Cover Image: The Thriving Giver

The Thriving Giver

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Member Reviews

This text was written for those whose careers, professions and vocations are charged by ‘passion, commitment or enthusiasm.’ The book was written in the light of the pandemic, and the danger of those what happens when the natural energies that drive such work are unbalanced, what happens when the giver ‘over-gives.’

The book is essentially practical - ‘how to give from a place of replenishment’ - focusing on giving the reader a toolkit to manage the practical, mental, emotional, and spiritual stresses that such work involves.

It is a relentlessly encouraging book - asserting against the temptation of burn-out and endless to-do lists that it is possible to ‘optimise self-care and develop assertiveness.’ The author is clear that the failure to do these things can, in some cases, lead not only to burnout but to serious illness, fatigue, exhaustion and professional collapse. ‘Giving can be sustainable….self-care is not selfish.’

The vast majority of the book are clear examples, strategies and techniques. These are broad enough to cover many roles and situations, and whilst many of them will not be new, it is helpful to have them clearly set down.
The author also explores why some readers may exhibit specific patterns of behaviour. Common examples are given of those in stressful situations, how they identified their behaviour, its causes, and how they managed to overcome and to manage the various stresses that came from their vocations and professions.

The author focuses on seven principles - supportive beliefs and behaviours, self-understanding, transforming thoughts and emotions, calming anxiety, assertiveness, replenishing energy, and nourishing the spirit.

Each of these principles is covered in a chapter, with detailed examples and several sub-points to explore.
Throughout the book, many themes are covered, and several practices are commended. Whilst this book can be read quickly, it is a book of attitudes and techniques to begin, and the real work of the book is that which the reader will do over weeks and months.

The author especially commends a proper self-understanding of the past. This will allow the appropriate building of a mental and emotional foundation, which will lead to an increasing self-awareness in the present.
One topic explored in great depth is why we might find it difficult to say no and where these feelings may come from. Finally, the author asks us to consider observing the patterns which shape our reaction to stress and other behaviours.

A practice commended is verbal and mental affirmations and supportive inner talk. Another is the practice of expressive writing, where thoughts and emotions are allowed to flow. This will hopefully lead to an increase in gratitude and appreciation. The importance of breathing exercises is also considered, as is visualisation and walking.

I can’t imagine that every reader will be able to take up every practice, and perhaps there might be some frustration and reading about procedures with which you are already well versed. Still, the book covers a broad base, and I imagine that most people will find something in it to commend itself.

My only slight criticism was that the glimpses of the author and her own struggles I found slightly distracting from the text, and I perhaps preferred a more neutral position. However, the book is full of examples of those in caring professions who have actively changed their lives for the better.

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An excellent resource for those who find themselves in a caregiver role whether it is a part of their employment or a personal situation. In order to provide care for another one must take care of themselves which is something so many people forget. Burnout and moral distress are very real and can have dramatic and traumatic impact on caregivers, learning how to avoid and treat these problems is critical. I think this book would be a good book for all entering the healthcare field.

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Amazing stress management tips. Easy to follow steps to help reduce stress. I liked the fact it was targeted to Healthcare workers, but at the same time anyone could use it for help. A fantastic book I will be telling everyone about. Would love a physical copy to carry around with me for those stressful moments.

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This may be the most practical, helpful, and organized book about self-care I have come across recently. Kuipers starts with identifying your beliefs and behaviors, teaches you why burnout prevention is important, and then guides you through different resources to build your self-care toolbox. She also encourages readers to keep a journal of their thoughts and progress, and every section includes prompts to deepen your growth with the section. I will be honest and say that I did not keep a journal, because therapist are sometimes the worst patients, and I still took away important reminders about burnout and tools that I want to incorporate. Despite the fact that I talk with my clients every session about taking care of themselves, it is easy to forget that I am a person in need of care also. This book reminded me that I can only work at my best when I take care of myself, and I think we could all use that reminder. If you are looking for specific tools to create your own self-care routine, this is a book for you!

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