Ahhh I'm overjoyed that this book exists in the world. Ben Pechey makes the journey through this book so fun. I think the book is mostly meant to help folks who are new to being non-binary or are exploring genderfluidity. Pechey gives tools for self-care and ways to continue to explore genderfluidity and navigate hate from others. This book is, as the title suggests, full of joy and I absolutely loved it!

This book is. Fine. If I was not ten years into my nonbinary self and incredibly confident in it, it’s possible I would have enjoyed it more. But this might also be a “problem” with how it is a self-help book. Lots of allies and cisgender people enjoyed this book, so maybe it will be for you! But it was not for me. I felt kind of talked down to and spoken to like a tiny baby animal, which is great for many people! I am simply not one of them.

Three stars.

Note about my review: I'm not non-binary, so I am not the main target audience for this book. I read it to check it out as a potential book to add to lists and recommendations (since I don't usually like recommending books I haven't personally read!)

There is a lot to love about this book! It's very intentional about its goal to encourage non-binary people to seek and find joy and pleasure in their lives. There is some discussion about harder topics, but the author is very clear about avoiding as much triggering language as possible (For instance, at one point, they talk about how to acknowledge and avoid triggers in your daily life and they intentionally do not give examples.)

This book radiates joy and has the same energy as the cover. It emphasizes small and big ways that non-binary people can prioritize happiness. At times, these suggestions felt a little bit surface level (things like "go take a bubble bath", etc.), but that was also kind of the point- finding joy in simple daily activities.

The tone of this book is very conversational and the author uses many many terms of endearment like "darling" throughout the book. Some people might really find this comforting, but it bothered me and at times almost felt patronizing. Again, this is up to personal preference. There are also TONS of pop culture references which might be a pro or a con depending on your taste, but it's good to be aware of beforehand.

I didn't really understand why there were activities like word searches and crossword puzzles included, but I liked the fill-in-the-blank sections for brainstorming personalized ideas.

Overall, my feelings about this book are pretty mixed. I appreciate what the author did with it, but I also know it may be off-putting to some types of readers because of the tone.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!

Thank you to the publishers for providing me with an eArc in exchange for my honest review!

This book was a really comfortable read that I wish I had when I was way younger and still questioning a lot about myself. I believe it will benefit people who are questioning their gender or want to learn more about gender.

I will say that the book doesn't go in dept on the topic of being non binary but instead is a place where being non binary is celebrated and opens up conversations while also providing extracts from queer guests. It is a quite simplified explanation that doesn't go much into the whole idea of identity which was a bit unfortunate I thought! It could have offered up so much more to help an older audience as well as young people who may be questioning their identity.

After each chapter there is a small section that sums up the chapter which I found really handy! The narrator was, for the most part, enjoyable to listen to but i also felt a bit uncomfy with them constantly saying "darling", it just made me feel like I was in work and an older person was talking to me in that specific way that makes you want to roll your eyes but you can't 🤷‍♂️

I did not learn anything new from this book so I would probably recommend it for teens or someone who has generally no idea of gender and terms such as 'gaslighting' which was for some reason featured in this book?

So yeah, if you aren't well versed on and want to learn more on identity and being non binary then this is a book that may be for you! (But mainly most of the stuff I have in the past read and searched up on Google.)

On a last note, this maybe picky and just a personal issue but I am so not fond of the cover of the book either 😅😅

The Book of Non-Binary Joy by Ben Pechey is a short, warm, and reassuring book of wisdom that I think a lot of people could use.

If there’s one thing Ben does wonderfully (other than their writing) is delightfully inform and reassure the reader in a manner that’s not supercilious. While reading, it was comforting to be reminded of things once thought of in my journey of figuring out my identity and my journey in general. Ben effortlessly weaves wisdom, pop culture references, and even quick little activities, as well as the highs and lows of being non-binary that evoke acknowledgment and safeness. Knowing that other people have gone through similar experiences whilst balancing levity is all one could ask for.

