When I saw this book's cover on Netgalley, my immediate reaction was, 'Finally!' This is a book that has been needed for years. Raymond mentions mid-way through that this is his 'lockdown book', not because it has anything to do with coronavirus but rather because due to the pandemic he had the time to sit down and write it. So ... I guess this is one of those silver covid linings? As most good thinking people know in their hearts, Love Actually is a horrific film, a cuckoo in the nest of legitimate festive entertainment, a leech on your Christmas tree. To quote its opening scene, Love Actually is 'solid gold s**t'. As we work to build a better world post-pandemic, let's start as we mean to go on. Read this book and remember. Christmas is better without Richard Curtis & co.

In How Love Actually Ruined Christmas or Colourful Narcotics, Gary Raymond provides a scene-by-scene critique of the original film. He analyses each of the nonsensical plotlines, badly-drawn characters and nauseating schmaltz, while also highlighting every instance of open bigotry. There are many. Raymond also manages to do all of this while also being hilarious. As with any other conversion mission, this is key since otherwise you risk alienating your audience. The people love Love Actually. The people need to see the truth.

I should make a confession here. I did not always see as clearly as I do now. In 2003 when the film was released, I went to see it twice. My mother bought the DVD with excitment and I even watched the DVD commentary. It was funny! It had Bill Nighy singing! Hugh Grant danced! There was romance and music and slapstick humour. But. Even then. I remember frowning when Bill Nighy's character made a crack about having had unsatisfactory sex with Britney Spears who would have been twenty-two at the time. I thought it was seriously strange that Liam Neeson's character was ready to start dating a mere five weeks after the death of his apparently beloved wife. And was it really fair for Laura Linney to get abruptly dumped for having a mentally ill brother? Yet when I queried it, people just tutted and told me off for nit picking. So I decided those things clearly didn't matter so much and that yes, Love Actually was a fantastic film. What can I say? I'm a constant work in progress. There was also once a time where I willingly read novels by Philippa Gregory.

As recently as 2013, I was still describing myself as a fan of Richard Curtis films. But then a few things changed. I read Hadley Freeman's Be Awesome and she pinpointed the various issues across Curtis' back catalogue. Even in his best movie, Kristin Scott Thomas is rejected by Hugh Grant's character and as a second kick in the teeth ends up with Prince bloody Charles. Most of Curtis' films are centred around a male protagonist's personal journey which is then rewarded by him 'getting the girl' who is often so lacking in interiority that she does not even notice whether or not it's raining. And now isn't the right time to get into the skullduggery Curtis committed over Yesterday. Badly done, Mr Curtis. Badly done.

But while I can still enjoy Four Weddings and even still half-close my eyes at the awkward moments of About Time (no consistency on time travel theory, sexism over only men being able to do it, manipulative lead character), Love Actually is different. As Raymond explains, Love Actually is pretending to be something greater. It thinks that it's teaching us something. It thinks it's teaching us about Love. The book's subtitle 'Colourful Narcotics' comes from Raymond having misread a review of the film many years ago. It actually described the cast as containing 'colourful neurotics'.  For Raymond, the initial reading was perfect. The 'colourful narcotics' is a drug that 'dulls the critical senses, clouds people's judgment, making those susceptible to its hallucinogenic powers think they've seen a funny warm-hearted, romantic film about the many complex manifestations of love'. And that is not what we have here. One of the quotes from the book that has stuck in my head since reading is that it's not just that Love Actually is a bad film. It's that it is bad for you.

There are a lot of reasons for that. First of all, the writing is incredibly lazy. Billy Mack is selling a Christmas single based on the song 'Love is All Around'. This song became more popular due to featuring on the soundtrack to Four Weddings. Hugh Grant also points out that one of Kris Marshall's scenes was his own audition scene for Four Weddings. So rather than finding fresh inspiration, Richard Curtis has essentially dug around the back of his wardrobe to pull together a film. There are discarded storylines left and right. Rowan Atkinson cameos but was originally intended to play a wider role as a Christmas love fairy - to be honest, without this element, his appearances don't make another sense. There are a multitude of discarded plotlines from the fart jokes by Emma Thompson's son to Thomas Sangsten's gymnastics to random references to African aid work. There was also supposed to be the really tired cliche of a lesbian couple where one of them dies - because this always happens in films written by straight white men - but then Curtis cut this out too. Objectively speaking, this is a hot mess of a movie. It has absolutely no place as a Christmas 'classic'.

