Where to start with this book that has blown me away. Unable to categorise in any genre , as unique in writing about a difficult subject matter that would generally be considered abhorrent , yet handled with sensitivity, objectivity and the ability to relate a story without any judgmental bias. The chief protagonist goes back over her life in two guises. Chrissie the young neglected eight year old struggling to deal with rejection, hunger and abuse. She carries her, Never Ever Cry, as her badge of honour, no matter how hungry, how unloved or how hurt. Years in witness protection may have changed both name, now Julia and persona but inwardly she is still the frightened child struggling to live in a frightening world that she feels unable and ill equipped to survive. So, slowly we share in painstaking agony, her back story, in a child’s language and perception she views the cruelty and small kindnesses of the world she grew up in. The characters all three dimensional, are drawn in such exquisite detail that we really know them through the eyes of this child. Her tragedy is our tragedy. This book should be compulsory reading matter for social workers, probation officers and anyone charged with child welfare. Nothing in this book is black or white, just page after page of shades of grey. The author should be proud, very proud. Any misconceptions I may have harboured have been destroyed upon reading this five star read on every level. Many thanks to Author, Publishers and NetGalley for opening my mind with this ARC.

This is an excellent read. A chilling underlying theme runs throughout but this is not the only good aspect to this novel. There are many twists and turns that are shocking and heart wrenching.
The book is well written and the main character and her story is built upon gradually throughout the novel. You feel all the emotions with her and you are led through all her emotions. You begin to empathise with heer development.
Read it through to the end!

Rarely does a book drag you through a whole host of emotions, but this story certainly does that!
You question yourself and what you think of your own moral standing on different issues. I found myself on more than a few occasions actually crying and also laughing out loud.
A book full of conflicting emotions, brilliantly written and a must read!

This was a gripping read. I really enjoyed it, if you can sat that about such a subject matter. It was dark and sinister and really quite terrifying at times. Chrissie is dark, disturbing and lacks any kind of remorse. She draws you in and we see quite clearly how the mind of a psychopath works. Nancy Tucker sure knows how to write. I won't forget this read for a long time to come.

“I killed a little boy today. Held my hands around his throat, felt his blood pump hard against my thumbs. […] When his face was the colour of milk jelly I sat back on my heels and shook my hands.”
-Chrissie, 8

Thus reads the chilling opening of The First Day of Spring, a debut so stunning in all its facets as to leave you slack jawed in awe. Ignore the pretty cover and innocuous title. They only distract and deceive. For there is nothing pretty about this powerfully intimate study of deprivation and neglect, guilt, fear and redemption. This is a story that will shock and dismay, prod and provoke, and ask questions that you’d rather hide from than answer.

The story is told alternately through the eyes of young Chrissie, the child murderer, and her reformed adult persona, Julie, now living under a new identity and with a daughter of her own.

Because of the way the book is presented — dual timeline and narrative — it’s tempting to talk about Chrissie and Julie as if they were two distinct characters. They’re not, of course; the one is the product of the other. And this is an idea that Tucker manipulates with sublime skill.

Chrissie is a child who’s difficult to like. She’s feral, cocky and tough, and a bully. But, there’s a reason she’s like this. To all intents and purposes, Chrissie is alone in the world; abandoned by a feckless father and horribly neglected by her mother. Killing toddler Steven fills her with power; a delicious, bubbling fizz of it that replaces the gnawing hunger in her belly.

Julie lives alone with Molly, 5. After years in residential care, she’s been given another chance. But the deeds of her childhood taint her still. Ever under the watchful eye of social services, she’s trying to be a good mum, to be everything her own mother wasn’t. The thought of failure, and having Molly taken away from her, is utterly terrifying; a bitter irony that haunts her daily.

As a reader, it’s impossible not to be drawn into Chrissie’s and Julie’s worlds. To feel sympathy for a wronged child and her wrongdoing, and for an adult seeking to make amends for those wrongs. Chrissie’s first-person voice is especially convincing: bravado masking an aching loneliness, envy, and vulnerability.

But what truly elevates this book is Tucker’s prose. Sparse, raw, and searingly honest, it conveys so much with so little and left me emotionally spent. What a sensational debut from this talented author. More where this came from, please.

This book was incredible. From the very first line until the last, I was hooked and I devoured this as quickly as I could. This was also a buddy read with a friend as I read the first chapter of this book and immediately messaged her to see if she had already read it, which she hadn’t. So she ordered it and we read it together and both adored it.

I loved the voices that came through from both Chrissie and Julia. The character development was brilliant and I found myself really empathising with Chrissie. Chrissie’s childhood is crushing and so difficult to read at times. Her willingness to see the best in those closest to her is both relatable and maddening. Knowing that the author is a psychologist by profession is so evident through her ability to capture Chrissie’s 8 year old voice and to put all of her feelings into such a powerful narrative, it is testament to her exceptional writing style. Julia’s storyline is equally as powerful and incredibly raw.