Having stated how warm, reassuring, and comforting this is, I think I would’ve enjoyed this so much more if I wasn’t currently comfortable with my gender identity. This is not to say that it’s not a good read whatsoever, but that I’m not searching for answers I don’t have–which this book definitely provides. The Book of Non-Binary Joy feels like a book for those who could use a reminder of who they are and where they come from, whether you’ve just begun your gender identity journey or have been on it for decades.

The Book of Non-Binary Joy by Ben Pechey features warm words of wisdom and is a fun, pleasant, and educational (for many) book that I think many people should read regardless of gender identity.

Disclosure: I don’t rate non-fiction unless the book leaves a significant impact, so there is no rating.

Thank you, NetGalley, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, and Ben Pechey for the arc.

Thank you to Netgalley, Jessica Kingsley Publishers and Ben Pechey for allowing me to read the eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

The Book of Non-Binary Joy is an unapologetic and vibrant exploration into what it means to be non-binary and how you can derive joy from being non-binary. It's an uplifting celebration of all things non-binary and offers readers ways of being that bit kinder to themselves in moments when our current society makes it harder for them to live their authentic selves.

The author has a very distinctive, friendly tone of voice. It's sort of like you're reading a conversation with a friend which I can see working well as an audiobook. It did take me a while to get used to being called 'darling' every few paragraphs, but eventually I lent into it because after all, this book is about joy! I've come to the conclusion that because there was a truly incredible amount of times the word 'darling' was used it must be some kind of inside joke or potentially drinking game material. Either way it adds a fun flair to the narrative.

I think this book is probably best suited younger audiences (perhaps 14+ years as there is some swearing and adult themes) and would be particularly validifying for anyone at the beginning of their self discovery journey. I know I would have adored for this book to have been in my school library when I was younger, but I personally didn't come away from the book having learnt much I didn't already know and didn't always agree with some of the author's opinions.

I did however really like the inclusion of the bitesize summaries at the end of each chapter as it's these snippets that you're going to want to make notes of to remember. I also read the book in chronological order, however also liked that the author noted that you can read the chapters in whichever way is going to suit you best. I can see this book working well as something that you check in with occasionally and re-read a section that feels most relevant or needed at specific times.

Whilst this book wasn't particularly to my taste, I am really pleased that it's been written because it's a much needed positive piece of representation for non-binary people.

As a non-binary adult in my mid-30's there are parts of this book that perhaps aren't aimed at me, which is a shame. There are plenty of people out there who don't figure out their gender identity in their early teens, who don't hit 18 and immediately get the medical transitions they need and that audience is still sorely forgotten about. As a disabled person too, the section that says to avoid online diagnoses might be fine advice for kids, again, but as an adult living in a world where official diagnoses are like unicorn poop self-diagnosis is an essential life-line. The book gives some more cursory info on non-binarism but doesn't delve into the depths I hoped for and didn't really live up to the title. If I wanted a rudamentary expanation of the gender binary and living outside of it, I can find that myself online, what I wanted was JOY and stories of enby joy of all ages.

I liked that you could basically read any chapter out of order. That’s a very cool concept and it actually worked really well. However, the author’s narrative style was so annoying and condescending that it made getting through this a real struggle. Content wise, this didn’t really feel like it went in depth. Didn’t contain anything that you couldn’t find in a 10 minute google search. So, cool concept, but poor execution.

*Thanks to NetGalley for an eARC in exchange for an honest review

3.75/5

I loved a lot of things about this book, but it didn't stick out to me all that much. It was a great read and I would recommend it to non-binary people and allies looking to learn from own voices resources. Though I would like to warn allies that as the title suggests, it is a book aimed at non-binary people to captivate their joy. Allies can sit back and learn, but some of the things in the book are not and will never be directed at them. This is intentional on the authors part as they explain that many things are aimed at cis people, so non-binary people can have this.

One thing I absolutely loved about this book was the little illustrations that came with every chapter. They were adorable and I looked forward to them every time.