There's also the rampant misogyny. Throughout the film, Curtis' writing repeatedly hails supermodels as the standard of beauty. It gets really weird when Liam Neeson makes lots of inappropriate references about this to his ten year-old stepson. Martine McCutcheon is consistently referred to as fat. She isn't. I hope that Gary Raymond's next book gets stuck into that weird trope of fat-shaming non-fat women. It's as if the lazy Richard Curtis has sat down and thought, 'You know what's fun and makes everyone laugh? Fat jokes! Let's make some fat jokes! But it would be rude for us to call a fat woman fat. It would hurt her feelings. So let's cast someone who's an average size and call her fat instead. How the lols and laughs will roll in'. This really irritates me because it has a noticeable trickle-down effect into society. If you're reading this and you think I'm making a fuss over nothing, believe me - I'm actually not. The normalisation of these nasty little digs encourages women to hate their bodies.  Again, this is not just a bad film. It's bad for you.

For Curtis, Women seem to exist solely as orifices. Colin goes to America and is immediately seized by on by slobbering females. Colin Firth 'falls in love' with a woman who he cannot actually speak to. Alan Rickman's personal assistant puts on a really repulsive seductive display - it was so good to read Raymond tearing that performance apart. What is with the way she sits on the office chair? And why does she wear devil horns to a Christmas party? There's also the odd way that Curtis goes out of his way to not name various female characters. Colin Firth refers to his cheating ex girlfriend as 'the lady of the house' rather than actually call her something. Liam Neeson's dead wife is only belatedly named as Joanna. These are striking omissions when barely a single background male character goes unnamed.

There's something so deeply depressing about the way that 'love' plays out in this film. Sarah seems to accept as her lot thats she will never be with Karl because she has had the audacity to have family complications. Martine McCutcheon's boss asks her inappropriate questions and then has her removed from her post because the President of the United States harasses her in the workplace. Keira Knightley is supposed to be flattered that Mark has made a creepy stalker video about her presumably for masturbatory purposes. And then rather than telling her husband that his best friend has made a creepy stalker video, the two of them are still running in the same circles in the final airport scene with the suggestions of a continuing emotional affair. The message throughout the film is that the male emotional life comes first. The men deserve to be happy and it is the duty of the women to accommodate this. And lest we forget, that is the basic manifesto of the incel community.

I remember talking to a male friend years ago about past relationships. He mentioned still having a 'pang' for a girl who he had had feelings for at university. She had declined his advances and so he 'kept on trying' since he thought that was what you were 'supposed to do'. But then eventually a few of her male friends intervened and told him to back off. This was a tale he told to gain sympathy about being 'unlucky in love' and so I nodded along while feeling a cold chill about how unnerved that poor girl must have been. A few months later, I saw a Facebook update where the same guy bemoaned that he was on a bus with a bunch of flowers - he had gone to ask out a girl and she had rejected both him and his bouquet. I would add here that this bloke was a reasonably pleasant person and functioning member of society. On both those occasions, he sincerely believed that he was a Nice Guy going about dating as a gentleman and that it was unfair that the women were not responding in the way that they were 'supposed to'. We need to teach our sons that they can ask a girl out but if she says no, that response is a) final, b) to be respected and c) not to be taken personally - any number of factors could be at play. You nod and you move on. Films like Love Actually where Liam Neeson encourages Thomas Sangsten to keep on trying since eventually he would get the girl ... well. We're back to the key point. This film is not just bad. It's bad for you.

