Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for this e-arc. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Gravity is so much kinder here. Water is home.

This book absolutely blew me away. It was a fun quick read. Honestly I’ve been ripping through books lately. I’ve finished the last few in less than a day and I typically do not have that type of reading stamina. I loved that we have a character with physical limitations as our main character. I rarely see that in book. She comes from a Peruvian family with very strong beliefs about the way a girl should act and what she can and cannot do. At the top of the list of don’t is definitely becoming a mermaid in the mermaid cove show. Veronica tries out and much to her surprise she makes the cut. She convinces her parents she got a much more respectable job down at mermaid cove. While all this is going on she’s also dealing with the looming possibility of her needing a hip replacement. But for the first time she has the doctors talking to her instead of just to her parents. This book was full of fun summer moments while also dealing with real life problems. If you’re looking to at some different representation to your reads this is a great one to pick up.

} v i b e s {
~ Florida Summer
~ summer before senior year
~ mermaid town with fun mermaid shows
~ Peruvian family
~ disability (physical) rep, hip dysphasia
~ coming into your own
~ standing up for yourself

TW: diversephobia (a character in this book is betrayed as being unwilling to change in regards to anything different, skin color, scar marks)

Sometimes I hate myself for starting a new book so soon after finishing one that I cherish so much. Somehow it feels unfair to review Breathe and Count Back from Ten because my mind was still on that other book, and therefore I might have been less enthusiastic than I thought I would be.

First of all, I loved the premise of this story, a Peruvian-American girl with hip dysplasia finally trying to be who she wants to be instead of being that disabled Peruvian girl with very strict and overprotective parents.

Natalia Sylvester’s writing is captivating and very easy to read, and will probably attract lots of teens. I found the Mermaid theme well-chosen, especially related to Veronica’s disability. I adored Alex from the start, and I loved the character growth in this story.

And still … Somehow, I didn’t feel much. I didn’t long for the story when I wasn’t reading. I found myself not really caring for the characters. I thought the romance was a bit rushed and underdeveloped. I just read, and my mind was on the book I had read before.

So, please read other reviews because this is definitely an it’s me, not the book case.

Breathe and Count Back from Ten is a sweet coming-of-age book following Verónica and her quest to become a mermaid at her local tourist trap 'Mermaid Cove'. Verónica has hip dysplasia, but she does not let this stop her from following her dreams.

I thought this book was a cute, albeit predictable, read. There was a lot of character growth, Verónica as well as her sister and parents. I did find her parents to be very intense and a bit too harsh for what is supposed to be a lighthearted book. However, her friends and the love interest, Alex, were very supportive and were just sweet. I would say the romance took a bit of a back seat to the rest of the story, but I think that was a good thing.

The representation and insight in this book was enlightening. I am not disabled myself, so it is hard for me to understand what Verónica was experiencing, but I appreciated the insight into her disability. I think this kind of representation, both of disability and mental health (also present in the book) is so important and I hope more YA readers see themselves in this book. I am giving this book 3 stars because it is a solid YA contemporary romance, but it was a little too simple and predictable for me.

4 stars

Thank you Harper360YA for sending me this copy!

Breathe and Count Back to Ten tackles some serious topics and that’s what I love in my reads!

Verónica is has suffered from dysplasia since her birth and she went through countless surgeries. Learning about the pain she was in so often that she learned not to pay attention to it was eye opening!
Every time she walked, she felt self-conscious and tried to stand tall and smooth out her gait.
She has always felt different and it was hard to hide her scars, her braces when she had a surgery or a limping.

When she went to watch the local show of performing mermaids, it was a revelation!
“Like the mermaids, I, too, was a hybrid creature with two halves that didn’t match. Until I first encountered them, I’d never considered this could be beautiful.”
From that first day, she will be obsessed with the mermaids and she’ll dream of becoming one!
It also helped that the best therapy for her hip was swimming in a pool!
In the water, with no pressure on her joints, Verónica felt so light, at home!

But her dream does not fit into her parents expectations!
They traveled from Peru to give their two daughters a chance at a better life.
But that comes with a lot of pressure on Verónica and her sister Dani.
Vero can’t be seen alone with a boy. She can’t hope working as a mermaid as it’s not serious and that won’t help on her résumé.
I confess that I had a hard time with Verónica’s parents as I felt stifled by their overprotectiveness.
But I also had a very hard time with Vero as she lied to her parents to get to do what she wanted.
I hate liar. I hate dishonesty.
And even if I understood why she did it, I still didn’t like it.

