Cover Image: Listen

Listen

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Member Reviews

As a past sister on an ICU I found much of interest in this book. It is well written, very easy to read and based around interesting scenarios. It is, however, difficult to see a wide audience for what is, in essence a text book. Junior members in health care settings will find much to help them within it's pages. My only criticism is that there is a tendency fo each of the conversations the author describes to never hit a hurdle and in my experience hurdles are part and parcel of practice. It describe best practice beautifully but might have looked a bit deeper at how even the most well intentioned conversations can break down.

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Although this book is called Listen it had a strong thread to coaching throughout.
In my quest to become better at listening I’ve gained lots of knowledge tips and hints to become better at listening through self development from this book.
I enjoyed the storytelling throughout the book to bring examples to life.
This is a book I will constantly refer back to and will recommend to friends and colleagues interested in the subject.
Very engaging throughout.

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I first heard of Kathryn Mannix when I attended a virtual event in the midst of Lockdown in July 2020 https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=557411048287609 . Her care for those at end of life was uplifting and deeply warming, so when I saw the ARC for Listen I jumped at the chance to review.
Although now some months after the publication date it is a timeless book about the power of stories and active listening. Over the past few months I have had to support colleagues, provide unwelcome news and generally muddle through life - Listen has helped me through all this. I recognise that my active listening needs work, but I am improving, my coversations are tender, I try to lead conversations in a way that suprise is minimised and I now have internalised that I can't fix someones situation, however I can be by their side.
Listen has quietly changed my life and how I interact with family, friends and colleagues.- it is a joy and I would recommend it highly, in fact I have ordered some for friends!
My thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for access to this ARC - it is fabulous.

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This book is invaluable in helping the reader tackle difficult/challenging conversations although Mannix prefers to call them "tender" conversations.

It's a book for everybody . Mannix sets out the skills and encourages us to try them for ourselves. There are case histories that show the skills in action from many different contexts. She even gives us ideas of helpful phrases that we might use , how to start a conversation (often a difficult thing to do), how to use silence and how to empower the person to find their own solutions not try to "fix" things for them. It's about coming alongside someone at a difficult time and them being "held" and heard. If you have ever been at the receiving end of this you will know how powerful and enabling it can be.

I like the dance metaphor that she uses which reinforces the skills she covers.

Mannix is never "preachy". She is quick to give examples of when it went "wrong" for her but what she learnt from those occasions. She touches on CBT in a light way and also covers topics such as self care, setting boundaries etc.

This is a very important book especially in these pandemic times when many people's mental health is fragile.
A professional might also benefit from a return to basics.

I have been trying out some of the techniques and notice the resulting difference. It's also equipped me with the tools to tackle some of those long postponed discussions.

VERY helpful in every sphere of life.- personal, school, work, friends and family.

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A book describing how to have difficult conversations, it demonstrates ways of listening to people when they are talking about emotional subjects. Some great tips on how to go about becoming a better and more empathetic listener.

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Such a brilliant book with really useful and accessible information to enable all of us to become more open and empathetic listeners, whether in our professional lives, or in our relationships. Told with stories that demonstrate these skills, it's not a dry and preachy read, but instead, a highly relatable and heartfelt read that I thoroughly enjoyed every word of.

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As someone who suffers from social anxiety, I am always keen to learn more about how to have better conversations. Mannix sets out some excellent rules how to on how to listen more effectively, build understanding and connections with people.

There are some beautifully written passages in the book and Mannix uses examples from her professional and personal life to demonstrate how to implement her approach.

However, sometimes the writing came across as twee. I also think that while the book acknowledges how messy and difficult human interactions can be it fails to tackle how difficult it will be practice to implement her approach. She makes it seem easy and for someone who often has difficulty understanding other people I don't think she gave sufficient advice on how one should get out of their own way.

There is some excellent stuff in here and anyone with a people-facing role, coaching or management role or indeed relationship problems will get a lot from reading it.

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This was an interesting, powerful and thought-provoking book about the importance of listening. It is the kind of book that everyone should read; most of us are guilty of interrupting or of not being properly present when someone is speaking. This book is a vital reminder to step up and create better conversations, for the good of everyone. Beautifully written from the heart; a truly wonderful book
With grateful thanks to Netgalley and William Collins for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

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This is such a useful, compassionate book, and with the authors empathy and understanding shining through on every page, it’s also wise and moving. Kathryn Mannix has worked for over thirty years in palliative care and has also practiced as a doctor, psychotherapist and trainer, so not only is she able to explain how to be a good listener, she is also able to demonstrate with examples those same skills in practice.

Including her own personal stories works so well, even showing us when she hasn’t used the skills herself, most notably on one occasion when she fails to tell a terminally ill woman she is dying. And it was hard not to be moved by the man determined to shave himself, a finally act of dignity before he died. I really liked the analogy of dancing and conversastion - there are lots of different components, and the speaker and the listener can fall into step together.