Love Actually  is a classic case of death by a thousand paper cuts. Any single poor joke might be dismissed as a momentary slip. But it's not a momentary slip. It's relentless. And it's really disturbing that Richard Curtis believes this is funny. The jokes about the Brazilian transgender prostitutes while they're at the wedding. The fatphobia. In a deleted scene, Bill Nighy's character asks a female record executive if she's ever given a really old man a blow job. Raymond muses on why these characters use 'such bullying, cruel, misogynistic language?' The answer is that they don't. Richard Curtis does. This is the same guy who looked at the 9/11 attacks and felt it was another sign of love being all around. To quote Raymond again, 'if you have ever experienced love and have cherished that feeling, then this film must leave you very confused'.This is not a nice film.

What's striking too when we look at it in 2020 is just how far its ideas have translated into the real world. Bill Nighy's seedy jokes sound like things that Trump said on the Access Hollywood tape. They certainly don't sit well in a post #MeToo world. Hugh Grant's Prime Minister character is very similar to the current occupant of Number 10 Downing Street. And if you don't think that Boris Johnson would be capable of changing important foreign policy on the fly due to a squabble over who gets to frisk the tea lady ... you're naive. And it's definitely true that when people cheered Hugh Grant sticking two fingers up at Billy Bob Thornton, we little suspected that this 'kind of fuck-you attitude [would find] a more damaging real-world form of expression in the Brexit vote'. We were complacent back in 2003. We thought this was 'just a film'. But it wasn't. It isn't. It's a nasty and poisonous bit of propaganda for how sufferings of entitled men are not of their making. Love Actually belongs in the bin. Not the kitchen bin but the outside wheely bin far at the very bottom of the drive.

To credit Raymond, he clearly sets out to be as fair-minded as possible. He even puts together an intriguing counter-case for Alan Rickman's character who he suggests is actually in the grip of depression. How else to explain why he is the least enthusiastic adulterer of all time? He spends a grand total of three seconds picking out the scandalous necklace but actually did buy something for Emma Thompson that was based on what he knew of her personal tastes. Viewed through that lens, the whole affair is no more than a desperate cry for help. Maybe.

Most pertinently though, Raymond ponders whether Love Actually is just a giant joke played on the audience. We see Billy Mack going through the motions to sell his 'solid gold shit' single which soars through the charts solely because it is tied in to the festive season. Everyone knows it's not very good but they wave it through because 'Uncle' Bill's funny jokes bring them a good belly laugh even if they are a bit inappropriate. A metaphor for the film as a whole. And we've been eating it up for seventeen years. Well. Enough is enough. Lazy, derivative, insulting and misogynistic. In the closing pages, Raymond remarks 'if you respect any living thing other than white men, this film must be a depressing watch'. It is. It really is. I make the commitment now to never watch this film again. I hope that I am not alone.

Colourful Narcotics comes highly recommended as stocking-filler this year - let's make 2020 count for something and ensure that Love Actually never ruins Christmas again! 🎉📽🎄

Thank you to NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read this book.

The book title explains itself what this is about. Gary Raymond basically explains, scene by scene, why the film Love Actually isn’t actually that good. He explains why the film is more of a “colourful narcotic” designed to give the viewers the warm and fuzzy feeling, whilst showcasing some quite unpleasant messages - usually about women. I have always loved the film and watch it again and again - even when it’s not Christmas. And this book has lessened the love a little bit.

Gary made the book witty, humorous, and insightful - the book opened my eyes to some of the things in the film that I have always found funny but now looking at it I can see that some of the scenes are a little tasteless. A great book for fans and non fans of the film.

This book went through all of the scenes of the movie, Love Actually. If you have been a fan of the movie like me, you still will.enjoy reading how the author feels about each character and what happened in each scene. It is like you are watching it with a friend that talks throughout it about their feelings. I would recommend that you have seen the movie, or you will not.understand the book.

I didn’t finish this book as the author comes across as very rude and heavily opinionated in just the introduction.

I agree that the film has it’s flaws, and I hate the movie for that. But to me, it is enjoyable.

