This book actually took me a little while to get into and I will pop on here that it has a few topics in it that some people might find a little triggering or disturbing. Overall it was pretty well written, as it goes along it gets darker and more distrubing and that's where the dark grittiness of the storyline comes in. Which is where I kinda got more dragged into the book. I'm not totally sure what I made of this book.

This was a powerful book that dealt really well with a very sensitive topic, well written and not for the faint hearted given the topic nature. It was very interestingly written from the viewpoint of the child and the author got this spot on. Intriguing and very unique.

Sadly this book just wasnt for me. I don't doubt that this is a good book or wh yso many people would love.
The first like shocked me instantly and drew me in, but sadly after that line I just lost interest which is very sad.

It was my personal experience, but others will likely love this

This is one of those books where I wondered what on earth possessed me to request it. The premise sounded somewhat intriguing but not really enough to entice me so I've no idea why I requested it. I read a few reviews before diving into the story of Chrissie (then) and Julia (now) and most were promising so I thought I might be pleasantly surprised. I was not.

The premise talked of eight year old Chrissie having murdered a boy in her neighbourhood. Even at that tender age, the feeling of power it gave her, the warm fuzzy feeling like soda pop in her belly made her feel powerful. She had a secret; one that no one knew about. Even when all the mammies and daddies were huddling around poor dead Steven in his mammy's arms. If he were not already dead, then he would have surely suffocated by the flabby breasts of his mother. But he's dead. And Chrissie killed him.

Fifteen years later, Chrissie is an adult living and hiding under a new name. Now Julia, she is a single mother to five year old Molly and all she wants is for her daughter to have all the things and the childhood that she had been denied. But now Julia's past is catching up to her. Someone knows her secret and she begins getting calls that taunt her. Someone knows the truth about what happened all those years ago. And now Julia risks losing the one thing that means more to her than anything - Molly.

The concept behind this story reminds me of the child killers of little Jamie Bulger who was only about 2 or 3 when he was killed by two boys only a few years older. Those boys served their time and were given new identities upon their release. But this story takes the reader on a dark and thought-provoking journey with one such child who took the life of another child. And it's not always what it seems. And it makes one question the judgements one is usually quick to make about child killers. Should they get a new identity and a new life? And what provokes them to murder in the first place? One thing is for sure, nothing is ever as it seems.

Chrissie's story may be a sad and heartbreaking one, disturbing even. But I couldn't connect to either her or her adult self as Julia. Both of them were just so disconnected it was hard to not just relate, but to even be drawn into her story. Don't get me wrong, it was cleverly written and thought-provoking but it was so uninteresting that I just wasn't all that bothered with what happened to Julia in the end. She may have loved Molly but it certainly didn't seem that way on the pages. Of course that stems from her disturbing childhood where she only wanted love but never received it. Naturally that made it difficult for her to relate to her own child. Julia and Molly were just so disconnected from each other that I just couldn't watch. I'm not overly maternal but Julia seemed even less so. It was painful.

In the end, I couldn't finish this book. I could barely begin it. The pace was so slow it was almost as dead as Steven with a narrative that felt very disjointed. Although I didn't enjoy it, plenty of others have. It was indeed a brave topic for a debut but it wasn't for me.

I would like to thank #NancyTucker, #Netgalley, #PenguinBooks for an ARC of #TheFirstDayOfSpring in exchange for an honest review.

This review appears on my blog at https://stinathebookaholic.blogspot.com/.

This book definitely had me hooked from the first page. It was mysterious and all encompassing. However, for me that’s where the positives end. I felt the story itself lacked depth and it struggled to keep my attention. I’d read a few pages and just feel utterly bored. I think the writing itself was good and I look forward to what the author writes next.

I was unable to finish this book because it became too dark and disturbing to read. I was unable to reconcile the murder of a child with the thought of the protagonist being a mother now.
Since the book kept jumping timelines it also became confusing for me to follow. I am unable to connect with the material, so it won't turn up in my recommendations.

The First Day of Spring by Nancy Tucker another great read from Netgalley

If you're a fan of We Need to Talk About Kevin or The Push then this is definitely a book you need to pick up asap.

CW: child murder, child abuse, neglect

With the first line of the book being 'I killed a little boy today.' You know from the start this is going to be a rough read. An amazing one despite the difficult subjects it approaches throughout the book.

