Cover Image: You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother

You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother

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A quick read. Super interesting and comforting to know that other people have experienced mothers like this!

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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me a free advanced copy of this book to read and review.

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This book I think could help with women who are struggling with their their mother, their relationship and connection. I think this book is really useful for people who are looking for answers, I found it very interesting , it held my attention and I would recommend this book to friends.

Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy in return for an honest opinion

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This was a very helpful and relatable book for me. All the points about how to determine NPD were laid out very well and the examples given left no doubt as to the signs to look for.
I didn’t completely understand the tapping technique, which was a little frustrating as the author kept referring to it throughout the book. But the material did help me recognize what decisions I would need to make to deal with this situation moving forward.

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If you have a difficult relationship with your parent I can see that this book may help you to feel less alone, and that you aren’t ‘crazy’. It also gives various options for approaching your relationship, ending your relationship and coping with your feelings (through a practice called tapping). However, unless you are a psychiatrist who has had several meetings and assessments with a person, you cannot diagnose someone else with a mental health condition. The author is not a psychiatrist and has never met your mother.

The book gives an outline of the author’s relationship & subsequent termination of the relationship with her mother. Ultimately, though this book could be a comfort to those who are struggling or who have struggled with their mother, it mainly advocates ending your relationship.

Boundaries are healthy, and a lot of us need to set them with various people in our lives, however ending your relationship with a parent is something that should only be done after an extensive, personal examination preferably with an impartial therapist to help you over a significant period of time. It is not a decision to make without exploring all possible intervention, self improvement, discussion and support. Things are not so finite as the author suggests, while it may feel empowering to take such final action, irreparable damage can be done to yourself as well as others.

If this was labelled as a memoir only I would have rated it higher, but as it takes on a mantle of authority I think the message is mixed.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for my free copy of this book in return for and unbiased review.

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This book was very interesting and fast-paced, the author held my attention and the plot was very appealing. I would recommend this book to friends.

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I read the first version of this book years ago, when I was asking myself the main question it aims to answer: "Am I crazy, or is what my mother's doing truly not okay?". I didn't have a copy of the first version at home to compare, but reading this one once again shed light on my own situation, and was very entertaining. This is THE book to have if you or one of your loved ones suspect that you have a mother suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. I will definitely be purchasing a paper copy for my own bookshelves.

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I read the first edition of Ms. Morrigan’s book several years ago when I was diagnosed with PTSD due in large part to having been raised by a sadistic mother who before her death had been independently diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder by a psychiatrist who personally examined her. At the time I first read it, the book was a godsend for me and I’ve re-read it many times since. I recently read the new edition and found the updated and additional information to have added even more significantly to my understanding of mothers with NPD and their effect on their daughters.

Unfortunately, since the subject narcissistic mothers began receiving media attention a few years ago, there’s been a great deal of backlash against the idea of the very existence of narcissistic mothers and villainization of the adult daughters who were raised by them and dare to speak out about the house of horrors in which we were raised.

For that reason, books like Ms. Morrigan’s have become all the more essential for women who grew up in homes with mothers like mine where we were emotionally tortured, scapegoated, and reminded every day of our childhood and adolescent years of our worthlessness, failure to measure up to our mother’s designated Golden Child, and how much of an embarrassment and burden we were to our mothers, the self-described martyrs.

There are many books available for women who were raised by narcissistic mothers but not all of them are helpful for adult daughters of narcissists. I have read many books on the subject and the two I found by far to be the most helpful were this one and Dr. Karyl McBride’s “Will I Ever Be Good Enough: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers.” Both offer not only a wealth of educational information but equally, if not more, importantly, plenty of much-needed affirmation and support to help heal the scars left by our narcissistic mothers. Whether you are discovering Ms. Morrigan’s book for the first time or previously read the first edition, I highly recommend reading this new edition.

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This book was really fun and calming to read for me. I think because it's full of all the things I thought about my mother and our relationship but couldn't explain. I read it after two years of therapy and I doubt I would have enjoyed it if I read it during the dark years. But really good, I liked the pacing and the humor. I don't know if it was supposed to be funny, but I read it like a stand-up comedy.

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I was gifted a copy of this book and am leaving a review of this book voluntarily.

You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother describes the traits of a narcissistic mother and how to identify these traits. This book can help with those who are struggling with their connection to their mother and are unsure why. I think this book is critical for people who are searching for answers. I think it is a great baseline for healing and allowing people to start their journey discovering how their mothers have effected them.

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I think this book is a sympatric and encouraging voice of hope for daughters of narcissistic mothers" and eye opener for those who love and support those daughters.