DNF.

I really enjoyed this book - funny and insightful, I won’t be able to watch Love Actually in the same way again.

Thank you to NetGalley for letting me read this.

I'm going to out myself here. I can't stand "Love, Actually". For many many reasons. I've never seen the appeal.

The beauty of this book is that

1. It confirms in exquisite detail that I AM RIGHT (oh yes)
2. Gary Raymond has sat and watched it on repeat to explain its many and varied faults (so I don't have to).

This book is funny. It's right. It's very readable. it might change your mind about this film (if you're one of those weirdo fans)

it also had me gabbling over breakfast this morning, explaining why young people should be studying film and media rathre than 19th century literature. And I love 19th century literature, in general. But we are bathed in film and TV and all sorts of other media, and should really know how to analyse it and think about it.

Like many, I have complicated feelings about Love Actually. It's less than 20 years old, but already feels dated; yet it's too new to allow its faults to be forgiven for the time in which it was made. I'm not a fan of the holiday season, so the angst in this movie resonates with me. That said, I really enjoyed this scene by scene take down of the movie. I'll be laughing in a whole new way during my annual viewing from now on. I was provided a free copy of this book by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

How Love Actually Ruined Christmas (or Colourful Narcotics) By Gary Raymond
⭐️

Well what can I say? I saw this one on @netgalley and thought it sounded interesting. I can't say I am the hugest fan of Love Actually but I have seen it a few times, in fact I think I start the film every christmas and probably fall asleep after 20 mins after too many xmas snowballs!!! I'd seen a few reviews with people saying this was funny so I thought I'd give it a go.

Well I'm sorry to say that it wasn't for me. As I said I wasn't the biggest fan of the film but when I have watched it I have enjoyed it, so maybe I am not the target market for this book as the author clearly did not! The book is basically a scene by scene breakdown of the film going through what the author doesn't like, finds sexist or thinks doesnt make sense.

I am all for everyone having an opinion and to be honest some of his points did make sense but I am more of the camp, if you dont have anything nice to say.... I just really couldnt believe that this was a whole book dedicated to disecting each scene of the book. At first I found some of the musings funny but after a while it got a bit tedious. Liek I said I think I totally chose wrong on this one, and I am not the target market the author was aiming at. I love a rom-com and I love christmas so even though Love Actually has never been my favourite christmas film, I still feel like I cant champion a book that tears into it.

Thank you to Netgalley for my arc of this book.
I wasnt sure whether I would like this book as I LOVE Love Actually, however I read it was supposed to be a funny description of the film.
I can confirm this isnt the case! If you are a fan of Love Actually this isnt for you! However if you do not enjoy Love Actually and want to hear someone moaning about the reasons why they dont like it then you might enjoy this!
I havent really got much else to say about this book apart from it actually made me want to watch it all over again because it describes the film scene by scene and I could picture the whole film!!
But if you are a fan of Love Actually then stay away! Not for me unfortunately!

Thanks to the publishers for sharing this one. I literally laughed out loud a couple of times. I'm glad I'm not the only one who wasn't a fan of that movie. My full review appears on Weekend Notes.

As a regular watcher of Love Actually over the festive season, I was intrigued as to how Gary Raymond would approach his critique of the film. So many of his observations were spot on - Emma Thompson's Karen telling Liam Neeson's Daniel to get over the death of his wife, Joanna, before they had even had her funeral, for example, Billy Mack and his Britney Spears joke etc. Laura Linney is wasted in this movie but it is a big ensemble cast and that's the beauty of it. So many parts don't gel, are misogynistic or are just plain old weird. Still it's essential Christmas viewing to be watched when the kids are in bed while wrapping the last presents. The book is funny, going through the film scene by scene picking up on so many different things. Not necessarily essential reading but definitely a humorous mickey take of the film beloved by many.

