Although she had committed the most heinous of crimes I couldn't help but feel sorry for Chrissie the child and adult. You couldn't say that she came from a disfunctional family, she didn't have a family, neither parent seemed to care for her, she went hungry and her clothes were filthy. She craved love but it was not forth coming, she did not live but just existed. Once she had a child to care for she tried her best to look after her but she struggled with the fear that the child Molly would be taken from her and she would be alone once again. The writing was brilliant with strong charecters but I can't say I found it an enjoyable read, it was just a bit too much for me.

I loved this book and thought it was one of the best book on motherhood and the fact that is it not because you have a child that you become a mother. Yes it's very dark in places but it is so well handled and the end is amazing. I cannot wait to read what the author writes next.

My goodness what a good but heartbreaking read this was. It pulled me in from the beginning and although it was a tough and heartbreaking read at times I was compelled to continue reading to see what would happen next. A very expressive book especially the description of how Chrissie feels fizzy like sherbet about her secret. A story of neglect and poverty that asks very difficult questions about forgiveness. A thought provoking read.

ABSOULETELY BLOODY BRILLIANT!. WOW! WOW! WOW!.
This has the best opening paragraph I have ever read, it's literally impossible to stop reading and when you reach the end you just want more and more. I love Chrissie, what a character she has, I just wanted to wrap her in my arms and give her so much love and affection, which she richly deserved. Yes, she murdered two adorable children but she was crying out for someone to see her, want her and love her. Chrissie's attitude dominated the pages and she say's some very funny things, which had me laughing out loud, especially the lamp comment which had tears rolling down my face, it's not a comical book at all and the plot is very serious but I just had to laugh. It's a heart rending read and it deals with child abuse {not sexual abuse}, Elinor, Chrissie's mum starves her and tries to kill her with tablets {smarties} and she really doesn't care about her at all, I was shouting at the pages because I so wanted Elinor to care, to show Chrissie some love and give her guidance. When it was revealed what Chrissie had written on the blue house wall, I could off cried, "you will never forget me" that is so true, this book will stay with me for a very very long time, it really does have an impact on you. This book must be read by everyone and I would like to offer huge Congratulations to Nancy Tucker, for writing such a brilliant, gripping, impactful, unputdownable book. It's phenomenal.

Beautifully written, heartbreaking and vicious in term. An interesting portrait of a child raised without love and accountability - starved in all senses of the word - and the adulthood that lies ahead

Unfortunately this book wasn't for me, far too dark for my taste and I couldn't read it all.

I am sure I will be in the minority with this, just wasn't for me.

Thank you to Netgalley and Random House (Cornerstone) for giving me the opportunity to read this book.

This is the best book I’ve read this year, no doubt.

It is so compelling because the subject matter makes you question how you feel about people who commit crimes and how they ended up doing so.

The protagonists voice is beautifully written and the author has such a lovely turn of phrase and a way of describing things that makes you feel you’re experiencing it with her.

Genuinely didn’t want to put it down but equally wanted it to go on for ever.

A dark psychological thriller doesn’t cover this book it was beyond dark every parents worst nightmare dark. I found it both intriguing and disturbing in equal measures with a complex set of characters that have you both screaming and crying. It was difficult to read especially when your name is the same as the main character!

This was such a hard book to review. I loved it but how do you say you loved about a book about a child murderer. This was not an easy read but heart-breaking all the same. Yes the crime Cassie committed was unforgiveable but reading along with her life up until the age she committed the crime and why she did it made for such a compelling story. The novel covers such a sensitive subject but equally it lays out the reasons why Chrissie does what she does and its written with such balance that you don't feel the author was trying to make excuses for her.
This is the first book by Nancy Tucker I have read but I am looking forward to reading more.
Thank you for Netgalley for this ARC copy.

I couldn’t stop reading this book, it’s a dark, psychological thriller about an 8 year old who kills a toddler. The story is told on a dual timeline one being Chrissie as an 8 year old and the other being her as an adult. It’s dark and heartbreaking.
Trigger warning: neglect, domestic violence, death of children.

What a great debut book. The story was clever in its portrayal of Chrissie who killed a child and then appears as a reformed adult called Julia. The details of Chrissie’s childhood are graphic and sad and I am sure there is good element of truth in the storyline which is brushed under the carpet. I look forward to this author’s next topic. Thanks for an ARC to all concerned.

I wasn't sure how I was going to feel reading this book with it being such a sensertive subject. However I'm blown away by this story and it will stay with me for a long time. Its so cleverly written and I liked how we are told the story by young Chrissie and her reformed character Julia. To see her as an adult and her life's journey and then reverting back to her childhood and how her own parents treat her actually makes you feel sympathetic towards her. Beautifully written and thought provoking. I can't wait to read more by Nancy Tucker.

A very hard hitting and often disturbing read. I dont think I have ever read a book narrated by a child killer before. Horrid subject but very sad as the story explores the neglect suffered by eight year old Chrissie and the devastating effects from this.

As many before me have said, this book is not an easy read. In fact it's heart breaking, grim, depressing and highly emotive. Having said that it is a tour de force and the author is to be commended on her handling of an extremely difficult topic. Chrissie and Julia are the same person but have very different voices and the author is adept at telling their stories. The book is very well constructed and written. Condoning the crime is not the author's aim but looking deeper into cause and effect is. The book is ultimately depressing but then this part of life is and it would be wrong to try and concoct "a happy ending". I'm really not sure why I can't give it 5 stars despite thinking about it before doing this review-I don't know.