The themes that this book deals with are horrific - child murder, child abuse / neglect, alcoholism, attempted murder. I was also so pleased to find some positive representation of professionals at the end of this book - it’s so nice to see given them area of law I work in. (Childcare, advising social workers).

This for me is a must read for everyone who loves psychological thrillers. It’s by no means a light read, but it’s fantastically paced, easily devoured and so incredibly complex. I loved it.

I’d go so far as to say that this may be my favourite book of the year so far now, this just has that special something that you always hope a thriller will have. I’ll be recommending it to everyone!

THE EASIEST FIVE STARS OF THE YEAR!

Once I have taken a photo I will be posting to insta and will send the link.

An extremely engaging and emotional read. The author managed to capture the voice and mindset of 8 year old, Christie, so well.

Chrissie is neglected at home. Feeling unloved and hungry, she has to rely on stealing milk from school and visiting her friend’s house for tea. The bond with her friend, Linda is well written and I loved how this is revisited near the end.

The narrative alternates between Chrissie’s story and her new life as Julia with her own daughter, Molly.

It brings up the question of how long is an adequate punishment for a child murderer? Are they old enough to truly understand their actions?

In Chrissie’s case she truly believes Steven can come back from being dead, just like her estranged ‘da’ keeps reappearing. The neglect she has suffered was bound to have an effect on her mental health. I am glad the author gave her a second chance at life.

I would highly recommend this read and will definitely be looking out for more by this author.

Thanks indeed to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC.

‘The First Day of Spring’ -Nancy Tucker
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
⚠️ Infant fatalities, ideation of killing, descriptions of murder, child neglect⚠️

This book is sensational; it challenges your thinking and re-wires a previously intuitive, ‘knee-jerk’ response to killers. What happens when the desire to kill is fed by trauma and further still, what happens when the killer is no more than an eight year old girl?

Tucker presents a psychological exploration in this novel, told first hand by Chrissie, age 8 and Julia, 28. Initially ‘The First Day of Spring’ follows Chrissie, within her psyche, as she navigates the world around her at a vulnerable age. Irrevocably denied of her basic needs to survive, the reader embarks on a voyueristic journey of a primal instinct to survive and how this neglect has the force to ignite fear and hatred catalysing a skewed perception of people; including mistrust, defiance and the plight to become noticed, by any means necessary.

Nancy Tucker is certainly a name to watch for future publications. This gritty and harrowing story of survival was immensely crafted, bravo!

A powerful psychological novel beginning with the words 'I killed a little boy today'. You know your in for a rollercoaster ride after reading that sentence. This book examines what compels a child to commit a heinous crime. This story begins when Chrissie is 8 and then continues when Chrissie is 28 and now with a child of her own. Chrissie is living under a fake name, trying to give her child the childhood she herself was deprived of when she starts receiving threatening phone calls. They are still looking for her and what do they want?

This was a very moving thriller. Told in dual timelines - the past and present - we see how Chrissie's history affects Julia's life now.

I actually found this very upsetting to read, particularly Julia's parts and her fear over potentially losing her daughter and how Chrissie's neglect and the perception of her by school and other parents, led to such tragedy.

It made me think about how we as adults, place so much more on children that they could possibly bear at that age - and how utterly reliant they are on their carers/parents.

A very important read.

An incredible empathetic piece of writing. Nancy Tucker explains, “Chrissie was on my shoulder while I wrote, Julia was within me.” The First Day of Spring is definitely a harrowing, uncomfortable and emotional read, which feels real. This horrific, unspeakable act gives way to an overriding feeling of helplessness at the desolation, depth of despair and worthlessness endured by Chrissie.

Wow. What a debut. I absolutely loved this book. In this book we meet Chrissie ( age 8 ), who in the opening chapter, kills a little boy. We follow the story of her childhood and my heart broke so much for her. She had no one who cared about her, no love, no home life, no food and no one who fought for her. While it obviously doesn’t justify her crime, I found myself drawn to this lost little girl. A brilliant book which will stay with me for a long time.

Eight year old Christie has strangled a toddler. She keeps this secret even from best friend Lydia, as they continue to play and watch the policemen investigate. Years later, as Julia, she is struggling to keep her own daughter, Molly, safe from harm and to prove she can cope with a child.

The First Day of Spring is not an easy book to read - the first paragraph details how the little boy was killed - but somehow it is an engaging tale. As the story progresses, and Chrissie’s home life is revealed in more detail, there comes an understanding, not necessarily of why she did it, but how it could happen. Then the adult Julia, still suffering from the same insecurities and the loss of the institution that supported her for many years, making the wrong choices for the right reasons. Her fear that Molly would be taken away from her was a feeling that I could empathise with and her actions are consistent and believable.