This book wins all the things on dedication alone...
To All Those Who Have Had The Sh%$t Kicked Out Of Them By Love Actually

Going into this book is going to be very different for each reader; depending on if you are in the.
Love, Actually is the best Christmas film every catagory, or Love, Actually is the bane of every Chritmas since it hit the cinemas in 2003.
I am in the latter camp, sitting in my local cinema with my mum, Christms 2003, expecting joy..
I came out physically shaking and disturbed. Not till years later, (i was 17 at the time) did i understand that I had a physical reaction of bring attacked from watching this film.
And this book told me why, it was therepy I didn't know I needed.

It explained to me the reasons i jumped at the mention of Martine Mccutcheon sizeable arse or Plumpy nickname.
Why Andrews Lincons decloration of love with flash cards, or Colins Firths march through the streets of Marseilles hunting his 'love' felt so aggressive.
Why, when coming out the Cinema, i was left feeling alone, bullied and worthless for not having a good time.

Scene by Scene Gary Raymond breaks down the judgemental, misogynistic, cruelity, and almost joyess bullying of women, disbility and class in this film.
Wrapped up in centimental, confusing and downright dizzing timelines.

But don't get me wrong, if you love this film, chances are at the end of this book you still will. It is whitty and insightful. Well researched and written with a keen eye on the times now.
This won't spoil your love of the film, just maybe make you question a few things and come to terms with them.

I needed this book, Thank You Gary.

This is a fun read and, without trying to be dismissive or rude, a good gag gift to be added to the pile of books in the smallest room in the house. The ‘colourful narcotics’ in the title is because the author misread a review referencing ‘colourful neurotics’.

Raymond has decided to make use of the time in lockdown in this pandemic world, to finally write the book he’s been threatening to write for years. The one about how that perennial festive favourite, “Love, Actually”, is not the warm and fuzzy cinematic triumph people think it is.

It is of course, tongue in cheek and should not be seen as a serious argument – plenty of people love and enjoy and watch this film all year round.

The book itself is a scene by scene breakdown the film, character driven. Doing it that way does highlight some of the ridiculous timelines – how does Tony get from being on the set of the adult film to the wedding reception? Why does he do that? He doesn’t appear to be an invited guest but is hanging out the back…

Some of the points are funny and manage to articulate something I hadn’t put my finger on before. The fact that the central premise is that Christmas is a time where you tell the truth, for example. Never has that been a principle in real life Christmas. You spend time with relatives you might have differing views from you, politically or otherwise – Christmas is not the time to tell them you’re vegan because all dairy produced is inhumane. You wrap that all up in a neat bow and pop it in a box, ready to be nice for a few days. You pretend you love that present, you don’t want that last roast potato and you definitely think that one glass of wine is enough.

Other points have been discussed and analysed at length – the affair with Alan Rickman and his secretary, the fact that the central ‘joke’ about Martine McCutcheon’s character is that she’s ‘fat’ and unsuitable for a Prime Minister.

I’d recommend this book as a Christmas present for someone who dislikes the film already, fancies a slightly fun read and will no doubt read bits of it out over the annual family screening of the film.

Thank you to NetGalley for early access to this book. This book was compelling. Did I agree with all of it no, was it interesting to read yes.

I have spent (until recently) years despising this film...I still hate that bloody song though! 🎶 And although it's set at Christmas, I still can't bring myself to class it as a Christmas movie, pretty much like' Die Hard'.

This was laugh out loud funny, easy reading for both lovers & haters of the film.

And my favourite part & the most memorable to me will always be Hugh Grant & his dad dancing to 'Jump'! 🕺

𝗜 𝗴𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗮 4 🌟 𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴.

I’m one of those people that loves Love Actually. Have done since I first saw it. I know it is problematic, and it always has been. In much the same way as my favorite 90’s shows have been dissected in recent years, Gary Raymond has done the same to one of my favorite movies. And I’m not mad at it. In fact, I actually agree with most of his points. And I would have probably agreed back in 2003 when the film was released too. This is a witty look at this particular British Romcom, not to tar them all with the same brush, but to be fair most of them have their foibles. I really enjoyed HLARC, I’ll probably still watch Love Actually again this Christmas, but after reading this, I might not see it in the same way that I did 17 years ago!

