#mymothermunchausensandme by #helennaylor published by @threadbooks was a recent read of mine via @Netgalley audio. This was a memoir by Helen about living with a mother with #munchausensyndrome. Usually when you hear of this its the by proxy type -
mothers who hurt or sicken their children for attention, and Helen's mother seemed to have a touch of that as well, but mainly, she lived her life convinced and convincing others that she had an extreme and hard to prove or disprove diagnosis of something like fibromyalgia. She would stay in bed for hours and hours often neglecting Helen and letting her fend for herself, yet could flip right out of her sickness if she wanted to do something. For more than a decade noone understood or questioned Helen not even her husband who legit had a heart problem. This story got under my skin i dont know how Helen dealt with it especially as an adult when miraculously her mothers prior condition all but disappeared due to her self diagnosed parkinsons, which was proven later to not be true. There are some hard realities of healthcare in here - how its often so difficult to get someone mental health care when they are in denial or have mental instabilities. Her mother basically wasted her life creating illnesses tor herself that just werent there. This book made me very paranoid about expressing my own aches and pains and worries to my child - do I do it for attention? Damn its scary to read when you see a tinge of it in yourself or your family. My mother from her late 50s on was what I interpreted at sickly. She had diabetes and as it turns out had a series of mini-strokes that by her late 70s left her with vascular dementia, so by no means was she NOT ill, but when she was younger, I do recall her sleeping alot during the day and saying she felt sick alot. Some of that i think was for attention, i dunno, maybe it was partly depression? But either way, how one perceives their health can be more damaging than actual disease. This comes out the 25th, it was riveting, give it a listen or read!! Thank you @threadbooks !!

This memoir of the daughter of a woman with a personality disorder was an interesting listen. I was provided access to the audiobook by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. The dichotomy between wanting to be a good daughter versus wanting to protect oneself from abuse is often hard for those with healthy family relationships to comprehend. Ending chapters with mom’s diary entries to show her perspective helps to illuminate that difference. The majority of the memoir focuses on the author’s adult experience and dealing with her mom’s death. I do wish there was a bit more detail about her childhood and teen years, but it makes sense that those memories are less clear and perhaps not accurate given mom’s gaslighting.

A beautifully tragic story of a loving daughter discovering her own childhood neglect from a narcissistic mother who couldn’t fathom the idea of the attention not being on her.

I’m sure we’ve all stumbled across a hypochondriac in our lifetimes, but what would you do if that fear of illness was manipulated into an actual diagnosis. At what point do you stop believing the lie?

My heart broke for Helen. Her story articulates her love for her mother and her desire to do what’s best for her , to the point of her own demise. How do you look your mother in the eye and tell her you don’t believe she’s sick? The mental torment this situation would have on anyone is obvious, so it was nice to hear the tales directly from the daughter in question (with added diary pages showing the complete delusion of the mother).

An interesting listen to say the least, I must have uttered “you have got to be kidding me” at least a dozen times while listening to the audiobook.

If you’re into works of non-fiction and want a different take on a biography, I would highly suggest this !

A big thank you to Thread Publishing (via NetGalley) for the advanced audiobook

I’ve been fascinated with learning about the mental illness Münchausen syndrome after reading about Gypsy Rose Blanchard a couple of years ago. So when I saw this memoir pop up in netgalley, I had to listen to it. Why would someone go so far as to purposefully make themselves or a family member sick to gain attention? Extraordinary to me, however Helen Naylor’s account of her life goes through how her mother Elinor did just that, duping so many into her web of lies and disrupting so much of Helens.

Telling the story of how her mother faked both M.E and Parkinson’s, Naylor draws the listener in. Through her mother’s diaries and memories from Helen’s youth and adult life, we discover how Elinor’s narcissistic need for attention was so bad that she ultimately died from it. Helen recounts how her mother became so obsessed with her illnesses that she isolated her family from those who questioned her symptoms. A manipulator to the highest degree, she played up in front of friends, acquaintances, would even flirt with Helen’s husband, to gain the attention she craved. Even as Helen slowly began to realise that what her mother was complaining of didn’t make sense and confronted her about it, Elinor continued to lie. Pushed to the last, Helen finally had to make the decision to stay in her mother’s life or cut her off completely. A difficult decision to make.

I really enjoyed listening to Helen’s story. It’s so beyond that of what most people grow up with- a loving mother and family- that I found myself gasping at how far Elinor went at times. My only criticism of the audiobook is that it’s 10 hours long- not a quick listen to but still worth the investment.