A tough read but a great one,

What they say: When Chrissie was eight, she killed a child. Fifteen years later, she has one of her own. I killed a little boy today. Held my hands around his throat, felt his blood pump hard against my thumbs. He wriggled and kicked and one of his knees caught me in the belly, a sharp lasso of pain. I roared. I squeezed. Sweat made it slippy between our skins but I didn’t let go, pressed and pressed until my nails were white. It was easier than I thought it would be. Chrissie is eight years old, and she has just killed a two-year-old boy. Her playmates are tearful and their mothers are terrified, keeping them locked up indoors. Chrissie knows how to steal sweets from the shop without getting caught, the best hiding place for hide-and-seek, the perfect wall for handstands. Now she has a new secret. It gives her a fizzing, sherbet feeling in her belly. She doesn’t get to feel power like this at home, where food is scarce and attention scarcer. Fifteen years later, Julia is working in a fish and chip shop and trying to mother her five-year-old daughter, Molly. She is always worried – about affording food and school shoes, about what the other mothers think of her. Most of all she worries that the social services are about to take Molly away. That’s when the phone calls begin. Julia is too afraid to answer, because it’s clear the caller knows the truth – that Julia is Chrissie, living under the new name given to her when she was released from prison eight years before. Julia wants to give Molly the childhood she was denied, and that means leaving Chrissie in the past. But Chrissie doesn’t want to be left.

My thoughts: A powerful story which stays with you long after reading it. So well written, dark and disturbing but very compelling. It was very moving, the tales of Chrissie's life as a youngster and how she reflected later on as Julia, in her new identity. The writing is remarkable, hard to believe this is a debut, definitely an author to keep an eye on. I would recommend this as a thoroughly absorbing thriller, emotional, pacy and well worth reading.

I was really looking forward to reading this one, but I think I've missed something somewhere as the rave reviews I've seen didn't ring for me? Don't get me wrong, this book was good, it was different and it kept me engrossed but it was also a little dull in places, and hard to read too due to the content. It tells the story of Chrissie and her childhood vs Chrissie as an adult and as a Mum and treading those paths carefully, and it draws you in emotionally and although you hate her, you're also rooting for her....strange blend of book that works, but I wish I'd loved it more! Definitely worth a read if you like your thrillers 💗

Thank you to Netgalley for my beautiful copy of this book!
From the beginning I loved Chrissie and my heart absolutely broke for her.
She commits an awful crime as a child and from knowing true stories like this you always wonder how you can feel sorry for the perpetrator, however you soon see how the turn of events came about and why Chrissie was like she was.
She had no love and support or guidance through life and was let down at every opportunity.
Hearing the story through Chrissie and Julia gave you the complete picture of what life had been like before and after the crime.
This book is emotional, dark and deep but also a truly brilliant read and a book that you won't be able to forget in a hurry.

i’m really not happy to say this but i dnf’ed this at 38% :(

i went into this one with high expectations after seeing raving reviews and the book opening with “i killed a little boy today” but i just didn’t connect with the book at all.

this time around it really is a “it’s me, not you” / “right book, wrong time” situation. i just didn’t feel excited to pick it up and i wasn’t gravitating towards it to find out what happens next.

i will probably give this another shot if i see it in the shops when i find it in paperback, since that’s my preferred reading format. i guess it a see you later, rather than a goodbye🥲👋🏼

It's the first day of spring, flowers are blooming, cute baby animals will be born, the smell of summer is in the air and........ a child is dead. And not just dead, but murdered! I got oh around.... 1 millisecond into this audiobook before being shocked! It literally starts with the killer describing in pretty graphic detail how they killed the child. So to say this book just throws you in at the deep end is an understatement. I felt like this initial feeling of disbelief and discomfort continued throughout the book. Readers get to go back in time and see what led to the killer's actions, and let me just say, I did have some sympathy for their childhood, the abuse they suffered is unacceptable. But does that justify or explain why they became a killer? You decide.
The chapters in the current day from Julia's perspective were really interesting, especially discovering how the murder of a child she had played with when she was little affected her life as a an adult and as a Mother herself.
I was totally gripped from the start and couldn't wait to find out what had actually happened. The conflicting emotions and thoughts I was experiencing with regards to the killer were actually enjoyable and really thought provoking.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for an advanced copy of this book in return for an honest opinion.

This was a chilling book with a harrowing topic. The writing was exceptional and I loved it. Recommended.

To write a review about this book seems wrong. It feels as if I am intruding on someone else’s life experience and diminishing it by giving my opinion. However, I will try to do justice to this remarkable author and hope that I can show the effect her storytelling had on me.
This is a powerful novel which invokes, in me, feelings of intense sadness for all the characters. Nancy Tucker has amazing insight and an understanding way beyond her years. I never read books more than once but I will certainly read The First Day of Spring again as I think it has a lot more to teach me.
Thank you Netgalley and Random House UK for giving me the opportunity to read this book and especially Nancy Tucker for sharing her talent.