I thought that there were a lot of great specific reminders to trans and non-binary people such as,
-The reminder that trans and non-binary people deserve love regardless of what society says.
-The reminder that it's okay to care a lot about your labels and finding the right pronouns, but it's also okay to sit back and take your time.

One last thing that I loved was the acknowledgement that the non-binary identity is only new to western culture, other cultures have had something along this line for hundreds if not thousands of years and western colonization has only made that worse.

I tried to only include examples from the first couple chapters as to not spoil your reading experience :)

As a cishet person, I fully recognize that I am not the intended audience for this book. I appreciate that the author does address allies several times throughout the book. In an attempt to be a better ally and advocate, I'm attempting to read varied experiences from folx within the LGBTQIA+ community. Pechey's experiences should be viewed within the larger whole as one person's experience. I appreciate that Pechey offers many resources to help individuals once they've finished this text. Thanks for sharing your perspective!

first of all, I would like to say how happy it makes me to see books like this get published. they are so important and can save a lot of minority people, representation in the media is vital and I am so glad that trans / non-binary people are finally getting safe spaces where their feelings are heard and advice is given.
I liked the variety this book offered, it had a huge range of different sections of advice. it didn't just offer the generic pieces of information that other books of a similar style do. it spoke about how to be an ally, the thoughts and feelings non-binary people may go through, relationships and everything in between. I genuinely think this will be a massive help to so many people. I really really appreciated how it started with the basics, even defining what non-binary / cisgendered and other important words mean (great for those trying to understand loved ones.) the illustrations throughout were super cute and bright, made the book have an adorable aesthetic.
my only sort of criticism was, whilst reading, it felt too fluffy and happy. I know that we need to uplift and offer advice to these members of the community, but I feel as though in a way it sugar coated some of the dark issues that are faced. sometimes its messy being LGBTQ, and those areas need to be discussed openly too.

I didn't love the really familiar style that this book is written in but it was still warm, comforting and informative.

As a non-binary person, I just didn't like the whole...vibe of this book.
The longer I look at the cover, the more put off I am by the pink and the font choices.
I didn't like some of the language used throughout the book.
I feel like it was supposed to be inspirational and instill a sense of euphoria around a person's gender, and instead it had the complete opposite effect on me. I actually put this down weeks ago and just didn't want to think about it any more (hence the very, very late review).
Not for me, but maybe it will help someone else. It's not really for me to say or dictate how someone else views and handles their gender identity.

DNF’d at 25%
I didn’t like the author’s voice. This one was definitely not for me. I largely felt like I was being told things I already know as a non-binary person. It said this book was written for us, not allies, but it definitely felt like it was written as a guidebook for allies to me. Which isn’t a bad thing by any means, but it felt like I wasn’t the target audience.
Also, really hated being addressed as ‘darling’ repeatedly.
I won’t be posting a review on my bookstagram for this one

I was really excited to read what sounded like a book made for me, unfortunately it went down hill from page one.. As many have mentioned, the author's tone is unbearable. Calling us readers darling repeatedly and saying things like "how was it?" after you finish chapter one was distracting and annoying. I felt like I was listening to a meditation or other self-guided app when that's not what I was prepared for. A lot of the narrative voice grated and came across as so patronizing that I couldn't focus on what was being said..

The premise of this book is a great one, and as a non-binary individual I would love to see another take on this idea. unfortunately, this effort just fell flat.

This was very middle-of-the-road for me. It was a cute book but I don't think it is doing anything new or outstanding. That said, I really respect the author as a person and I think they have great things to say--I just don't know if it needed to be a whole book. Constant uses of "darling" made the tone feel patronizing while the content was mostly things I've seen on an instagram infographic dozens of times already.

I did love the chapter on fashion and embracing a personal style; I think a whole book just about that topic could have been great.

I think this will work for some people. Kids or young teens who haven't had much exposure to social media could get a lot out of this book, perhaps people brand-new to queerness as well. But if you're already inhabiting queer spaces online, you probably already know everything here.