Thank you to #NetGalley and #ParthianBooks for giving me an ARC of #HowLoveActuallyRuinedChristmas by #GaryRaymond in exchange for my honest review.

5 Stars

I firmly fall into the camp of people who love, love, love Love Actually so when I read the blurb of this book I absolutely had to read it. Gary Raymond takes us through the film, scene by scene, critically appraising everything from the characters, the actors, the acting and the writing of this film that seems to have become something of a Christmas Classic. This status seems to baffle Raymond who states that “Love Actually is a bad movie”.

This book was absolutely hilarious! I read it firmly in one sitting and there were moments that I laughed out loud much to the bemusement of my husband. As a lover of the film I particularly enjoyed the behind the scenes extra information that Raymond adds into the footnotes of the book (for example, did you know that Rowan Atkinson’s character was supposed to be an angel?) I would definitely recommend this book to both lovers and haters of Love Actually, it is an all-round funny, insightful exploration of a much loved Christmas film.

Confession time as soon as the John Lewis Christmas advert appears on screen, I’m in full Christmas mood. One of the first things I like to do during this time is buy a Gingerbread Latte (in a red cup) and drink it whilst watching “Love Actually”! It is part of ritual to get my excited about the upcoming season.

Now I know “Love Actually” is filled with flaws and problematic characters (Andrew Lincoln’s character is just awful). And the editing and time line is very confusing but for me it is the perfect movie to get me into the Christmas mood.

So why was I drawn to Gary Raymond’s book “How Love Actually Ruined Christmas”? Because, I knew the movie was like marmite and I wanted to know why someone would hate it so much to claim it ruined Christmas.

Raymond, divided the book into the timeline of the movie and dissects each scene in turn. In a comical and thought provoking way. This is also sprinkled with fact and additional commentary about the movie. Was Hugh Grant’s character based in Tony Blair or Boris Johnson?

This book will not stop me from enjoying my yearly ritual, it did make me watch the movie with fresh eyes! And provide a fun commentary on this Christmas movie.

I received an ARC from the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

As a fan of Love Actually, but with an of awareness of the fact it isn't perfect and it has it's flaws - as soon as I saw this I wanted to read it to truly get the view from the other side of the coin. While I do feel Gary Raymond had some interesting points it also feels self indulgent, like it's written by someone whose friends are possibly a bit fatigued with his rants about a Christmas romcom. He literally writes that the book is here to serve his ego, and you really pick that up from the get go.

I found his perspective on Harry and Karen well thought out - maybe their story arc isn't quite as straight forward as we initially would be led to believe with there being more to it than Harry just being a "classic fool". His opinion on Colin as "the most repulsive sex pest" is spot on as well.

Gary Raymond is, however, a little misguided in his complaining - he mentions numerous times how offensive a lot of it is, and how fat jokes shouldn't be allowed but in the same breath comments on the appearance of an actual child (calling his looks "creepy"). It just didn't sit right with me.

He also spent so much time mentioning the fat jokes and offensive humour that he failed to spot one of the most glaring plot holes in the film, which is slightly disappointing as someone that spent hours upon hours watching it to find things to complain about.

There are some genuine funny moments and overall it's an interesting, quick read for both fans of Love Actually and those who aren't.

As a regular viewer of ‘love actually’ I was interested to see how this book would develop.

Whilst I’m critical of stuff in life, i have generally watched movies for enjoyment. I loved 4 weddings and a funeral, I watched it countless times before Love Actually was released, so I loved this movie too. I was interested in how the odd things in the film (which I think don’t bother me as I watch it at Christmas when I’ve turned off those bits of me) present to others. The author was funny and it was an enjoyable read.

Will the book put me off settling down to rewatch Love Actually? No. I’m sure I’ll watch it for many years to come.

Thanks for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review. Thanks to Netgalley, Gary Raymond and the publisher.