When 8 year old Chrissie kills a little boy called Stephen, the streets are in turmoil, adament to catch the child killer. Little do they know she walks among them, doing handstands, going to school, playing alongside their own children, desperate to do it again.

20 years later Chrissie has a new identity and now has a daughter of her own. Desperate to stay hidden with a new name, desperate to be a good mother.

With a dual timeline the story unfolds and you see the inner workings of Chrissie's tormented mind in this disturbing domestic thriller. Neglected by her mother she wanders the streets.

At times you are horrified by her thoughts and yet you feel torn for this child who is so unwanted and unloved seeking validation. She is so angry with everything and everyone.

I struggled to put this one down even though I found it quite disturbing and sad.

The first line of this book is probably the best first line I’ve ever read. The story is harrowing and beautiful - it will absolutely stay with me for a long time. I shall be recommending this to my friends who work in education. Incredible.

This is quite an uncomfortable read due to the subject and I struggled the like they main character Chrissie even though she has clearly been neglected as a child which played into her actions but I never felt any remorse from her even when she had her own child and that made it hard to warm to her however the story was fascinating.

Told alternately by Chrissie, who is an eight year old child, and Julia who is an adult with a young child, we learn of the had life Crissie leads, which results in a terrible crime. Very thought provoking.

The First Day of Spring is a compelling and disturbing story that takes us into the darkest thoughts we could imagine. Nancy Tucker has written an unforgettable psychological drama that stands out as a remarkable debut novel.

It is chilling to think of Chrissie, an eight-year-old girl, who opens the story with the line “I killed a little boy today.” What forcefully hits home is the lack of remorse and the clarity of thought as to what happened and how she behaved. It is incredibly unsettling to imagine a child making a conscious decision to kill another child, and that the act of murder made her feel like God and gave her a sense of excitement with a buzz in her stomach. Tick, tick, tick until she can do it again.

“‘So that was all it took,’ I thought. ‘That was all it took for me to feel like I had all the power in the world. One morning, one moment, one yellow-haired boy. It wasn’t so much after all.’ “

Undoubtedly, we’re looking at a psychopath, and with the apparent lack of compassion, Nancy Tucker does a fantastic job of crafting the personality of Chrissie with her intelligent manipulative traits. She takes steps to remain close to the action, daring and unperturbed, discussing the murder with adults, the parents of the child, and police while concealing that she is the killer. Chrissie is a fascinating character, with her friends, at school, with adults and shockingly with her parents. Some minor level of empathy is possible when you consider the disdain her mother has always shown her and the physical state she characterises with lack of food, clothing and cleanliness. The interactions between the children were genuine, and the subtle ways Chrissie demonstrated her callous manipulative behaviour was superb.

Julie is twenty-eight years old and is a single parent with a young daughter, Molly. She worries about social services taking Molly away, especially when Molly broke her arm in a fall when Julie was beside her. Julie has a very nervous and uncertain outlook, fearful of being a parent and a neighbour. The reason for the apprehension and the social services monitoring of her child is unsurprising when you learn Julie is Chrissie twenty years later and after being released from Juvenile Detention. This second timeline works well for reflection, trying to establish a new life and new norm, and if you weren’t provided with the connection, you would believe these to be two very different people. My only issue with this story is the disbelief that the complete transformation of a psychopath can occur, when the tendencies from Chrissie feel part of her DNA.

The First Day of Spring is such a beautifully written book that captures the horrific mood surrounding the murder of a child. The writing conveys the scary environment where an unknown killer threatens the most vulnerable in the community and how adults and children react in this scenario. I couldn’t understand the stark difference between Chrissie and Julie’s personalities, causing me uncertainty about rating this book. I want to thank Random House UK, Cornerstone and NetGalley for providing a free ARC in return for an honest review.

A book of two halves - firstly told by Chrissie, an 8 year old girl neglected. by her parents and allowed to roam wild. You can’t help but feel sorry for her whilst fearing her at the same time. The second half is narrated by a grown up Chrissie, now called Julia who is scared social services will take her own daughter away from her.
Quite a difficult read due to,the topics covered but definitely a page turner.

A chilling protagonist, but it was hard not to feel compassion towards her.

‘Bet you can’t see me, bet you can’t find me, bet you can’t catch me.’

There’s something about eight-year-old Chrissie that makes adults wary. Her teacher finds her a handful – argumentative, cheeky, disruptive, and disobedient, and her friend’s mammy even calls her a ‘bad seed’ to her face. Not that Chrissie cares, because her teacher and the mammies are mean and stupid. She firmly believes she is superior to everyone else.