The second main topic in the book was being a child of immigrants in the US.
Vero’s parents were afraid to do anything that could compromise their acceptance in the US and have their green card revoked. And that pressure was put on Verónica ‘s shoulders too.
“Leslie just doesn’t get it. She doesn’t know what it’s like to have parents who constantly remind you, either in words or by actions, that the endless hard work they endure in this country is all so you can have a better life than they did. That as a result, subconsciously you’re always measuring, comparing, asking, am I doing enough to justify what they gave up to come here?”
Being bicultural can also be hard!
“Sometimes I feel like being bicultural means having to be perfect for two groups of people instead of simply being accepted as part of both.”

I loved that story about a disabled character who is determined to live her dreams, no matter what and embark on a path to discover who she is and what really matters to her.

Breathe and Count Back from Ten is a heartfelt OwnVoices YA-contemporary novel (which means the writing is inspired by the author's own experiences and written from their own perspective). And it's this that gives the story a genuine and personal feel. The protagonist's descriptions of her relationship with her body, as well as its impact on those around her and society, were powerful and insightful. Disability is rarely central to novels, especially in YA, but the author handles it wonderfully. While the story has a light, fun summer vibe to it, it also delves into heavier themes such as immigration, disability justice, coming of age into your sexuality, and bodily agency.

PLOT
The story follows Verónica, a Peruvian American teen with hip dysplasia, who auditions to be a mermaid at a Central Florida theme park while navigating first love and learning to feel safe in her own body. While the plot is fairly simplistic, the author’s exploration of the mentioned themes, as well as Vero’s self-perception, adds meat to the bone. We learn about Verónica's pain, its impact on her life, and her experiences in hospitals, schools, and even restaurants which were interesting. However, while all of this was great, and I enjoyed reading it, it did reach a point (from the halfway mark onwards) where there didn't seem to be enough going on (conflict), which left me feeling a little bored. Also, while many people may not mind, I felt the ending was a little lukewarm.

CHARACTERS
Character relationships and dynamics were well-developed and added new dimensions to the story. It felt authentic and personal, as if I were really getting a glimpse into another person's life, which I appreciated and is a testament to the author's ability to weave her own personal experience into the story. It made room for discussions and dynamics such as Vero's conflict between her and society's perception of disability; her relationship with her overprotective parents; and the importance of good friends. Even the romance, which felt off with its insta-love and stagnation as the novel progressed, was appreciated with its healthy portrayal.

WRITING
The writing is pretty straightforward and easy to read. Nonetheless, it was full of beautiful and memorable lines that I saved to read again. I loved how the author’s used water and mermaid mythology to explore Vero’s experience with hip dysplasia. I also liked how the transition between English and Spanish was seamless and never read awkwardly.

Overall, given the limited number of good representations of disability in books in general, it's a delight to have such a remarkable book contribute. My knowledge of hip dysplasia is very limited, so I enjoyed learning more about it and Vero’s experience with it through this story. I can't speak for the authenticity/representation of these experiences, but they were well-written and felt genuine to me, and I believe that everyone can stand to gain from this book.

[Thank you NetGalley and Clarion Books for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review!]

Verónica's fascination with the performers at Mermaid Cove—a stand-in for the equally excellent show at Weekee Wachee Springs—comes from both an acknowledgement of their beauty and an envy of their seemingly effortless gracefulness.* The Cove, then, and the humid, sunbaked grounds of Verónica's apartment block become the backdrop for a well-drawn, cute story of how a girl meets a guy, gets a job, argues her way to the same, eventual yet tense understanding all teens manage with their parents, and manages to, in the space of a few months, grow up a little more.

Additionally, there is a magic in seeing yourself reflected in the things you enjoy. This is especially true when the parts of yourself that you see are the ones that are less acknowledged or, in other cases, politely, yet pointedly, ignored. Sylvester includes Verónica's hip dysplasia and family background in a way that, gratifyingly, defies that polite ignorance, as well as the gasping pity and horror expressed all too often by primetime medical dramas. Both are, instead, presented as yet another, mundane part of her life experience: she goes to the pool, she fights with her parents, she has a disability, she watches her younger sister, she's a mermaid.

And, I guess, she lives in Florida, but that's beyond any of our control.

*There's a whirlpool of a metaphor in here somewhere about how the mermaid performance relates to the performance of "normalcy" by those who are differently abled and the hidden effort that goes into both, but I digress.

Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for an ebook of Natalia Sylvester’s YA novel BREATHE AND COUNT BACK FROM TEN, which just came out this past May and features a Peruvian-American teen with hip dysplasia and dreams of becoming a professional mermaid 🦈

My friends I am telling you that you need to read this book. This book is about being disabled and female and immigrant and Peruvian-American and the growing pains of being all four. It’s about how parents and their protective nature escalates when you’re all four (”They treat me like a fragile package no one should ever dare touch or open…when I’m the one who knows what my body can and can’t handle”). It’s about listening to bodies, letting bodies speak for themselves, to give these bodies the place and time to choose their own paths. It’s about how inadequate language sometimes is when expressing our pain. It’s about how much it hurts when we are forced to mask the ways our bodies sit on this earth differently, and how freeing it is when we don’t have to. It’s about mermaids and magic and dreams, but also about coming of age and finding the kind of love that doesn’t shame you for who you are. It’s about the kind of love that touches in ways you consent to and touches your body as your body. It’s about water holding you, speaking your language.

This book is about how we are all imperfect things, and by god, let us exist as we are, in these waters of imperfection! About not having to explain yourself and being known. About being seen. About feeling seen as a disabled reader. About rewriting stories. About telling more stories like this.

Breathe and Count Back from Ten really surprised and enchanted me. I was drawn to the novel due to the tension between disability and authenticity in the main character, and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. What I experienced was a powerful, poignant, compassionate, and contemporary novel about dreams, family, chronic pain, love, and so much more besides.

The protagonist, Verónica, is a Peruvian‑American teenager living in Florida with her parents and younger sister. She has hip dysplasia, which has required (and still will require) multiple surgeries, which have left her with scars on her leg. The best rehabilitation for her is swimming, and so she has become strong, supple, and agile in the water. In this, she is supported by her family.

Verónica’s parents have very strong ideas about her future, a future they have fought hard to gain: they are immigrants in America, constantly caught between the desire to “fit in” and the legacy of honouring their culture. This puts immense pressure on both Verónica and her sister Dani, who are both trying to figure out their place in the world.

However, Verónica has a dream of her own: to become one of the women who star as mermaids at a local underwater attraction called Mermaid Cove, a place that has entranced her for most of her life. However, it’s not seen as an acceptable option in the eyes of Verónica’s parents. Despite this, when a spot within the mermaids team opens up, Verónica decides to try for the audition, even though there’s more bad news about her hip which presents a difficult choice for her to make.

And then there’s Alex, new to the apartment block where Verónica lives, and there’s a mutual attraction between the two. Verónica is cautious though, due to an event which scarred her emotionally and left her vulnerable. But with Alex and Leslie (Verónica’s best friend) at her side, can Verónica make this summer one to remember?

Despite the potential for thinking this novel is shallow, there’s actually so much commentary within this story that it packs a punch. Reading it as a disabled woman with chronic pain, there were whole passages that left me weeping with the resonance of events and feelings. Themes include not just disability but bodily autonomy (both in terms of Verónica as a disabled person and as a young adult), control issues, familial responsibility, authenticity, consent (medical and otherwise), immigration, belonging, r*cism, s*xual assault, ableism, patriarchy, women’s voices, disabled voices, intersectional identities, limitations and breaking through them, empowerment, love, support, and found family.

Overall, this was a great read and I highly recommend it. I promptly pre-ordered it in hardback once I was finished and I look forward to enjoying it again and again.

I received an e-ARC from the publisher, Clarion Books, through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This was such a wholesome book of overcoming health issues and not letting them getting the better of you. Of doing what you love even with the odds stacked against you. It was difficult at times to read how over protective her parents were and I did want to smash their heads together at times but understanding it’s their culture and they risked a lot and don’t want anything to jeopardise their immigration status.

If you’ve always dreamt of being a mermaid then this book is for you!

Thank you to Clarion Teen for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Wow. This book. Wow.

This book is beautiful. Natalia has taken parts of her own experience growing up with hip dysplasia and created the most beautiful character in Veronica. This book is probably one of the best I've read when it comes to disability rep. Natalia weaves Vero's disability in but never lets it define her. The added element of wanting to become a mermaid is perfect. It creates a layer to the story that really brings it to life.

I really enjoyed this book and I think everyone should pick up this story.

