Here’s the summary from the publisher, because I couldn’t do craft a better description:

Janesse Crawford spends her teenage and young adult years trying to balance her tomboy, girl-loving side with being the picture-perfect daughter her mother wants. It’s difficult, and Janesse is full of self-doubt, but she manages to find a way to make it work. Then Janesse meets sexy, confident Maya Lawson, who is everything she didn’t realize she wanted, and her world is turned upside down. But Janesse makes a choice and doesn’t look back.

Thirty years later, Janesse is married to a man who loves her, has raised two wonderful children, and has a successful career doing what she loves. But when a chance meeting with Maya brings her past rushing back, the lie Janesse has been living comes crashing in on her. She let Maya get away once, but her second chance at true love could cost her the picture-perfect world she’s spent a lifetime building. It’s not too late for Janesse to blossom into the woman she’s always wished to be. But on her path to self-acceptance, she will risk everything—and possibly everyone—she loves.

This one was okay. I definitely appreciated the deviation from standard, white girl love. The representation was great. I loved the characterization and the very real problems that Janesse faces when confronting her past and who she really is. It did move a tad slow for me, though, and overall wasn’t the most memorable book.

It is out now if you need something different in your sapphic reading, though.

Indiana 1980: A teenaged Janeese faces her parents divorce, her mothers subsequent breakdown and a move to New Jersey with her mother and siblings. Her next door neighbor Nikki lives with her two mothers and becomes Janeese’s best friend. We witness Janeese heading toward womanhood and experience attractions to male and female.
Janeese marries a wonderful man, has two children, a beautiful home and a very successful career. However, fate will intervene when Maya Lawson renters her world. This popular fashionista is the woman that ‘got away’ and the memories of that love and time spent together disrupt her perfect world.
Is this Janeese’s second chance at finding her true love? Will she finally accept that this may be the path to self-acceptance and the chance to live that dream?
Anne Shade presents this story as both a coming of age & a romance. It is about meeting expectations, learning the value in honesty and being comfortable with the feelings of the heart and living as one’s true self.
Thank you NetGalley, Bold Stroke Books and the author for an ARC in exchange for a book review.

The main characters are Janesse and Maya. Janesse doesn't realize she likes girls until she meets Maya, who makes it very clear she is interested in Maya. This is a problem because Janesse's mom is very homophobic and is very vocal about it.
This is about as far in the book as I was able to read. The homophobia bothered me more than anything else. Also, I was not very vested in the characters.
I really wanted to like this book and finish it. However, that is not what happened.

Please don’t read the official blurb, it gives away way too much.

When we meet Janesse in 1980, she’s fourteen, moving with her mom and siblings from Indiana to New Jersey after her parents’ divorce and her mom’s subsequent breakdown. Over the years, we get to witness her first kiss, her first love, her first time with a woman, her first broken heart… while she tries to find her place in life despite her mother’s homophobia, despite her own struggle to understand her sexuality. Janesse has a hard time coming to terms with her attraction to both men and women, and the people she meets as she grows up and after that, as an adult, both friends and lovers, play a huge part in her getting over her hang-ups.

This book is sold as romance but to me, it’s more of a coming of age novel. The romance is a big part of the story, yet it’s first and foremost a story of growth, both literally and emotionally. Anne Shade does a great job of describing the complexities of life on various levels, from sexuality not being straightforward to a parent breaking up the family while not necessarily being the bad guy.

Janesse is an interesting character, who tries to do the right thing and keeps making mistakes, in a very human way. The secondary cast Shade writes around her brings a lot to the story, from Janesse’s sister and brother and the rest of the family to the woman who takes her under her wing, mentoring her both sexually and professionally, to her best friends Nikki and Justin, a girl who looks like a boy and a boy no one can resist, to Nikki’s moms, to her roommates at Spelman College, where she thrives, surrounded by other driven Black women, to the love of her life. Even the smallest character has a real personality, each adding substance to Janesse’s life and to the story.

I enjoyed the story a lot for about two-thirds of the book, then I struggled to stay in for a while. Janesse’s interrogations felt repetitive and I didn’t always feel the character growth. It got better again, however. And this may say more about me than about the book, but I didn’t feel the chemistry between Janesse and Justin the way I did with the women in her life.

As this book follows Janesse from her teens to her fifties, there is more than one romance on the way, though only one is true romantic love. I really liked not knowing where the story would take me and who Janesse would end up with (don’t read the blurb!), and I wouldn’t like to spoil it for you by saying too much. Grab this book and find out for yourself.

I received a copy from the publisher and I am voluntarily leaving a review.

