Dead Dad Jokes is a book about dealing with death and the process of grief.

The author doesn't romanticise death or makes it pretty, but instead talks about it in all its ugliness. It let's the reader have a look into what dealing with a sickness, death, and loss is really like. As someone whose biggest fear is loss, it was hard to read this book. It presented such raw emotions and pain, that the reader can't do much, but think about life and their loved ones.

I rarely find a poetry book that is full of emotions, but this was definitely one of those books.

A powerful and emotional piece. Quite explicit, awkward at times, but full of real feelings about the grief of losing a loved one. There were moments when I was moved, but also moments when I smiled. An interesting collection of poems.

I received a free copy of this book in return for a truthful review! Thank you so much to the publisher and the author!

I will be honest I would not normally have picked up a book like this, as I find some poetry intimidating. I am so glad that I read this. It is raw, honest, brutal!

This had me not able to put it down, as I was feeling the emotions as they were written! It was amazingly written, which helped and I would definitely read more by this author!

For me poetry is about entering the author's feelings, and in my personal opinion the best ones are the ones you just can't touch: when you read and you go places, like their words are waves that rubs your whole body. This particular collection of poetry, however, started okay for me, and then it just made me feel completely out of place, much more like it wasn't right for me to be reading it.

I know how hard it must be to lose your dad, and especially how sad it is to the person who took care of you be in such a bad condition. I've seen my dad take care of his ill dad, and I'm seeing my mother taking care of her mother, and how difficult it is for them too to understand they need to be taken care of. So I get the author's necessity to explore the feelings that grows with the process.

At first didn't understand he was alcoholic, it was after a few chapters in that I understood how complex the author's feelings about his absence and disorder were, and his death. Because of that I think the story would work much better as a narrative than a poetry/narrative: it felt impersonal and I couldn't connect with the text, like it was missing parts for me, as a reader, to truly be attached to what I was reading.

As someone here said, I too felt like I was invading this man's space, with lots of quotes that just rubbed me the wrong way; I think some of them should just have stayed at the author's head, because I, as a reader, didn't need that much information? Like these ones, for example:

"i still
remember the feeling of my father's corpse, his
soft hands growing stiff.
ha ha. growing stiff.
like a dick, right?"

or

"everyone tells me that my dad will
always be watching over me
and i'm like
—shut up, i'm just trying to masturbate—"

or

"after all of that, the first thing i said was
—i love you dad, but couldn't you have died
the day BEFORE i had to touch your dick?—"

and another quote I literally didn't understand was:

"i knew i would be okay because i have always
been, i guess. even when rape was the gospel
preaching inside my body"

Anyway, I really don't think this collection was for me, as I personally feels like it was written like Tumblr posts, with too much details that made me uncomfortable, and the writing would be better explored if the text wasn't in this poetry style. But I appreciate the opportunity to read, and a big thanks to NetGalley for providing me with this book*

In Dead Dad Jokes, Schminkey uses their lyrical voice to describe their own complex experience with losing their father. Managing to capture the complicated emotions that go along with grief of an at-times absent father, Schminkey's words cut deep to the heart of human nature. I wish this collection had existed when I lost my father as a young, confused, twenty-something.

I picked up this book because I loved the concept and poetry in general, and this collection didn’t disappoint. It was heartbreaking, and the author did an incredible job of showcasing their turbulent relationship with a father who they loved and whose death they’re mourning, but with whom they didn’t have a perfect relationship.

I received a free e-arc from Netgalley. I lost my Dad in 2014. I also felt the urge to write afterwards. This is written as poetry or verse. It's very descriptive so that you have a vivid mental picture. It's about grief and forgiveness. I am only halfway through so far, but I'm excited to continue and explore the feelings it evokes. The memories it brings into the forefront.

Wow. I don't know what I was anticipating for this read...but it definitely wasn't that - and I mean that in the best way possible. Dead Dad Jokes was a deep and dark look at not just grieving for a parent, but for caring for a parent during the end of their life, and reconciling all those emotions when that parents wasn't the most supportive or loving during their lifetime.