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A look at possible ways to cope with a toxic mother-daughter relationship governed by Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Useful hints that hopefully helps one to manage the awful situation, when the realization hits that your battling the slippery slope of narcissism. Enough to do your head in, in Oh So many ways. Written by a “fellow traveller.” Morrigan makes very clear that she’s not a qualified worker, rather she’s one who’s lived with such a horrendous relationship.
I found Morrigan’s definitions useful, but then up front I can say I’ve never read anything else. What was even more food for thought was the idea that, “ Even if my mother did not have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, it is an ideal model to explain her nasty and selfish behaviour.” I found that idea helpful. That these ideas might be of use where the situation hovers close to narcissistic, but is cannot necessarily defined by that label.
“Narcissistic Personality Disorder [might] perfectly explain everything about [one’s] family dynamics.”
That’s an encouraging thought for those struggling with these things.
There are parts further on that I find I’m not in agreement with. Upon a deeper look it seems than Danu Morrigan is the author’s pen name. There are some opinions online about the validity of her work that makes one stop and reflect. With that in mind I found the first part of this book, the descriptive explanations about Narcissism interesting, but as to Tapping, that was far too complex for me and I’m not sure if the black and white advice she gives fits into a world that has lots of shade. I know that if I’d been unlucky enough to be in this position I would prefer an accredited therapist’s help, not a book or a blog.

A Darton Longman Todd ARC via NetGalley
Please note: Quotes taken from an advanced reading copy maybe subject to change

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All you can do as a child of a narcissist is do your best to make sense of the messy and toxic situation, and this book is designed to help you with that. You are not broken in need of fixing. You are wounded in need of healing.

Narcissists know what they’re doing; they just don’t care and absolutely don’t care about how we feel. They don’t consider us real people, or if they do, it doesn’t matter.

Our narcissistic mother convinced us: if we tried hard enough we could win her approval and her love. If we were good enough, or wise enough, or beautiful enough, or ...or... or... It's never enough!
The reality of having a narcissistic mother is that she can’t love you, not because you’re unlovable, but because she is incapable of love. It is a flaw in her, not in you.

This books is so valuable because Dani Morrigan experienced and lived with narcissistic mother and finally someone really understands what you went through. The knowledge about Narcissistic Personality Disorder explains so very much about your life and your relationship with your mother. It explains everything. You’re not crazy! You were right to think things were odd. Your perceptions are right. You are not the flawed person she told you that you were.

Insightful, useful and must-read for all daughters/children of narcissistic parents.

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Such a valid and necessary book. After listening to this topic on YT, from many different people, this book explained it best. I believe because the author lived it. She has also listened to others and heard their stories. To understand you have to have lived it. Others may empathize, but truly understand..I don’t think it’s possible. The damage these mothers do is life long. It never goes away. Only the strong survive it. I could not put this book down. I finished 70% in one sitting. I felt seen and heard, finally. I will reread this book, I’m sure, over and over. It’s probably the most highlighted and noted kindle book I’ve ever read. I skimmed over the tapping method. It probably works, but I will have to revisit that part. I highly recommend!

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This helpful book is packed with information and experience-driven stories to assist the reader in coming to terms with narcissism and understanding how to cope.

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If this is your situation, the descriptions in this book will be spot on! You may feel a sense of relief to understand better. But you may also feel a sense of loss and or sadness. Depending on where you are in your processing. There are descriptions of various situations you may have experienced. And there are tools to help throughout the book.

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I give this book five stars because it is written from the heart. The author has done a lot of work collecting stories of women with difficult relationships with their mothers. The concept of "mother" is almost universal where she is supposed to be affectionate, loving, caring and sacrificing. But what if you had a narcissistic mother? What are your chances of getting anything from all the positive traits that the "ideal mother" represents? Danu Morrigan unflinchingly describes events that many of us with difficult mother relationships will identify. This book doesn't bash mothers. It reflects the deep gap and trauma women have when they are dealt with a difficult relationship. She offers us hope in that we can examine the events that are painful and we can grow out of them a sense of our individuality. This book is an easy and good read.

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This is a newly released edition of the book and there's a reason the book withstands time...because it is so strong, so powerful and so insightful. I'd highly recommend it to anyone who works with families as well as to anyone who has a difficult relationship with their mother.

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Family estrangement is endemic today, and works such as this help explain that sad state of affairs. The author, Danu Morrigan, admittedly has no psychiatric training, unless one chooses to count having read a couple of definitions in the DSM. The book is poorly written--repetitive and with no exclamation mark left unused!

Morrigan insists virtually everything one doesn't feel is perfect in one's life is the fault of the mother. If father was absent due to long hours, divorce, or even death and one's mother struggled to cope, she should have done better. If one's father is present, they are an enabler and both parents deserve to be cut off with no explanation. It's OK to lie to your mother because she's a horrible, self-centered person who never loved you. If you choose to go to therapy and the therapist perhaps advocates family therapy, find another therapist immediately! One who agrees with the idea of complete estrangement!

The author was estranged from her mother until her mother's death, One must speculate as to whether Danu Morrigan is still so angry at her dead mother she must continue to denigrate the woman years later or if she felt this drivel was a way to make a quick buck.

Not recommended for anyone.
Dr. Cheryl Youse

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This is a lifestyle/ self-help book where the author draws on their life experiences as well as decades worth of interactions with people in a similar situation to herself.
She is an active participant in groups that support daughters of narcissists and her passion and earnestness about helping people show through her words.
This is not necessarily meant to be an expert guide or take on that professional help status but strikes me as a book to build solidarity and awareness of the suffering of victims in a relatable way where you are being spoken to by a friend rather than a professional.
This is a hard read, particularly for people who are still being subjected to narcissistic control on a daily basis so it's something to read when you feel fully ready to learn more about the condition.

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