radio phone in - and they act brilliantly to describe and illustrate the points. I found myself wanting to listen to his programme and I dislike radio phone ins for the reasons Mr O’Brien describes.

A few quotes to explain:-

“My own answer, for now, is to prescribe the treatment that worked for me: facts, evidence, other people’s lived experiences. Look, listen, learn, and then strain to help other people do the same.”

“When I find myself or encounter others holding potentially unpleasant or unhealthy positions, I try to ask three questions: ‘What are you afraid of?’ “What are you really angry about?’ “How would you feel if the roles were reversed?’”

“Next time you catch yourself criticising or mocking someone for some aspect of their existence over which they have little or no control, try asking yourself why you care about it. I never cease to be stunned by how often, when I try this simple exercise, I turn out to have no answer at all.”

There is a lot going on here and I found it fascinating - when arguing with a family member about politics (we are polar opposites and I usually get quite upset) I backed off, thinking why does it matter to me when I know you won’t change your mind. Let’s just change the subject.

There is a point here about how trying to point out an opposite view can be seen as trying to stop someone speaking their view and this is not the case. With the vitriol on social media and the dangerous rhetoric from the US President, it is important that we learn to define truth and understand why others hold the views they do. But it is more important that we listen to the voices of those who know what they are talking about and stop over shouting everyone we disagree with. Just maybe they have a truth we need to hear.

I was given a copy of this book by Netgalley in return for an honest review.

“How not to be Wrong” is James O’Brien’s latest book following on from “How to be Right”

O’Brien is the Marmite of radio chat show presenters, I am a fan but a critical one. His technique of persistent questioning and focus enables him to ridicule people he doesn’t agree with in a seemingly reasonable way. It’s entertainment but sometimes it feels cruel.

How to be Right was quite a self righteous book using sequences from the chat show to illustrate how questioning can puncture firmly held beliefs that are not backed up by evidence and fact.

How not to be Wrong is much more self reflective, O’Brien writes about his own personal crisis, going through therapy and how that process lead him to re-evaluate some of his own firmly held beliefs and to regret some of his past evisceration of callers to his chat show.

How not to be Wrong is thought provoking for all of us who are equally convinced about the rightness of our views on politics, social issues and life. O’Brien’s key lesson is that if you are convinced that you are right and are trying to persuade others of the folly of their opinions then you have to be able to change your own mind and reconsider your own beliefs as well. Seems like a good message to me and well worth a read.

There is a lot to be said for not being so wedded to your own ideas and opinions that you’re not willing to be wrong. Considering how divisive people can be on issues that matter to them, exacerbated by online communication, this is a book that many people need in their lives.

I loved James' book 'How to be Right in a World Gone Wrong' and although I don't listen to his radio show, I do enjoy listening to James when I hear him speak at events. His latest book is refreshing, especially in the current climate of aggressive politics and social media, where admitting you were wrong about something is a bad thing and used to disparage your other opinions. This book covers different topics that James has changed his mind about, or at least acknowledges the 'other side' of the argument and an awareness that his opinion may not be 'right'. He speaks about how undertaking therapy (which he was previously skeptical about) allowed him to understand why he has specific opinions and prejudices and how he has worked through them. He encourages people to really question why they have certain beliefs, and that we should encourage open and honest discussion between opposing sides instead of avoiding it and living in our own bubbles.

I really appreciated how honest this book was and how painful it must have been for James to talk about certain things. If you're fed up with the current state of the world, I'd definitely recommend this!

I’ve never heard of this author before, so this is a first for me. Interesting book, with interesting views on things.

Thank you NetGalley for my complimentary copy in return for my honest review.

I've enjoyed listening toJames O'Brien on the radio, regularly dismantling other people's opinions on a wide variety of subjects. Many of his viewpoints I agree with: the one's I don't I have sometimes found myself shouting frustratedly at the radio. Either way, it's entertaining.

This book follows on from his previous best seller How To Be Right, and his focus shifts from looking outward and always trying to win the argument to looking inside and discovering (partly via counselling) why he thinks the way he does, what his thoughts are about the way his opinions have been formed , and whether, in light of that, they are right or wrong (or a mix of both).

This book aims to encourage us to do the same: to examine the most steadfast of our opinions and ask why: to examine the other viewpoint open mindedly rather than with the intent to rubbish it; to listen to that little voice that sometimes talks inside our head; and to actively listen to other people because their personal opinions have drawn them to a different conclusion., and it's interesting and enlightening to find out why. He asks us to be aware of our unconscious biases and try to look outside our usual reading material. We all surround ourselves with friends who have similar opinions, and read media that aligns with how we think about the world. We could do better: to read other media, to see the other side of the story may lead to a better understanding of why people think differently. It may also lead you to change your own opinions at times - not a bad thing!

The text is interspersed with conversations from his radio show - some to illustrate how he used to bulldoze people with his opinion, some showing how he now listens, others where changed his mind on a subject just by listening to another person's experience. He also points out that the best way to change someone else's opinion is not to talk over them, to patronise them or to verbally them; but to get them to question their own viewpoint.

We all need to be open-minded enough to listen: even if ultimately we still have the same opinion as when we started, at least we understand the underpinnings of the other person's argument (or maybe that there are no underpinnings: they are arguing from feelings rather than fact and evidence.).

In the last 10 years or so, in the UK at least, we have become much more tribal in our thinking - footballisation as James calls it - not just wanting our team to win, but wanting the other side to lose badly in many other ways. This will never lead to anything good - we need to learn to listen, to understand, to agree to disagree, if we want to get on better and become a united kingdom in actions rather than just a label..

A recommended read.

I really enjoyed James O'Brien's first book, How To Be Right… in a World Gone Wrong, but I had a hard time with this one. I liked the more personal approach in this book when talking about contentious topics like stop-and-search, laying bare how and why he changed his opinions about the topics in question, but I felt like the tone sometimes shifted more into a sort of public self-flagellation for committing the crime of wrongthink.

I liked how O'Brien talked about being in therapy and how/why it worked for him, although I did find it strange that he mentioned there being a Reason for going to therapy now but then deciding to not share that reason. I understand it might have been too private and not just something that affected him, but a more elegant solution would've been to just mention therapy without indicating a precipitating event.

All in all, this was an interesting read. I was shocked by some of O'Brien's past behaviour and opinions, but he has clearly spent a lot of time arguing with himself to distil his principles and update his opinions accordingly. Maybe a thought exercise we should all undertake more often.

There's lots to enjoy in this sequel to How to Be Right, although it's not going to convince anyone not already on James O'Brien's side of things. More personal than its predecessor and prompted by a personal crisis when O'Brien found he could not fight his way out of a family crisis, this is as much about how to be wrong and change your mind as anything else. Drawing on personal experience and discussions with his phone-in callers (some of which e.g. Emma in Ch 4 are both powerful advocates and very patient with him), this could have drawn on more background research and reporting but you find yourself both racing through it and being made to think about your own positions as you do. This shows its success.