I loved this. It was so entertaining yet interesting and I learned so much . So relevant while educating yourself about other cultures.

I was kindly approved for a copy of this book by NetGalley and the publishers a few days ago; I decided to start reading it that same evening and finished the whole thing in almost one sitting. Since then, I’ve tried to put together a review but found that most of my thoughts were coming out pretty much incoherent – this was a book that resonated with me so deeply that I’ve had to take a few days to think about and process it before writing down my thoughts. That being said, I can’t promise that this review will be entirely coherent, but I’ll give it a shot because I NEED people to read this when it comes out at the start of next year.

How We Met is a memoir by Huma Qureshi, an award-winning writer and journalist from the West Midlands who now lives in London with her husband and three kids. I hadn’t heard of Qureshi before reading this book, nor recall coming across any of her work, so her story was completely new to me. Throughout the book, Qureshi recalls her experiences of growing up in a Pakistani Muslim household in the West Midlands, her relationship with her family and the community, leaving home and figuring out what she should do with her life and where she belongs, and meeting her now-husband (a White British man who wasn’t a Muslim before they met).

If you take a look at this book on my Kindle, you’ll notice that part of the text is highlighted on almost every page. To say that I related to this book is probably an understatement. Reading this memoir, I felt like Qureshi had peeked into my head, trawled through my past and present, and presented her findings on the page, articulating many of my thoughts, anxieties, and experiences much more coherently and eloquently than I could ever manage. She talks about many things that I think most females* brought up in the UK in a South Asian immigrant family can relate to – the pressure to get married, the responsibility to your parents and family, the constant comparisons to other family members and people in the community, dealing with gossip and everyone having an opinion on what you’re doing with your life – as well as other topics that I could relate to on a more personal level (and I’m sure many others will too), such as mental health, grief, and struggling with self-confidence and self-worth.

The title of this book and the description suggests that this is a book centred around Qureshi’s love story – how she met her husband, them falling in love, the prejudice they faced from the wider community for their relationship, and their struggle to find acceptance from her family – and it does touch on these things. I found their story to be really sweet and it was really nice to read that things worked out for them and their family. I’m also certain that any South Asian girls who are in or have been in a similar situation to Qureshi and her husband – as in, are in an interracial relationship and have received or are worried about receiving a negative reaction from their family – will find a lot of comfort and hope when reading about how Qureshi and her husband got through it. However, for me, this was a coming-of-age story more than anything else, about struggling through your 20s, trying to tread the balance between fulfilling your duties to your family and carving out your own life, and growing to believe in and love yourself. I think everyone will find something in Qureshi’s story that they relate to.

Content aside, I also really liked the writing style. Qureshi is an excellent writer; the way she weaves together narratives of her life and approaches important discussions such as racism and misogyny in the South Asian community is done really well. As I’ve mentioned, this was a book that I really saw myself in, and I think part of the reason why it really impacted and had a lasting impression on me is that there was something comforting and familiar about Qureshi’s writing; it felt like a conversation from an older family member or friend and them giving me advice and telling me that life is crazy in your 20s, but things will work out.

I’d really urge you to read this book if you haven’t already – it’s out in the UK in January 2021 and is available to pre-order now. For those from a similar background to the author, I think, like me, you’ll really appreciate reading about the life of someone from a similar background as you. And if you’re not, I’m certain that there’s a lot you’ll learn as well as plenty that you’ll also be able to relate to in Qureshi’s story.

I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.