But the adults are right to be afraid. Because Chrissie has a big secret – on the first day of spring she killed a neighbourhood boy named Steven.

Don’t tell…

The First Day of Spring was definitely an emotional read. Half of the novel was narrated by Chrissie as a child, beginning the day of the murder and covering the months after, as the eight-year-old struggled to contain her true nature, used lies and fabrication to cover her tracks, all the while wanting to brag that she was the one who had killed Steven. Chrissie’s upbringing was one of poverty, neglect, emotional abuse, poor nutrition high in sugar, and lack of supervision. There is no doubt in my mind that the early childhood parental abuse inflicted on Chrissie, stunted her emotional, social, cognitive, and physical development exacerbating her psychopathy. As you would expect, Chrissie’s thoughts were disturbing and dark, and her uncontrollable urges to hurt others and do wrong made this a tough read. But, her honesty, innocence, pain, and lack of understanding of the consequences of her actions, coupled with her abusive situation, and the fact that every grown-up in her life let her down, elicited a lot of empathy, and I couldn’t help growing attached to her.

‘Your mam was the one who was supposed to fill you up when you felt empty, but she had never done that for me. She had given me dregs and scrapings of warmth.’

Not that I ever forgot what Chrissie was – a dangerous, unpredictable ticking time bomb – meaning my sympathy only stretched so far.

Fast forward to another first day of spring, where we were introduced to the second narrator, an adult Chrissie, now twenty-five, with a young daughter of her own. She’s using the name Julia, to hide her identity, as Chrissie’s secret is no longer a secret. The public considers her a monster, a child killer – and so does Julia, as how can she not be, when she’s done such unforgivable things? She lives on tenterhooks that her daughter Molly, the person she loves most in the world, will be taken away from her, while deep down she knows she deserves to lose her daughter, that Molly would be better off without her. Then, the phone calls start. Someone has found her… again…

‘The bunk was twice as long as me, because the cells weren’t meant for kids. If you were younger than ten you didn’t usually go to the cell or have a trial, because whatever bad thing you had done, you were just a kid and it wasn’t your fault. I was only eight, but I still got a cell and a trial. Some things were so bad they stopped you being a kid.’

Nancy Tucker injected a lot of humour into her writing as well, which you would think would be in bad taste, but it completely worked, and prevented things becoming too bleak and depressing. Because that just wouldn’t work for 320 pages.

This will be a slight spoiler as it was not revealed until a quarter of the way through, but as far as trigger warnings go, I feel it’s important to mention that the boy Chrissie killed was only two years old, meaning this read might be too much for some people to stomach. In the prologue, Steven’s referred to as ‘a baby’, and there was an early flashback scene where Chrissie was introduced to Steven when he was a week old and she’s already started primary school, so I knew he couldn’t have been very old when he died. But, it was still a shock to the system to find out that he was so little, undoubtedly too shocking for some to even pick up this book, and I fully understand.

I was a little confused regarding when the book took place, and having finished I’m still none-the-wiser. I had Chrissie’s time period pin-pointed to late 1970’s, and Julia’s to early 90’s, as there were no references to mobile phones or the internet in either POV, Chrissie’s schooling mirrored mine, and video tapes were mentioned circa Julia/Chrissie aged eighteen. But then that theory was blown out the window when a young Chrissie mentioned Stars in their Eyes which didn’t start screening on Irish television until 1990, so now I’m thinking Julia’s time period was more likely set 2007 at the earliest.

So, the week before my audio version was ready to borrow via overdrive I was approved for an e-ARC, but decided to hold off so I could listen instead of read. I suspected this was going to be an amazing audiobook though, because when my loan became available, the no. of days I was allowed the title had been reduced from 25 days to 20, due to popular demand. And I take my hat off to the gifted narrator, Kristin Atherton, as this was one of the best audio listens ever! Applaud! Applaud! Gotta love an East Irish accent. Her voices for the children – Chrissie, Molly, the neighbourhood kids – were incredible. I would definitely listen to this audiobook again, and plan to buy myself a copy via audible.

I’d like to thank Netgalley, Penguin Random House UK Cornerstone, and Nancy Tucker for the e-ARC. I have added The First Day of Spring to my favourites list. More fiction of this high calibre, pretty please Nancy Tucker.

Would rate this 4.5 stars if I could. Dark, dark, and more dark! I'm struggling with my thoughts on this one, not because it was bad - it was a good read. But because it was a very difficult read, straying into definite grey areas.

