“That day I found out you liked pale toast with margarine… what the fuck does that say about a person?”

I’d seen Sarah Crossan pop up a few times on Booksta over the past few weeks, and particularly noted that she also wrote in verse. After how much I enjoyed reading Clap When You Land (also written in verse) I wanted to give something else a try, and stumbled across the audiobook version of Here Is The Beehive on NetGalley.

The story is narrated by Sarah Crossan herself - her delivery is engaging, it’s great to have her voice as the main character and works really well with the story, I also particularly enjoyed her voices for some of the other characters 😉

The story itself follows the main character, Ana, and her multiple story threads: her work life, her personal life with her husband and young children, and flashbacks to the affair she was having. I’ve read a couple of stories this year that centre around the subject of marriages falling apart/infidelity and found this story just hit a few more beats than some of the other books I’ve read. For a start, I found the intertwining of her work life/affair life story an interesting combination and liked how this lead to further relationships with other characters as the book progressed. I constantly felt sorry for her poor husband, although the proposal story in Pizza Hut with their ‘so, shall we just go get married now then’ attitude said a lot about their relationship. The affair storyline made me hate the characters in the right ways, but equally intrigued me enough to find out their motivations, whereas I found the side storyline with her sister a bit ‘filler’ in that ‘best friend in a rom-com’ way.

I liked that the whole book was from Ana’s perspective only - the narration really gets inside your head and I had a real image of life in her shoes, which made me subconsciously think through her thoughts and decisions as the book progressed.

I will certainly be looking at more Crossan books, and if anyone has any recommendations please let me know! Hopefully my next book in verse might be a hard copy of a book (one on my kindle and one as an audiobook now!) so I can actually properly see the layout of the verse text!

Ana is sitting in her lawyer’s office when she gets a phone call from Rebecca, saying her husband has died. But when Ana hear’s the name of Rebecca’s husband - Connor, it throws her into a spiral. Rebecca’s husband is the man Ana’s been having an affair with for the past three years.

Now Ana’s finds herself alone, trapped inside her secret grief and her life, her marriage, her relationships with her family and friends, are unravelling. How can she grieve for the man she loved, the end of her secret relationship, if the world knew nothing about it?

Before I go further, I want to point out two things out. The first is that this is written in free verse (in the same style as Sarah’s previous novel, One, which is fabulous and I highly recommend, so it’s not going to be a linear as other novels (and I was intrigued on how free-verse will translate onto audiobook). The second is I asked to review this audiobook was the cover. Doesn’t look like lovely?

Now, Sarah’s writing is wonderful. It lives up to One. And Sarah narrates the audiobook, which gives an extra layer. She knows the rhythm and beats, and this comes across.

And yet… There are things that just don’t work.

Maybe it would have been better if I have read this, but from some of the reviews I’ve read, maybe not. The book has duel timeline - Ana grieving for Connor’s death and how it’s affect her/everyone around her, then her and Connor meeting of the affair throughout the year - and yet there is no real transitions between the two. It’s quite jarring at times.

But the main thing I have issue with is the characters, mainly Ana and Connor. I’m sorry, but I felt no sympathy towards them. In fact, I came away from this quite angry with them both. I understand that we come into the story at the end of the affair and in Ana’s grief, but I found Ana truly unlikeable: self-centred, selfish, horrid to people around her (her husband, her friends, her mother, her sister, her children). Connor was exactly the same, but he felt more pathetic and weak-willed, wanting his cake and eating it, wanting Ana but not willing to leave Rebecca. This affair is toxic and quite harmful to themselves and people around them, and Ana’s grief turns almost obsessive as she compares herself to the mythical Rebecca before meeting her and trying to become her friend (I see you, Daphne du Maurier).

While Sarah’s writing and reading is beautiful, the characters and what this story wanted to do just didn’t work for me. For someone else, this will hit that sweet-spot perfectly, but not for me, I’m afraid. I’ll be sticking with One.

An interesting fairly short audiobook which whist not riveting did keep me happily listening. There are some big unlikely things around how Ana behaved at work unless solicitors are far more understanding than any other workplace I’ve heard of. You gradually learn more and more about Ana and Conor yet little surprises still hit you when you least expect it. I would have enjoyed it more without Ana’s obnoxious friend and her sister neither of whom were characters that added to the book.

Here is the Beehive by Sarah Crossan

Definitely one of the best audiobooks I’ve listened to this year (and I’ve listened to plenty!).

I loved the way the characters jumped out, the way the setting was so clear that I felt like I was in it. Yet it was only 4 hours long!
Sarah is definitely a master storyteller.

The tension, the way the story revealed itself and the ending were just right. Ana’s behaviour was sad and creepy yet I could empathise with her grief.

The writing, the pace of narration and Sarah’s own voice were a brilliant combination.

I loved it! Thanks netgalley and Bloomsbury UK Audio.

This is an audio book review of Here Is The BeeHive by Sarah Crossan.
Ana and Connor had been having an affair for three years. Ana is a lawyer and one day she receives a phone call from a woman whose husband has passed away. It turns out the woman’s husband is Ana’s lover.
I felt thrust into a whole storm of emotion upon listening to this audiobook. Ana’s infatuation with Connor is so overwhelming for her that she puts her own family in jeopardy. We are taken through the early lustful stages of the affair where deceit rules over common sense through to Anna’s raw grief at her loss of Connor. Also her obsession with Rebecca I felt a little uncomfortable with at times but ultimately the sadness and the loss is palpable in every sentence and is echoed in the narration by Sarah Crossan herself who keeps the sorrowful tempo suiting the mood perfectly.
This is a shorter audio book but still packs a punch - it is beautiful, unique and beguiling.
Thank you to Netgalley and to Bloomsbury for my gifted copy.

How do you begin grieving for someone you weren't supposed to love? Sarah Crossan addresses this heartbreaking question with unflinching honesty through her beautiful writing. She perfectly captures the sense of loss and longing. "Here Is The Beehive" tackles a subject seldom discussed but which undoubtedly impacts a significant number of people. If, for whatever reason, you've ever loved someone you shouldn't (and who hasn't?) then this book will resonate with you and leave you feeling a little bit raw and a big bit seen.