I laughed. I was often shocked. And I felt deeply while reading this one. While I wouldn't recommend this for "beginners" to poetry, I do think this was a beautifully written and challenging piece.

Dead Dad Jokes tackles a topic that we all will have to deal with at some point, but that most of us prefer not to think about; the death of a parent or loved one. It is an ugly business, taking care of someone during their final weeks, days, hours. There is a dirty indignity to death and dying that Ollie Schminkey does not shy away from in this collection. They speak about the death of their father in brutal, gruesome language that doesn't flinch as it talks about bodily fluids and wound care and the complex emotional state of a caregiver.

Ollie Schminkey's openness is jarring; discussion of their complicated relationship with their father and his alcoholism, painful memories and dark thoughts in the midst of caring for him in his final days, about unresolved issues and queerness in a space where queerness is unwelcome. It is all so raw and painful and honest. Ollie doesn't try to preserve their dad's dignity in these poems. They speak candidly about catheters and cleaning up their father's pee. But they also don't try to preserve their own dignity. They tear open their heart for the reader and say "I'm an undignified mess and I don't know what to do about it at this point." They acknowledge that the death of their father has left them in this strange limbo where all the unsaid things and all of the said things and all of the things they had to do and all of the things they didn't do echo through their head and color their memories.

This poetry was so hard to read, and it is not the type of thing I would recommend lightly. There is a lot of discussion of medical care that includes graphic descriptions of wounds and things Ollie had to do for their father. There is mention of transphobia, misgendering, and unaccepting parents. There is mention of substance abuse and animal abuse (not explicit) and the trauma that comes from it all. There is a lot to unpack in this collection, but it is wonderfully written and deserves all the attention that it can get

A beautiful collection of poetry about grief, trauma and loss. Each section of the book focuses on a slightly different aspect of the author's grief; with a mixture of experiences before and after the death of their father. There were some I liked more than others, particularly the later ones, but none that I didn't like. Each piece said what it needed to say and I didn't have a problem with the more graphic ones, as I felt these were the ones that needed to be said the most. Highly recommended.

Just as the description reads, this is an unflinching look at trauma, grief, loss, and family. The collection has a number of stand out poems that grip the reader's attention and forces them to unflinchingly confront things that are hard to confront. The poems, in most cases, seem conversational, but they are equally beautiful and tragic. I highly recommend this collection, though if going through grief, you may want to wait until you're ready. This is not for the faint of heart.

This book is about the sadness that comes with losing your father. Dad's are there for scrapped knees, to worn off your first love, and to take you to your first daddy-daughter dance. The words were beautiful and heartfelt. Losing a parent is a different kind of pain.

This collection focusses almost entirely on the tragic loss of the poet’s father. Schminkey lays bare the visceral indignity of a slow, painful death. Having always had a complicated relationship with their father (an alcoholic with a violent streak), the poems do an excellent job of exploring the fraught middle-ground between grief and resentment, posing interestingly nuanced questions: Are sympathy and care familial rights, or should they have to be earned? Does death absolve someone of their mistakes? Is it wrong to feel relieved when someone finally lets go?

As a performance poet, Schminkey’s style has a strong sense of narrative and momentum, making their work very approachable. Though the razor-sharp focus on a single theme makes the collection feel cohesive, it also makes it harder for individual pieces to stand out, the relentlessly heavy subject matter a possible deterrent for some. A few pieces briefly touched on their experience with gender and identity as a trans, non-binary person, and the joy that came with acceptance of their queerness. A greater focus on this angle would have allowed for some tonal light and shade. In all, Shminkey is a poet I’m glad to have discovered.

Thank you to the publisher for a free advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

This poetry collection hit me in the gut, so hard I had to pause after many of the poems. The author’s take on their father’s alcoholism and ultimate slow death was unique, brutally honest and often heartbreaking. Having an alcoholic parent myself, I related on a level I didn’t expect to. 