It was very clever looking at the nature vs nurture angle, and it really made me think. I still can't decide if I've forgiven Chrissie; clearly, she had an awful upbringing and is remorseful, but what she did...

I still can't get over her mother; I'm so angry on Chrissie's behalf. I did feel the ending was a bit too abrupt - I would have liked to see what happens next.

Overall, I would recommend it but give the warning that it is a difficult and uncomfortable story - but told brilliantly.

Thank you to Netgalley for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Wow-What can I saw-such a powerful and thought-provoking debut.

Brilliant-well-written-fantastic gripping narrative.

A recommended read.

This book I had grabbed from Netgalley last year and had forgotten it amongst all my other thousands of books until recently on one of the book groups on Facebook, I belong to had posted a snippet of the first page and OMFG I read it and was like I need to read that book right now and thought before checking the library Libby app, on the off chance I would check my Kindle and there it was. So that instantly became my next read. This was a snipped from the first chapter of the book that captured my attention:
I killed a little boy today. Held my hands around his throat, felt his blood pump hard against my thumbs. He wriggled and kicked and one of his knees caught me in the belly, a sharp lasso of pain. I roared. I squeezed. Sweat made it slippery between our skins but I didn't let go, pressed and pressed until my nails were white. It was easier than I thought it would be.
Sound fantastic right??? In The First Day of Spring, we meet eight-year-old Chrissie who is viewed as the "bad seed" of the town as she kills two-year-old Steven. The book then continues with the town trying to discover who did it and Chrissie loving seeing the police scramble trying to find the killer. Later Chrissie feels the urge again and this time kills another and finally is caught. The book then flips to the Present time where Chrissie is now known as Julia and living with her daughter Molly and trying to be the best mum she can be. I liked the ending of this book as it explained a lot why Chrissie had killed and I have to admit by the end of the story, I felt for Chrissie and just wished that someone could have seen her pain and that really, she isn't a bad person but just didn't know how to act and handle her thinking. The First Day of Spring is told in two POVs - the Past as Chrissie and the Present as Julia.
If you love murder and don't mind child killers and children killed, then The First Day of Spring by Nancy Tucker is a book to add to your reading list for 2022.

I quite enjoyed this book. It was gripping from the first sentence and it kept me reading. It was a very interesting book and well written.

I absolutely adored this. I really needed a thriller to bounce back from a little reading slump and this was perfect. It was equal parts heartbreaking and terrifying. Chrissie was the devil but at the heart of it neglected and unloved. Just brilliant and loved it!

I must be honest, and admit that I struggled with the first quarter of this book, until something just seemed to click in to place for me. It is a difficult read with often harrowing subject matter, but it is an important book nonetheless.

Chrissie is a neglected young girl, often left to fend for herself with no clean clothes and no food. Unloved and uncared for, she can often be found wandering the streets, or picking select friends to 'play' with, because she knows that she will be fed, or at the very least be able to have some sweets.

She is afraid of nothing, and no one, even brazenly stealing from the local shop so that she can get her hands on sweets, defying the shopkeeper, and confirming her own thoughts that she is 'bad'. Chrissie understands that being bad makes her feel powerful, a feeling that she doesn't get at home.

A feeling that leads to her act in a terrifying manner with tragic consequences...

Julia is a scared first time Mum, scared of messing up, and scared of the authorities due to her unconventional upbringing. Although she is scared that they may take her daughter away, she doesn't feel that she should be. She feels that she deserves to be punished for a terrible crime she committed when she was younger, and that justice will finally be served.

She is unable to forgive herself, so why should anyone else?

The First Day of Spring is a remarkable book, recommended but with a word of caution-it's not for the easily disturbed.

This is a difficult distressing read but certainly a page turner. It’s told over two timelines, one as 8 year old Chrissie child killer and the other as adult Chrissie with her own daughter. The killing of a child is hard enough, but when it’s committed by another child it’s hard to understand. Chrissie was unloved, underfed and left to her own devices. She didn’t have any boundaries or parental guidance. Did this lead her to become a killer? In that respect you can’t help but feel empathy for her, even though you know what she did was very wrong. I found my feelings for her flip all the way through the book and it’s certainly not for the faint hearted. This is the author’s debut novel and I would definitely read more from them. Thank you to NetGalley and Random House UK, Cornerstone, Penguin for letting me read and review this book.