I'm so happy this book exists! It had such great and accurate disability representation in a genuine way (because the author actually has hip dysplasia) and it's such a desperately needed representation. The romance parts were a bit instalove but I didn't mind it because they get to know each other very well and it isn't surface level. I appreciated the discussions of mental health, ownership and consent over your own body especially within a disability point of view, and how friendships were fleshed out with the main character.

Sometimes you read a book that floors you so much that writing a review or reflection feels impossible, because all you're left with is the achey, pulpy heart of recognition. So what I'll say is this.

BREATHE AND COUNT BACK FROM TEN is what people talk about when they describe complex, nuanced characters. It's what people mean when they say a story is intersectional and specific and alive. This book is IT, and even though it's meant for teens, I will be thinking about it for a long long time. #AuthorGoals, for real. I am shook.

Excuse me while I go purchase my own copy, because this netgalley arc is just not going to cut it.

Verónica, a Peruvian‑American teen with hip dysplasia, auditions to become a mermaid at a Central Florida theme park in the summer before her senior year, all while figuring out her first real boyfriend and how to feel safe in her own body.

I was really excited by the premise and really wanted to love this one, but unfortunately it fell flat. I didn't connect with the characters and the story had a really hard time holding my attention, despite being super cute.

I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

To be honest, I wasn't expecting much from Breathe and Count Back from Ten, just based on the cover and the synopsis, but I was very pleasantly surprised.

Breathe and Count Back from Ten tells a simple story of a teenage girl who wants to be a mermaid, but the complexity and the interest are all in the details. Since Verónica was young, she's been in awe of the mermaid performers at Mermaid Cove and has always dreamed of becoming one of them. As someone with hip dysplasia, she has learned to find herself in the water and finds solace in swimming. But, while her sister and best friend push her to follow her dream, and even her mother is supportive in a quiet way, her father is strongly opposed to the idea. And when her father makes a decision, that is the final word.

"In the water, chlorine tastes like peace and movement becomes freedom. Nobody notices my limp or scars, nobody stares as I move past them. Gravity is so much kinder here. Water is home."

It's rare to have a disability central to a narrative and for it to be discussed so openly and honestly. We learn about Verónica's pain, her experiences in hospitals and with anaesthesia from a young age, and how it impacts her day-to-day experiences and her plans for the future. There's an insight into how she views herself and the interactions she has learned to expect from others, particularly new acquaintances. I can't speak to the validity of these experiences from my own perspective, but they felt real to me.

"Here, it seems everyone gets to be whole but me. They get to be seen for who they are, not for what they aren't. They get to be defined by the things they do instead of the things they don't. Meanwhile, I get split into all these little pieces: Peruvian. Disabled. Immigrant. Fragmented as if I couldn't possibly be everything all at once, and more."

While I did find Verónica's father to be incredibly overbearing throughout the story, there's no question that he cares for her and is a good father. Everything he does is to support her, right down to the job he does to ensure the health care she needs for her many surgeries and medical appointments.

A simple story beautifully told from a unique (to popular fiction, not to the general population) perspective - I would highly recommend Breathe and Count Back from Ten.

YA contemporary romance seems to be my sweet spot at the moment, and this was a good one. Most of the time when we read books about mermaids, they are about the mythical creatures. But this book was about real life mermaids! At least, actual humans who put on mermaid tails and perform shows for people. It was cool to get a behind the scenes look at what that's like. The story as a whole follows Verónica, who struggles with the weight of her parents' expectations, trying to understand her own dreams, love and heartbreak, and figuring out what medical autonomy looks like. I loved the authentic look at Verónica's perspective of life with a chronic illness, both the ways it impacted her and the ways she refused to let it hinder her dreams. This is a modern, contemporary story, but there are moments that feel magical and enchanting. At the same time it feels real and raw. Verónica's relationship with her family is a mixed bag of love and frustration, and I love the way that family and cultural dynamics play out in the story. I also loved the snippets of Spanish weaved throughout.

I really liked Verónica as a protagonist. I found her to be the perfect balance of strong and vulnerable, and I was engaged and interested in her story throughout. I particularly liked getting to see parts of her culture and how that genuinely influenced her as a person – a child of Peruvian immigrants who is bilingual and bicultural. I especially loved seeing how cultural myths inspired her love of mermaids. I also love that she is a multifaceted character, and beyond romantic relationships, we get to see in depth focus on parent-child relationships, sibling relationships, and friend relationships. And most importantly, Verónica's relationship with herself.

