Some of our past behaviours at work may not go down as our finest moments. We over-react to criticism, and can doubt our own competence. Naomi Shragai, author of newly published ‘The Man Who Mistook his Job for his Life’ is a psychotherapist who specialises in work-related problems.

She has increasingly seen clients bring their work-related matters to the couch. Unbeknownst to them, they are often bringing unresolved personal issues to their work role. As we increasingly spent more hours ‘in work’, addressing and understanding both our own behaviour and that of others whom we work with is covered in her book. With chapters on Imposter Syndrome (not a fear of failure but a fear of success), Personality Clashes, Control Freaks and every other personality type we meet in our work roles, there is something here for everyone to read.

Tipping her ‘hat’ in her choice of title to the neurologist Oliver Sacks’ classic book ‘The Man Who Mistook His Wife For a Hat’, Naomi Shragai shares intimate client stories to show us how to unpick out workplace persona and to remind us that work won’t love us back, no matter how much time we put into it.

A useful book for anyone who is hampered by previous traumas and developing into a harried perfectionist, suffering from impostor syndrome or worried they're going to burn out as an overachiever, using examples and backed up by other writers and psychologists. There is a narrative that everyone wants to be achieving their full potential in their careers, which not everyone actually wants to do - but then the people who do are the people who will seek this advice, if that makes sense. It's also most useful for those in a corporate structure, I think, but well-reasoned and sensible and a good resource.

This was a fascinating read abut how work can take over your life if you allow it to.

The book, though examples and scenarios, explores how to overcome this, I found this really useful to apply in my own life.

An excellent, informative and very interesting read.

When you go to work it can often feel like being part of a family. After all, teams supposedly foster this and your colleagues can soon come to resemble your actual family, warts and all.
In this book, the author examines the sometimes thorny world of office relationships and they can mesh, often without people even realising it, with others from the past. Family dynamics can come back to haunt you in later life.
There are several areas discussed which include defensiveness, imposter syndrome, people pleasing, fear of rejection, overachievement, personality clashes (who hasn’t had one of those), paranoia, fear of conflict and narcissism.
The author is a psychotherapist who uses real case histories from people undergoing counselling to illustrate how previous behaviours and experiences can be brought into the workplace unwittingly as the worker tries, often unknowingly, to replicate them. However, I would have liked more detail on how the people quoted dealt with it. I felt that the book really rattled along as it covered so many topics and perhaps if there had been less, they could have been covered in more detail. Also, if your manager or co-worker reminds you of say, an overbearing parent, what do you do? Leave, transfer to another department or live with it? It is written from the experiences of people who have acknowledged their problems and are seeking to change but what about the rest?
However, there were a lot of good insights in the book especially with imposter syndrome and overachievers. It was an interesting read but I felt that more detail and practical solutions would have improved it greatly.

My thanks to Ebury and penguin Random House and Netgalley for an ARC.

This was an interesting read, which looks at how we deal with things in the workplace is affected and formed through our childhood experiences. Naomi Shragai is a psychotherapist and uses (with consent) real life examples to illustrate and explain such things as why some want to people please, avoid difficult conversations or have imposter syndrome

I think this book is good at raising awareness about the causes of our own behaviour and that of others. However, it isn't big on solutions. In part this is because it would be difficult to undo a lifetime of conditioning through some simple steps - although some books try to do this, of course.

I did find the book slightly grating in a couple of places, such as when she described the mansion apartments her psychotherapy clients walk past to get to a session, which felt to me that she was trying to sell a picture of her privileged life, and when she referred to "political correctness" to dismiss a certain way of thinking. But, overall, the book was good and will help us to understand ourselves and others better, so that we can be better managers, colleagues and employees.

This has been an interesting read as we enter back into the offices post pandemic.

I have found this helpful in my own personal journey in becoming a lot more confident after maternity leave.

Thanks for letting me read an ARC

Interesting non fiction book about day to relationships in the work place. Covers areas such as defensiveness, imposter syndrome, people pleasing, fear of rejection, overachievement, personality clashes, paranoia, fear of conflict and narcissism.
It is based on the idea that how we act in workplace is based on childhood experiences which I felt seemed a little obvious. All relations either work or personal are based on our relationships from childhood. What else would we have to base on experiences on?
Written mostly from the experiences of others attending counselling, it offers an interesting and sometimes reassuring insight.
Managers in particular May find this useful.

An insightful look at how our personal life affects our professional life. Eighteen years with our family shapes our personality but we spend up to fifty years in our jobs. I loved the factual accounts. An opportunity to reflect and look at what is holding you back.

I thought this book would be a really interesting road. Nowadays work does take over your life - something that I've known only too well running our own business. In this book the author gives examples of how things that have happened to you in life can have negative impacts on your work life. A lot of it in this book stems from things that have happened in childhood. What i did like about this book was that it gave tips and ideas of how to deal with these issues and make them better. There was also a lot of real life examples in this book which illustrated the points really well.

Business psychotherapist Naomi Shragai in "The Man who Mistook his job for his life' reminds us the importance of not confusing our professional present with our personal past. The book comes at a time when the fast nature of work demands even more of our psychological strength. We all need emotional maturity to navigate the insecurities and setbacks that inevitably arise. Holding a microscope to issues that cause us problems, pain and anxiety such as imposter syndrome, fear of conflict, professionalism and anxiety we are better equipped to transform how we think about ourselves and our working life. We unconsciously re-enact our personal past in our professional present even when it holds us back. We replay and re-enact conflicts, dynamics and relationships from our past. We can confuse an authority figure with a parent, we can avoid conflict because of the pain squabbles with siblings or suffer with imposter syndrome because of the way our family responds to success. When it comes to work we can be trapped in our own upbringings and the patterns of behaviour we learned while growing up. Tolerating strong and uncomfortable feelings, having the insight to distinguish past from present and the courage and imagination to adapt our response to new circumstances leaves us better equipped to succeed in our career. This is a riveting book with great insights, practical tips, great questions, memorable, interesting and moving human stories. Naomi invites us to explore paranoia, envy, seeds of irrational conflict, dealing with bullies, tyrants, control freaks, narcissists and knowing when to run. The inbuilt tension is made explicit “there is an intolerance for feelings, a belief we should keep them to ourselves and be professional. Work wants our ‘good’ feelings but doesn't allow for our emotional nourishment”. She tenderly encourages us to change our narrative by being curious, honest and objective. Self examination can identify the source of our wrong thinking. Our past should not colour our reading of current events. Perspectives are vital. We can get better at tuning into our emotions, expressing, addressing and understanding them . We are indeed gifted with tips to thrive at work, integrating the different parts of ourselves and leaving our emotional baggage, replacing these with habits and mindsets that will better serve us. While stressing the need for personal awareness and insight, it must be translated into change and action leaving us with a future that creates a life that is uniquely ours.

An insightful read showing the reader how our history and views play out within work situations and details how to recognise and address this. An abundance of credible stories bring these scenarios to life and aid the reader to look at their own behaviour in context. A great read for anyone who wants to understand themselves more in a professional context and especially good for those who know their work / life balance is out of kilter.

If you are looking to find out more about how our personal life and history effects our work life and how we can perhaps overcome this, this book is for you There are plenty of stories and examples to aid understanding. If you want to read further, the psychology of our home and work life then this book is for you.

A fascinating book about how we unwittingly play out personal scenarios in our work life as well as how to overcome this. The writing was clear and the author's advice was brought to life vividly through stories and examples. This is a must-read for anyone wanting to understand how our psychology impacts our behaviour at work.