‘We limp to wisdom over the hot coals of our mistakes. Bind your feet now, and keep walking’

I consider myself a decent listener, most of the time, but after reading this book (and another title from last year called 'You're not listening' by Kate Murphy) I know that I have some way to go. But the good thing is that listening is something you can get better at and there are lots of examples here on how to do so. From using questions, remaining present, checking and repeating and using silence, and not forgetting the vital importance of self care for those who listen.

'Silence helps conversations to work. Give it space. Don't interrupt.'

One of the most interesting sections is when Kathryn Mannix talks about someone diving in to help whilst listening, very often a natural impulse. They are trying to make it better, but it is the opposite of listening - it is intended to reduce the distress, but in the end the only distress it reduces is their own. We all have people like this in our lives. I don't need advice unless I have asked for it - I would have sorted it already if it was that simple. And no - you don't know how I feel. This is my story, not yours, so I don't want to hear about that time when you…..

Please, I want to say. Just listen. Be present and be silent. 

‘Be compassionate for her situation but do not make the mistake of asking yourself how the situation would affect you if she were your sister, your friend, yourself. Your own sorrows will come in good time; don't be in a hurry for them.’

Kathryn Mannix writes beautifully about loneliness too, something I have encountered over the past number of months, and I'm not the only one as it is an epidemic in society, especially since covid and the accompanying lockdowns. People in general are reducing their social contacts, but as social animals, we are hard wired to connect to one another.

‘Loneliness is not a choice. It is a sentence imposed by circumstances that sever our connections….

Loneliness is not about a lack of company but a lack of connection. Surrounded by people but with no one to hear us it can be a place lonelier than isolation.’

I particularly liked her ideas at the end of the book, for listening skills such as those discussed to be taught in schools. You can't help but feel the world would be in a much better place but maybe we can help the next generation. This is a vital book, full of compassion and great advice on how to listen better.

'In the end, human wellbeing is rooted in community and nurrtured by being listened to and understood."

Thanks to Netgalley and William Collins for the ARC

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This book is utterly brilliant on some many levels.
To be given guidance and ideas around such challenging aspects of communication from both the author and some of the contributors she quotes/involves who clearly have amazing experience and skills in end of life care, communication, conflict resolution and more.
I read this book from start to finish and then I have revisited several parts of it on a number of occasions since finishing and even applied some of the suggestions and techniques covered in it in my own life and work.
There are some incredible relatable examples interspersed throughout the book which really help bring it to life and make it accessible for anybody, even if you haven't had to face any similar situations in your lifetime so far.
I would strongly recommend this book to everybody

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Very well written and comprehensive. I liked the tone – it was informative without being patronising.

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"Listen" by Kathryn Mannix is a great book that teaches non-counsellors how to listen more empathically. Life-inspired case studies help readers understand different approaches to therapeutic listening in various situations. Chapters also include helpful summaries on how to approach certain topics or difficult emotions.

This book may be very helpful to people who want to learn how to accompany others in difficult circumstances without minimising their experiences but also taking care of oneself.

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This was an emotionally moving book about how to go about having difficult conversations - or as they are rebranded in this book, tender conversations. It demonstrates ways of listening effectively and compassionately to people when they are talking about emotionally complex subjects. I found the case studies worked well alongside the descriptions of how to go about becoming a better and more empathetic listener.

With thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in return for an honest review.

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Alongside some really great tips on how to actively listen and converse in difficult conversations, were some great anecdotal touching stories which showed the good vs bad versions of listening - it will be useful in my work

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This I took my time with and really absorbed the writing. I really got a lot from it and definitely would recommend a lot of people read this and pass it on as it could very well make relationships of all kind a lot more healthy. Read the book, its imperative!

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I couldn't access this book on my app which was disappointing. I didnt check the formats available so was my mistake.

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This isn’t always the easiest read as it deals with some very difficult subjects but it’s so wise and compassionate - I learnt a lot and I really hope I can put it into practice. Such an important book and highly recommended, thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

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It doesn't matter how good a listener you are, whether psychologist, GP, lawyer, anyone can benefit from this book. I hope millions get the chance and become a better listener. (I defy anyone not to at least well-up, if not cry at the chapter on the Nurse.). six stars if I could. Do please read.

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This is a book about how to have tender conversations with those around us. I am not sure who the intended audience is for this book, but I didn't think I was the right person for it. Most of the examples in the book are from a clinical setting, or conversations where there's no previous relationship between the people involved. As a first-time tutor this academic year, I think I might take some of this with me, but when I requested the book I was hoping to get more about how to have these conversations with people who are close to us.
I am a bit disappointed by the lack of information that I got in this case. I just think the book was written for a different audience. I am sure that a lot of people will benefit from it, and I agree with the author about how many times we're on the phone talking to someone who's just following a script (my most recent experience with this was a mortgage advisor who, after I said I had paused the house hunting because my partner was ill, replied something along the lines of "make sure to let us know when you restart the search", without acknolwedging the information I had just given him).

Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a free eARC of this book in exchange for an honest opinion.

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My attention was drawn to this book to help with a difficult conversation I needed to have. I can’t tell you how much this book helped. I thought the advice was so practical and I’m already putting it into practice. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review. I will be recommending it to my book group and friends.

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