Overall I really liked this book. It's such an easy read and was perfect to help pull me out of my reading slump. If you are looking for a fun, YA contemporary, ownvoices story, look no further than this one. It's a really great read!

review ♥
breathe and count back from ten- natalia sylvester
★ ★ ★ ★

•hip dysplasia
•latina representation
•mermaids
•swimming
•boy-next-door

Verónica is a Peruvian- American teen with dreams of finding herself. Throughout her life, Verónica has been in and out of surgeries to care for her hip dysplasia. The only activity that helps ease the pain and take her mind off the struggles of being a teenager is swimming. She lives in a town where mermaids are fantasized about, and children can believe in fairytales. When try-outs open for a new mermaid at the nearby theme park, Verónica knows she has to give it her all, despite the pressures from her parents.

I loved the disability representation in this novel. Verónica is not an object to be looked at and deserves nobody’s sympathy. She is just a girl who longs to be herself. The parental rules and struggles are also very relatable, and I adored the relationship with Dani, Verónica’s younger sister. This is a story about accepting yourself for who you are and learning how to advocate for your own body. I enjoyed every moment of it and the story was a perfect opening for summer reading.

I’ve never seen a book with hip dysplasia representation before! As someone with the condition, it was really nice to read about someone else with the same thing. The main character was very lovable and you could empathize with her.

Rating: 2.5 stars

I had a hard time getting into the story, unfortunately. While Natalia's writing is lovely, the pacing didn't work for me, and I couldn't connect to the characters. and trust me, I tried.

While our situations aren't exactly the same, Verónica and I are both daughters of immigrants, love the water, and aren't exactly the picture of perfect health (and her name is Verónica for crying out loud!), you'd think there'd be some thread I could grasp onto that would connect with her but it didn't work that way.

The romance, despite a few sweet moments, is not it. It's reeks heavily of instalove and is just watered down and not particularly exciting. The immigrant parent-child dynamic is great in theory, but I'm not a fan of its execution. Maybe it's a sign of my age that I'm more sympathetic towards the parental figures than the protagonist, but I've read my fair share of rebellious, no-dad-I'm-giving-up-your-dream teens and none of them have rubbed me the wrong way the Verónica does, and I think it's because her arc isn't particularly balanced or developed. It's just a very in your face, "I'm right, you're wrong," childhood independence story.

The bright spots in the book are the setting and the depictions of hip dysplasia. Mermaid Cove sounds fantastic and definitely made its way onto my fictional bucket list. More importantly, I loved the disability rep. It was honest and unapologetic and hands down the best part of the book. It warmed my chronically ill, healthcare providing heart, and I can only hope this is just the beginning of disability rep in YA.

I read this book as part of my effort to read books in the OwnVoices category, especially those having to do with either LGBTQIA+ or disabled main characters. These are two of the many facets of the OwnVoices “category” of books that I myself identify with and feel most comfortable reading because I can empathize to a great extent with the protagonist of the story. This one was a real gut punch in a lot of ways, but being it’s YA fiction and also has a lot of cultural and family ties I have no familiarity with, I also couldn’t access the entirety of who Veronica (our protagonist) is and therefore couldn’t empathize with her entirely. The parts I did identify with, though? Those parts played me like a fiddle, plucking at some of my deepest and most true thoughts and feelings about my own disabilities and pain, and also the way both the medical industry and people in general tend to talk about and treat people with disabilities (both visible and not). Did I cry at times? A little bit. No shame in that. Art should make you feel. That’s what it’s there for.

This story about a teenage girl who only finds relief from the pain of hip dysplasia when she’s in the water and finds escapism in dreams about being able to work as a mermaid at a local tourist attraction where she can both be a mermaid and entertain crowds while earning a paycheck is very well-paced and has a great, even cast of well-drawn and diverse characters. The story is fresh, as is the mermaid folklore Veronica and her mother bring to the table within the book from Peru, which plays an important part in the story. Maps, immigration, security, family, and a sense of home are also all important themes in this strong novel. I recommend picking it up if you want to add it to your pile of diverse books. It’s a great read.

Thanks to NetGalley and Clarion Books for granting me early access to this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.

A beautifully written novel about the love for family, devotion to a better life, and self acceptance. Both well written and thought provoking, the story cycles through the relationship between parents and children, immigrants and first generation children, siblings and friends.
This will be recommended for 8th grade students whole heartedly