There was no hiding behind anything - the author wrote in a way that was harsh yet necessary. 

This was truly a one of a kind book that I’ll remember, and one I’ll probably go back to again and again. Thank you to Netgalley, the author and publisher, for a chance to read and review this book.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for making this available..

I liked the cover design, it's very poetic and creative.

"Every page is raw, honest and unforgettable", I had hopes for this, I thought it would be an interesting read. I felt so uncomfortable reading this, it made me feel like I was invading a dead man's personal space before he passed. I feel like the author told too much personal information about their father's passing from his bowel movements to his privates.

'Even when r*pe was the gospel preaching inside my body'

I didn't like that part ^

'the thing is, everytime I see a dick, I can't help but think of my dead dads dick and standing over my half-consious father, trying to scrub the blood off around the new catheter, and my gloved hands peeling back my father's ballsack, which was stuck to his leg and had created this horrible smelling rash,'

^ I thought this was too impersonal and I felt wrong reading it. Giving people information on losing and caring for a loved one is nice and could help people in dealing with it but this book just felt all kinds of wrong to me.

4,5
omg i almost cried

I loved this book. It is really great and emotional.
In the beginning, I did not like so much, because I wasn’t in the mood to talk about death and the author’s situation with their dad. But then…. I started to love.

In a lot of moments, I needed to stop reading, look at something and wait for the thoughts run through my mind and leave me, because some parts was so meaningful and emotional that I just needed some time to absorb.

These poems talks about the relation of the author and their dead dad (I have never thought about the similarities of these words, and was kind of a mind-breaking when I read), a relationship that was not the best when he was alive.

In short, great poems and writing.

Book Review for Dead Dad Jokes
Full review for this title will be posted at: @cattleboobooks on Instagram!

"and i tell him maybe, we'll see, as if there is any other way to be with my father except standing over the body of a dead thing, fingers digging for an exit wound."

Dead Dad Jokes really resonated with me. This collection of poetry details the complications of navigating a difficult relationship with a father as you struggle with your own issues of identity, growing up, healing, etc. I didn't realize that this collection would hit so close to my personal life, but multiple poems hit me right in the heart, making me pause to think about my own relationship with my father.

If you enjoy heavy, deepfelt poems, pick this up immediately.

This book is definitely not for the weak of heart or injury. The author is descriptive, dark, and honest about the death of their father, as referenced in the title. I personally didn't hate or love it, but I think it is definitely something that needs to be out there for other people to read as well.

4.5 stars

Some really f**king good poems about how family—in both life & death—hurts, sucks, & somehow simultaneously can be something really good. Also about grief & queerness. They’re really good, worth sitting with for a few hours.

[What I liked:]

•I liked every single poem. They are beautiful & authentic, capturing the ironies & tragedies of caring for a dying person you have really complicated feelings for. There is reverence but also laughter & fury. There is nothing fluffy or superfluous. I found meaning on every page. I feel seen as I’m in a very different yet very similar process of caregiving.

•I don’t want to call the writing raw, because the words are definitely crafted thoughtfully. Polished isn’t a good description neither, because these poems are too honest & real to be polite. But raw fits in the sense of a vital pulsing energy that’s running through the words & images & thoughts & memories. So many words that resonate & flash clear images in my head, but it’s not pretentious, it’s like having a conversation with someone & listening to them share what’s in them.

•The collection feels cohesive because all the poems are related to the titular theme, but the content isn’t repetitive. Different aspects are explored, including physical realities, emotional responses, memories that get stirred up, the illness, the moment of death, the process of grieving afterwards in public & private, etc.


[What I didn’t like as much:]

•I just wish there was more to read, I could’ve kept going. I’ll be checking out more of this poet’s work.

CW: mentions of substance abuse, mentions of transphobia & misgendering, terminal illness

[I received an ARC ebook copy from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review. Thank you for the book!]