I hated the tone of this book. The author kept referring to me (the reader) directly as “darling” or “nonbinary angel” and it icked me. It felt patronizing and made me turned off from anything the narrator tried to tell me. And the author made this way to much about themselves, if they wanted that they should have just written a memoir instead. And this book really isn't as in depth as I was hoping, it is a very basic outline of nonbinary identity and didn’t get into more intricacies or intersectional parts of identity. Maybe this would be good for preteens questioning identity, but also I think they could get all this info and more just from a basic google search or a few minutes on twitter. I wanted to read this as a trans person who identified as a trans man and medically transitioned now exploring deeper parts of my gender identity, but this book doesn’t go that deep and provided no new ideas or views to me

A fabulous work of queer representation and celebration. I think this is a must have for all public facing institutions, libraries, schools, etc. 5/5 shining stars.

This was a good book that fell a bit short for me. It reads more like a book targeted toward nonbinary people who are just starting to find themselves and/or cisgender people. I've identified as NB for years and am very well versed in knowledge about my gender and sexuality, so I don't feel like I learned a lot from this. That being said, there is important information in here that many people could really get a lot of help from.

Had a hard time getting into this book at first. It’s written in a very conversational voice with the author addressing the reader directly and familiarly. Being a private person who doesn’t readily open up to others, I found this presumed familiarity off putting. However I also saw that the author was coming at this with a sincere desire to convey joy and show non-binary readers how they, too, can and should embrace the joyfulness of a non-binary identity even in the face of skepticism, criticism and outright hostility. Eventually I sought out Ben Pechey’s social media. I had never heard of them before requesting this #NetGalley ARC as I’m old and don’t spend much time socializing online. Pechey is an engaging, fun, thoughtful and insightful speaker on social media. Also has a good sense of humor, true empathy with his non-binary followers, and a flair for styling themself. Sincere and authentic.

After getting a sense of Pechey via the medium of YouTube, the book was easier to read – the words came off the page with Pechey’s voice and delivery. I requested this book to begin with because I want to learn more about the non-binary experience. While I have “googled” as Pechey suggests, like all internet search results – there are good sources and bad sources and in a new area of investigation, it’s hard to figure out which is which. I had hopes that this book would enlighten me on (1) what it means to be non-binary, (2) whether I, myself, am non-binary, or (3) how to be a good ally to non-binary persons.

It did answer those questions to varying degrees and Pechey themself makes clear at in the book’s opening that the primary audience they are addressing is non-binary individuals except for one section written specifically for allies. As to the question of whether I am non-binary? No, I wouldn’t say that I am. But here’s the thing – I am a trans (AFAB) and it’s easy to conflate the two life experiences. There is a good deal of overlap when it comes to the struggle to understand one’s self, the eventual revelation of self to others, and dealing with the reactions of others. There is overlap in that both trans and non-binary folk navigate a predominately cis world to whom questioning one’s gender is foreign and unnecessary.

The chapter on being an ally was useful and I have more knowledge when meeting and interacting with those in the queer community who identify as non-binary.

As for Pechey’s writing, it did become very repetitive very quickly. Unfortunately I am one of those readers who finds idioms annoying and this book is a working list of the top 50 idioms in the English language. The publisher and author should consider producing an audiobook as I think Pechey’s literal voice can work to offset what started to sound like one continuous note with no variation.

Finally, I hope Pechey themself takes some time for self-care and takes their own advice from this book. A whiff of professional burnout rose to the surface from time to time – professional burnout in that the author is an active creator as a non-binary identified person. It feels like they may be struggling to balance creativity outside of the public/media demand exclusively for their non-binary creativity so to speak, and not seeing Pechey as a full artist integrating many aspects of themself. I saw this happen with trans people in the ‘90s who were out and in creative spaces and whose art reflected their trans experience. Truly encourage this author to hold space for themself, their whole self, for all the joy you’re creating for others.