I am magnetically pulled to "car crash stories". Books, tv shows, movies. I just want to learn about the deep, dark depravity of human nature.⁠

This links into my obsessions with horror, true crime and psychological thrillers, but these are usually true stories, usually told by the victims of a traumatic upbringing, and often these victims have escaped their prison at some point. They tell of psychological and sometimes physical scarring, and I find I just can't look away.⁠

Running with Scissors and The Trauma Cleaner are two of my favourite examples. Stories of real people experiencing the worst of humanity and living to tell the tale. ⁠

My Mother, Munchausen's and Me is not as dramatic as some of the other books I've read of this ilk. As the title suggests, this is the exploration of the authors childhood trauma centering around their abusive Mother.⁠

As always, I listened to the audiobook (kindly provided by @netgalley ) and I was very impressed to learn the author also did the narration, and very competently at that! Some of you already know the disdain I have for authors butchering their audiobooks with their voices, but this is one of the rare occasions it worked perfectly.⁠

I was drawn in by Helen's vivid accounts of her experiences with her Mother, and I could see how difficult it was for her as she grew up and started realising these experiences weren't normal. Many other reviewers have said they struggled with her reluctance to face her Mother's behaviour but I think it's important to remember that this was all she had ever known, and cutting ties with Elinor would have meant a seismic shift in her world.⁠

I appreciated the inclusion of Elinor's journal notes as this added irrefutable evidence of her twisted perceptions of reality. Having Helen's memory juxtaposed with her Mother's notes made for compelling reading.⁠

I recommend this to anyone who isn't scared to embrace their voyeuristic side. It was a well crafted exploration of a terrible condition, and the impacts it can have.

I don’t teach mental health nursing, but this may have been a good recommendation for that class. This was just too slow for me and I ended up not finishing the book. The author provided a thorough background, and her experience sounded awful, but this book was not for me.

The author's story of growing up with a mentally ill mother was nothing short of heartbreaking. Helen's mother, Elinor, faked illnesses all her life just to revel in the sympathy people showed her. She was incapable of caring for any other person, even her husband or daughter. Helen tells her story interspersed with entries from her mother's journals showing the depth of her deception.

The author grew up doing all the household chores because her mother was always "too ill." Because she truly believed her mother was ill, the author happily cared for the house and her mother, always trying to gain her mother's favor. Her efforts were fruitless. Her mother took every opportunity to belittle her and her father just watched it happen. Helen was left alone as an infant and toddler and stayed home from school often when her mother was "too ill" to take her.

All of this kept up into Helen's adulthood where she was expected to be a caretaker to her mother after the death of her father. When Helen married and started a family of her own, her mother's behavior became too much to ignore. What followed was Helen's journey to exert her own strength and find the courage to end the cycle of manipulation she had been a victim of all her life.

I was at times horrified, angry, sad, and hopeful while reading this amazing story.

This was an interesting insight into how Munchausen's consumed the lives of everyone within the Naylor family. Helen bravely tells her story in this audiobook, through her own narration, of what it was like growing up with a mother who had Munchausen's and how it impacted her right up until present day. While this was an interesting read and quite disturbing at times I felt it lacked a little depth and would have loved to have heard more about Helen's father and the actual impact the mother/daughter relationship had on her every day life. There are quite a lot of sections of the book which came across as repetitive and I really would have been interested to hear more introspection from Helen to understand her experience more rather than the repeated narrative. The book is interspersed with some sections of her mothers diary which at times appear quite distracting and out of place until the end, maybe larger sections would have provided more insight and coherence?

It is a hard book to review as it contains such sensitive topics and is someone's lived experience, I just felt it could have been so much more. Overall, I can't say I enjoyed this book but could suggest it for someone who wanted to get a starting impression of Munchausen's and it's effects on a family as a whole.

TW: Child abuse/neglect, self harm, body dysmorphia, disordered eating, gaslighting, toxic relationships, miscarriages, suicide attempt

This book was exactly what I was expecting based on the title. It was sad, emotional, traumatic, and heartbreaking. There were times that I physically gasped at the things Naylor’s mother said or did to her and her family. My heart goes out to anyone who does not have a mother that treats them like they are their world.

An very interesting listen. This book details a daughter journey through and with her mother who she learnt had Munchausen syndrome. Very sad and disturbing how it was let slip for so long. An amazing story of strength from her daughter who despite growing up In a difficult environment worked hard to provide a happy stable family life for her daughters

I don't have a lot of words for this audiobook. It's interesting at its core, but the execution just felt lacking. Despite the relatively short run time of this audiobook, it felt like it streeeetched out even when on double speed. The narration felt a bit too put on which left it feeling a tad disingenuine. It's a solid middle roader for me. 3 stars.