Sometime when I read, I discover a beautiful love story. Sometime when I read, I discover something interesting and educational. After reading this story, I am pleased to say that I found both. From a black women's point of view, this read is full of family, friends, challenges, and plenty of self-reflection. The friend group, Janesse Crawford, Nikki Carter, and Justin provide an interesting dynamic. I can understand what folks are saying about the story blurb and the limited connection to the the actual story.

I appreciated the read as the author did a deep dive into sexual identity, supportive and understanding family and friends and unsupportive, lack of understanding family and friends. The tough relationship between janesse and her mother was heartbreaking and unsettling to read. janesse's sister, brother and uncle were such supportive characters. I wanted to embrace them for their love and support of Janesse. As were Nikki's parents. This story was long and a bit repetitive but I very much appreciated the message. FAMILY can lift you up or bring you down. Ultimately, how your life unfolds in most cases, is up to you.

(Heads up, most of this review will have spoilers.)
This was very difficult to rate, but I'm going to settle on three and a half stars. Four stars for writing, four for plot, one for the fact that the book doesn't match the description at all!! I cannot stress how much this seems like a problem to me. It happened that I enjoyed the story that I got in the end, but I went into it with completely different expectations. It doesn't sit right with me that the description alludes to literally only the last two chapters of the book, and not even particularly well. It never seems like Janesse is living her dream, Maya doesn't really fit the implications of "the one that got away," and of course, Janesse's path to self acceptance doesn't start at age 52. So yes, I feel deceived. If the book description had been more accurate, I honestly might not have picked it up, because I wasn't in the mood for a new adult genre coming out story.
There was a lot of promise here, but the execution wasn’t as great as it might have been. Considering that it spans several years, even not including the thirty-year time skip, the book still feels like it drags on. It is longer than average, and Maya isn’t introduced until 26% of the way in. I think skipping the Nikki plotline in the beginning would have helped, especially since it seems less and less relevant as we get deeper into the story.
Overall, I am glad I picked this up, but I don’t know if I would do it again. So I guess, three stars.

This story was so beautiful, I was sorry to have it end. The amount of detail and dedication to the characters life was amazing. I can't wait to read more from this amazing author.

This story is a second chance romance and about sexual identity and Janesse journey over a span 30 years. The book is well written and the characters have great chemistry. I loved the support Ness received from her uncle, sister and best friend Nikki and both her moms. I recommend this book 5 stars


I received a copy of this book from the publisher Bold Stokes Books via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

This was a story about sexual identity, regret, and fear. Janessa has moved with her family to New Jersey after her mother's divorce. She meets Nikki and they become best friends. However Nikki has two moms and is also gay which angers Janessa's mom. Janessa is not sure of her sexual identity because she likes boys and girls. She is afraid of what her mom might think and is to fearful of coming out. The plot of the story is good and the characters are well written. Janessa, Nikki and Justin become a group of friends and are close.

The story takes place over a thirty year span where Janessa marries Justin after an unexpected pregnancy and gives up some of her happiness. She is to fretful to go after what she really loves which is her past lover Maya. Janessa is succesful in her career but not win relationships. I recommend this book for lesbian fiction readers and those interested in the problems of coming out when you are afraid. .

Things don't always turn out as we hope they might and that is especially true for Janesse. She is married to a man and by all appearances is happy but what did she give up years ago that she has truly wanted.
That possibility has now come back into her life and the longing and desire are still there.
What will she do this time around? Continue being the good wife or take a chance into what she has often dreamt about?

This was the first Anne Shade book that I have read and found the story interesting and well written.

This is an own voice, black woman, coming of age and life story. The book starts in 1980 after Janesse parents divorce and she with her mom, brother and sister move to Montclair, NJ. Next door is her soon to be life long best friend Nikki who lives with her two moms. Janesse is trying to navigate her own sexuality. She doesn't have a label and her attraction to both girls and boys confuses her. Maya is the exception. There is no one like Maya who makes Janesse feel complete. But Maya is out and proud and Janesse still isn't sure of herself.

The book takes time to develop its characters. I love the supportive uncle, siblings and friends. The mom is broken but is realistic. At times the arguments and the discussions in the book feel repetitive. The book is long and well worth reading but I was frustrated by the blurb as it set my expectations for the book. At the fifty percent point Jenesse is getting ready to start college. That is vastly different than the current blurb which actually covers the last two chapters of the novel. I did love where the novel ends up but it takes its time getting there. Thank you to NetGalley and Bold Strokes Books for an ARC ebook in exchange for an honest review.

I received an ARC copy of this book from the Publisher via Netgalley and voluntarily leaving my review.


Janessa has a great life but she always felt that she wasn’t living her true self especially when the woman she loves Maya comes back into her life. Ness has a choice to accept who she really is or continue to lie to herself but if she decides to live her truth will her family accept her or turn their back on her.

This was a good read. I love the relationship Ness has with her siblings and friendship she has with Nikki.