The First Day of Spring by Nancy Tucker

⭐⭐⭐⭐


Chrissie is only eight when she kills a boy. It makes her feel fizzy inside. It makes her feel strong and powerful, in control. A feeling she doesn't get at home, where is is ignored by her mother, left to care for herself.

Twenty years later, adult Chrissie, now named Julia, is living an isolated life with her young daughter. All she wants to be is a good mum to Molly and to give her the life she was denied herself as a young girl. But everything is turned upside down when Molly has an accident and phone calls from an unknown number start threatening the life Julia has built for the two of them.

This book was absolutely gripping, a deeply disturbing and detailed portrayal of a young girl surviving an abusive childhood and the events that lead her to such a reprehensible act. As unlikely as it sounds, Nancy Tucker has a remarkable way of endearing the reader to Chrissie, with such intricate and thought provoking descriptions of the emotions she feels when bad things happen to her. You really feel sympathy for her as she acts out; lying, bullying and stealing all feel justifiable and understandable reactions from such a young child living in such terrible circumstances.

The characters are all complex and multilayered. All the church going neighbourhood adults who see themselves as good people all ignore the abuse Chrissie suffers, yet all but one of them fail to recognise how they each played a small part in the events that transpire. They call Chrissie a monster, the devil, but are they the real monsters for turning a blind eye to a child so desperately in need?

The hardest part of the book was that the whole story feels shockingly real, the realisation that this could be happening to a child near you right now. It is definitely a book that will stay with me a very long time.

CW- murder, child death, child abuse

Not an easy read, but one worth sticking with. At first I was worried it would be sensationalist, but it was far more compassionate and complex than I expected. The protagonist was oddly likeable and the reader really grows to understand her thoughts and feelings. Compelling and well written.

TW - neglect, child murder
If a child commits a horrendous crime could you forgive them?
Wow this book! I have never read anything quite like this before. This book might not be for everyone, as it is not an easy read. It explores a very difficult subject - child murder - however, this book was so skilfully written it made it unputdownable.
It alternates between 8 year old Chrissie and her adult self Julia, with a new identity. However, the torment of her childhood and her regrets will never leave her. It explores her life as a lonely, starved, neglected child and how people viewed her then - ‘I am a bad seed’. To having her own daughter and living with her past and trying to be the best mother she can be.
It brought up so many emotions throughout mostly angry that the other families and teachers didn’t want to see what she was going through and didn’t help her. But so much sadness for her and that children are going through this, still, today.
Very emotional read that will stay with me for a long time after. Excellently written.

With thanks to NetGalley for my advanced copy of this book in return for my honest review

Heart wrenching, powerful, devastating and just incredibly sad, this book will remain with you for a long time. The subject matter of a child killer is not one you would necessarily choose to read but although unbearably uncomfortable to read, somehow it is impossible to turn away from. Written mainly through the eyes of an eight year old child, the observations, thoughts and beliefs are so well written. The child is obviously intelligent but without guidance sees things very much in black and white. The book is extremely thought provoking and hard hitting but such clever writing. Well done Nancy Tucker.

The first point to make is that this book is not an easy read. Told through two time periods, the story centres on Chrissie at eight years old and Julia, 20 years later.
My sympathies were very much with Chrissie through most of the book. A child neglected and half starved by her mum who didn't really want her and an absent father. The horrendous crime that Chrissie is guilty of is not shied away from, although explanations are given as to why she would do such a thing and for most of the book the reader is given the impression that she didn't really understand the consequences. Much is made of her belief that dead things come back to life and you can see how she would have believed this.
Twenty years later, after Chrissie has served the time for her crimes, and she is living as Julia with a child of her own. This is where, for me, the story loses it's way a bit. I'm not for one minute saying that people can't turn their lives around, even after the worst possible starts. I also believe in rehabilitation and that once someone has served their sentence then it should be a clean slate, although if you were a victim I can also understand that you would probably have a different view. My real problem was the sudden introduction of a further crime towards the end of the book. I just couldn't see the point other than to facilitate her capture.
This is a difficult subject and highly emotional and controversial so it won't appeal to everyone. I'm sure that many people would be sickened by anyone even trying to understand crimes like this. I think that it's important to try to find out what makes people commit them so I do commend the author.

Firstly thank you so much to netgalley and random house for allowing me an advanced copy of this incredible story.

Chrissie is an 8 year old girl who spends her days roaming the streets searching for food, friendship and affection. Chrissie lives with her Mum who clearly has mental health issues. She spends her time in her room neglecting her young daughter. One day Chrissie takes 2 year old Steven to play and strangles him in a derelict house.

The story is narrated from 8 year old Chrissie sand 25 year old Chrissie (Julie) this was a horrifying and equally heart wrenching story about what drives a child to commit murder. It demonstrates the interjections that we put upon children, Chrissie is told that she is a bad seed. It explores the impact of hunger and lack of affection. What made the story all the more heart breaking were the words of 8 year old Chrissie. I really felt like i knew her and was listening to her. This book obviously has a number of triggers but it’s also a story of how people attempt to move on from the past. This book will stay with me for a long time.