This was so well done. The analyzing of how it affected Helen to what could have caused it munchausen's/narcissism was all done in an incredibly interesting way. It really gave an inner look into how it escalates as the people's lives around them change (ie. birth of a baby), and how it spirals as people and doctors realize a lot of the symptoms are made up.

*****SPOILERS*****
TW: Suicide, gaslighting, toxic parent/child relationship, abuse, cutting, fat shaming, eating disorders, depression, miscarriages

About the book:There was a time when I loved my mother. It’s shocking to imply that I stopped loving my mum because mothers always love their children and always do their best for them. Mothers are supposed to be good. But my mother wasn’t good.Ten years ago, Helen Naylor discovered her mother, Elinor, had been faking debilitating illnesses for thirty years. After Elinor’s self-induced death, Helen found her diaries, which Elinor wrote daily for over fifty years. The diaries reveal not only the inner workings of Elinor’s twisted mind and self-delusion, but also shocking revelations about Helen’s childhood.
Release Date: November 25th, 2021
Genre: Memoir
Pages: 276
Rating: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

What I Liked:
• Her telling her story
• Being as honest as she can be at this time in her life

What I Didn't Like:
• This book felt longer than it was
• The narration
• It felt like it held back

Overall Thoughts: I listened to the audiobook of this and omg it drove me up the wall. I don't know how many people are listening to this book with headphones on, but you can hear everytime the author/narrator licks her lips. I tried to ignore it but it's right there every 30 seconds.

The mom is just terrible. She lived to remind her daughter that she is fat, stupid, would be a terrible mother, weak, and so much more. I can't even imagine having a mother like that and it breaks my heart.

I had a friend that had Munchausen's syndrome. She would borrow crutches and say she broke her foot and kept it up for weeks. I once was in the hospital for a kidney infection and she showed up and tried to convince everyone she had a kidney infection so bad that maybe she should admit herself too. Its exhausting to be around someone like that. Plus she also had narcissistic behavior just like the mom in this book. If someone beeped at us walking down the road it was never at me but at her because she was so beautiful.

I wanted to love this book but I just liked it. Not taking from the author or the pain she had to live through, but it just felt like she held back. Maybe it's because it's difficult for her to process everything so she just wanted to skin the basics of the trauma but I kept waiting for this moment that never came.

Final Thoughts: Definitely worth a listen if this subject manner is something you can handle. There are a lot of triggers in this one.

I enjoyed this book. I learned a lot about Muchausen's. And found the interesting how it affected everyone. I thought it was a little slow at the beginning, but picked up about a quarter of the way in and very enjoyable after that. I am glad that Ms. Naylor shared her story with everyone, hopefully it will help other in her situation see the signs!

Read by the author. This memoir reads like a Lifetime movie which makes the fact that it's a true story all the more horrifying. I have always been fascinated by Munchausen's and Munchausen's by Proxy. After listening to this book, I feel that I learned a lot about the behaviors and actions of someone with Munchausen's that have not been a part of the Hollywood "glamorization" of this illness. Helen Naylor's strength and resilience is evident in each chapter. I highly recommend this one, especially as an audiobook to hear the story in the author's own voice.

My Mother, Munchausen's and Me gets three stars from me, which translates to, "I liked it." This memoir is well written, and the narration is well suited for the text / content. Helen Naylor does a fantastic job telling the tale of what it was like to grow up with a mother who was narcissistic, self-absorbed, and draining, and she does so in such a way that she is not bad mouthing her mother. Helen's mother, Eleanor, reminds me of my own grandmother who has some of these same tendencies (histrionic, manipulative, narcissistic), yet doesn't have the capacity to be cruel. Reading My Mother, Munchausen's and Me is almost like having a conversation with the author. I recommend this book to anyone who has dealt with someone who presents with these types of personality traits. Thank you to the author and NetGalley for approving this read.

Audiobook review - My Mother, Munchausen’s and Me, Helen Naylor.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have really taken an interest in Munchausen’s lately. It’s an interesting mental illness that seems to be overlooked in today’s society. This story is no different.

This is a memoir based around Helen’s life looking after her disabled mother who in fact was not disabled. She went through a turbulent, neglected childhood and had to take on the role of carer at such a young age. Her mum fooled everyone around her with her ME and Parkinson’s - both of which were exaggerated.

What I find, however, with stories like this is the monster they create out of the person with Munchausen’s. Understandably, Helen had a difficult life and in order to share this she must share how bad it was from her point of view. However, we often forget that these people are mentally ill themselves. Elinor (her mum) was physically hurting herself by the end - she must have been in a dark, addiction-controlling place to do this. People were overlooking her lies and medical teams were not communicating effectively in order to identify her Munchausen’s. She was failed by many. I think, because of the one-sidedness of it, the sympathy goes all to the author but actually this woman was deeply troubled. Yes, she didn’t want psychological help, but this was an addiction of attention. She didn’t realise she needed this help.

I can see the attempt of portraying Elinor’s side with her diaries but there wasn’t many and they were quite limited. I’m aware that this is a true story and there may not have been many diary excerpts to work with, but was there not another way to put her side across? It was as if she was actively seeking to ruin everyone’s life and, maybe she was, but she was also mentally ill. The ending was better as it started to provide reasons why she was like this rather than just portraying her as a monster but I still feel like this has the potential to be damaging for people with borderline personality disorders.

Despite this, the writing itself portrayed everything a memoir should, in my opinion. The thoughts, feelings and connection to the characters. I felt like I knew each of them personally. It was very informative and educated me on the world of knowing someone with Munchausen’s. A very interesting read.

🎧Audio ARC Review🎧

Genre: Memoir
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Release Date: November 25, 2021

❓❓Do you know what Munchausen’s is???

Up until a couple of days ago, I had no clue what in the world that was. This is why I love non-fiction, especially memoirs, so much because you always learn something new!!

Munchausen’s is a psychological disorder where someone pretends to be ill or they deliberately make up symptoms when people are around to garner attention. Saaaayy what…I did not know people did this and it actually had a name!! 😳😳

This memoir is centered around Helen whose mother, Elinor, pretended to have ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for more than 30 years. Not only did she pretend to have ME, she also pretended for years that she had Parkinson’s. Even though she had the most mild form of it and the doctor’s told her she could live for years and years with it, she pulled the wool over her friends, family, and several doctor’s eyes. Helen spend her childhood as early as three years old caring for her mom when she should have been having fun with her friends and enjoying weekend outings with her family. After Helen’s mom induces her own death, Helen discovers her moms diaries and realizes everything has been a lie and for years she has been played.

Throughout the novel, my heart broke for Helen. It broke for all the years that were stolen from her as a child and it broke for the stress and agony it caused her while she was trying to raise a family with her husband. If there was ever someone better at the guilt trip it was Elinor!! She was ridiculously narcissistic and had the insane power to bring everyone down and cater to her every need.

For years I have known that some people are addicted to alcohol, some sex, and other people are addicted to pills. Throughout this novel my eyes were opened to how people like Elinor are addicted to their illness. This story is emotional, disturbing, frustrating and an interesting look at how one narcissistic person can deceive so many! Snatch this one at the end of non-fiction November!!

Thank you NetGalley for this audiobook in exchange for my honest thoughts.

#munchausens #fakeillness #mymothermunchausensandme #memoirs #nonfiction #nonfictionnovember #eyeopening #audiobooks #netgalley

I unfortunately did not listen to the entire audiobook. The narration did not work for me and I had a hard time listening.

I think a lot of people will be interested in this story - myself included, but the narration was not for me.

Thank you for the opportunity to listen!

I seriously don't know where to start with this review.

I'm absolutely staggered by the experiences that are described in this captivating account of the author's relationship with her mother and the obvious damage that was a result.

Although disturbing and distressing in many ways, the account unfolds in such a way as to captivate but, more importantly, to inform the reader of the impact of loving and living someone with Munchausen's syndrome.

I'm astounded that Helen Naylor has been able to 'relive' these experiences and hope that in this re-telling that she has taken the time to look after her own emotional wellbeing!

It saddens me greatly that Eleanor missed out so much by deliberately fabricating serious illnesses, over many years, to make everything 'all about her'.

She didn't miss out on material things but, sadly, for so many people in her life, their interactions with her were a duty that had to be performed.

She missed out on the love and comfort that only a spouse can offer. She missed out on the love that only a daughter can give her mother. She missed out in the joy that grandchildren bring. She missed out on the genuine love of a good friend.

She missed out in so much and in the process caused untold damage to so many!

Helen Naylor, tonight I'll raise a glass to you and Peter and your undoubtedly beautiful children, wishing for you, all the things that Eleanor missed out on.

An astounding and heartbreaking account of a family broken by selfish choices.